Off limits
by TeaTaster
Summary: At last, fate decided to play a trick on Uta and send the worst possible human in his art studio. In the middle of a life-and-death crisis and his heart yearning for one he should not taint, Uta will have to learn to survive.
1. No need to scream

Disclaimer: Tokyo Ghoul and Uta do not belong to me. This story is purely fictional.

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**Off limits**

**Chapter 1: No need to scream**

The days he could work undisturbed on his masks were the most peaceful for Uta. He would take his usual seat at his crafting table, blast some inspirational music on his speakers and proceed shaping the respective commissioned mask following the outline of his initial sketches. Each mask designed by Uta was unique, molded after the customer´s features and personal traits. Procuring the materials was one of the easiest tasks giving the wonders of online ordering while assembling each part to create a lifeless alter ego was the rewarding side of his trade. Nothing could render Uta happier now that his bloody days as No Face were long gone and District Four currently resided under his subtle control yet nowhere near the haven that was Anteiku´s District. He would never go as far as striving for something so unnatural as human life preservation similar to what remained preached in the aforementioned district, however, there were days, lonely days, when his thoughts wandered towards a future where ghouls and humans could coexist less painfully.

He had just finished adding the final touches to his latest mask project when he heard the door to his shop open slowly, announcing someone´s arrival. He had heard her steps descend the stairs to his studio and had smelled her blocks away, her heart pumping regular doses of red nectar. If it were any other fellow ghoul, Uta would have turned around to greet them openly yet for the occasional wanderer, precautions had to be taken. With a swift movement of his hand, he reached for his working goggles and putting them on, he managed to conceal his kakugan right before she laid eyes on him and he laid eyes on her. A human.

He watched her advance towards him in pure fascination, almost expecting her to vanish into thin air like the mirage he clearly thought she was. It had been so long since a human had stumbled into his Art Studio. Far too long.

"Good afternoon," she voiced out and bowed to him slightly. "I see you´re selling masks."

"What gave it away?" He heard himself say, falling prey to his teasing tendencies. Now was not the time to play wittingly, or else he would risk seeing her exit the store sooner than desired and so he promised to restrain any further mistakes. Fortunately for him, she seemingly ignored the question and began strolling through the shop, her eyes glued to the masks displayed and ignorant of the danger breathing only a few feet away. At times, Uta did not even need to hunt. Due to the location and versatility of his studio, some of the unknowing human customers that came stumbling inside his shop would never emerge back out. Yet, it was not the case for his one. Luckily for her, Uta was well-fed that day and lately, his benevolence towards pretty human girls quite elevated. Still, he could not help but indulge in her scent, much like a human would take a few seconds to gaze at the desserts arranged on silver trays in cake shop windows, imaging the taste of each and every one of them.

"I have an event in two weeks," she started explaining. "A masquerade ball and as you may have guessed, I am in need of a mask but…I can´t find what I´m looking for. Do you, by any chance, have others in stock?"

"I do," Uta stood up, stalking closer to her. "Those don´t suit you either. I custom design them, maybe I can make one especially for you?" The ghoul offered, enthusiastic at the idea of crafting his first mask for a human. For a brief moment, she appeared hopeful, even gracing him with a smile yet one glance at the fanged mask to her right proved enough to make her doubt him again.

"Are you sure you´re up for the job?"

"Well, why don´t we try to find out?" He said, gesturing to a chair meant for taking measurements. A second of hesitation later, she went over to the chair to sit, her eyes peering at his through his goggles as if trying to discern his reasons. Securing them better in place, Uta grabbed his sketching book from the nearby table and began his protocol questions, all the while inspecting the young woman.

"Any favorite colors?" _Ah, her hair is so long and blonde, curling at the ends softly. Would she mind if I were to take a few samples? For safe-keeping._

"I suppose I like white and gold," she replied, unaware of his ulterior thoughts.

"What about materials?"

"Silk, lace, leather," she enumerated, as she leaned back into the chair. He continued to sketch away, the pen scrapping at the paper and at his instincts._ And her skin, incredibly white, the type that bruises easily and reddens at the smallest of touch._

Upon delivering his last question, Uta gazed at her intently, strictly interested in her answer.

"Your mask…what should it tell people?"

The question appeared to stir something in her grey eyes, the ash-like color swirling with sorrow. She looked up at him, her smile bitter.

"That I am more than just a pretty face."

_How ironic_, Uta thought. Masks covered your face, concealed matters of beauty, identity and recognition thus such result would regardless come along with the mask. Taking a break from his sketching, he rummaged through one of his drawers for a measuring tape in order to take her numbers. His fingers lightly touched her face, arranging it in an optimum position, sensing his own pulse racing at the contact with her skin. She allowed herself to be attended, unaware that his fingers had snapped younger and more innocent necks once, despite softly touching her now, no ill intent awakened. With great effort, he tried to keep his emotions in check, reminding himself not to go beyond the permitted boundaries and convincing himself that, as inviting as she seemed to be, she was not a candy to be unwrapped.

"So when did you start making masks?" He looked up from his sketchbook, surprised beyond measure. Before, he never really talked to humans, not a normal, casual conversation that is. No ghoul in their right mind would bond with their food to that extent. Uta, however, had always felt drawn to humans and had wanted to establish a different relationship with one but in all cases, something went wrong and their reinstated status as prey and predator would ruin the delusional connection. He carefully thought of an answer while her mask began shaping on paper in detail.

"A long time ago. I´m self-taught and it had always been a passion of mine to help people become someone else."

"I see," the young woman said, meditating on his words.

"Do you have anything that you like to do?" Uta summoned the courage. Who knew how many days would pass before he would have the chance to chat so freely with another human?

"Tailoring," she admitted it to a stranger for the first time. She had tenths of dresses at home, all her personal designs, hidden in closets with her own sketches and forgotten dreams. If she were to ever act on her goals, she would open her own boutique and launch her own line of wedding gowns but that was nearly impossible for her. "You must enjoy it very much," the woman concluded, wishing she would experience the same freedom.

"I do. It´s a good way of finding more about people."

"It´s clear now why you asked me questions earlier."

"How else would I make the perfect mask for my customer? Even if masks hide your face, they should not hide who you are inside," Uta offered, his life philosophy transpiring through.

"What if I don´t like it?"

He frowned, never having considered the possibility. "You will have to come again."

"I would like that."

At the sound of that, he dropped the pen, wondering if the shock could be read on his face. Was she flirting with him? He placed one hand on his chest trying to calm down his excitement, thankful for having experienced such a spectacular moment. He had tried getting closer to a human girl in a bar once but she refused him after a few lines, having sensed the danger somehow. That and his style did not exactly help him either and now, that formal, high-society girl was openly telling him she would not mind seeing him again. He tried to hide the smile tugging at his lips as he reached to retrieve the pen from the floor.

"I´m sorry, I was too frank," she apologized, having sensed his surprise. "I don´t usually have the chance of meeting people like you. "Truth be told, my father and brother are very strict with me. They believe I am something to keep in a crystal cage so meeting someone like you today is new to me. I´m quite envious of you, you know."

Before he could even attempt to ask her the reason of her envy, Uta heard the door to his shop open the second time that afternoon. He had been so absorbed in the girl´s existence that his ghoul senses had dulled and he thoroughly failed of sensing another of his kind approaching. The smell was recognizable, which meant it had to be one of his customers who ventured in his shop earlier than planned. Instinct took over him and without further explanations, he grabbed the girl´s hand and shoved her into the adjoined room, telling her to remain there and be quiet.

"Is something wrong?" She inquired, suddenly confused by his actions. His mind searched for a plausible answer and delivered it mechanically.

"This customer is rather private. He prefers dealing with business without a third party involved. Please understand, miss."

To his relief, she nodded and stepped away from the doorframe, still not convinced yet unable to protest. She could probably feel the rising tension in the air and thankfully, was cerebral enough to avoid challenging it. Uta was then forced to turn his attention to the intervening visitor who had already stepped inside the studio, visibly searching for the artist.

"There you are, Uta! Hope you don´t mind I stepped by earlier," a man in his thirties said. He had an ugly scar on his face and his expression, ruthless and unforgiving, could send shivers down anyone´s spine. Unimpressed by the man´s fake apology, Uta walked over to his working table to retrieve a mask.

"Your mask is ready, Subaru-san. Would you like to try it on or shall I pack it for you?"

"Yeah, you can pack it," he agreed, looking around the shop. His gaze finally settled on a door, focusing all his senses in that particular direction. He smirked, stepping closer to the door.

"You have a human there, don´t you?"

His heart jolted but he continued to work on carefully wrapping the package unperturbed.

"Is it dinner?" The man asked playfully.

"It´s none of your business, Subaru-san. Take your mask and go."

"Just a little peek won´t hurt, right?"

He did not actually believe that the wretched ghoul would open the door uninvited, revealing the girl´s location and terrified face. By the time he had appeared in front of her, the ghoul´s eyes had turned red due to the excitement. She had understood then that the private customer was none other than a fearsome ghoul who would probably devour the both of them.

"Oh, she´s quite the main course, isn´t she?" He asked Uta enthusiastically, sniffing the air and taking a better look at her. Uta considered dragging him out by force when he noticed his eyes widen, as if he had suddenly solved a puzzle. He whipped his head in Uta´s direction to let him know the result.

"You…do you even know who you have here?" He pointed a plum finger in the girl´s face, Uta´s curiosity suddenly awoken. "She´s an Arima! The bitch is Arima Kishou´s sister, I saw her picture in the newspaper! Uta, you´ve hit the jackpot, you freak, you!"

One glance in her direction and by the way her body tensed at the sound of all that was said, Uta received his confirmation. His passiveness towards the matter slightly annoyed the other ghoul, who felt the need to explain the matter further.

"She´s a top kill, don´t you see? If we eat her and send her head to Arima, we´re going to avenge hundreds of deaths and prove that no one is safe, not even these stuck-up investigators!" His hand reached for her but was violently retracted by Uta, his tone remaining calm despite the pressure in his digits.

"I don´t intend to eat her and neither will you. Please leave."

The man shook his head, pushing the younger ghoul aside. "Are you out of your mind? I´m not letting this opportunity slip!" His kagune became visible and, aimed at the girl, promised to drain life out of her in mere seconds. She was not even going to be given time to scream.

It all happened so fast. One moment the ghoul was nearly grazing her skin while the other he was squashed to the floor by Uta´s inhuman strength, a fountain of blood erupting from where he had been severed in two. He heard her gasp and that was all it took to realize what he had done. It should have been her on the ground, expiring in dead cells and yet something had overcome him to do the opposite. He took a look at his bloody hands and then at her. She was shaking harder than a leaf, her mouth hanging open in terror. He had done it, he had killed one of his own in favor of a human. Uta felt confused, a bit disgusted and relieved at the same time. Inside, he was glad she was the one to live. He half-expected her to run out but she approached him cautiously, stepping in the pool of blood as if it were a puddle, hypnotized by his face. Her hands reached up, tentatively, and removed his working goggles to see for herself if he was one of those things her brother hunted. She dropped the goggles upon seeing his red eyes, an unhealthy pallor seizing her face. And then she ran. And he did not follow.

Uta sighed, glancing at the mess. He had to clean up. Everything.

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A/N: Hello everyone! Hope you´re enjoying the story so far and if so, then please let me know by reviewing it and I´ll be really happy and quick to upload the next chapter. I really had to do a fanfic with Uta, he´s just so adorable! *_*


	2. Knocking at the right door

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Tokyo Ghoul. This story is purely fictional

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**Chapter 2: Knocking at the right door**

"Is it going well?" The direct question issued from a man late in his fifties. He kept poking furiously at his stake, while his gaze remained fixated on his white-haired son.

"Better than expected," the younger male replied, his dexterity in maneuvering the silverware putting nobles to shame. He pressed the blade of his knife at bite-size markings, then dragged, sliced and took a second to admire the pinky meat before elegantly grinding it between his teeth. Judging from his fiddling, his father clearly favored using chopsticks if given the choice, even when dealing with Western food. Arima Kishou strongly believed everything was to be done with finesse and a calculated shred of dignity, be it enjoying a meal or decapitating an enemy. In doing so, he would have no regrets or second thoughts about his choices. His entire life, Kishou centered his actions around the teachings of his beautiful mother, a cunning and well-situated woman of German descent whom his father had somehow enchanted to leave behind her life in Berlin and marry him in the Land of the Rising Sun. She had died young but the memories he had of her were always fresh in his memory, guiding him along the way. Before meeting her demise in the face of heart failure, that woman had reinforced education and had dictated rules forever carved in his mind for which he was, undoubtedly, constantly grateful. Unlike his father, Arima Daichi, who despite being an inspector in his earlier years, had not exactly been someone with an iron fist, his wife Adelisa had taken the reins of the house and particularly, of her children´s upbringing. His current position, his strong will and even his reputation within the CCG as the Reaper were all due to her influence, that, he knew with certainty. Through her bloodline, Kishou inherited her will, her intelligence and all that was needed to morph him into the adult he was today. His younger sister, on the other hand, had fallen into the more meek and obedient side of the union, namely their hard-working but unimpressive father. Saya was no prodigy but she was generous, sweet and extremely polite, traits which failed him completely but overcompensated with her own share. She was easily likeable and above all, looked exactly like their late mother with hair of gold and eyes of stone which frequently dispersed into compassion for the deserving souls. When looking at her, Kishou withstood Adelisa´s absence much easier. He would do anything for his little sister, his mother had made sure to instill that overprotective instinct in him the moment she realized that in her weakness, Saya would never be a pillar of support for the family. No matter, Kishou would bear that cross proudly.

"That´s good to hear," Daichi said, concluding his lunch. "We should be rid of these savages soon."

Kishou paid no mind to his father´s opinion, slightly skeptical about the whole ordeal. Arima senior always seemed to be optimistic about matters he had no control over.

"Ghouls are stronger than they were during your time, Father. They´re also more cautious and work in packs now rather than on their own, which makes it harder to hunt them down."

"That still shouldn´t be a problem for your new strategy. Killing off the top menaces of each district will surely cut down some of their confidence and even force most of them into ratting out their comrades. As disgusted as I am by the comparison, humans and ghouls are not very different when it comes to saving their own skin," the older man supplied. "Have you identified the main suspects?"

Kishou nodded and then gestured to one of the maids to bring him a glass of water. "Some of them, yes. We´re working on isolating their trails and when the signal is given, mobilize them."

"Let´s hope it all goes according to plan or else everything might backfire."

"We´re prepared for that eventuality as well." After all, hoping was not something Kishou used to depend on therefore plan B was always in order. For nearly two months, CCG was secretly planning a massive purge, starting off with the head of each district and thoroughly making their way down, to the last vermin surviving under each rock. He had been put in charge by his superiors, many placing trust in his ability to see this operation successfully till the end and for now, everything was going as envisioned. His father finished his drink and was about to initiate another round of discussion when a woman´s voice echoed from the other side of the dining table.

"Is it possible for a ghoul to protect a human?"

A few seconds of dead silence unfolded right before Daichi Arima let out a burst of laughter, his compassionate eyes falling on his daughter. On the opposite chair, Kishou kept a steady gaze on his sister, not so quick on dismissing her question.

"What kind of question is that, Saya?" The father asked trying to catch his breath, even shaking his head at the absurd thought. "You would say that being born into this family, you would know better than anyone. Especially since you once saw it for yourself," he said, reminding her of something she did her best to suppress all those years. A bit offended by her father´s reaction to her trembling question, she justified her inquiry.

"I was simply curious. You yourself said that humans and ghouls are alike."

That plain assumption, repeated by his daughter´s lips was enough to expel Daichi Arima from his short-lived good mood. He leaned over the table, placed both his hands on the table and furrowed his eyebrows enough to make his already black eyes into pools of tar.

"Ghouls are only concerned with killing, Saya. A ghoul would never protect a human, do you understand? And even if, by who knows what ridiculous circumstance this should happen, they would do it for their own benefit. Never mention this again." Clearly he was angry and it was a rare occurrence for Saya to contribute to her father´s ascending temper. In order to keep it in check, Daichi Arima stood up from his seat as head of the table and made his way out of the dining room sparing his children of any additional words. Saya did not realize she was holding her breath until her father was finally out of sight, nor did she understand she wanted him back when Kishou left his own chair and came behind her to grip her shoulders with cold affection.

"Are you not well? You haven´t even touched your food."

There it was again, that condescending tone, that peculiar choice of words that always managed to fool her into believing her brother was a god who could cut through deceit. Saya repressed a shudder just thinking about what he would do if only he knew what the little sister he loved and protected hid under that inexperienced liar face. Still, she chose risk over reason, lying through her teeth.

"I´m fine, just lacking an appetite today."

He regarded her suspiciously. It was impossible to ignore her lack of participation during dinner, especially since she always turned chatty when it was the three of them. On top of it, she kept her head lowered the entire time, clutching the fork in one hand and the knife in the other, as if unsure what to do with them.

"I see. Well no wonder you couldn´t eat, we insisted on talking about such disturbing issues. But don´t worry, I´ll remind Father to keep these matters away from you, my little sister doesn´t need to trouble herself with boring trivia. You need to focus on pretty things, for instance the fund raising for next week. Have you found a mask yet?"

Saya´s heart sunk, guilt eating at her conscience. There was no turning back now, only spiraling deeper into her newfound ability to lie to her kin.

"I don´t know yet. I…had someone craft one for me but I doubt it will be ready on time," she came up with the distorted information, knowing for a fact that she would never get to acquire that mask.

"Well, either way, I´m sure you will look charming in whatever you choose," Saya heard him say and looked up to him, seeing a smile that promised he could kill for her but not forgive her. "Alright, I need to go now but we´ll talk again tonight. Rest a while if you´re still unwell."

"I will," she promised, watching him leave on the same door their father used moments ago. As soon as he was out of her sight, the image of that young ghoul tearing the other in two flooded her mind and irritated her stomach to the point she fell off the chair, doing her best not to spill out her insides. A maid came to her aid at once, helping her up to her feet.

"Miss, what´s wrong? Can you stand? I need to alert the master and I will be by your side again in a minute," the other woman panicked and was about to run in search for someone to help when Saya´s hand latched onto hers securely.

"No, it´s alright. I´m just a bit indisposed, no need to tell Father."

"But miss…"

"Do as I say," she repeated her order, grabbing onto the edge of the table, trying to remember that man´s face rather than his tainted hands. But there was just so much blood, on his fingers, on the floor, on the white shoes she had secretly burned in the back yard and even in his red eyes, coagulating into jewels of terror. She couldn´t believe her bad luck. She initially liked him, she thought he was so different from her and at that time imagined he was exactly what she needed, someone to help her crawl out of her shell but it was all an unfortunate turn of fate. She actually allowed that man to touch her and who knew what God forsaken thoughts had passed through his head? Perhaps he even considered eating her. Her reasoning became a bit too extreme, Saya figured, and thus erased that last thought from the list. And yet, she went back on her change of heart, her father´s words resonating in her head. Just what exactly was she doing? The right thing to do would be letting her brother know of his location and help capture a ghoul, something she would never think of achieving and consequently, earn the respect of her family and friends. But currently, that was impossible because he had saved her. No matter how right or wrong her choice was, Saya could still not bring herself to forsake someone who had helped her. It was inhuman to kill someone who kept her alive and until she could find out the reason or the ´benefit´ as her father had put it, she was left to hang by a string, between her heart and her mind. To her left, the maid hurried to remove the offensive plate but was stopped for the second time that day. Saya dragged the plate to the front again, the stake looking less nauseating by the second and that had to mean she was doing something right.

"Leave it here. I´ll eat."

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For the past two days, Uta had been at the edge of his seat, waiting for Arima and his flock of doves to barge right into his studio and apprehend him, suspend his business and undeniably end his life on the spot. He had to admit, he had not been so worried over his existence lately; he had maintained a low profile and kept himself out of trouble, which was quite of a breather compared to the old days. His main focus had been his art studio and the occasional drink with Itori and Ren but apart from those two activities, not much was going on in his now peaceful life which was why he was slightly consternated about how quick his universe had been turned upside down by the mere cameo of a young girl.

Days passed and no dove showed up at his door demanding his execution. There was no sight of the girl's brother and he heard no rumors concerning his well-being. Nothing changed. Apparently.

In between precautions taken for concealing his lifestyle and lingering thoughts about her, Uta found himself working on her mask. A quick incursion in his memories reassured him that he would never see her again and completing her mask would be a waste of time yet, he still could not stay away from that page in his notebook, the design of the mask outrunning all the other masks he had created for previous clients. Her face was still fresh in his mind, disappointed in himself by how much he remained influenced by superficial aspects such as beauty and grace. However, above it all, it was something else that strummed his heart strings and that was her willingness to know the more private side of him. Indeed, that was before she found out what he truly was and a part of him wished she wouldn´t have ran away that time. Was he truly that terrible? Did she really think he was going to kill her too after having removed the one who would truly do so?

Uta shook his head, amazed by his selfishness. Instead of being grateful for being allowed a few more days on this earth he was mentally complaining about her reaction, one of obvious natural facture. What did he expect? For her to remove his goggles and place understanding hands on his face, letting him know that she did not care for trivial matters and that cannibal monsters were actually her thing? He chuckled, just imagining the scene and was certain that somewhere in Tokyo, Arima Kishou felt a shiver. How absurd everything was. Not only did he encounter the crown jewel of the Arima clan but he also fancied her to the point where plucking her out of his memory ceased to be an option. As a result, he needed to finish the mask. By the time that masterpiece would be completed, he would have forgotten all about her and hopefully, her face would fade into oblivion, never to be awoken again.

Uta applied one more crystal to the mask, raising it above his head to inspect any details he might have missed. If he worked continuously for the entire night, he would probably finish it and since sleep was not really on the agenda for the night, he mentally considered the project done. To his dismay, there was someone in his shop who had no intention of letting him pull an all-nighter for work purposes and as she leaned over his shoulder to take a better look at the mask, Itori´s eyes widened at the intricate design.

"Uta, this is stunning, you´ve outdone yourself! Who is this for?" She asked mischievously, suspicions about romance already nestling in her head. A mask of such finesse required an equally captivating owner and being an old witness to Uta´s prototypes till now, Itori could claim that it was the first time seeing such hard work for a mask. Judging from the feminine shape, it had to be for a woman and she had to be special.

"Well?" She nudged upon seeing him ignore her question, still using steady movements in applying a string of pearls. He finally gave in and took a short break from his crafting to answer her.

"It doesn´t matter. She won´t be able to come pick it up."

"Why? Is she dead?" Itori asked, her habit of comically assuming the worst kicking in. He glanced back at her, his eyebrows raised quizzically.

"Why would you think that? I´m past that stage in my life."

"Well, why else order a mask and not claim it?"

He went back to his work, but she shook him, demanding attention once again. Finally, he caved in, knowing she would not stop pestering him otherwise.

"Because she thought I was human and then she found out I am not."

"Is that so?" Itori nodded thoughtfully, Uta´s silent treatment finally explained. "You must be disappointed."

"Have you forgotten I am not as soft as I speak? I only saw her once, it´s not even worth mentioning."

She smiled secretly, knowing better. As private as that particular ghoul liked to be, Itori could always see right through him and Ren which was why the three of them could get along. Not worth mentioning but there he was, working on a dead project. It was obvious he was silently healing the incipient ache in his heart with what he had at his disposal.

"Sometimes, once is all it takes," she told him, not expecting him to almost make her swallow her words.

"To have your heart broken, you mean?"

Itori blinked slowly, bitter about remembering something painful.

"Maybe. But I still regret nothing, Uta."

He shouldn´t have said anything. The moment the words left his lips he felt remorseful for employing such impulsive behavior. After all, that tragic story between Itori and a human male was still current talk between common acquaintances. When they were younger, Itori disregarded useful advice and went ahead to fall in love with a certain lawyer she knew through some university colleague. Their happiness, short and ignorant, lasted until a fellow ghoul found out about the romance and preyed on her loved one in a dark, sullen ally. Needless to say, Itori was destroyed and ripping to shreds the murderer could not even begin to mend her heart. Luckily for her, she had Uta and Ren to fall back on and for that, she could never truly be mad at them, no matter their actions.

"Oh come now, don´t be so sad, there´s nothing to worry about. So, is she pretty? She is, isn´t she? You are one to like pretty things!"

He sighed, thankful to see her back to normal but not eager to answer her questions.

"Tell me!" The redhead insisted.

"No."

"Then how about this?" She tried again, not willing to give up just yet. "You go out drinking with me or else I´m not moving from here until you tell me everything about her."

"I know better than to trust in your deals, Itori."

"What other choice do you have?" And with that, she flopped in the nearby chair, proving that she was serious about spending the entire night at the studio. Truth be spoken, when Itori decided on something, she went through hell and back to see it accomplished. No other selection available, he forced himself to his feet, insecurely accepting her proposal. When she finally saw him standing, she glued herself onto his arm enthusiastically, dragging him towards the exit. His head remained turned towards the mask, Itori giggling at his childlessness.

"It´s not going anywhere, don´t be afraid. Now tell me, what´s her name?"

"I thought you said no questions."

"Maybe just five of them."

"No."

"Three?"

"Only two."

"It´s a deal! Ten it is!"

He allowed himself to be dragged away, faintly amused by how well she manipulated anyone into giving into her wishes.

"Do you have to be so persistent?"

"Always! Persistence is the key to success, Uta!" With that said, they both got engulfed by the outside darkness, Itori´s laughter blending into the city racket.

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**A/N:** Hello everyone, I hope you´re liking where this is going :) . I know this chapter did not have much of Saya and Uta together but I´m trying to make this story about something more than just "boy meets girl" and for that, I need to set up my plot pillars. I promise that the next chapter will have proper interaction between the two of them.

Thank you to all of the ones who are currently following my story and added it to their favorites and especially to the ones who reviewed it, I´m happy to get some love so please drop a line if you can.^^

And now, special thanks to my reviewers:

**detremental: **My first reviewer! Thank you so much for your interest in the fanfic, it really makes me happy to know that someone appreciates it to such an extent. He really is a contradicting character, isn´t he? He looks scary but he´s so soft-spoken and sadistically funny. I hope that you will continue reviewing and reading! **:)**

**Pheles-sama: **You´re right, not many stories about Uta. I thought the fanfiction base would be overflowing but it´s not the case. And I usually don´t like characters popping out of nowhere so everything has to be connected, which is why Saya is Arima´s sister. Thank you for your kind words, hope to see you here again soon!

**VictoriaPie: **Thank you for the praise, it´s not that easy keeping Uta in character, he seems someone who thinks about things a lot but doesn´t voice out everything that´s on his mind. We´ll just have to wait and see!

**Wiro: **Thanks, hopefully I´ll be able to keep things interesting for you so let me know how the rest goes *wink

**ohmyyato: **I figured that Saya being Arima´s sister would be the worst case scenario XD. A lot of drama and funny scenes will follow from now on so please step by again! Thanks for the review, it really makes me want to write more for all of you.

**Skydragon: **All is forgiven, the crude language is praising my story after all :P. Thank you so much! And since you like it so much, here´s chapter 2 for you.

**Kittyface2: **You´re amazing too for reviewing! The story will become more complicated from now on so please bear with it and enjoy it!

**Dawn: **Hello back, thank you! I´ll be looking forward to seeing you around here for the next chapters as well.

**Guest (1): **Thanks! Thanks! Thanks! Now that I´ve got you hooked, let´s see if I can reel you in! :)) You´re welcome here again!

**ira: **XD Hey, sometimes, death is necessary. Thank you for everything, Uta is really adorable!

**Guest (2) : **Many thanks, I´m so glad you like it! Let me know what you think about the next chapters.

**Eha1027: **I am actually planning on making it a long one, it takes time to develop characters and relationships. Please join me on this long journey. Thank you.^^


	3. In limbo

**Disclaimer**:** **I do not own Tokyo Ghoul. This story is purely fictional.

* * *

**Chapter 3: In limbo**

At the far back of an abandoned warehouse, a poker table hosted the tired silhouettes of two motionless ghouls, both doing their best at outsmarting the other in their game of cards. They kept looking ahead, their greasy fingers grasping their handful of cards, waiting for the other to either give a sign of weakness or close the game with a long-expected victory. They were both good at it, having won countless of rounds before but when facing against each other, they always felt that they had met their match, which was why the games lasted close to forever. One of them, a fat and pouty individual dwelled in tension, waiting for his boss to make a move. The boss, however, remained uninterested in advancing the round. Unable to withstand the silence any longer, the fat one humbly addressed his superior.

"I think it´s your turn, Boss."

"I know that, Susu-chan," he said calmly, not taking his eyes of the row of kings he so carefully collected in his hand. "Are you impatient?"

"No, Boss," Susuyama answered, lowering his head in obedience. He knew better than to anger that man.

"Good. Patience is really important but I was starting to run out of it myself with your late arrival, Yamada." At the sound of that, Susuyama´s head turned to his left, watching with interest how Yamada, one of his close comrades and an avid loyal to their boss, emerged from darkness. The brunette walked over to the table, his daft tone trying to turn apologetic.

"Sorry, Boss. It´s not that easy trying to find someone in this city. But I gave it my best shot."

"And?" The highest in rank prompted. "Did you find him?"

"Nope. He´s nowhere to be found. I think it´s safe to think Subaru´s dead."

He sighed, looking at his two underlings. Yamada was probably right, Subaru was not one to go missing for several days. Sure, a day or two was not uncommon but that limit had been crossed a while ago and the theory over him being dead was not that far-fetched. In their world, such things were not unusual. You could go out in the morning and fail to come back home if you were as unlucky as to come face to face with a vengeful dove. And not to mention the fact that Subaru was a punctual lad. Always. Years back, when they met for the first time, Subaru had been a cocky, rude bastard who thought he could overthrow him without proper effort, reason why he taught him a lesson of survival and with his kagune, he gave Subaru a scar across his face to remind him of his debility. After being taken under his wing, Subaru acquired deep respect for his newly-proclaimed boss and ran all types of errands for him without fail. He was not one to mourn the death of his comrades but Subaru had been useful. Unfortunately, that bastard chose to exhaust his usefulness precisely on the one time he was needed the most. His death came at the worst possible time.

"It´s a problem," Yamada took the words straight out of his mouth. "Who the hell are we gonna find to fill his place?"

"We can ask around," Susuyama suggested, not very sure about it.

"Don´t be stupid. On such short notice, no one´s gonna want to do it. We´re screwed."

He listened to his men argue about it, his own mind trying to come up with answers. Yamada was right, it was impossible to co-opt someone on such-short notice, not to mention they could not trust just anybody with the job. Subaru had to be the one to do it, he even got the van for the job. In the midst of his thinking, a sudden thought struck him.

"Yamada. Where was he last seen?"

"His trail stopped at HySy Art Mask Studio. That place belongs to Uta."

"No Face," the boss affirmed, at which Yamada nodded.

"That sucks," the other seated ghoul said. He shifted in his chair uncomfortably, having heard the rumors about the infamous No Face. A buddy of his had died a long time ago in a confrontation with him and since then, Susuyama had consciously stayed away from District Four. If possible, he would like to avoid any type of contact with that particular ghoul but the grin he spotted stretching dangerously on his boss´ face pointed out the contrary. He gulped and asked a question that had already been internally answered.

"What do we do, Boss?"

"Well, what else?" The man in question challenged, as he threw his hand of cards on the table. "We´ll just have to pay No Face a visit."

* * *

Morning had started well for Kaneki Ken. At exactly 8 am, he had opened the door to the Anteiku café, ready to receive the upcoming customers for the day. As per usual, he had tidied his uniform and sharply arranged his tie at his shirt collar while also tying the black apron around his waist in a secure, double knot. His shift, together with Nishiki and Touka, had never been once uneventful despite its already habitual aspect. No matter the task, Nishiki and Touka were always at each other´s throat, bickering away about things Kaneki could not be bothered to remember, as simplistic as they were. Be it the way Nishiki cleared out the tables or took a customer´s order, Touka constantly had something to correct.

"You´re not holding the tray properly, you´re going to drop it one day."

"I´m holding it just fine, stop complaining," Nishiki at times replied, not particularly interested.

"And stop slouching, you´re not setting a good example," she would often say.

"As if you´re standing any better, always pointing at me."

"And smile, Nishiki!"

"I´m smiling at the customers, aren´t I? It doesn´t mean I have to do it for you too."

"You´re forgetting who took you in, you bastard! Don´t mock Anteiku´s generosity," she preached, almost always followed by a slap at the back of his head.

Before he knew any better, Kaneki would intervene in their little conflicts and attempt of settling them down but instead, would end making matters worse and even receive a few physical warnings from Touka as well. It didn´t take long for him to understand that it was just the way Touka chose to get closer to them, having difficulties expressing her emotions properly. And so he kept his distance from the brawl and resorted to smiling compassionately to the customers whenever they had to witness one of such scenes. Little by little, he had gotten used to his new life at Anteiku, even going as far as entering a routine. His responsibilities included keeping the cups clean, serving cake and brewing his own coffee specialties for the customers. Even the darker side of living at Anteiku was now easier to bear; eating human flesh was still as horrifying as ever but having it originate from sources he did not personally had to kill made it a bit more sufferable. Not everything was perfect, though, his ghoul side never letting him take a break and perpetually trying to take over him but with the help of the friends he had found in that café, Kaneki could manage somehow. Indeed, he had to live in fear of investigators and other ghouls but not all was as black as it was in the beginning.

From the corner of his eye, Kaneki saw Nishiki approaching with a tray of dirty cups. He took the tray from him and began cleaning each. If there was something he liked the most about that café, it had to be the windows. They were wide and long and sunlight made its way inside easily, offering the place a cozy, warm atmosphere. You could see all the people passing through, unaware of the ghouls serving coffee on the premise. A flash of gold caught Kaneki´s attention and upon seeing the person pass by, he exclaimed in surprise, drawing Nishiki´s gaze to the window as well.

"Arima," Nishiki announced, having spotted the blonde at the last second.

Kaneki turned off the warm water and asked curiously.

"Do you know, Saya-san too, Nishiki-san?"

"Of course I do," he replied, his tone dropping a note and his eyes flashing offensively.

"I suppose you do. The three of us go to the same university and she did finish top of our group this year," Kaneki said, apparently figuring out the reason why they were all acquainted.

"That´s not the reason I know her."

"I…don´t understand, Nishiki-san."

Nishiki frowned, taking a better look at Kaneki. "They don´t tell you much, do they?" The taller ghoul asked, referring to the entire Anteiku team who found no urgency in informing Kaneki about all that was important in this new world he had so innocently stepped into. "Kaneki, have you ever heard of Arima Kishou?"

The younger boy took a few seconds to rack his brain for the name and when finding no connection he shook his head in denial. Half-expecting the answer, Nishiki sighed, wondering how to explain it in the best and shortest way. He cleared his throat and offered the explanation under Touka´s watchful eye.

"Listen, Kaneki. There are four important doves you should keep away from at all costs. They´re all part of the Special Unit and if you meet them in a dark alley, you can say your farewell prayers. They are Kuroiwa Iwao, Marude Itsuki, Shinohara Yukinori and last but not least, Arima Kishou. Arima is the prodigy of the team, also known as _The Reaper _and I suppose you might imagine for yourself why they call him that. "

Kaneki listened and by the time Nishiki finished, his mouth hanged in consternation as his brain absorbed the latest presented information. He took a step backwards, his head heavy with inquires.

"Nishiki-san….are you saying that Saya-san is…"

"Arima´s sister. Do you understand now?"

In his confusion, Kaneki grabbed Nishiki by the arm when he saw him leave his place by the sink, dark thoughts swirling and affecting his reason.

"You´re not planning on hurting her, are you, Nishiki? Please, Saya is off limits. She may be Arima´s sister but I´ve talked to her a few times, she´s not a bad person."

"As always, you´re so naive, Kaneki. It´s surprising you´ve made it this far, really," the ghoul in question remarked, a bit taken aback by his co-worker´s plea. It seemed Kaneki could still not remember he was no longer human and that in his current condition, his human friends could always turn into foes. "And let go of my hand, I won´t do anything. I was just going to attend that table over there. If anything should happen to her in this area, they would be raiding this place like crazy and erasing us all."

Relieved to hear him say that, Kaneki exhaled a long breath, releasing Nishiki´s arm. Positioned at the far end of the room, Touka planned to give them no break.

"Nishiki, table three!"

"I got it already! Irritating brat!"

As a sign of protest, he threw the washing cloth he was twirling around in the sink and headed toward the respective table, allowing time for Kaneki to calm his beating heart. He reacted without notice, on instinct. Knowing Nishiki, and more accurately, ghoul nature in general, even his close ones were unpredictable, therefore he was pleased with himself for biding time for Saya. How many other shocks were on their way to Kaneki´s brain? It was as if day after day, he uncovered secrets that could overthrow his life in a second and he could not find enough strength to deal with them accordingly.

Arima Saya. The sister of a highly dangerous investigator. Kaneki still couldn´t believe it. Both him and Saya attended the same Modern Literature class in university and had shared ideas about books from time to time. Due to her foreign looks, it was nearly impossible to get past the hoard of people flocking around her but in the comfort of their university´s library, he had the occasional talk with her, both of them bonding over various authors. He could not claim he knew much about her, but she had been kind to him and had bothered to discuss with someone as plain as him and for that he had been grateful and had deemed her a very open person. It was actually Saya who lent him ´The Black Goat´s Egg´ by Takatsuki Sen to read which he loved so much he bought his own copy to keep. _The book that started it all_, Kaneki realized ironically when remembering that if it wasn´t for that book, he wouldn´t have had the courage to talk to miss Rize. In fact, everything was ironic. Just yesterday, they were both simply university colleagues and now, he was a ghoul and she was, well, the sister of the one who could execute him. Kaneki wondered if she would continue being that nice to him if knowing what he truly was and chose to ignore the answer. It was not fair for her to be dragged into this world, even if she had to be in it due to her brother. He had been dragged into this world as well, without asking for anything and he was certain Saya wanted to stay away from it all too. He only prayed that she would never have to learn what he hid inside, like many others who lived in fear and darkness.

* * *

She had been aimlessly wandering off the streets for the past thirty minutes before she realized that her steps were taking her no place specific. When Saya came to her senses, she had just passed a café in an unfamiliar district.

_Where am I?_ She asked herself, scanning the place carefully. When she failed recognizing at least one element of the street, she headed for the nearby cab she spotted earlier. She jumped in, stated her destination and allowed herself to be taken there while mulling over overthought solutions to her problems. Wasn´t there a saying that stated ´time heals everything´? It did help with overcoming her anxiety about the brutal murder she had experienced but while that aided with easing her shock over it and diminished the instances in which she jumped at every knock on her door, it also made her more conscious of that man, explicitly of that ghoul named Uta. His face was still so fresh in her mind, haunting her with his soft voice and gentle touch that tiredly kept her awake each night since the incident. She needed to see him. She needed to ask him questions and just talk to him, find a way to cope with everything, yet the moment the cab dropped her in front of his studio, her conviction was far from solid.

"What an imbecilic thing to do," she voiced out to herself, still not understanding the forces that drove her back to that place of peril. There was no guarantee he would save her again if, for instance, the studio was now swarming with ghouls but she could not stand sitting at home, pestered by the haunting image of him, playing over and over again in her head. Today, she had to put an end to that cycle. Now or never and so her fingers grasped onto the door´s handle and pulled it open, to reveal a very calm Uta with his arms crossed at his chest, as if waiting for her exclusively. She gaped at him, her heart skipping a beat, clearly not expecting to stand face to face with him in the doorframe.

"Did you…did you know I was coming?"

"Ghouls have privileged senses. In a way, I did," he responded, his soothing voice filling her ears with familiar thirst. He was just as she remembered; tall, intimidating and highly captivating. This time, he was not wearing any goggles, which was why she could see his red eyes in full daylight, expressing no lesser emotions than those of humans. "And indeed, what you´re doing is unwise," Uta added, replacing her earlier adjective with a kinder one, proving that he had heard her talk outside the door. "What are you doing here?"

Her mind searched for the proper answer immediately. "I´m here for my mask. Do you have any other customers?" She asked, looking past his shoulders inside the studio, seeing if she could spot anyone inside.

"No, not until later in the afternoon."

"Then it´s safe now," she concluded, at which he titled his head.

"If that´s how you see it."

It felt as if he was playing with her, subtly trying to see which buttons he could push, what limits he could make her cross, which was a very obnoxious course of action for him, giving the sincerity she brought with herself especially for this reunion. She was not about to let him take control of the whole situation and therefore gently pushed him from the doorway enough to enter the studio on her own. Uta allowed her to enter, much to his curiosity´s qualms. Finally inside, Saya went near a row of unfamiliar masks in hopes of identifying her own, leaving Uta no other option but to close the door and join her further in his shop. As a measure of precaution, he locked the door to prevent any other unexpected guests that would require immediate assassination.

"Well? Is it ready?" Uta heard her say and fairly assumed she was referring to her mask. Without further ado, he walked over to a concealed stand and removed the covering sheet. Saya´s mask was thus ceremoniously revealed, her breath sucked out of her chest at the sight of it. The mask, a composition of white and gold, had rays of sun emerging from the right brow section, the entire piece covering only the eyes portion, leaving the rest of the owner´s skin to show through. Rows of crystals gathered under the cheeks, contouring their way down to the mouth and from the sides, stands of pearls were falling down asymmetrically, resembling rivers of tears. It was, by far, the most beautiful thing Saya had ever seen in her life. She got closer to it, her hands reaching out shyly, almost afraid to touch it. She took it in her palms and breathed out:

"Thank you. It´s absolutely wonderful."

The smile she graced him with had suddenly began to worth all the sleepless nights he had spent working away at it, crafting and perfecting something that, now seeing in completed form, could still not amount to her radiance.

"How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing. You can take it in exchange for scaring you," Uta offered, going to sit in the farthest corner of the room.

Saya frowned, bringing the mask closer to her chest, nearly displeased with the arrangement. "You didn´t scare me, " she lied, concocting her own method of repayment. "And I can´t accept it like this. Maybe I can take you out to an art gallery, some place neutral, you can pick," she suggested, hoping to hear an affirmative answer. The gods were not on her side that day though, for Uta was not planning to give in that easily.

"That is not a very good idea. I will have to refuse."

"It´s just admiring some crafts and we don´t have to stay long…"

"I hope you haven´t forgotten what I am and what you are to me," he interrupted her, reminding Saya their positions. Her frown deepened, her fist tightened. She did not think she would experience such outward rejection.

"How could I forget?" Only she knew how much distress she experienced each night after the incident, having trouble sleeping and eating and even talking to others but eventually, she had built up the courage to return to her place of torture in search for some sort of inexplicable peace. "But you can´t cut me off just because we…"

_Are predator and prey? Are meant to run away from each other? Are two opposite species?_ Uta mentally filled in her sentence with all the sensible choices.

"…have a completely different diet!" She finished in frustration, bringing Uta to the edge of hilarity. He choked back a laugh, amazed by her ability to bring humor in an issue so serious. Without doubt, he was probably never going to meet someone like her for as long as he would live; pretty, stupidly brave and too kind for her own good. He felt a sinner just by looking at her. It was already too much having her return to his studio, blessed with the opportunity to see the young woman again. He fancied her, he finally admitted it to himself, and he wanted her alive. For that to stay a fact, he had to keep her as far away as possible from him.

"I´m sorry Arima-san, but it´s impossible for us to meet up from now on. Especially giving who you are."

Whether she agreed to it or not, she continued her trials of winning him over. "You mean because I am his sister? I haven´t even told my brother anything, isn´t this proof of my trust?"

"It´s too early to talk about trust, miss. In our situation, you being investigator Arima´s sister will surely facilitate betrayal in the future."

"I would never…"

"To be more frank," Uta raised his voice to cover hers, "you will never be anything else than food to me, miss."

He underestimated her reaction. He never thought his words would have such devastating effect on her serene face. All of a sudden, her grey eyes turned sad, rivaling with the melancholic motif of her mask.

"Then why did you save me?"

Hearing the inquiry, Uta did not move an inch, apparently not fazed by the question. As a reply, he counteracted with his own curiosity.

"Why are you really here, miss?"

As a response, she also remained motionless yet her lips pressed together tightly, as if afraid words would uncontrollably escape her lips.

He sighed, realizing that everything which was about to start was currently running to its end. "It seems these two questions are to remain unanswered."

Would she start crying? She did look oh so fragile and there was certainly tension in the room. Uta could cut it with a knife. Completely out of the blue, Saya exploded. She had surprised him yet again as she charged over to his table and slammed her purse on the wooden surface, angrily rummaging for something in particular. A few seconds of searching later, the young woman extracted a wallet.

"If this is how you want it then fine, but I´ll pay for the mask like any regular customer would." She finally opened her wallet, disappointed by its poor contents.

"Do you take credit cards?" She asked but upon seeing his bemused expression she replied in his stead. "Of course you don´t." Not much to count on, she eventually took out the few dollar bills and change she had stuffed inside when an idea occurred to her. Her hand went to her ear to remove one of the earrings she had received for her birthday from Kishou and felt immense satisfaction placing it in front of Uta. The ghoul took it between his thumb and index finger, oddly inspecting it.

"That´s a real diamond, I guess it covers all costs," she proclaimed.

"Just one?"…

"It´s very unlikely I lose both of them, right?" She replied, the explanation she would have to give her brother about the missing pair evidently at the ready.

He placed the valuable jewel down intent on returning it when her voice faded into a whisper.

"I shouldn´t have come here." It was all a big mistake and the only thing she could do about it was just gaze at him. The more Saya looked at him, the more human and inhuman he appeared to her and yet she could not take her eyes off him. She then understood it was going to be the last time to see him and so she took in as much as she could from him, memorizing the shade of his hair, the way his shoulders were always leaned forward, his expression and his tone. It still wasn´t enough. And the worst part about it was that he did not seem to be as affected by their circumstances as deeply as she was.

Saya spared him any departing words and made her way to the exit as fast as she could, the heels she wore resonating loudly on her way out of the studio. Outside, bathed in daylight, Saya reorganized her thoughts, focusing on the little inner strength she had left. She hadn´t expected much but she hadn´t been prepared for less either. She glanced down at her mask, unsure about how to handle everything. The only thing for sure was that after the fund raise party would be over, she would take that mask and lock it away along with all her corrupted thoughts about him.

* * *

"I can´t believe you followed me here! Did you really think I was going to tear her apart in plain daylight?" Nishiki demanded of Kaneki incredulously. Both men were crouched on the ground and watching the entrance to Uta´s Art shop from behind a corner. "You could have at least shared the cab fare."

"I´m sorry, Nishiki-san but I was in such a hurry I forgot my wallet at the café," Kaneki apologized. "And you went out after her despite saying you wouldn´t. I couldn´t help but worry."

"Well anyone would be curious to investigate if seeing an Arima in the neighborhood," he said, justifying his actions. They followed her a while but after spotting her call for a cab, Nishki instinctively signed for their own and made the driver tail its yellow comrade. "And with good reason too! What is that woman doing in Uta´s studio?"

"I have no idea," Kaneki sincerely replied, concerned with Saya-san´s well-being. Did she know Uta? Did she even know what he was? Either way, matters were not going to end well judging by the murderous glare Touka send their way when she saw them leave the café unannounced. Blood-thirsty war was waiting for them back home and Kaneki was wondering who he should be more worried about, him or Saya-san. They witnessed her ascend the stairs to the main street and had been so concentrated on her actions that the sudden sneaky hand puncturing their shoulders caught them entirely by surprise.

Nishiki nearly jumped out of his own skin, reaction mirrored by Kaneki, both males turning to stare into the mischievous face of Itori.

"Damn it, Itori! You scared the hell out of me!"

"Itori-san…" Kaneki trailed off, his verbal instinct less offensive.

"What are you two doing here?" She asked suspiciously. "Are you out hunting humans?" Itori assumed, her excitement visible on her face as she squashed Nishiki´s forehead to lean in and get a better look at who they were watching. Her eyes fell on Saya but then moved on the mask she was holding in her hands before stuffing it in her purse and hailing for another cab and the female ghoul let out a shout of discovery. Panic conjured Nishki, his hands already at the redhead´s mouth, muffling down any other unnecessary sounds.

"Shut up, you stupid woman! Do you want her to hear you?"

She bit down on his hand, eliciting a scream from Nishki. "Don´t be silly, humans have such bad hearing. No offense, Kaneki."

"None taken," Kaneki reassured, confused by the exchange of insults and physical warnings.

"Aw, too bad, she´s leaving. I really wanted to talk to her," Itori whined, the three of them watching her mount in a cab.

Nishiki shoved her away from him, tired of supporting her weight on his shoulder. _This woman, always doing as she pleases_. "About what?"

"Many things. Uta tells me she´s lovely to be around. She´s his girlfriend, you know?" Itori winked to Kaneki whose expression was somewhere between shock and perplexity at the sound of that revelation. Nishiki, on a wiser note, withheld from jumping to the same conclusion.

"Do you even know what you´re saying? Don´t trust her, Kaneki. She likes to exaggerate."

"No need to worry, I´ll tell you alllllllll about it," Itori happily prepared the ground for a long recounting of Uta´s first meeting with Saya when her smile suddenly vanished. Nishiki sensed something was wrong at once and so turned to look in the direction Itori was now staring, Kaneki diligently following his example. There were three ghouls lurking around Uta´s studio, only two recognizable to Nishki. One was Hamasaki, the leader of a small resistance group that lived to terrorize everyone in District Five and the other, if he remembered correctly, was Yamada, Hamasaki´s right-hand man. As for the third one, neither Nishki nor Itori could pinpoint their identity yet, Hamasaki alone was enough to induce a state of alert among the ghouls at Kaneki´s side.

"What´s Hamasaki doing here?" Nishki asked, looking over to Itori.

"Nothing of praise."

For his own good, Kaneki decided to stay out of that one, not liking Itori´s implication any bit. That day could not get any stranger; he had just found out a colleague of his was the sister of their sworn enemy, that sister just stepped out of Uta´s crafting sanctuary and three other dangerous ghouls were sneaking around said ghoul´s working place, stirring up trouble. Would he ever catch a break, he wondered. Probably not.

* * *

**A/N:** Hello again, everyone! Did you see the latest (last?) episode of Tokyo Ghoul? Kaneki was epic *_*. I don´t actually follow the manga but I have been spoiled and since I have, I went ahead and read the ending and I was satisfied. I know a lot of people hate it but I think it was pretty realistic, sometimes life doesn´t give you what you want and good people are actually bad. I guess it was my kind of ending? XD Anyways, there were some things that surprised me but that are actually going to fit right in with this fanfiction so hope you´ll stick around to see exactly how. I´ll go back to properly reading the manga after I post this to make sure everything is well-arranged. By the way, as you have probably noticed, Saya meets Uta around the time Kaneki joins Anteiku and it all flows on from there.

Thank you so much for the follows and favorites, you guys! You are the best!

**For my reviewers:**

**pain1516:** Hello there and thank you for your support!^^ I´m glad you enjoyed the Uta and Itori bonding, they´re really funny together. And yes, that line was especially for him, this is just how I see this character. Polite but sooooo scary if you dare mess with him. He will continue appearing in the fic, he´s actually very crucial to the entire plot so hope that works for you!

**detrametal:** It´s so nice to see you again, thanks so much for posting another comment, this really encourages me :). To me, Kishou is a great character with plenty of potential. I loved him the second (literally the one second they showed him for in the entire anime -_-) I saw him. Itori is going to show up in other chapters as well and there will be lots of opportunities for her to be evil, heheh.

**Guest:** Believe me, I was happy to see you come back to this and read the newly posted chapter as well! Thank you for your praising words, I will do my best to entertain you with even more chapters so let me know you´re still here with me. Let´s keep rooting for those two!

**sherlaylay:** I´m glad you like this fanfiction and the way it started off. I usually update on Thursdays or on Fridays so I hope to see you here again. I really wanted to get into Uta´s head with this story and I´m starting to get the hang of it but the guy is just really enigmatic. XD

**Cyleana:** Aw, you dream anime? That´s so lucky, I never remember my dreams and when I do they´re about such boring things :(. But hey, it was fate to dream about Uta and stumble across my story and I´m really grateful you did! I also want to keep the story a bit realistic so I want them to have some trouble, real life is not that easy! Plus, a relationship like there is extremely forbidden which is why it´s so fun to write and the characters will have to work for it. See you next chapter?

**Kirschflower:** Thank you! Since the response to this story is so positive, I will certainly write more. Visit me again!

**SI:** You are quite right my dear reader, a lot of interesting pairings in the world of fanfiction yet I can only thank you for giving this one a shot even though Uta is not really a favorite. I hope to win you over with the plot, the unexpected twists and the character development so please stay tuned and let me know what you think from now on as well! :)

**VictoriaPie:** It´s not that easy keeping Uta in character since he doesn´t seem to have a stable, definite one but I´m working towards it. Saya is alright, not really strong since she´s always been protected by her family but Uta is exactly what she needs at the moment and the same goes for him. He needs a half-German beauty to mess up his priorities :)).

**Ethereal Wonders:** Hello and thank you! It´s a relief to hear you like Saya, OCs are such a pain to write, you have to know exactly what kind of person would fit in the story.

**Megohime of Mutsu:** Alas, the wait is over! Thank you for your love, I shall cherish is dearly! Please continue reading and letting me know your impressions, it´s very motivating for me.


	4. Hidden truth

**Disclaimer**:** **I do not own Tokyo Ghoul. This story is purely fictional.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Hidden truth**

It was unusual for him to wallow in longing. He never gave anything or anyone a second thought once he had decided to extract them from his mind but it appeared Uta had a slight problem with repeating the process this time around. Minutes passed but his gaze remained locked on the glass stand that had previously protected the girl´s mask, subconsciously recalling how alive he felt just by having her near. It took someone like her to erase their identities of ghoul and human and render everything to the sole concept of a person interested in another person.

"She took you away," Uta whispered, himself unsure of whether he referred to the mask or the little self-control he had left whenever she was near. "I don´t even know which one of you I want more," he continued, his fingers lightly tracing on the cold surface of glass. An image flashed in his head of Saya preserved in a glass container, her eyes closed and serene and his forever, without any risk of losing one another. But if such were the case, her eyes would never light up at the sight of him nor treat him like any human man who could not hurt her in ways she could never imagine and that would be pointless. He liked her alive and breathing and above all, senselessly fascinated with him and he was imprudently beginning to resemble her. Such twisted hobbies did not truly suit him and pushing the image out of his head, quickly attributed it to someone more degenerate, like the Gourmet of the seventh district. If it were any other ghoul, Uta would have had matters figured out by now but with humans, you always had to be careful, specifically with that highly-educated girl whose entire demeanor was nothing less than prim and proper. He mentally congratulated himself for keeping his distance despite the impulsive notions that ran wildly through his head whenever she spoke to him. He did not know for sure but whether it was the way she looked at him, or the thrill of rapturing a human to that extent or even the vanity of corrupting Arima´s precious sister or better yet, all combined, Uta had a feeling the next time he would see her, he would not be able to refrain his intention of plunging at her invitation as smoothly as he did today. Her scent still lingered in his studio, giving off the impression she was still there, which was why when the entrance door opened again, Uta almost thought it was her. Hoping the disappointment was visible on his face enough to drive away the three men barging in uninvited, the mask crafter regarded the three intruders.

"Hey there, Uta-san! Long time no see," a brunette ghoul whom Uta recognized to be one going by the name of Yamada greeted in fake cheer. His interest shifted on the other two ghouls accompanying him, a bitter taste sneaking in his mouth as the sight of Hamasaki. That ghoul was nothing but trouble. He even considered ripping them to shreds to avoid Hamasaki´s dirty business being dragged in his studio but nevertheless, it seemed a little bit too late.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Hamasaki-san? A mask perhaps?" Uta suggested, careful to let him know that whatever dangerous affairs he had been involved earlier in his youth were now a matter of the past. Hamasaki grinned, taking a seat on Uta´s chair, his legs crossed in defiance.

"Yes, actually. A buddy of mine Subaru asked me to come get his mask," Hamasaki said, eyes glued on Uta and attentive for the slightest reaction. An expert at controlling his emotions, Uta gave the older ghoul no satisfaction, sounding as nonchalant as ever.

"I´m sorry to say this Hamasaki-san but Subaru-san retrieved his mask a few days ago. You have wasted your time for nothing."

"Is that so? Well we hadn´t heard from him in a while and my sources state this was the last place he visited before he disappeared. Care to share anything with us, Uta?"

"I have no idea what you´re talking about, Hamasaki-san. Maybe you should check with your sources again."

At his side, Susuyama grunted annoyed while Yamada shifted his weight from one leg to another, fed up with the pretending game. Hamasaki though, loved games and especially with entertaining opponents such as the ghoul in front of him. It was fun playing with _No Face_. He was aware of Uta´s brute strength and agility, having experienced some brawls with his group in the past and it was actually unexpected to see that cold-hearted savage resort to manipulation. He was more refined in his speech now, careful with what he gave away and reserved in attitude. Somehow, that expressionless face of his got on his nerves a lot more than any sign of overconfidence or smug assurance. They could spend the entire day beating around the bush, Hamasaki concluded, but time was of the essence and play hour was over.

"Let me put this clearly for you, No Face. We know you killed him. Whether it was to cannibalize him or because of his loud, rude mouth which I can honestly vouch for, either way, you caused me great trouble."

Uta raised his eyebrows, feigning affront.

"I did kill him but I did not eat him, I am hardly fond of ghoul flesh. However, I took him in the backroom, cut him into small pieces and sold him to desiring comrades. Acquired a good price on him too. May I interest you in a small percentage?"

"You bastard!"`The fat one snapped in rage, his kakugan activated. Hamasaki raised a hand to halt his underling, apparently not revolted by Uta´s confession. There was no need to ruin everything.

"No, thank you. It can´t be helped then."

"He was very impolite to one of my customers."

"Subaru was your customer too," Hamasaki reminded him.

"Not a very good one," Uta replied.

"Still, he was one of my men and his death changes some things. But don´t worry, we can fix this, I already thought of a solution," Hamasaki said, his grin expanding from one corner of his mouth to another, announcing his initial intention for visiting the studio. "Since you´re the one who inconvenienced us, you´ll just have to take his place."

Uta took a few moments to examine the three ghouls, the idea of getting rid of them on the spot sounding more appealing by the second. It wouldn´t even take long and for two of them, his kagune needn´t have to come out. Also in the examination process, Hamasaki took Uta´s silence as a queue to go on with his proposal.

"We´re planning to crash a party this end of the week but we need a driver on stand to help us with the getaway part of the operation. Subaru was our driver and you killed him, hence this is where your part begins."

But if he were to murder them he would increase the number of kills per month and that would ruin the pacifist role he had been trying to grow into since opening his mask studio. Who knew Subaru could be more problematic dead than alive? Uta pondered away while Hamasaki went on with his babbling.

"It´s nothing complicated, you just have to wait in the car and we´ll deal with the slaughter."

Ah, in the end he could claim self-defense, the ghouls would die in his studio after all but there was the question of reputation and an unsafe perimeter could possibly affect his business.

"And if you´re a nice boy," Yamada butted in, enthusiasm prickling at his skin, "we´ll save you a piece of Marude and Arima."

Uta´s chain of thoughts suddenly broke off.

"Arima?" Uta uselessly attempted to confirm.

"Oh? Is your interest piqued?" Hamasaki delivered as answer, not expecting for this arrangement to flow easier than scheduled.

"Let´s just say I have some unfinished business with Arima."

"Well, you´re in luck. The Arima family is the one organizing the fund raising for whatever noble cause they´re supporting and from what I heard, it´s a masquerade ball so we´ll fit right in," Hamasaki supplied, ignorant to the fact that Uta´s gaze was darkening from completely different reasons than the ones he assumed.

_Masquerade ball? Didn´t she say she had an event around this period? Is this the one she needs the mask for? _Uta questioned himself internally, a carousel of possibilities and outcomes spinning in his head. _That means she´ll be there._

"So are you in?" Yamada demanded.

"I don´t see why not," came Uta´s response, careful not to sound too ominous.

"Good. Here´s the key to the van, we parked it outside, Hamasaki said, placing a car key on the table, beside Uta´s brand new sketchbook. "We´ll call you later for the rest of the details," the ghoul informed standing to his feet. Before heading out, his paranoid self took the best of him. He scolded his expression into something more feral and warned Uta in a matching voice. "If you change your mind, you can say goodbye to this little craft shop of yours and more."

Hamasaki finally detached himself from Uta´s side and went to join his two men outside with slow, heavy footsteps. Instinctively, Uta grabbed the key and leaning on his desk, began twirling it between his fingers, thus bettering his concentration. Maybe he should not fret, her brother was going to be there to protect her and yet, with humans, you never knew; one wrong step and everything would be over. That was the main issue with humans, gentleness was required and once you got involved with one, everything around them became hazardous. It was a good chance to see her again though.

He threw the key in a drawer and sighing, returned to his sketching, kicking the Hamasaki infected chair out of his way. Maybe it was for the best, he did have to dispose of those bothersome ghouls and the location wouldn´t have to matter, Uta reasoned with the purpose of convincing himself he was not doing it for the sake of one human girl.

* * *

A cold swift breeze fluttered the pages of Saya´s study book bringing it two chapters back from her initial read. She tsked and tried to flip the pages to the initial chapter, having trouble remembering which one it was. In the end she gave up and closed the book, pushing it to her left and bringing her sketch book closer, pen back to its drawing routine. She was supposed to study but the classroom was too loud and so she moved to the library but when even that proved to be too quiet, she opted for the outside benches in the university campus. Clearly, location was not the problem. She had too much on her mind and the only thing that could reorganize her thoughts had to be sketching. Doodling away dresses worked to ease her worries, for the first ten minutes at least, but after that, her demons invaded her brain, almost daring her to stop thinking about what had happened the previous day.

Saya hadn´t been particularly unlucky when it came to dating. She had had her share of admirers and had experienced love but if truth be told, she had never expected such outward rejection. Ghouls were monsters, brutal, but that particular one hadn´t stricken her as heartless and she had hurried in her judgment of believing he would react like the rest of the male population, simply happy to profit from the attention of a young woman. As it turned out, that Uta person was immune to her charms, dismissing even the slightest of connections to her and who could blame him? She was a human with no sense of danger it seemed and if that wasn´t enough to spell disaster for whatever foolish delusion she had about the two of them, she was also a special investigator´s sister. For a second there, she regretted being related to Kishou and that never happened before, even in cases more drastic than the one at hand.

_Saya is top of her class in high school? Well that´s to be expected of Kishou´s sister._

_She can draw and play the violin? No wonder she´s related to Arima Kishou-san!_

_And what lovely manners, it absolutely runs in the family!_

All those whispers around her and she never once felt resentful towards her brother, in fact she felt grateful about it, downright proud to be Kishou´s little sister. But there came Uta and made her realize that her little world did not resume to humans only and that she could actually feel something towards someone she should never consider even in a million years. That man could be killing someone for lunch at that very moment and despite it, she was absorbed in her disappointment, in her bruised ego and especially in her spontaneous need to be near someone who could make her overlook his nature.

_Wake up, Saya! What is wrong with you? He eats people. He preys on them, tears them apart and eats them. But even so, he saved me, didn´t he?_

She grunted, realizing there was no winning with herself. She gave up on her sketchbook as well and stacking it on top of her other books, Saya intended to wrap everything up and go home when her instinct informed her someone was staring in her direction. Across the alley of trees, a young woman waved at her. Saya´s eyebrows furrowed, falling short of recognizing the person even as she got closer to her. Reaching the table, she sat down on the bench uninvited, her palms rising to support her chin.

"Hello," she said pleasantly.

"Hello," Saya responded, still on to the task of attributing a name to her face. The woman continued speaking in the same pleasant manner, fixing Saya with her piercing gaze, going beyond the norms of passive introduction. She voted for prudency, her upbringing in a family of investigators accounting for it.

"My name is Itori, I´m a friend of Uta´s."

If only her emotions could be that easily kept in check. Some surprise must have escaped on her face because she saw the other woman grin, as if expecting that particular reaction after adding the name ´Uta´ to the equation. Saya gulped down her anxiety, voicing out the first question that popped into her mind.

"Are you a…"

"Ghoul? Yep!" Itori gave the straight answer.

_As expected_, Saya thought. She regarded the woman carefully. The fact that she claimed to know Uta did not necessarily mean Saya was out of harm´s way which was why the girl chose to remain high-strung until the opposite would be proven.

"Can I help you, then?"

"Not per say. I actually came to see you, it´s not every day that Uta gets interested in a human girl."

"And?"

"I´m glad I came to look for you. Hey… wouldn´t you like to know more about Uta?"

"Yes, but not here," Saya responded quickly, distracted by the university students eyeing the both of them.

"I know somewhere we could go and talk in peace.

"Maybe I should choose the place," Saya ordered.

"Smart girl."

"What can I say? It runs in the family."

They walked in silence for a short while till they reached the placed designated by Itori. Despite her initial dismissal, Saya had allowed Itori to choose the place after having assured her they would board no trains nor strange cars and they would remain in the safety of the 20th district. They stopped in front of a café and before Itori had the chance to pull the door open, Saya took out her cellphone.

"Hello? Maya?" Saya addressed one of her maids at the other end. "Please tell me father and brother I´ll be late today, I´m currently in district 20 at a café called Anteiku. With a friend, yes. Thank you." She hung up afterwards, redirecting her attention towards Itori. "Just a measure of precaution, I´m sure you understand."

Itori simply smiled, opening the door for Saya to pass through and first-handedly take in the warm, welcoming atmosphere of the café shop. She inspected the place at her leisure, appreciating the wood accents and French style tables populating the floor. The glasses and tableware glistened in cleanliness, suitable for even the finest of taste. Moreover, the staff was sharply-attired, with matching vests and ties, conferring the shop the right amount of elegance. Her scrutiny came to an end as soon as she noticed a familiar face behind the counter.

"Ken-san!" Saya exclaimed. "I didn´t know you worked here."

"Ah, yes. It´s just a part-time job, though. A lot of things happened and I eventually joined Anteiku. Are you here for some coffee, Saya-san?" Kaneki asked, highly conscious of Itori being in Saya´s presence.

"That´s right," she answered while taking a seat in front of her companion. "I´ll let you chose my order. If your taste in coffee is the same as your taste in books then I will have no complaints," she praised. For herself, Itori ordered an espresso, no sugar, no milk.

"What is she doing here?" Touka asked no one in particular, Nishiki wondering the same thing.

A few minutes later, Kaneki materialized next to them with two cups of coffee. Preferring her coffee hot, Itori inhaled its freshly-ground aroma and took a sip. She was very enticing, that woman, Saya observed. Long, silky hair, down-casted eyes that perpetuated seduction, full lips and fingers that would fit just right in a lucky man´s hand. The words left her lips before she even had the chance to filter them:

"You´re more to Uta than just a friend, aren´t you?"

Itori blinked surprised, impressed by the other woman´s intuitive skills.

"If you had asked me this question years back, I would have said yes. Currently, it´s not the case, we´re just good friends. But don´t worry, to ghouls, relationships don´t mean as much as they do to humans."

Saya felt her hear sting with what she vehemently denied to be jealousy. In response, she placed her cup of coffee down, launching her own offensive.

"Is that why you asked me to come here with you? So that you can tell me not to expect much from him?"

"Just friendly advice. Uta is my friend and he got involved with a very troublesome human woman. It´s my duty to protect him."

"Protect him? From me?"

"You know what I mean. He´s risked a lot just by letting you in his studio. "

"As I have by returning to it."

"Through your own volition and exposing him to more danger. It´s only fair of me to verify your intentions."

"I thought we were supposed to talk about him not me."

"Ara, we´re talking about the both of you, aren´t we?"

"Itori-san. What is it that you want from me?"

She had enough of the cat and mouse game.

"To thread carefully."

That last line had planted Saya even further in the maze. It was difficult reading between the lines of someone who up till now had delivered each sentence in a jovial manner just to conclude the serious aspect of their conversation in that one instruction.

"It doesn´t matter anymore," Saya spoke. He had made it clear they were not to meet again and as it appeared to be, the redhead hadn´t been informed of that yet or else they wouldn´t be having that conversation.

Despite her burning interest, Itori decided not to pursue the issue anymore. She focused on ordinary topics namely hobbies and food until the conversation escalated to more challenging matters such as life plans, secrets and childhood memories. The redhead had just finished giggling about a story Saya told her about how her father had come to pick her up even on the last day of high school, his over-protective character surging through her pleas of ceasing with embarrassing her when Kaneki drew near them, intent on clearing the table.

"Even a ghoul like me can relate to having family members embarrass you," Itori said, watching Saya look in Kaneki´s direction uneasily.

"Don´t worry, don´t worry, Kaneki-kun is a ghoul as well," Itori revealed in a good mood. Kaneki paralyzed with the tray in his hands, the other ghouls behind him halting their actions and glancing to Saya who looked as if she couldn´t digest the words well.

"Excuse-me, what did you say?" Saya´s voice sounded strangled, foreign even to her own ears. She could sense the young man holding his breath besides her, betraying the truth of his nature and, in that moment, she hated Itori for crumbling her safe place. If possible, she wished to turn back time and erase the knowledge of that truth but life persisted in striking her down once more, Itori´s words amounting to the perfect accompanying lullaby.

"Oh, you didn´t know…" the redhead trailed off, her body language expressing no remorse. "Maybe I should get going, we talked enough for today. It was nice meeting you, Saya.," Itori chanted halfway through the exit. Silence loomed for a while in the café, neither soul daring to take the first step in dispelling the trance. Footsteps reverberated on the wooden floor as Touka and Nishiki got closer to the café manager, both preparing for the worse. Only Yoshimura remained serene, almost anticipating the reactions of the one who now held their life in her hands and vice versa. He had been attentive to Saya and Itori´s conversation and had noted the small details concerning the young Arima, details that spoke loudly of her prudence. Unwilling to put up with the lack of participation anymore, Saya addressed Kaneki.

"Have a seat, Kaneki-san."

Kaneki flinched, panic clawing its way up to his heart. Upon waking up that morning, Kaneki would have never imagined his ghoul identity to be revealed to a human, nevertheless one as critical as Saya. He gulped down his anxiety, doing his best at delivering a steady reply.

"I´m sorry, Saya-san, waiters aren´t allowed to sit with customers."

"Please."

How authoritarian her voice sounded, in all its gentleness and femininity. She did have that talent of bringing an entire room to awareness, mainly when she read book fragments during their common classes together, Kaneki could recall it precisely. Saya had a certain way in which she emphasized specific words that convinced Kaneki she read literature with the utmost depth and esteem - facts which could prove blissful in a conversation with a fellow bibliophile. In that tête-à-tête they were as of now engaging, Kaneki was not so certain he would grace her with the same privilege. He had to at least try.

"Saya-san, I…"

"It´s Arima-san," she corrected him, making Kaneki realized she had dropped the familiar use of his first name in favor of his last one. She elected distance as a shield against him and he felt he deserved it completely.

"Yes," Kaneki agreed, unable to bring himself to look Saya in the eye.

Various matters broke Saya´s heart. Just minutes ago she was wondering about what dress to wear for the event tomorrow or struggling to get over her insignificant affection for Uta when pressing issued were converging into tragedies. She felt cheated and betrayed by everyone around her. What certainty could she have about the next person she would meet on the street? Human? Ghoul? She had none. She almost felt sorry for Kaneki, the boy appeared to take the truth harder than she did when in reality, it had to be the other way around but at the same time, she remembered he was a ghoul and therefore not to be attributed with human emotions if she were to trust Itori. In an act of self-preservation, Saya draped her arms around her protectively, holding on to the last shred of courage she had left.

"I did not expect you to inform me about yourself since we are not really friends but…we´re not exactly strangers either," she began. "I can´t help wonder…did you enjoy pretending to be human with me, Kaneki-kun? Did you ever imagine dragging me to the far end of the library and eating my heart out?"

Kaneki´s head snapped upwards at once, his eyes searching for hers, dismayed, afraid.

"Arima-san, I beg you, I would never. I was born human, Arima-san. I became a ghoul not long ago, someone did this to me!"

She frowned, confused. In his frenzy, Kaneki sounded disoriented.

"Why would anyone do this to you?"

She clearly did not believe him nor comprehend the process needed for such a transformation to occur, Kaneki understood. It would take a completely different perspective for someone to experience what he was going through and her reticence was to be expected.

"You have to believe me, Arima-san. It has been terrible for me since the first day I became a ghoul. You have to trust me when I say that I would never hurt anyone."

"But you do eat human flesh, don´t you?"

The question caught him by surprise but he refused to surrender to his helplessness considering he had come face to face with the truth.

"I do. But here at Anteiku, we never kill anyone for it, we just gather scrapes from people who are already dead."

"Here at Anteiku?" She confirmed, connecting the dots. She glanced at the three people behind the bar, her gaze still on them as she asked Kaneki. "Are they all the same as you?"

It was far too late to fix that blunder. Kani turned an apologetic look to the other café staff, leaving the silent answer to float in the air.

"Do you know why I liked talking to you, Kaneki-san? It´s because I saw something in your eyes that reminded me of myself. I used to think we were both silent children who are weak to their family´s influence on themselves and who prefer to live in the fictional world of books than drag our feet in this unfulfilling one. You used to stare blankly at nothing in particular and so do I and I thought we could both leave behind our masks and be sincere in those 10 minutes we had at our disposal right before class started. Now….I don´t know, I´m still hanging on to something because I would hate to find out I´m such a bad judge of character."

"Arima-san…"

"Let it sink in for a while, won´t you?" She solicited in regards to the grim disclosure, to their camaraderie, to everything, really. He gave up on trying to offer reasons, considering it all too late when seeing her rise from her chair. She placed the required sum of yen on the table for her coffee and turned to face the shop manager and his two employees.

"I will trust in Kaneki-san´s words a bit more and shall consider this place inoffensive for his sake, however, if word reaches me stating otherwise, I will let the right people know."

Despite the intimidating glare she received from Touka, the following words, she delivered to Yoshimura. "For the moment, I won´t say anything, you have my assurance. I am not that desperate to impress my brother."

Not a second later after her departure, Touka urged the manager to give orders. Something had to be done about the Arima, their secret had been uncovered at the highest of prices.

"Manager…"

"It´s alright, Touka-chan. Arima-san wouldn´t lie about something like this."

"But Manager…"

"She has a friend here and also a soft spot for Uta and we all know no woman would inconvenience the man she is interested in with anything. Isn´t that so, Touka-chan?" The café manager smiled mischievously, glancing down at the share of dishes Touka had been cleaning earlier which, in fact, belonged to Kaneki. He was satisfied to see the female ghoul suppress a blush, covering it up with her trademark frown. With Touka´s worries put to rest for now, Yoshimura was left with Nishiki. The young man had remained silent for the most part, probably contemplating about Itori´s motivation of blowing everyone´s cover. Yoshimura thought about it as well, concluding that her intention was that of testing the Arima sibling, bargaining with lives that did not belong to her. Especially with Kaneki´s. The boy looked at a loss, slowly shrinking in his chair and drowning in a powerless state.

And drowning was the accurate sensation. He kept imagining Hide in Saya´s position only to come to the realization that he wouldn´t be able to recover from the idea of being abandoned by his childhood friend. Hide had always been there for him and had personally pulled Kaneki out from the black hole he crawled into when forgetting he was not alone in this world. Would Hide stare at him in disbelief, would he hate him, would he act cold or be afraid of him? Would he stop being Kaneki Ken the human and become Kaneki Ken the monster in his eyes? Just the mere thought of it had him bite his lips till drawing blood, his heart churning in suffering. He had to be more careful from now on. Hide never had to find out about him or else what was left human of Kaneki Ken him would disappear forever.

* * *

**A/N:** Hello again guys, chapter 4 is here! Sorry for the delay, life caught up with me! Things are getting fired up finally and we´re going to have the party in the next chapter.

Thank you to all who have followed and added my fanfiction to your favorites, I´m really lucky to have your support.^^

**Special thanks to my lovely reviewers:**

**Cyleana:** Hi there! As always thank you for your kind words! I´m glad to know everyone is in character, that´s my main challenge and requirement, I guess. You can´t be 100% accurate though because writing requires more character development and an incursion in the character´s mind but I´m getting there. I simply had to add Kaneki, he´s so lovable and also has a role in this fanfiction which will be revealed later so stick around. Do start on your own story, I would certainly read it *wink.

**Megohime of Mutsu:** That's because you were meant to be noticed, my dear! How do you like this chapter, let me know? Uta can really be a jerk somehow, whether he means/realizes it or not but how else would his character be so much of an enigma? To tell you the truth, I don´t like reading stories about two people only, characters are connected with their own friends/family members and have their own circumstances which is why I´m writing the fanfic in this way as well. Some people might not appreciate it and might feel like it drags but I´m holding out hope! Thank you and may I see you around here again.

**Kirschflower:** Another familiar name, thank you so much for taking the time to review! It gives me great joy to know this insignificant story is making people happy, truly! Thank you for liking Saya, I am on a mission to keep her grounded and developing on the same level as the manga so stay with me. :)

**Pheles-sama:** Thank you for stopping by again, I missed you in my second chapter :)). I have lots of fun writing the Arimas, they´re my favorite currently. Well, them and someone else who will make their appearance in the following chapters soon. This is just how I would see the environment of Kishou´s family. There was not a Saya-Uta scene in this chapter but there will be on in the next, I´m sure everyone can guess that. XD

**AznPuffyHair:** He can really rip people apart, that scene in the manga was gruesome! :)) Gotta love anime characters who don´t even have to try! And well said about Arima, he´s a ghoul in a sense as well, isn´t he? He´s just very efficient and good at what he does which is why I wanted to go deeper in his past and try to dig up what makes him the person he is today. After reading the manga, I realized everything is perfect for what I have in mind and will fall into place as chapters progress. Thanks for the encouragement and hope to see you here once more!

**Chiharu-angel:** Thank you very much! Please return for my next chapters as well and drop a line or two!

**Guest:** Merci beaucoup! Uta and Saya have a difficult relationship but it´s no fun if it´s a fairytale. If I think about it really well, I would be terrified of him and never go back there again but that´s just me, I´m usually a coward and I want to live, thank you very much! However, she is in love (or retarded) so she can make the sacrifice. Here´s some more Kaneki just for you. :)

**sherlaylay:** Thank you so much for adding me to your agenda and taking your time to write a review, it´s lovely, as always! She had to slam her purse, she´s the little princess of the Arima clan, it was a shock for her to be rejected but I had a blast :)). It´s fun torturing the characters. See you next chapter!

**ToukyoKushu:** Well, I love being stalked by reviewers! :D Thanks for your dedication and I hope this new chapter is to your liking. Take care!

**Flatwaffles29:** Hello and thank you for the review! Fufufufu, you read the manga, haven´t you? It´s alright, we´ll just have to see what and how exactly Uta will chose.

**gOthiCkUrOcHo69:** I very much appreciate it, thank you!^^ Let´s spread the Uta love! (Even though there´s so much hate lately).

**MuffinLord13:** The wait is over, here´s the fourth chapter! Thank you for your love. :)

**splitice:** I did read the manga, I wasn´t disappointed. I finally read something that did not cater to overused expectations and instead gave me a good old taste of reality. As for what I think you´re referring to, Uta treats people differently as it commonly happens with everyone. The way I act towards a friend is completely different from the way I treat a boyfriend, for example. There will always be exceptions. For anyone. Thank you for stopping by! :)

**hanae-croix:** Thank you, here´s the latest chapter! See you again!^^


	5. Behind the mask

**Disclaimer**:** **I do not own Tokyo Ghoul. This story is purely fictional.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Behind the mask**

A white van pulled in front of the Shibuya Excel Tokyo venue at exactly 9 pm. It slowed down enough for the people on board to register the place and then proceed to go round the building and park closely to the backdoor entrance. Uta turned off the engine and waited for Hamasaki to launch orders. In the seat next to his, Hamasaki checked his watch, pleased to see everything was flowing according to plan. All the guests should have been inside by now, lavishing in overpriced food and fine drinks, clueless about the massacre Hamasaki had in mind for them. Expensive cars were stationed in front of the hotel venue, attesting the high number of people participating to the fund raising event while music was making its volume known through the liberty of open terraces and mobile doors ready to receive even more attendants to the soon-to-be dramatic night. In the backseat, Susuyama and Yamada were growing impatient, tugging at their itchy ties in frustration.

"Darn clothes!" Yamada cursed, finally figuring out how to create an acceptable knot. "I hate wearing suits!"

"Me too," Susuyama joined in. "They make me feel… trapped…you know?"

"Quit your yapping, I´m not exactly having a ball either, " their boss barked, his shoulders twitching uncontrollably in the confinement of his sack coat. Suits would make it difficult to move but, they were necessary. "It´s a formal event and we´ll raise suspicions if we show up dressed like we usually do. Just remember, our goal is to kill off as many doves as we can, don´t get distracted by anything else, I don´t want to have to deal with small fry while the big birds save enough time to regroup and catch us by surprise. It´s us who´ll raise hell, got it?"

"Ño problem, Boss," Yamada said obediently. In contrast, Susuyama begged to differ.

"Why isn´t he wearing a suit?" The ghoul asked in regards to Uta´s casual attire.

"Because he´s here to drive the van, he´s not going in," Hamasaki said, still very baffled by his underling´s stupidity and emphasizing the words as one would do for someone with hearing impediments. "Don´t forget to put on your masks, we don´t want to be recognized. Is everyone ready?"

Instead of reply, the two ghouls grabbed their masks and got out of the car, adrenaline pumping in anticipation. Before getting off, Hamasaki focused on Uta, intent on revising their escape plan.

"We´ll try to make it quick so you won´t get too bored, sweetheart," Hamasaki mocked, secretly satisfied to see Uta at his beck and call. He had almost expected him to bail out on them and had to admit that he was a bit impressed to see the mask crafter come pick them up at the appointed spot as established. He must have really hated the Arimas if he went that far to see them crumble. "Yamada will give you the signal to restart the engine when we´re ready to run so make sure you keep your cellphone turned on. Be prepared to drive at full speed. Do you understand?"

"Completely," Uta replied.

"We need you here more, No Face. Don´t worry, I´ll personally take care of Arima. You´ll be avenged," Hamasaki promised and took his leave as well.

Really, that girl was too much trouble. Eventually, Uta got out of the car despite Hamasaki´s strict instructions and inspected the area. It was unnaturally quiet. No guards posted at the doors, no security. He heard no rustles on the other side, his suspicion arousing. If he was going to enter the building, he was going to find another way in, preferably one that did not contradict his instincts to such lengths.

* * *

Saya checked her dress for the last time in the golden mirror of the hotel room, added a few drops of perfume on her wrists and donning on the accursed mask, she finally made her way down the staircase, into the hall of the event. She was sleep deprived and had her head in the clouds due to the secrets revealed yesterday and therefore grateful she had something to wear on her face to hide her exhaustion. The main goal for the evening was to put everything aside and just enjoy a delightful night. With that conviction in mind, she flashed a forced smile on her lips as soon as her father and brother came into view. They both wore clean-cut suits and black masks, Kishou´s in particular covering only half of his face, luckily for the young ladies who had been invited to the event. Saya had indeed inherited their mother´s beauty but Kishou was not unfortunate in that department either. His traits, Japanese and linear, were amplified by a certain foreign flair which distinguished Kishou from thousands and blessed him with a handsome face and an imposing height. Even in that sea of masks and attires, colorful and striking to the eye, Kishou reigned in the entire amplitude of the hall.

"There she is, my beautiful daughter!" Daichi exclaimed as he pulled Saya close to take a better look at her. He placed an affectionate hand on her cheek, pride plastered all across his face. "This mask is exquisite, Saya. Where on earth did you acquire it?"

"A local store, it´s nothing special," his daughter told him, keen on extinguishing the subject from its first flame. She did establish to keep troublesome thoughts away from her that night, she didn´t need to be remembered of specific individuals. At one point, she considered not wearing the mask at all but since it would stay on her face she wouldn´t have to see it anyways.

"You look lovely," Kishou complimented.

"Thank you. You look good yourself," Saya hurried to add in order to hide her embarrassment. Her brother rarely complimented her and whenever he did, she always felt out of place, as if she didn´t really deserve the praise despite craving for it once in a while.

"Well come along, let´s mingle with the guests," Daichi prompted, leading the way through the mass of people chatting with old friends, tasting the food or even gazing admirably at the music orchestra compiled especially for that event. Along with her family members, Saya offered her greetings and thanked the guests for accepting their invitation. Their final stop had been at Marude Itsuki and Amon Koutaru´s side, the latter trying to fit in with the aristocratic assemblage of Tokyo. Their masks had been discarded somewhere on a table, not entirely used to covering their faces for entertaining purposes. Upon spotting the Arimas, Amon´s face relaxed, a wave of relief invading his whole being. Marude, on the other hand, grabbed another glass of champagne from a waiter´s tray gulping down the liquid in one go.

"Arima-san! Thank you so much for inviting me to this party! I don´t go out much, you know?" Marude thanked Daichi, bowing to all three members of the family, Amon following his example impeccably. Daichi tapped Marude´s shoulder in a friendly gesture, trying to ignore the multitude of appetizers in the man´s hand and realizing that was probably the reason why he failed to be on people´s invitation lists that much.

"Don´t need to thank me, Marude-san, you´re just lucky you weren´t on duty tonight," Arima senior said jokingly, wishing the rest of the investigators could have also attended but instead remained stuck at headquarters or were on ghoul-hunting missions.

"I can´t tell you how happy I am I decided to come here. You were a good soldier, Arima-san but you also know how to live. Your father is a wise man, Kishou-kun. You better learn from him."

"Of course, Marude-san. We must always listen to our elders," Kishou agreed on reflex, knowing best which buttons not to push with his fellow colleague.

"Kishou´s learning well," Daichi said, honored by his son´s each and every action. He had been outgrown by his son in all aspects a long time ago, his heart at ease with the thought of leaving his family in capable hands. "He even invited a few novices tonight as a reward for their excellent results in training," the older man informed, causing Marude to look behind Kishou and see there had been three people behind him all along, all cladded in black suits. Two young men and a girl, their faces, familiar, from the last time he had visited the Academy. If he remembered correctly, those three were going to be appointed to a division soon, promising efficiency and fast development in the hierarchy of inspectors.

Saya had noticed them following them around but had said nothing; Kishou appointed bodyguards for their protection when the case was needed. The girl mainly caught Saya´s attention, the way her eyes rested glued on Kishou amusing her to no end. Not surprising, Kishou had captivated yet another woman and pretended not to notice it. In a way, it was better to keep a distance, new inspectors were at risk of ending dead when first starting off their job as ghoul hunters. Her grin faded at the prospect of that outcome, understanding once again that not everyone was as lucky to have a prodigy relative by their side who could survive even the worst of ghoul attacks. Next to her, Amon coughed, subtly drawing her attention.

"Miss Arima, it´s nice to see you again. Are you enjoying the party?" he said, bowing his head in respect, earning himself the same courtesy from her. She had seen Amon Koutaru only once before, around the time he joined investigator Mado Kureo as his new partner and that first time, he had been just as solemn as he was now.

"Likewise," she said. "And I am, I´m quite used to them. But you don´t really like these types of gatherings, do you, Amon-san?"

"Ah, I´m always uncomfortable and they make me feel inappropriate," he tried to find the best answer.

"I know what you mean. Father disliked them at first as well but you see, my mother loved events and involved herself in many charity funds so eventually, he came to accept them and continued organizing them even after her death."

"He must have loved her very much," Amon voiced out, sensing her lingering melancholy.

"He did," she simply stated. Whenever she thought about Adelisa, she always missed her deeply. When she was alive she felt her mother had hung the moon, that she was invincible and death would never touch her. When fate took her away from them, Saya hadn´t come out of her mother´s closet for days. She had buried herself in her dresses, sullying them with her continuously pouring tears and vowing to never go against her teachings for as long as she would live. It took her father and brother days of pleading for her to come out but even when she did, she was never to be the same again. She would make sure to inconvenience no one and would support her last remaining family members as best as she could.

"You don´t need to force yourself, Amon-san, not everyone is made to like these types of events. I can tell you´re an earnest man and you would rather be at your desk right now, devising strategies for your work."

Amon´s eyes widened in astonishment. It was as if she had read his mind. He was about to let her know how well she had comprehended him when Saya revealed she was not done talking.

"But it´s not healthy to engross yourself in work only. You need to detach yourself from it and remember how to live in harmony with other people as well," she advised, looking over to her brother whom she wished would be by their side more and not only physically. How strange, Mado had said the same thing on the day he became his partner. Humans should stay with humans and ghouls with ghouls. Saya´s unannounced wisdom weighted on him, awakening lost thoughts about his father and the dark scenes he had witnessed as a child. Instantaneously, Amon erased his image from his mind, focusing on Mado instead. Amon had been lucky and unlucky in his experience with father-figures but it went without saying, both instances had had quite the impact on his evolution as a person. He felt sadness invade him, terribly missing a conversation with his mentor, Amon´s head heavy and heart as stone at imagining how hard it would be for him to get over Mado´s death, if that was even possible. Mado would agree with Saya´s words and at the same time would not attend this party but be off on some ghoul-hunt at the other side of the city.

"You´re absolutely right, miss Arima. Next time, I shall take your words in consideration," Amon said, letting Saya know he was going to retire for the night. He bowed to her once more, respectful eyes basking her form and then proceeded to voice his goodbyes to the rest of the inspectors. As expected, her father showed sincere regret at his departure and offered to accompany him to the door along with Kishou thus, leaving Saya in the presence of Marude and the three trainees that had been brought along.

"It´s a pity Amon-san couldn´t stay longer," Saya said conversationally.

"It can´t be helped," Marude began explaining. "After all, Mado´s death hit him pretty hard, it´s going to take a while before he gets back to his feet. Stupid man," Marude proclaimed and Saya intuited correctly that he was talking about the recently deceased investigator, "that´s what you get for developing an obsession for quinques, you forget how to hone your other survival skills. Heard that, newbies?" Marude whirled on his feet to fix the three youngsters behind him with all the intensity he could muster. "You must never preoccupy yourselves exclusively with quinques."

"Yes, sir!" The girl investigator-to-be retorted while one of the young men rolled his eyes and the other mumbled a grumpy "Why not?"

"Because it´s unhealthy, that´s why!" He barked at them, annoyed for having his reasons questioned. He suddenly remembered he was still in the company of Saya and adopting a softer tone, slipped out of his commander skin.

"There are better hobbies out there, for example vehicles! I, for one, love cars. I don´t have a large number of items in my collection but the few that I have are really precious to me," Marude said, turning an excited look on Saya. She had the vague feeling that once he started with that subject there would be nothing in the world to make him stop and when he started round two of his chatter , Saya contemplated finding the most mannerly way of excusing herself and searching for someone else to socialize with. "I have this red Porsche I bought after years of saving and this vintage motorcycle that I have restored on my own, a real beauty, I tell you," he praised, causing one of the young boys behind him to snort impatiently.

"I don´t think Arima-san is interested in your _healthy_ hobby, Marude-san."

"Be quiet soldier, no one´s asking you anything!" The inspector reprimanded. And then gently to Saya,"Do you dislike cars, Arima-san?"

_I´m pretty indifferent to them_, Saya thought, preparing a safer reply for her brother´s colleague.

"I can´t say I dislike them only that I´m not very knowledgeable in this area," she truthfully argued. "But I do understand your passion, cars are like an extension of yourself."

"The only good thing about him, more likely," the talkative boy whispered in vain for Marude heard him loud and clear. On that account, the older man turned to them again, whacking the impudent trainee over the head.

"Watch it, Fukui-kun," Marude warned through gritted teeth. "One more word and I´ll have you spend your weekend polishing my vehicles."

"Ugh, no thanks."

"As if I´d let an insolent brat like you touch my babies." The last line elicited a snicker from the girl and a full-on laughter from the other male trainee which Saya graciously joined. In all the years she had known him, Marude never remembered that whenever they met, he always talked to her about cars. In fact, the little information she had about vehicles had come from said inspector, his never-ending passion for the steel wonders, incessant and loyal. Nothing out of the ordinary there. They all had their perks and she was aware of them. All her life she had met inspectors and soldiers, her father having her come to his work place often and their small gatherings always comprised of members of the CCG branch. Saya had grown in this environment to such extent, she could even call it her second family and it was that same family she was betraying by withholding information that might be saving other people´s lives. Kaneki said that they were not hurting anyone but how could she trust him entirely? She thought she knew Kaneki and as it turned out, she did not know him at all. Her eyes searched for her father and brother instinctively, locating them near the exit where they had escorted Amon earlier, the aforementioned nowhere to be seen anymore. Taking advantage of Marude being distracted and the new batch of guests heading their way, Saya separated herself from the group and headed in her family´s direction.

At the polar opposite of the room, Daichi and Kishou supervised the hall, their breathing calm and in unison, much like most of their thoughts. Most, not all.

"Quite a nice a fellow that Amon-kun. He would make a great match for Saya, don´t you think?"

Kishou took a few moments to consider. He was not like his father, always ready to judge people superficially. To Arima Kishou, first impressions did not matter much because in the end, people had to be discovered and rediscovered. Indeed, at an initial observation, Amon Koutaru had proven out to be excellent and in the future would most likely achieve his full potential as an investigator yet as a husband, for his sister in particular, matters were not that evident. He had followed that man´s progress and had witnessed him at his worst through reports of his last mission with investigator Mado and had understood how exactly that affected him.

"Amon Koutaru is promising, I cannot deny. A valuable asset for CCG," Kishou deliberated. "On the other hand, he is emotional, fixated on the wrong goal and not selfish enough to hang on tightly to what belongs to him. For Saya, we do not need someone who is enamored with their work but who is willing to stake their life to ensure her survival, no matter the costs. For such a man, Saya´s life will always have to be top priority."

Arima senior blinked his eyes curiously, wondering how it had become possible for his son to categorize someone as efficiently as proven. He clearly hadn´t thought of matters that far ahead; to him, it had counted only the fact that Amon was kind and hard-working, traits he would really like to see in someone suited for his daughter but his son was of different opinion and with good reason. Saya was never to be a sacrificial pawn, under no circumstances.

"Well, we´re also taking out Amon-kun from the list then," Daichi noted, disappointment echoing from within his sentence. "Next time, you suggest someone."

"I will," Kishou agreed, surprising his father for the second time that evening. He hadn´t been serious when he proposed that to his son but from his tone, it seemed Kishou might have someone in mind for the position. He was about to inquire who it was but missed his opportunity when his son excused himself to attend to something unspecified. Saya had also materialized by his side, two glasses of champagne in her hand. She handed one to her father and kept one for herself.

"Shall we toast for a wonderful night?" She asked, tilting her glass, awaiting confirmation.

"For that and for how lovely my precious daughter is." He clinked the glass on her own, watching her remove her mask to reward him with a beam. For a moment there, he thought he saw Adelisa. Only for a moment.

* * *

Five minutes into the building and Hamasaki felt something was wrong. There was no security, no human in sight to hinder their advancement towards the event hall and that made him restless. But he kept it concealed, not wishing to worry his comrades even though they themselves could probably understand the situation they were in.

"Where do we go now, Boss?" Susuyama did his best to whisper.

"Shh, this way," Hamasaki instructed, finally on to something. He could hear heartbeats, voices and music, feel the warmth of tender bodies gliding past each other and whiff the unmistakable aroma of human flesh. He hurried in his steps, his men close behind him. They were almost there, he could sense it. It did not matter there were no guards anymore, they were either too stupid or too confident. That last option challenged Hamasaki´s nerves but he calmed down by imagining how wonderful CCG meat would taste in his mouth. At last reaching the door from where the loud hustle originated, Hamasaki barged right in. Inside, everything was dim and clearly no party unfolding. All of a sudden, the lights were turned on and Hamasaki locked his gaze on the people sitting at the center of the empty room. At his side, his men were disoriented, failing to understand what was going on. There was no one in the room despite having heard voices and music earlier, no one apart from Arima Kishou and three younger humans framing him on each of his side. Arima took out a remote control from his pocket and pressing a button, muted the conglomeration of sounds, proving it had all been a recording.

"You bastard!" Hamasaki roared, balling his fists tightly. It had been a trap, a well-devised game to lure them in and they had fallen for it. He couldn´t understand it initially, the heartbeats were there, the real voices and scents had also been there all along, except they were in another hall. Without a doubt, Arima had anticipated their arrival and had outdone himself by staging that little scheme to confuse them and mess with their senses. Little by little, his underlings were becoming aware of the flaw in their plan. Yamada especially, loathed the sole idea of having to die here while humans were enjoying themselves ignorantly in the adjoined space. It was high time he encouraged his men regardless of how bothered he felt inside just by staring into the cold eyes of Arima.

"Stand your ground, men. We´re going to dismember them!"

Eternally composed, Arima ignored the ghoul´s declaration, opting to address his own team instead.

"As promised, you are to experience first-hand combat with ghouls using quinques as compensation for your excellent training results. Keep in mind this is an exception and you will not have access to a quinque again until the day you graduate. Use them wisely," Arima advised his pupils. They all nodded, excited beyond measure to be in the possession of a case. They gripped the handle of each of their quinque container, awaiting permission from the Special Unit investigator. That was precisely what they trained for; when Arima promised them the chance of using a weapon designated only to inspectors, the three of them understood the privilege they were given and as a result, upgraded their skills to ensure fulfilling their collective dream. Arima addressed the male trainees first.

"You take the one on the right and Fukui the one on the left. As for Hamasaki," Arima emphasized the grim name familiar to the entire CCG unit and pointing out that a mere mask could not keep his identity safe from him, "Matsumoto will apprehend him and I will assist in the elimination process. Begin."

That last one word was enough to cause havoc. The three charged at the ghouls almost instantaneously, Matsumoto included, unsuccessful in waiting for Arima to join her in her share of the mission. She would not be undermined, female and all, she had the same training as her male comrades and would prove her worth on her own and perhaps this way, Arima would notice her as a person and not only as a soldier. The cases opened and weapons took shape in their hands, menacing and destructive.

Hamasaki was still trying to figure out how it all happened. To his right, Susuyama had been flatted to the ground, his chest pierced by what looked like a sword quinque, blood gushing out and life draining slowly away from him while to his left, Yamada had been immobilized as well, his own demise drawing near at a fraction of second. He briefly considered aiding his right-hand man, Yamada had been more than just a loyal follower, he had been a friend but misery descended on himself too when the girl of the group targeted his head. He dodged, easily staying out of her quinque´s way, her incessant attacks causing him more frustration than distress. Not one moment to spare, Hamasaki released his kagune hoping that its sight would intimidate the girl. Lamentably, it had quite the opposite effect and the girl charged at him again, this time making her the perfect target for the projection of his kagune. If he calculated approximately, it would tear that rebel arm of hers that kept swinging the quinque a bit too eagerly, however, there was still Arima he had to take into account.

_Lucky wench_, Hamasaki whined, seeing his plan of cutting her apart shattered as Arima blocked his attack with Ixa, his well-known quinque. He was pushed back, wobbling on his feet, glaring at the two like a wild beast in a cage. From the place she had tripped and fallen down, Matsumoto looked up at Arima, grateful for his intervention. Was he angry? He did not show it, but then again, she never really saw him angry. In fact, on the battlefield, Arima´s expression was always that of concentration and idle sorrow, as if rather not terminate life in favor of other but determined to do it anyways, giving he was the most efficient at it. He spoke, his back still turned at her.

"I extended help to you not because of difference in gender but because of difference in strength. Hamasaki is not an opponent you can defeat by yourself, Matsumoto."

His words stung, despite sounding reasonable to her ears. She lowered her head in shame, disappointed in herself for having inconvenienced him. She only wanted to help, to prove herself but all she achieved was getting in his way. Matsumoto stood up again, set on compensating her error with a sure hit and unknowingly made the same mistake all over again by charging without awaiting further orders. She thought that she would be able to land a hit while Hamasaki was busy watching out for Arima, and yet the ghoul outsmarted everyone by going after the weak link again, his kagune wrapping around her fragile body crushingly and sending her flying towards Arima. The investigator´s first instinct was that of going after the ghoul, nevertheless, the reasonable part of him had won over and thus focused on catching the girl, the impact sending them both crashing into the opposite wall. Satisfied to see his strategy work, Hamasaki took advantage of the incapacitated Arima and made a run for it through the same door he entered. Ignoring the physical pain in his spine, Arima got to his feet, but not before resting an injured Matsumoto on the floor, instructing her not to move. In between attacks she had dislocated a shoulder, Arima could feel it limp against his chest when propping her up to sit. He glanced at her but she avoided his look, guilty for the failure of the operation. If it were any other inspector, Arima would have left them fend for themselves but that girl was still a student, a trainee he had brought that night for a special lesson and as his responsibility, he had to put her safety before the elimination of that Hamasaki pest. When he made the selection of the three, Arima had not calculated such sloppiness from Matsumoto´s part. She was not the hot-blooded type, quite the contrary, she always monitored her moves and proved to be obedient in every aspect yet just now she acted like a completely different person. What was she trying to prove, exactly? For that, he would have to ponder later because currently, they had a ghoul on the loose and Arima had to stop him before he reached the genuine reception hall where people were actually enjoying the party, clueless about what had happened not far away from their location.

"Stay with her," Arima instructed the other two students who just like him, were having second thoughts about Matsumoto´s character. He retrieved Ixa from the ground and dashed after Hamasaki at full speed. It seemed he was not able to contain that fight away from the reception hall as he had previously intended.

* * *

It happened right after experiencing the sensation of being watched that Saya jolted at a loud thump and at the hysterical screams coming from within the hall which perpetuated all the way through the spot she was standing at with her father. Nothing prepared her for what came next. A ghoul had forced his way into the hall, his kagune active and ready to spill blood. Her father came to shield her from the front, instinctively raising an arm to protect her behind him. The ghoul looked confused, as if looking for something or better yet, running away from someone and it was precisely when her brother caught up with him, face impassive and unforgiving that she understood the ghoul was going to meet his end. There was simply no escaping her brother. People were panicking and dashing in all directions looking for a way out, chaos installing itself at a matching pace.

"A ghoul! Here of all places!" Marude exclaimed, running over to their side. "Why on earth did you approve a masquerade ball?" The investigator asked, realizing how easy it was for ghouls to infiltrate into a party of such profile. He peered at the ghoul positioned just a few meters from them, trying to guess whose face was concealed behind those thick layers of hardened material.

"And why not?" Daichi smiled mysteriously, "Kishou came up with the idea. What better invitation to send out to people who commit beastly acts wearing masks?"

"You mean, you orchestrated this?" Marude gaped at his ex-colleague, still deciding whether to label the Arimas brilliant or downright insane.

"Now, don´t be so aghast, Marude, we´ve done worse things during my youth, remember?"

Marude closed his mouth, eerily reminded of a time where they commonly used humans as baits and chose to refrain from adding more to the subject. It was Kishou battling the ghoul out there and he wouldn´t allow for any type of human sacrifices. As for Daichi, Marude was surprised. He had known that man from their youth and he hadn´t always been ruthless nor quick to take chances. It had to be that German woman´s influence, no doubt about it. Marude shuddered just at the mere mention of her name. He had never really liked that woman. She looked feminine but all her decisions were that of a man and when she gazed at you she could reach out to the darkest depths of one´s soul and drag you out, humiliated and exposed. And you could never say no to her, Marude had experienced it first-handedly once. Quite the irony for her to die because of a weak heart condition. Daichi´s voice slowly called him back to reality, that woman´s poisonous laugh perishing from his ears.

"But the fact is, this little ´demonstration´ had to remain off stage. Something must have gone wrong," Arima senior mused, waiting for Kishou to finish the job already. He turned to his daughter, grabbing her by the shoulders.

"Saya, go to your hotel room, lock the door and stay there until this is over, alright?"

"Yes, Father," she complied and ran towards the stairs until his eyes were no longer following her. All of a sudden, she stopped in her route, preparing to make a detour to that one person she caught watching her earlier. Saya swam through the crowd and slid round a corner, coming face to face with a masked stranger. Not much of a stranger in her case since she had inexplicably acquired this sixth sense of knowing when he was near and to prove it to herself, her hand jerked to his face, forcefully removing his mask.

"What are you doing here?!" She shouted in Uta´s now exposed face. "Don´t tell me you´re with him!" She accused, pointing at the soon-to-be massacred ghoul.

"Well, I _am_ driving their getaway car," he admitted. Her grey eyes widened, starting to sound incoherent.

"What?! You´re actually part of this? Are you serious?"

"Let´s just say that ghoul´s death brought some unnecessary trouble," Uta said, reminding her of an unpleasant memory. "Whether you believe me or not, I came to ensure you live through this."

A few feet away from them, Kishou was going all out on Hamasaki, cornering him into submission. That ghoul kept his own against Kishou admirably but not for long, it was only a matter of time before Kishou decapitated him. What poor reasoning to come challenge her brother directly, they should all know he was not considered the Shinigami of the CCG for nothing.

"You might have noticed by now that I´m perfectly fine," Saya said matter-of-factly, her confidence in her brother needing no more backup than it already had.

The hall was clearing out at an alarming speed which meant soon enough, they would not be shielded from her family´s sight.

"But you´re not. Come with me," Saya ordered, shoving the mask in his face with such strength Uta realized that girl could throw quite the devastating punch if a situation required it. He allowed her to lead them up the stairs and through an empty corridor until they reached a hotel room. She unlocked it quickly and ushered them inside.

"If you get out this window, you´ll be able to reach the main street in a few minutes. It´s safe, no one´s guarding it, I heard Security mention it earlier," The young woman informed him, placing her mask on one of the nearby nightstands. It was a long way down but it would be no problem for a ghoul like him to escalade it safely. Saya then proceeded to inhale a deep breath to gather courage for what she was about to say. "And with this, everything is going to be over. You saved my life, I´m about to save yours and by the time the night ends, we can pretend none of this ever happened."

In his presence, expelling the words was harder than what she had imagined, mainly because she did not believe them herself. Perhaps he did not believe them either because his gaze was that of someone who hadn´t seen another in a long time and was studiously trying to recall everything about that person.

"You look wonderful," he said out of the blue. She expected to hear him say anything but that. Why was he doing that to her? She was prepared to forget about him, or at least use all her inner strength to do it but now that he launched such an observation, she felt the ground melt under her feet. She tried veiling her nervousness by counteracting his words with humor.

"Wonderful as in pretty or wonderful as in an appetizing slice of cake?"

He left the answer hanging in the air, smiling secretly in concordance with his thoughts. She scoffed at him, not pleased to be toyed with and not sure if she liked where that was going. Unannounced, he stepped closer to her, slowly, alluring in every inch he stalked near her. Her surviving instinct, as low as it was around that man, kicked in and pushed her back, dragging her feet away from him until she bumped into the wardrobe behind.

"I´m starting to have second thoughts," he confessed, his eyes traveling on the entire length of her body. She gulped, finally realizing what a stupid idea it was to be locked in a room with a ghoul as spontaneous as him.

"In regards to letting me live?"

"In regards to letting you go."

She pushed backwards but there was simply no more room for her to distance herself from Uta, the knobs of the wardrobe puncturing her shoulder blades to the point of numbness. Saya never had the chance to be so close to him, feeling his own breath prickling at her skin, his entire body radiating heat and a dominance that kneeled her to his whims. He continued watching her as she became even more flustered, his eyes trying to read her own, devouring her piece by piece without even having to touch her. That bastard could probably hear her heartbeat rebelling against her rib cage and he was probably laughing internally at her, curious to see what other reactions he could draw out. The entire time he had been calm, in control actually. Her? A complete mess but doing a great job at remaining conscious and still holding herself on her two feet. She did not understand what caused his change of heart or what his intentions were and she feared she would faint before finding out.

"Let´s go for coffee instead," Uta whispered.

"Yes," She said dreamily only to realize she had replied to a sentence she did not even register. In that state she would have said ´yes´ to almost anything. "What?" Saya asked for more details, wondering why the talk about coffee popped into such a critical moment.

"You suggested we go to an art gallery but I prefer going out for coffee since I can actually drink it," he explained, pulling away from her. "Moreover, if we go to a gallery we can´t talk leisurely."

"Yes…talk," she repeated while convincing herself that talking was all she wanted to do with him. Horrified by how disappointed his retreat left her, Saya pulled herself to her full height, miserably trying to regain some dignity.

"If it´s alright with you, we can go tomorrow at noon. Anteiku is a safe place for us to meet. It´s in the 20th district."

"Yes, I know it," she said, remembering how the last time she went there she was putting all thoughts about him at rest. A question was burning at the top of her tongue though.

"What changed your mind?"

He did not even take time to think of the answer but delivered the words sharply.

"In that dress, you can make me do anything."

Initially, Saya thought she had misheard him judging from the composed expression he wore expelling such words. There was nothing sensual about his tone, he had voiced out the statement as serious as one would proclaim what day of the week it was and that made her even more worried. Saya realized she did not know much about that man apart from the churning effect she had on her being and on her usually tame mind. And yet, he had stepped right in, had let himself in her heart as he pleased and gained access to her weaknesses. And she had no strength to complain or blame him. The change was sudden. She had labeled him passive before, she being the one to advance and greedily ask but as their roles inversed, Saya began questioning her integrity.

He had been staring at the door for the past seconds, a knock at the door letting her know the reason. Her father was right outside the door. Uta took that as the signal to make himself scarce and with one last look in her directionm left through the window without bothering to wait for an answer to his invitation. She was going to be there and they both knew it.

"Saya, darling, are you alright?" Her father asked as soon as she opened the door for him. "You look agitated, your face is red," Daichi noticed, touching his daughter´s forehead in concern. "It´s over dear, Daichi took care of the intruder, you can come down when you´re ready."

"That´s good to hear." She fell into her father´s embrace, her arms wrapping around him tightly. Daichi patted his daughter on the head, feeling safer than ever.

"No need to worry, Saya. No ghoul is ever going to take you away."

* * *

**A/N:** Hello guys! The awaited chapter is finally here, thanks for supporting me along the way and commenting on my chapters, it really keeps me going! This chapter was way too long but I had characters to introduce and actions to explain so bear with me. I´m sure many of you were hoping for Uta to save Saya in this chapter but I actually wrote it the other way around XD. Have no fear, Uta will have the chance to play hero in the future.

Thank you to my new followers and to all you great people who favorite me and the story! *hands cake*

And now, my special thanks to my regular reviewers!

**Chiharu-angel: **Thank you so much, hope to see you here again to let me know what you think!^^

**Megohime of Mutsu: **Hello again and as always, many thanks for the love! I´m glad you liked the chapter, I intended to make it like a rollercoaster, for things to happen one after another. In his innocence, I guess Kaneki would make that mistake and Itori would deliberately uncover truths to suit her wishes. She´s always bipolar, that woman. But for that, she plays right into the story, helping me raise intrigue and troubling my poor character. XD I don´t have any other stories except a Psycho Pass one which wasn´t very successful but that anime wasn´t that popular though. Too bad, I really liked it. Catch you later!

**Flatwaffles29: **Let the stalking go on! To make things easier for you, I´ll tell you that I update on Thursdays or Fridays, depending on my schedule. I would update faster but time is scarce for me right now and I end up posting these chapters late into the night. It´s 2 am here, I´m not even joking. Because of this late hour, I sometimes make grammar mistakes and I´ll have to go back and fix a few. I apologize for that, shall get them fixed. English is not my native language so please forgive me? I´m sorry to hear the manga ripped your heart, hope this fanfiction will mend it a bit. I can´t promise anything because sometimes characters get a will of their own and they surprise even the creators but do stay with me from now on as well! Thank you.

**sherlaylay: **Hello again! :) I´m really fortunate to have such loyal reviewers, it makes the writing process a lot more enjoyable. As for Itori, who else than her to cause unnecessary drama? The ball was premeditated by Kishou who definitively doesn´t know anything else but work and wouldn´t waste an opportunity as this in a million years. But even he´s not perfect in his judgment which is why I had Matsumoto inconvenience him a bit. Looking forward to hearing your opinion for this chapter, miss!

**Cyleana: **You have a big hug from me and my thanks for writing such a lengthy, wonderful review. I suppose that like all members of Fanfiction Net I am an aspiring writer but I still have a long way to go. You don´t need to get discouraged by writing, you never know what good idea you might have so don´t let it go to waste **:). **I´m happy people like the fact that I´m replying to their comments, to tell you the truth, this is probably my favorite part about this story –talking to you guys, discussing the characters and speculating ideas. Good job on noticing how manipulative Itori is, I also had the exact same scene in mind when writing the part with her and Kaneki. I mean, the woman threw blood in his face just to see his eye activated, that was rude and uncalled for XD. But it gave us a pretty good idea about the type of person she is. Hope to see your ID in my review section for this chapter too. And as for the hard time you´re experiencing right now, as Sheldon said to Howard in that TV series I won´t advertise, "This too shall pass". Remember, bad times will go away eventually, even if it takes a long time, they will become a matter of the past. It´s unnatural for things to stay the same. Be strong, don´t lose faith and hope this chapter too will be of comfort!

**Kirschflower: **Thank you, my dear reviewer! Keeping my fingers crossed about this chapter and hope it did not disappoint. The Uta-Saya moments were at the end of the chapter but things are going well, right? *wink.


	6. And so it begins

**Disclaimer****:** ****I do not own Tokyo Ghoul. This story is purely fictional.

* * *

**Chapter 6: And so it begins…**

Saya´s expectations for the following morning weren´t anything grand; she imagined she would start it off by enjoying a nice cup of tea on the terrace, play some 70´s Jazz on her antique gramophone and probably spend at least an hour in front of her closet deciding what to wear for her date with Uta. She did not have the time to ponder whether it was a real date or not, nor giggle hysterically out of nowhere as she would waltz through her room in anticipation nor get out of bed for that matter, when a maid let herself in to announce that Kishou requested her presence downstairs. In spite of appearances, her brother was not as patient as everybody thought he was which was why she limited her morning rituals to washing her face, tying her hair in a low bun and throwing on the first clothes she extracted from her wardrobe. As per usual in her family, actions came first, explanations later. He greeted her ´good morning´ and led her to the car, both driving away to an unknown destination. She tried asking for details between the numerous phone calls Kishou received on a daily basis, hoping they wouldn´t be away for long but it was only when the car pulled in front of the CCG building that Saya regretfully said goodbye to her morning plans. Whatever it was Kishou had in store for her, it would better finalize before that afternoon.

They went through the main entrance, the premise as unchanged as the last time she had been there. Everyone greeted them, some trying to catch a word with her brother but unfortunately for them, Kishou had no second to spare. Finally in the elevator, she was about to push the 15th floor button where her brother´s office was located when Kishou´s finger went for a red one instead, that particular one designating the basement. Saya frowned, wondering what was going on. In all the years she had visited the CCG headquarters, she was never taken to the basement, in fact, that area was strictly forbidden to her and any other invited guest. A sharp ding announced they reached the inferior floor, metallic doors sliding aside to reveal a heavily enforced corridor leading to various sections, everything illuminated and supervised. He led her to a glass door that read A102, her confusion dwindling slightly at the sight of a training room unfolding right before her eyes. At the far back, Amon Koutaru was patiently waiting for their arrival. Continuing to stew in her state of stupefaction, Saya´s eyes begged assistance from Inspector Amon.

"Good morning," he saluted both his superior and his confused sister whom he worriedly asked," I hope you are alright, Arima-san. I heard things got a bit out of hand after I left last night."

"I´m fine, thank you Amon-san. Things never get out of hand with my brother around," she responded, wondering if either of them was finally going to take pity on her and inform her about what was happening. As an alternative to clarification, Kishou placed a black box in front of her and opened it. Its contents, void of anything decorative had but one object guarded: a gun. A natural at handling such weapons, Kishou took it out and settled it in Saya´s skeptical hands.

"What do you want me to do with this?" She asked, not liking the cold, foreign feel of the item against her skin.

"You will learn how to fire a gun," Kishou stated.

"Excuse-me?" What had gotten into her brother all of a sudden? In the past she had been the one to ask him to teach her how to work a firearm and he had vehemently refused, sending her away to dance lessons and other harmless preoccupations and now he was offering? She looked at him in a manner that demanded answers and he complied.

"It´s high time you get taught," Kishou replied, loading the gun with a special set of bullets while she still held the gun. She had to learn how to handle it on her own in the future. "If there is ever a situation I can´t reach you in due time, I need you to protect yourself till I get there. You´ve seen for yourself that we can´t always anticipate people´s actions accurately." He spoke of the incident that happened yesterday of course and while his reasons were understandable, he was wrong to believe she was ready for such a task. Furthermore, Kishou pretended not to notice the disheartened look on Saya´s face, opting to dazzle her with unceasing facts.

"This is not a regular gun, but one that can fire Q bullets developed by the GFG with the purpose of lethally harming ghouls. You just need to aim well and they will do the rest."

She glanced down at the terrible object in her hands disgustedly. That thing could hurt Uta. It could even kill him. Her first instinct was that of dropping it to the floor but Kishou came behind her and guided her by the shoulders closer to Amon, a shooting target coming into view. Without notice, her brother grabbed her by the arms and positioned her to stand correctly on her two feet.

"At first, your only goal will be that of hitting the target. As you get better, you will have to hit certain vital points. One bullet for the kakuhou, which Amon-san here will explain in further detail, one for the heart and one for the head to make sure you finish the job. Learn to do it properly and quickly, until it becomes second nature," Kishou instructed sternly. It was the best he could do for her at the moment and she would not need to go through the nerve-breaking training he and his other colleagues received at the Academy. Kishou almost felt sorry for her, and angry at himself for forcing her to step into this world but he could not shield her forever. If she did not learn what true danger was and how to protect herself from it she would continue living her days thinking her life was always going to be preserved by others around her. Saya was no soldier but he could not allow her to be a helpless spectator either. If push came to shove, she had to at least try to stand her own or else that ignorance him and his father allowed her to grow into would be the end of them. "Do you understand?" He asked for confirmation.

She felt uncomfortable, her brother´s arms locking her into a cell of dishonesty. What had brought all of this? Was this punishment for what she had done the other night, or worse, for what she was about to do? She could not find it in her heart to say no, she was going to meet a ghoul later in the afternoon and stomp on all the principles the ones around had instilled in her since birth.

"Yes, Brother," Saya finally agreed, Kishou releasing her to her freedom. Next, he focused on Amon who politely stood aside, an innocent bystander in their family bonding moment.

"I leave her in your care, Amon-san."

"No need to worry, Arima-san. I will go easy on her."

Having seen trustworthiness on Amon´s face, Kishou decided to take his leave and attend to the matters assigned to him for that day. He took one last look at Saya who appeared to have shrunk into that little girl that used to follow him around all day when they were children and he was amazed to see how weak to her he still was.

"At least stay with me until you teach me properly," she complained silently. It wasn´t that Amon was a stranger but she still felt unusual having to bear her lack of skill in front of an inspector other than her family members. Truthfully not wishing to inconvenience Amon, Saya apologized in behalf of her brother.

"I´m sorry, Amon-san. You must be awfully busy and my brother is making you baby sit me."

Amon shook his head, that thought having never crossed his mind. Spending time with Arima Saya was no punishment, by far. She was perspicacious and always knew exactly what to say and was certainly less intimidating than her brother. In fact, the earlier display had made him reconsider the way he regarded Arima. Amon had utmost respect for Arima but had always perceived him as distant in spite of the warm words and sociable character he projected, therefore his attitude towards Saya had rendered him as humanly as Amon had ever seen him. His words were clear, authoritarian but the hands on her arms caring and overprotective. Without second thoughts, family was the one place you could truly be yourself.

"It´s perfectly fine with me, Arima-san. Due to the recent transfer of Mado Akira-san, I´ve had some spare time on my hands lately," He told her, Saya recognizing the name as Mado Kureo´s daughter. As a daughter of two acclaimed inspectors, she had followed in their footsteps and was now part of the CCG. "Also," Amon continued," I don´t think what your brother is doing is wrong. This just shows how much he cares about you."

"If he cares so much, he should know how much I dislike this."

"Each family member of every CCG inspector knows how to shoot a gun for their own protection. If I may, I believe you should have learnt to do so earlier."

"I see," Saya said, not expecting him to side with her brother in this injustice she thought she was experiencing. Trying to change the subject of discussing Arima Kishou behind the man´s back, Amon took it upon himself to begin her training. "Alright then, Arima-san showed you the correct way to hold the gun I notice. First, you have to take these," He handed her shooting ear muffs which she put on but not before hearing his following instructions. "Now, please relax your shoulders, place your finger on the trigger, aim at a point on the target plank and when you are ready, shoot."

Saya registered all the steps, made sure she completed all of them and pulled the trigger experimentally. Her first attempt was a disaster. She did not even hit the plank, nonetheless the target and the bullet stuck itself in the wall behind. Annoyed, she took off her muffs just in time to hear Amon say:

"Keep going, not many are successful on their first try. Just remember to maintain a comfortable grip and visualize the area the bullet will hit." She accepted, not wanting to waste Amon´s encouragement though she knew very well how much her talent accounted for. Saya was skilled in other domains, specifically in some that did not require such confining discipline. She fired again and again and again until she ran out of bullets, each attempt worse than the previous. Saya simply felt she could not hold the gun well and maybe it was psychological, she did not really want to master the firearm and whenever she shot, the direct rebound from releasing the bullet pushed her back, shaking her entire body. How could such a small thing have so much power, it was beyond her understanding. At her side, Amon was observing the young woman carefully, trying to pinpoint what she was doing wrong to fail so miserably. One of her main problems was that she was giving up too fast and he was not really surprised to see her remove her ear muffs and place the gun on the table, abandoning the fight.

"This is not me, Amon-san. I don´t shoot people. I would never be able to point this thing at someone and shoot, I don´t have the mental strength to do it."

"Not even if it means saving someone important to you?"

Her head jerked at him, noting the man was starting to play dirty. It was not fair to put it that way but his scenario did induce some thinking and did make her reconsider her earlier statement. If her father or brother were ever in harm´s way, she would probably not hesitate. She would most likely miss hitting the aggressor but Saya liked to think she would not stand and do nothing.

Amon took her silence as it really was – an indecisive answer and added more salt to the wound.

"Failing to protect the ones you cherish is the most painful thing in the world, Arima-san."

She had the feeling he was talking about Mado. Saya did not know the entire story but from the bits and piece she could pull together, on the night Mado died, Amon was with him and had somehow failed to prevent his death. For someone as dedicated as Amon, that fact would continue to remain unbearable for the longest of time. She studied his sad profile hoping that what she was about to say would ease his worries a bit.

"I never had the chance to tell you this Amon-san but you have my condolences for Mado-san. I know you cared about him, I too, grieve his death. He was a good man. A bit eccentric, but a good man."

He smiled, agreeing with the ´eccentric´ part. "He truly was."

To make matters even better, Saya reached out for the gun again, a new-found determination taking over her. "Speaking of which," she said, "Mado´s daughter is your new partner, isn´t that right?"

Amon got called out of his walk down memory lane, Akira´s face popping in his mind. "Yes, she is. Akira-san is quite intelligent and skilled, she makes a great addition to our team."

_Well, I hope not that great_, Saya mused, realizing that another prodigy in the CCG would put Uta and Kaneki into more danger than they already were. She raised her hands to meet the target again, still addressing Amon.

"Hmm, you praised her in detail even though I did not ask for it. She must be very pretty," Saya guessed, her tone conspirational enough to visibly embarrass Amon.

"Ah, no, it´s nothing of the sort, Arima-san."

"You don´t have to explain yourself to me, Amon-san, anything can happen," she pushed forward with her assumption, enjoying to see that six feet tall man flustered to the bone.

"Actually, I´m not good with romantic issues at all, I never think of this," He paused suddenly. "Have you ever been in love, Arima-san?"

She shot the gun at that precise moment, the surprise of the question actually helping her hit the target. She had no idea what to be more affected about, the fact that she actually hit that plank or Amon´s inappropriate question.

"I´m so sorry, Arima-san! I don´t know what got into me, I´m not usually this direct."

"It´s fine," she assured him, masterfully avoiding the question. "Well, I think this is it for today. I should get going now, I have some business to attend later."

"Eeeehhhhh? You´re stopping now, when you´ve just managed to successfully hit the target?" An eerie voice rang throughout the training room, pressing both Saya and Amon to raise their heads and search for the source of the intervention. They spotted the third party perched somewhere on a loose rail hanging from the ceiling and looking down at the two interlocutors who felt uneasy about failing to notice his presence.

"Suzuya-kun. What are you doing here?" Amon inquired, providing Saya with the clue to identify who the spectator was. She had heard that name coming from her father and brother´s lips as of late, his recent addition to the team causing quite the controversy. From what Saya could pick up, Suzuya Juuzou was, what investigators liked to call, a ´special case´ and as she witnessed him jump down with a feline's dexterity and approaching them in a silent rhythm, Saya could perfectly see why. He was tall, skinny and dressed strangely, in mock contrast to the formal suit Amon was wearing proudly. She stared into his girly features, his appearance momentarily distracting her to doubt his gender while the painful-looking stitches on his arms and face summoned a feeling of dread within herself. She was inclined to believe he was as good as they said even though he did not look nearly as capable. Whatever the case, he was an investigator and Saya was set on treating him as fairly as she would treat any other member of the CCG. She had been taught better than to judge people based on their appearances in spite of her current urge to vacate the training room as soon as possible and avoid initiating contact with such a scary person.

"Well, Amon-san, I heard our respectable Arima-san sent his sister for a training session and I came to see. It´s too bad it ended," Suzuya complained childishly, sticking his hands in his pockets and leaning back on his heels. Saya hardly knew what to make of him, his complicated character throwing her off balance. She then looked at Amon, replying to Suzuya´s complaint with what she thought was reasonable judgment.

"I´m sorry Suzuya-san, but I´m sure Amon-san here agrees it´s enough training for today."

"Certainly," the mentioned investigator accepted, "we will resume our session tomorrow morning."

Unfortunately for Saya, Suzuya was not done for the day.

"That´s so disappointing. With that level of skill, you won´t be able to kill off any ghouls, Arima-san."

Momentarily, Saya remained silent. In all the years she had visited the CCG headquarters, no one expected anything from her. She was the relative of a very important special investigator and that was it. They never had anything to tell her or deny her and that child there was now degrading her skills and branding her as useless in a fight she was never going to be part of anyways. Even though she had complete knowledge of that fact, she still felt a bit discredited and wondered if Suzuya was under the wrong impression when it came to her.

"It´s alright with me Suzuya-san because I don´t plan on killing any ghouls."

"You don´t?" The younger investigator inquired curiously, his eyebrows rising comically. He came even closer to Saya, walking in circles around her with his arms at his back in a contemplative manner. "Then why are you learning? I don´t understand, miss. Please explain it to me. Why is Arima-san and Amon-san wasting valuable time to teach you something you will never make use of?"

"Because my brother is overprotective and wants to help me," the girl responded. She shuddered at his tone, picking up the affronting provocation within it.

"By teaching you useless things? Is that how family love works? I wouldn´t know," he stated, appealing to his lack of said experiences as guide.

"It´s not useless," Saya insisted, reminding herself that Suzuya had special circumstances even though she did not know exactly what those circumstances were.

"But you said you´re never going to shoot anybody. That **_is_** useless. And a complete waste of time."

"Suzuya-kun," Amon warned, noticing the rising tension in Saya´s body. She stood stiff, her gun grasped tightly between her fingers and clearly not used to be thrown into such a criticizing light. She disliked where the conversation was going and the control he was consciously exerting over her, intelligently exploiting her weaknesses.

"You wouldn´t understand," Saya declared, desperately wanting to put an end to the conversation.

"That´s exactly it! That´s what I´ve been trying to tell you. It´s hard for me to get it, unlike Arima-san, I have no precious little sister to exercise my mercy on." He leaned in, helping her notice the dark circles under his eyes and the vacant flare in them, the possibility of him being insane contouring vividly by the second. Not only was he invading her personal space but he also managed to propel her out of her comfort zone and she ceased feeling safe, even with inspector Amon at her side.

"Stay away from me," she ordered miserably, her tone losing substance by the second.

"Or what? You´re going to shoot me?"

"I might," she tried threatening in vain, immobilized by her own irrational fear. At the sound of that, Suzuya broke into a fit of laughter, his legs proceeding to spin him into an outrageous pirouette, tempting Saya to make a living target out of him. He stopped into a mocking ballet pose, his eyes finally focusing into what Saya could identify as his real self, a lifeless and sinister Pierrot.

"You won´t."

That was all it took for Saya to snap. Who did that psycho think he was, judging her and weighting her brother´s concern for her? He had no right to ostracize her and treat her as if she was guilty of being loved by someone, even if she was the coward he correctly guessed her to be. She tried being nice to him, she really did but then he began challenging her by standards which were not even supposed to be applied to regular people. Special case be damned, she was not going to leave that place more humiliated than she already was.

"I will," she stated, regaining some of her confidence and with it, the courage to lift the gun to Suzuya´s head. Suzuya´s twisted grin faded and Amon himself had his danger sense kick in at what could turn out to be a very messy situation.

"Arima-san, please put the gun down," Amon asked her nicely, his arms positioned defensively at her side. She paid him no mind.

"I will do it. I have nothing to lose," Saya told Suzuya, finally gaining the upper hand in the whole ordeal. "If I shoot you, the worst that could happen is that I´ll get house arrest for two weeks and the whole incident would be covered up anonymously all because I am Arima´s precious little sister," she battled him with his own words in a tone that was by far hypothetical and to prove it, released the safety on the gun thus shocking Amon by how plausible her scenario sounded to be. "I would be bored out of my mind for two weeks locked inside my room, yes, but all this time, you would be dead and long incinerated, on your way to hell."

The circumstances for Amon to experience lack of control were not that many and he surely did not expect for a simple morning spent in the lovely company of Arima Saya to turn into that disaster. It was his fault as well, he should have avoided the meeting between Suzuya and Saya, she was not used to interacting with individuals of his caliber and it should have been obvious it would cause some ruckus. It was far too late now and the only solution Amon was left with was that of preventing the young woman to pull the trigger. He did not think she would actually shoot but something about her reminded Amon of the calm before a storm, that one state any versed investigator would adopt before an important decision. Putting his nervousness aside, Amon looked over to Suzuya, silently pleading him to put an end to the conflict by apologizing or by leaving as quickly as possible yet, he should have known better. This was Suzuya Juuzou he was dealing with. The young man did neither of the two and chose to open door number three. Closing the remaining space between him and Saya, Suzuya slowly brought his hand to Saya´s own, his fingers encircling around her raised wrist and pulling it down. Holding his breath, Amon watched Saya´s trembling arm be tamed by Suzuya, a strange expression plastered on the latter´s pale face as he said the following:

"And they say you´re nothing like your brother."

Saya frowned, hating him for making that statement. Unsatisfied by the result yet secretly at ease, Saya freed herself from Suzuya´s grasp, glaring at him intently. With swift movements, she placed the gun in its case and dropped the lid with a loud thump, hoping to never touch it again.

"I´ll be going ahead, Amon-san," she said instead of a goodbye and directed her feet towards the exit, not one second of attention spared to Suzuya.

As she stormed into the elevator and pushed the button that would take her up to the surface, Saya tried to reconcile with her nerves. Her entire body was burning, denying it was she who had acted so childish just seconds ago. She had lost her temper and composure in front of a child who had not acted as disgraceful as she did and for an instant, feared about what her brother would have to say about it. She needed to calm down.

However, it felt good standing up for herself. She had no idea what mysterious force took over her but it helped. By the time the elevator doors opened to unfold the main lobby of the building, Saya was almost back to her usual demeanor and surely more prepared for the meeting with Uta that afternoon.

* * *

Arima Kishou was staring intently at his computer screen when the door to his office opened and a white-haired youth let himself in. Suzuya walked over to the nearest chair and flopped in it uninvited, stretching his limbs while he was at it.

"Training session completed!" He announced.

"And?" Arima asked, not taking his eyes of his screen but paying close attention to his subordinate.

"It was just as you expected, Arima-san, she´s very bad at it. She did hit the target once but I think it was a coincidence. From what I saw, she wasn´t even trying," Suzuya relented the information. A brief inspection of his stiches let him know one string was in need of immediate care and without any warning, took out his trusty needle and stuck it into the disobeying red thread.

For his turn, Arima remained silent, preferring to ponder on the facts. Suzuya had noted everything accurately, he predicted that his sister would not give her all for a cause she had no interest in and since she was that stubborn, it would take quite a lot of training for her to acquire a decent shooting range. He knew so many things about his little sister and at the same time, he did not know much. Arima pressed play again on the video he had been replaying for the past ten minutes, namely the saved footage from the previous night at the masquerade ball in which Saya could be clearly seen running on the corridors of the hotel holding a masked stranger´s hand. Identifying the man was going to turn out difficult but his instinct told him that it was of utmost importance to find out who he was. For the moment, he would keep the information hidden from his father, not until he got a name at least.

"By the way, Arima-san," Suzuya said, having finished his flesh art, "why did you send me to monitor your sister? Do you not trust Amon-san?"

Arima acknowledged the pertinent question by turning towards Suzuya. "I do but I needed an objective point of view. You see, Amon-san is partial to my sister and therefore unable to judge her fairly."

"Ohhh, I see," the other man mused, placing his elbows on Arima´s desk and supporting his chin in his hands, much like a child listening to a captivating story.

"However," Arima emphasized, pushing his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose, "you too must always be nice to my sister, Suzuya-kun. Girls are to be treated with care."

"Ah!" The younger inspector exclaimed, his head popping upwards in enlightenment. "Shinohara said the same thing to me once!" Not long ago, Suzuya asked his partner about manners towards girls when he witnessed him hold a door open for a female investigator to pass through. Moreover, Shinohara was always highly accommodating towards his wife and Suzuya had wondered about it more than once. Still, he never got the chance to ask his partner the question he was about to direct to Arima. "But why do we have to be careful with girls, Arima-san?" To Suzuya, women were the same as men. They ate the same, they slept the same, they bled the same.

Arima took a few seconds to consider his answer, concocting one that even that particular investigator could understand.

"Because they are fragile and they break."

* * *

There was a bright, torrid sun glaring down on Matsumoto´s head as she stood outside of the Arima residence watching out for any unusual movement. The female trainee stood posted someplace concealed but from where she could efficiently survey all exits of the house and particularly pay mind to a certain member of the family she had been secretly entrusted with. She was halfway through her chocolate bar – an unhealthy habit of hers which helped time pass faster and not as dull – when Arima Saya left the premises of her home.

_Finally_, Matsumoto thought, seeing Saya descend the stairs in a summery green dress which looked like it could be worn on a special occasion but then again, all her clothes had a rather celebratory aspect to them unlike Matsumoto´s over-worn scraps she had at home. Not being one to litter, Matsumoto stuffed the bar wrap next to the other two in her rucksack and cautiously started following the other woman. Frankly, she thought her punishment for endangering the mission the previous night would be a lot harsher, which was why she acted confused when Arima had instructed her to keep an eye on his sister in the afternoon.

Frankly, she had no idea it would be that excruciating.

The girl led her to shopping districts, paraded her around shelves of shoes and coats, drenched her in intoxicating perfumes and gave her no second to drool at the delicious pastries freshly taken out the oven at the best bakery shop in Tokyo. She kept following her, wondering when it was all going to end, hating every passing second of feeling like a brainless girl who only knew the pretty side of life. It was as if she was doing it on purpose, penalizing Matsumoto for intruding on her extra feminine afternoon. Matsumoto felt drained and repelled. How easy life was for Arima´s sister. Compared to her brother, her days were a blessing from above and in contrast to her, Matsumoto was still learning how to survive and keep going. Matsumoto learned about weapons and quinques and martial arts while that pampered princess reveled in dresses and flowers. It was unfair. She could place a bet on anything that at the age of five, Saya was participating in her first ballet lesson whereas at the same age, Matsumoto was experiencing her first day as an orphan, having lost her parents to ghouls and taken into the custody of CCG. She wondered where did all the bitterness surface from and she realized it was probably slight jealousy. Even though she would never admit it, Matsumoto was perhaps jealous of Arima Kishou´s unconditional care for Saya, a figment of which she could not seem to earn from the man. In her hardest, deepest attempts, Matsumoto still managed to fail, as was the case with the night before.

What she was set on admitting though, was that she liked Arima Kishou beyond the feelings of respect and admiration. It started off with those notions, yes, but over time, she became infatuated. Something about him always put her on edge, making her heart to flutter and cheeks to burn at the mere sight of him. In the rare instances he praised her, she felt she needed nothing else from like and if he wanted her to be his sister´s watchdog, she would treat it like any other mission and actually do it well.

Matsumoto turned so dizzy after her entire round downtown with Saya she barely missed her getting into a train towards district ten. She got into the same cart as well, trying to keep her distance away from her but still keep the girl in view but not too well it seemed because right before the train doors closed for departure, she saw Saya descend it at the last second.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Matsumoto exclaimed, helplessly watching as the train started moving leaving the station and Saya behind and thus making her fail yet another mission. By the time Matsumoto would be able to board another train and return, Saya would be long gone.

And indeed, Saya was quick to leave and, jumping into the train that would take her in the completely opposite direction, she tried to hold back a laugh at Matsumoto´s unguarded expression.

_Silly girl, _Saya thought to herself,_ I´ve been around investigators all my life, remember? I may not know how to shoot a gun but I do notice when someone is tailing me. _

Nevertheless, Saya was not out of harm´s way yet. The fact she was being followed only meant her brother was on to something and that was always worrisome. It went without saying that she had envisioned the dreadful future where her brother would find out about the conspiracy behind his back but she hoped it would be much later, after her heart would settle with her decisions completely. She hadn´t even had a first rendezvous with Uta and he was already sending people to follow her. From here on, caution would be her main priority.

Anteiku was warm and not that crowded in the afternoon, serving most of its customers in the morning and wrapping up everything in the evening. She arrived earlier than the established hour for she planned to solve something before diving in her date with Uta. A quick glance at the serving counter told her she was dealing with the same cast that had been present last time. A hospitable manager, two insecure waiters who exchanged glances at her arrival and a very surprised Kaneki Ken. Saya took a seat at the counter, right in front of Kaneki and not far away from Nishiki and Touka. Kaneki stopped his busy process of stacking sugar cubes in a crystal cup, mouth open in feeblessness, not knowing what to say. Giving the last discussion they had the last time Saya was there, Kaneki feared she would never want to see him again.

"That coffee you served me last time…it was good," Saya stated matter-of-factly. "What was it?"

She was talking to him; To a ghoul, to a colleague who had kept the truth away from her and the rest of the world, to a person who nearly shed tears, moved by her generosity. Kaneki blinked his eyes, shaking off the first stages of sobbing and tried his best to remember what he served.

"It was a special brew from Jamaican Blue Mountain beans," he told her, thrilled to hear his selection was inspired enough to make Saya point it out to him. His first days at Anteiku were disastrous in terms of coffee serving and brewing but he eventually got better, to such an extent that Saya was not the only customer to express appreciation.

"It was really a good choice," she repeated her approbation of his taste, no longer weary about talking to him. She had planned this conversation differently in her head but words rolled out of her mouth attesting just how easy it was to talk to Kaneki. It was simply impossible to regard Kaneki with feelings other than camaraderie and freedom, he just did not play the part of a ghoul really well.

"Here, I´ll fix you another cup in a second," he offered, his fingers extended towards a jar full of Jamaican Blue beans.

"Not yet," Saya stopped him by placing a hand on his own, perplexed by how comfortable she felt around him, despite of his recently exposed existence. She retracted her limb, supplying the young man with the explanation. "I´m actually meeting someone here. A ghoul. His name is Uta, you might know him."

Yes, Kaneki knew him, not for long but enough to label him as a person who stayed away from trouble and who had the trust of everyone at Anteiku. From the bits and pieces he could gather during Itori and Saya´s conversation the last time they were at the café, Kaneki understood by himself that there was something going on between those two but he did not know how serious it was. Of all the people to have a connection to ghouls, it had to be precisely Saya-san.

"I am not a hypocrite, Kaneki-san. If I like someone, I like them regardless of what they are, human or ghoul. The reason why I am standing here today is because I gave everything a lot of thought and came to the conclusion that just as there are good humans, there are also decent ghouls out there and I am sure you and Uta are included in that category," Saya spoke her mind, believing everything she put into words.

"I do not know why yet, but in the end, to me, you are still Kaneki Ken. From what I sense about you, you never hurt anyone and I strongly believe you will never hurt me."

"Saya-san…"

"I don´t intend to pretend none of this ever happened and that we will all go back to how things used to be but…I am open to make concessions. Both for you and for Uta."

How fickle life was in its daily gifts. Kaneki feared he would never be able to speak with Saya as naturally as he was currently doing. The least he hoped from her was for Saya to keep her promise about keeping the secret of their identities. But she did more than that. She was talking to him again, almost asking permission. She reinstated their friendship and that made Kaneki grateful from the bottom of his heart.

"If it´s Uta, there´s not much to worry about. He´s well-received here at Anteiku."

"Is he also an affiliate of Anteiku?" Saya asked hopefully.

"Yes, he is," Kaneki decided. Uta was certainly an ally of theirs and Touka-chan and the Manager seemed to trust him, not to mention he was friends with Yomo-san. If there was any ghoul out there Saya could be safe around, I had to be Uta-san. As nice and insightful as he was, Uta would not hurt his friends either.

"Good," Saya replied, having answered some internal questions of her own. Coincidentally, the second she uttered that proclaiming word, the door to Anteiku opened, Uta stepping inside in his usual tribal-inspired wear and dark glasses.

"Am I late?" He questioned in a troubled tone, searching for a timepiece on the walls to recheck the hour.

"No, I arrived earlier. I had something to take care of," Saya said, doing her best to keep her emotions in check. It was as if the more she saw him, the more she became smitten with him. Uta´s intuition dictated it had something to do with Kaneki Ken, reason why he headed for a table far back but still situated near the window.

"I´ll wait for you at the table over there," he pointed at it and after greeting everyone in the shop, made his way towards it.

Saya waited for him to sit down before leaning in for Kaneki to hear her whisper:

"I think I really like him."

"He can still hear you," Touka thundered, drawing attention to ghouls´ heightened senses. Under the disapproving look of Nishiki, Touka placed the milk container a bit too harshly on the counter, spilling a few drops as to remind Saya that as far as she was concerned, she was still not welcomed there. What was Nishiki´s problem, anyways? Could he really not read the situation? It was hard enough before to have the sister of number one ghoul hunter parading in their shop but now that they all knew where they stood, Touka loathed that game they were playing like idiots. She went back to clearing out tables, the action proving out to be therapeutic for her. Next in order to that small addition from Touka´s part, Saya and Kaneki smiled secretly at one another, each of them going in separate directions; Saya to Uta´s table and Kaneki to the cupboard to take out the serving cups for coffee.

"Is everything alright now?" Uta asked Saya as she seated herself across from him, serene smile suppressing the storm inside.

"Yes, it is," she replied. Behind them, the last occupied table in the shop got vacated, another couple exiting the café in tunes of giggles and good mood. Finally the only customers left, Uta took advantage of the situation and removed his glasses, his red eyes now focused on her. His face in full disclosure, Saya instantly got reminded of the previous night and the close proximity they dwelled in until she reached hundreds of heartbeats per second. She dismissed the bashful image from her mind, relying on conversation to keep her composed.

"I´ve been meaning to ask you, is your…" she racked her brains out for the correct term, making a mental note of paying more attention to ghoul semantics from now on, "kakugan always active?"

"Does it bother you?"

"No," she hurried to answer, relieved to hear no traces of offense in his tone. "I was just curious," she added truthfully. It would be nice to walk in plain daylight downtown with him without any shades on or even find out the human color of his eyes for that matter.

"Unfortunately, I can´t control it anymore. It´s a side effect," Uta revealed, bearing an expression she could not read.

"A side-effect to…something you can´t tell me?" She asked and thus guessed the unknown factor behind his telegraphic explanation.

"For now, yes. I think it´s best we take it one step at a time."

She nodded silently, his answer making sense. Barely five minutes into their date and she had already posed an uncomfortable question. In her lap, her hands were fidgeting relentlessly, uncontrollably even. What was it making it so difficult to swallow and just act like she usually did. Could it be her brother´s subtle intervention in her afternoon cause her to talk as if she was experiencing love for the first time or was she simply too much head over heels for him?

He picked up on her anxiety and while there could be hundreds of reasons behind it, Uta felt entitled to ask. To confirm.

"You seem distracted. What is it?"

He sounded concerned and that was the last drop. She went on that date to get to know him better not inconvenience him with her worries.

"Nothing. Oh look, here´s our coffee!"

Kaneki showed up holding two cups of the delicious elixir on his tray, Saya appearing overly excited by the beverages. Unimpressed by his, Uta was not as convinced by her exaggerate effort to put the previous worry behind her.

"You can tell me," he insisted. Could she really? These were her personal concerns brought on by her blood relation to Arima Kishou thus making it unusual to share them with a ghoul. But he had saved her, had even arrived to do it the second time and also gave in to her wishes of playing with fire together and as he stood there unperturbed, confident and above all, willing to help her, Saya unsealed her lips.

"It´s my brother. He had someone follow me this afternoon and knowing him, I am inclined to believe he suspects something."

"Is that why you´re worried? You´re having doubts and perhaps you shouldn´t be here?"

"That´s not it!" She denied, a little louder than she had intended. She had thought he was testing her loyalty but upon seeing his face, she guiltily realized his inquiries were genuine. Uta was simply asking her questions, wishing to know what she really thought and felt about the entire ordeal. She was the one with the worries and so she had to be the one with the arguments. Her fingers curled into fists on the table, preparing herself for confessing a part of her past she had buried deep within herself.

"A few years ago I had my first experience with a ghoul. I left my guard down and got kidnapped by one of your own. As you can imagine, it was quite the scandal. The entire CCG was mobilized for this operation; my own father furious and losing control over everything, the best of investigators scattered around Tokyo following false leads, informants dug out of their hideouts to contribute with rumors. Only my brother remained calm," Saya paused, the dread she had lived that time coming back to her. "From the second our mother died Kishou only saw me as his responsibility so having me snatched from under his nose was unimaginable. To this day I have no idea how he managed it but he chased after me into that hellhole the ghoul kept me prisoner and dragged me out safe and sound. It was that moment that rendered him unreachable to me by disappointing him with my ignorance. I realized how affected he had really been by my kidnapping only when his hair turned white out of shock and an invisible wall was built around him to keep everyone outside."

The following words she breathed out unguarded, bearing her entire soul to her silent listener.

"Of course I´m worried. And conflicted. When I look at my brother, I remember the terror I´ve put him through and I credit myself with the change that occurred within him and yet, here I am betraying him again but I just can´t help it. I just can´t. Because being here with you makes me the happiest I´ve ever been in a while and going home, facing my family after this is extremely painful but you know, even in the echoes of my guilt, I will long to see you again. Do you understand what I´m going through?"

"Saya." She jolted, her heart racing at the first uttering of her name from his lips. She raised her head, grey eyes meeting red and the confidence she saw in them miraculously took a weight off her chest. "Your brother is not here. It´s only you, me and a cup of coffee. I extended this invitation today while being aware of the dangers involved and taking the chance regardless of how much it would complicate my existence. However, it seems to me you have just come to realize it now."

"I am not giving up nor backing out. But this is complicated and crazy and reckless."

"That is true but I am not afraid of your brother."

She frowned, as if she heard the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"You should be."

"If I start being afraid of your brother, I would also have to stop seeing you and I don´t think I am up for it now that I have changed my mind and accepted to meet with you. Should I reconsider?"

Anything but that. She scowled at the coward that she was and decided that gradually, she would have to step forward at the hem of her own life.

"No," she stated, putting out the rest of the dark thoughts in her head. She needed him, not only because of the way he made her feel but because of the courage he gave her, courage she could stem from no other person and for that, it was worth the entire world to find out she was slowly falling in love with a ghoul.

The rest of the evening was spent on small talk, optimism and no more controversy. When the clock stroked eight, they said their goodbyes to everyone at Anteiku and went down the brightly illuminated streets of the district. He had insisted to take her home despite her protests but there was no winning against him. Uta had been attentive to any troubling human scent and heartbeat and when they reached her house, the coast was clear, no person populating the residential area. Saya pondered on what they had discussed earlier between lines and smiles. She would risk it all to see him again, no matter the concerns that kept accumulating. She wanted to tell him that right before he left but a soft hand on her wrist diverted her priorities.

"What are you doing?" She asked, not really minding the contact.

"I´m giving you and your brother something to really worry about," Uta voiced out and pulled her close, his other hand entwining in her hair, directing her face up to kiss her. The scent and taste of coffee invaded her senses strongly until they all backfired on her, succumbing to that man´s overwhelming urge. Saya´s purse slipped away from her hands and fell to the ground defeated, along with what was left of her reasoning, arms numb at her sides. His lips latched onto hers commandingly and enslaving her will to his wishes, resuming her reaction to that of imitating his mouth movement, falling prey to his languid caress. He clung to her, almost holding back from crossing his imposed limit but still claiming more than she had prepared her heart for. He finally pulled away from her slowly, giving the impression the kiss was continuing, grazing cheeks against her own, absorbing her racing breath hungrily. He studied her face for any sign of complaint and when he saw none, he backed away. Not intending to stay for the aftermath nor assert the damage, Uta detached himself completely from Saya and vanished into the darkest alley of the neighborhood, leaving the young woman speechless.

She eventually picked up her purse from the ground and crossed the street on wobbly feet. At that rate, she would stop fearing her brother a lifetime sooner than predicted.

* * *

**A/N:** Hey guys, I´ve uploaded the next chapter! A bit late, sorry but it´s a long one! So it compensates?. Had fun with this one, it´s always nice teasing serious characters. Also, I´ve added Suzuya, I just couldn´t resist, I have a soft spot for him XD.

My followers have increased lately and I wish to thank them with all my heart, I never thought I would get such positive response with this story. Also, my gratitude to the ones who favorited me and the fanfiction.

**And now, on to the reviews!**

**Pheles-sama:** I am honored to know you have sacrificed sleep for my fanfiction but make sure you get plenty of rest from now on, sleep is very important and the fanfiction is not going anywhere! :)) But I understand your enthusiasm, I was also excited to get a review so quickly. I´m glad you liked the other characters I added, I feel like we haven´t seen much of the CCG world so I really wanted to describe it a bit more and it needed some supporting cast. Some might appear, some not, it depends on how the story flows and on how appreciated/hated they are by the readers . . Let me know what you thought about this chapter! Take care!

**Megohime of Mutsu: **Hello again! And yes, I just had to add that line, I´m all about irony in stories and this one has plenty. Poor Daichi, he has no idea his daughter has been lost to a sneaky ghoul for quite a while now XD. And I´m glad you liked the chapter even if it was a bit long, this means you´ll come round for another one again, right? *winks

**Chiharu-angel:** Greetings once more! Frankly, I thought the fanfiction base would be oversaturated with Uta stories but I was quite lucky. This fanfiction gives me the chance to explore their universe as much as I want and I get to describe characters from different perspectives which is why I´m really happy to know it has followers! Thank you so much!

**Vehement Storm:** Hi there, new reviewer! It´s your first post on my fanfiction but have no fear, I wholeheartedly welcome newcomers. Thank you for your wonderful words, it pleases me tremendously to know everyone is in character and I spend a lot of time thinking about how to write a line in way that would suit a character best so your praise is much appreciated. Hope to see your around here again. :)

**Cyleana:** Welcome back! Hope you spent that free Friday having fun :). This chapter was indeed long, I just kept writing and writing until I realized I was going at it without limit XD. I´m glad the latest update made you like Arima, even if just a little, I actually enjoy writing him. He always seems like he knows everything that goes around him and I had to portray that by having him outsmart the ghouls and everyone else, even myself! Before I wrote the chapter, I asked myself "What would Arima do if the party were to be crashed by ghouls? He would certainly know beforehand, that guy´s a legend in the making!" Until next time, keep staying positive and hope to see you again!

**wlfchen:** Hello! Thank you for commenting on this fanfiction and noticing what I´m trying to do with writing and describing everyone. Like you said, the characters´ motivation is sometimes present in the description, to make their lines plausible, you´re right! Also, thank you for liking my OC, she´s still very naïve though but that´s the best part about her and I´m glad you like the style of the story. I look forward to seeing you here again! :)

**Guest (1) :** Hi there! You´re awesome too for reviewing! Hope you liked the ´date´ and the Kaneki bonus scene, no one can really stay mad at Kaneki, he´s adorable! Plus, I need him and Saya to talk again because this will play a small part in the plot in the future but I´m not telling anything, it´s still a secret so you´ll have to continue reading to find out XD. Have a great day/evening!

**sherlaylay:** XDXD Well, before being a ghoul, Uta is a man and as we all know, he´s not as innocent as we thought he was *COUGH. Plus, being able to craft mask that suit customers just shows how observant he is and he would definitively not hold back if he had something to say, even if it puts people in the spotlight. Glad you liked the fangirling moment and hope you enjoyed their scene for this chapter*wink. I´ve added the investigators because Saya is human so she mainly has contact with humans which is why I had to describe her side of the world, with its inhabitants and history so they will continue playing an important part from now on as well. See you next time!

**Guest (2) :** Woah, this is really flattering, thank you! However, I know that there are many great writers on this writing platform and I´m simply satisfied to be a part of it all, with my skills and flaws altogether. However, thank you so much for noting my transitions, I do believe that they are the ones that make a story flow and tie the plot together impeccably. Saya as an OC still has a long way to go but I really hope people find her relatable in her worries and determination. We´ve all been at a crossroads quite a few times, haven´t we? May we talk again!^^

**Guest (3) :** Riiiiiight? He needs to watch that mouth of his, he´s too sly for his own good. :)). But part of why he´s doing it is because he wants what he wants. O.o Who am I deny him that right? Please stop by for this chapter too!

**BrokenTitanium:** Thank you very much, it´s great that Uta is liked once again! As long as I have wonderful reviewers like you guys, I will keep writing. See you in chapter 7!

**Guest (4):** I agree, Tokyo Ghoul needs more love! Which is why I am taking this fanfic seriously so it´s really nice to see yet another fan! Thank you for the review, hope to keep you entertained from now on as well! And this chapter came pretty quickly for you XD.


	7. See me as I am

**Disclaimer**:** **I do not own Tokyo Ghoul. This story is purely fictional.

* * *

**Chapter 7: See me as I am**

Saya was not able to sleep that night. She tossed and turned, even counted sheep but that proved useless when she lost count of her numbers and had to restart the entire process. She used to never have trouble sleeping but if by any chance she did, her mother would always arrive to comfort her, sending her back to the land of dreams with the aid of a fairytale reading. Regretfully, her mother was no longer there to help and her sleeping troubles were now beyond the childish ones such as an indisposed stomach or imaginary monsters under the bed, instead, handsome ghouls with daring tendencies for ravishing her emotionally were the main issue. During the night, Saya had touched her lips tenths of times in disbelief, trying to recall how soft he felt and gentle, handling her with astonishing care.

When morning came, her mind was thoroughly intoxicated with him. She felt so happy now that the initial shock was sinking in and the discovery of her growing affection for him matured into her as her one and only truth that she could not stop smiling. In order to avoid pertinent inquires about her airy mood, Saya chose to take breakfast in her room. However, the excitement had been so intense that even eating became impossible, the first bite she took barely going past her throat and so she settled only for tea, despite her maid´s protests. Considerably inspired and most of all, in need of a productive pastime, Saya retrieved her sketchbook from her desk, along with her trusty pencils. She sketched for a few minutes before an idea occurred to her; from within the wooden chest she had laid right at the feet of her bed, she started taking out, one by one, strips of used material for inspiration. It was helpful to visualize a new design when one had palpable supplies to work with. Festive fabrics such as silk, linen and lace had been carefully arranged on the floor, the materials egressing in extravagant colors of lime, magenta, royal blue and coral. A crimson strip of velvet reintroduced Uta to her thoughts, challenging her concentration like never before. Saya really wished to see him again and apparently, the gods coveted for it also because next to her, her phone rang once signaling a received message. She stretched out for her phone, her cheeks red in anticipation. They were to meet later at his Art Studio if she was available. She did not have a spare second to rejoice about the proposition when a knock came at her door.

"Come in," Saya said.

The door slid aside, her brother entering the room steadily. Her smile froze on her face at his sight, all her anterior worries barging right into her head. The night before, their meeting was delayed since her brother had returned home later than she did, but that morning, it was undoubtedly time for Saya to face her fears.

"You didn´t come down for breakfast. Father was worried, you know how he is," Kishou said, explaining the reason for being in her room.

"I´m fine, I just wanted to laze around this morning. Plus, I feel really inspired to draw today," Saya explained, hoping that the pages spread on the floor would provide the proof for half the reason of her morning absence. Kishou sat down as well, his fingers carefully picking up some of her designs.

"Did you make these?"

Kishou´s interest in her work slightly took her off guard. "I did, actually," Saya confessed, delighted by the prospect of her brother´s admiration. In a flash, she went over to her closet and took out a baby blue dress, which she proudly presented to Kishou. "And this too, I designed and made it."

Kishou regarded it surprised, a warm smile blooming on his face. Saya was really talented, artistically-speaking. Compared to her, Kishou could not even draw a stick figure and he was never good at crafting; as he would discover later, he was more endowed in the practical side of life. His sister though, she could spend hours working on a painting or cutting meters of materials, sowing them into works of art. And that was precisely why she was so precious to him and their father and sooner or later he would find out who the masked stranger at the party was. In her talents and naiveté, Saya seemed almost ephemeral and therefore easy prey to any unbefitting man.

"It´s a really pretty dress, Saya," Kishou complimented. "Why didn´t you choose art school instead of literature, I don´t understand. Father would have accepted. He would do anything for you."

She placed the dress back into her wardrobe, her back still turned to him and she admitted, "I know." It was hard to be reminded of her father´s unconditional love for her when she was trampling on his trust by loving that ghoul. "But you see," Saya faced her brother, her mood slightly improved, "I think I´m better suited as a teacher. This is just a passion, I never thought I would do it as a main occupation even though Aunt Margo encouraged me."

"She did, didn´t she?" Kishou agreed, reminded of their days in Germany, visiting their mother´s sister. Those had been peaceful times. "The number of dresses that woman has is just outrageous."

"Exactly! She had a dress for every day of the week, I was so envious," Saya chirped, nostalgia taking over her. It was nice talking like that with her brother, flying back to those childhood years they had spent outside in rose gardens, protected by their relatives. The talk about Aaunt Margo suddenly sprouted questions long abandoned. "Why don´t we visit Germany anymore? Aunt Margo certainly misses us and we´re always welcomed there."

Kishou sighed, certain that that question had to come. "Because it´s too painful for Father. And frankly," the young man confessed, "it´s still painful for me too". Saya lowered her head, fully understanding the point her brother was making. That place had Adelisa´s essence imprinted all over it. Whenever you went in that house you could spot a treasured object in a corner, her favorite flowers in crystal vases and even her expensive perfume would reign in forgotten hallways. Traveling to that place would only make the siblings miss their mother more, the longing weighting heavy on their shoulders. No longer comfortable with the subject, Kishou arranged the sheets neatly in Saya´s notebook, intent on calling up attention to something other than artistic flair.

"Don´t be late for shooting practice today. Inspector Suzuya will attend to you this afternoon."

The change in topic had not been welcomed, especially that topic, and if anyone asked her, the words ´Suzuya´ and ´shooting´ had no place to be in the same sentence.

"I really don´t think I should be doing it, I´m sure Amon-san told you I am hopeless."

"It´s too early to conclude. You´ll have to keep practicing."

"At least assign someone else to practice with me, I don´t want that strange person near. I don´t like him," she tried negotiating, failing to win as she was about to see.

"Suzuya-kun is a very capable member of CCG and it´s good for you to experience different teaching methods."

"But he really puts me on edge, I don´t want to have anything to do with him."

"Stop behaving like a child, Saya."

And there she encountered the wall. There were several levels of bargaining with Kishou and she had just exhausted the last one. Whenever he took on that mature, resolute air around him, nothing could change his mind and all that was left was to comply with his wishes. Her fingers curled in the materials in her lap, not so quick to dismiss her stubbornness, even if he was going to hear about it much later.

A ring disturbed the silence and a flash of light illuminated her phone briefly for the second time that morning and Saya pretended not to notice. As expected, Kishou was quick to observe:

"You´re not going to check who it is?"

She made herself busy with the fabrics, stacking them on top of each other, saving time to come up with an answer.

"It´s probably one of my colleagues. She´s been pestering me to go out with her this afternoon but since I have shooting practice, it´s impossible for me to honor her invitation," she said, trying to appeal to his sense of guilt.

"You should go. Shooting practice is just an hour long, you have plenty of time to meet your colleague. I don´t think it´s healthy to stay cooped inside the house all day."

"It´s not that extreme, I did go out yesterday."

"Really? I was not aware."

_Liar, _Saya thought. Why else would that girl from the party be following her if she weren´t under direct orders from him? She wondered how much her brother knew and how.

"Still, I insist," Kishou told her, appearing as if he was trying to make amends to her but Saya knew better than that. Everything Kishou did had a manipulative characteristic to it, this case being no exception. If he planned to send someone else to follow her or tag along personally incognito, why not play the same game and give him what he wanted.

"Alright, I will go then. Why don´t you come with me? My friends are always complaining I never bring you along. You´re very popular with the female compatriots of my university, Kishou, you should join us."

"Ah, another time maybe," Kishou declined, feeling aversion towards the whole idea of having groups of girls fawning over him.

"Next time. Promise?" She asked for his word, certain she secured a free afternoon for herself, no supervision included.

"Of course," Kishou said and stood up, thus ending his morning visit to his sister. "I will see you in the evening, Saya."

"Have a good day at work, Brother."

As soon as he was gone, Saya snatched her phone to check her message from Uta:

_Bring your sketchbook. _

* * *

With her sketchbook gripped tightly at her chest, Saya entered the Art Studio. She had visited that place so many times before it was becoming to feel like home to her. Every mask, every chair, every nook and cranny was compartmentalized in her memory, the studio´s entire ambience calling out to her.

She found Uta working on his latest display of masks, focused entirely on placing his latest creations on stands of various sizes. His back was turned to her but Saya had no doubt he was well-aware of her presence and even the number of steps she took before reaching his spot. He finally came face to face with her, smiling invitingly. Minutes ago she was frantically worrying about what sort of expression to show to him after that unforeseen kiss but Saya understood she needn´t worry when her own lips curved into a matching beam. Everything was flowing naturally when she spent time with him; Saya had never realized love for someone could be so fulfilling. It was as if distance from him gripped something away from her heart that could only be reinstated only in his proximity. Their relationship had an unusual start, plagued by anxiety and refusal and voracity but as of late, it gradually fell into place, drawing the both of them closer into a natural mutuality. Despite of what he was, there was no longer fear nor uneasiness towards his persona, only an ever-growing affection and need to know more, touch more and feel more. As hopelessly romantic as it sounded, Saya reasoned she belonged with him, bound to discover completion in his arms only. They were at polar opposites, yes, she was aware, but that reality only famished her more; if it were him, she would allow Uta to taint every living cell in her body and mind, no matter the costs. At least, that was what she thought.

"I hope you don´t mind I suggested we meet here," Uta said instead of a greeting, checking to see if she was alright with the proposal.

"Not at all, I really like this place," she assured him. What was not to like about it? For an aspiring designer such as herself, being surrounded by masks of all forms and motifs was a great source of inspiration.

"I figured it would be better to avoid public places for a while, at least until your brother drops some of his suspicious."

"Oh, my brother is eternally suspicious," Saya chuckled. Kishou was overprotecting and it was flattering at times but frequently speaking, it was terrifying. The moment he would bug her phone with a tracking device was not too far into the future but today she was safe, she had thoroughly checked her gadget before leaving home. "But for now, we´ll settle with your studio. And don´t worry, I was careful, I changed two cabs and made sure I wasn´t followed."

Uta´s eyes locked onto hers, as if seeing her for the first time. Maybe he had misjudged her innocence and there was more to her than mindless courses of action. The fact that she was in love with him did raise some questions in regards to her mental health but then again, it raised the same questions for him. They were both in that same whirlwind of emotions, putting sentiments before logic.

"You´ve got everything covered, don´t you?"

"It´s an instinct of mine. I don´t want to expose this place, like I said, I like it here," Saya repeated, the air around cut off as Uta walked closer to her. She closed her eyes tightly, visualizing another kiss and was vaguely disappointed when he went past her to take a seat at his working table. Uta gestured for her to join him, her chair already prepared next to his. She sat down, curiously looking at the array of crafting instrument gathered on the table and even more surprised when he pried the notebook out of her hands and flipped through it with obvious interest. He made sure to allocate a definite amount of time to each of her designs, handling each page with care.

"This is better than I expected, you really have an eye for designs. Did you make some of the dresses?"

"I did, actually," Saya replied, wishing they were home in her room and therefore able to show him what she had shown Kishou that very morning. She was daydreaming of course, in her family´s eyes it was inacceptable for a man to be in her room without prior introduction, nevertheless a ghoul.

"That´s good. Then you´re no stranger to crafting," Uta said, sounding pleased.

"Not at all," Saya confirmed, wondering what the man was up to when he pulled some of the materials and instruments closer to them.

"Since there isn´t much to do here and it´s dark and confined, I thought we can collaborate on something as fellow artists." His hand also went for her notebook, placing it parallel to the instruments. "Maybe we could combine our passions together and create a mask inspired by one of your dresses. What do you think?"

Saya´s eyes lit up, enchanted by the possibilities. It was a great idea and an even better one since it was suggested by him. She would have never come up with such a concept and the fact that he took the time to think of such a collaboration simply proved how much he took her feelings in consideration, along with her occupation and talent. Most of the men she had the pleasure of dating never really cared about her side passions and opted to impress her with the conventional methods of flower offering and chocolate tempting. She nodded, enthusiasm taking over. "Alright! What do we start off with?"

First, they settled on a dress they both fancied and then sketched the outline of the mask, suggesting materials and adding various adorning elements to it. They discussed size, materials and shape and finally produced the draft while taking all suggestions into account. Between critical disagreements and surprising solutions, they did not dismiss compromises and always respected each other´s opinion, rendering the entire action of designing the mask as a triumphing success. Having finished the model, Uta bent down to retrieve something of specific shape from underneath the table and placed it in front of Saya.

"This a mold. We use this to give shape to the mask and to keep it in place while we work on it."

"Ah! Much like the pattern I use for dresses," Saya affirmed, recognizing the usefulness of the piece.

"That´s right, it´s not much different. Here, hold this end," Uta instructed Saya to grasp on to one side of the leather strip he handed her and began cutting according to the measurements they took earlier. Together, they spent the entire afternoon sowing, painting and applying decorative elements to the mask until it perfectly resembled the motif of the chosen dress. While working, they spoke about their lives, their upbringing and beliefs and by the time the mask was resting finished in Saya´s hand, she was not only holding onto something they both created but had also found out more about the problematic ghoul she was in love with.

"We did it," Saya whispered, fascinated by the colors of blue and black combined into a new leather identity. Beyond its beauty, the mask stood witness to a wonderful afternoon spent in each other´s company and the artistic level that connected the both of them. Their skill was probably the only thing they had in common yet as Saya stared into the infinite perfection they had managed to pull together, she realized that was probably all they needed.

"We did well teaming up," Uta said, equally enthralled.

"Can we display it?"

"Sure. Wherever you want."

Saya did not wait to be told twice. She left the spot besides Uta to find a proper place for their joint project. She pinpointed a great one next to a red mask, both of them complimenting each other through their vibrant colors but was slightly confounded when Uta went to remove it.

"Anywhere but there."

"What´s wrong with that stand?"

"It´s next to a custom mask for an Aogiri Tree member, I don´t believe you want it displayed next to it," Uta revealed, thinking that an explanation of such nature would be enough to quench the young woman´s curiosity. On the contrary, it did the opposite.

"Aogiri…Tree?" Saya asked, her eyebrows furrowing in contemplation. That sounded like a name attached to something but she had no clue what it represented. Uta was evenly astonished, having thought that her upbringing in the CCG world would provide a certain insight in the world of ghouls but perhaps such information was being kept from family members.

"I see your brother is very careful about the things he talks around you," He thought out loud, placing the mask as far away as possible from its initial spot. "Aogiri Tree is a ghoul organization operating in the 11th ward. They are currently expanding their influence and rumors say they want to control all districts and eliminate all investigators."

"They sound dangerous," Saya stated, distressed by how complicated matters were even among ghouls. Neither her brother nor father had spoken a word about this organization and with good reason, they were probably their main opposing force – a fact not needed to be revealed to civilians.

"They are. No one stays alive after clashing with them and they kill off both ghouls and investigators, no special treatment to either." They were a troublesome bunch and what was worse was that their members were increasing and their strength intensifying with each passing day. One needn´t have to be a genius to understand they had the potential of bringing down the apparently undefeated CCG if they mobilized specifically for it. However, that was something Saya had no use to know Uta decided, and taking her by the hand, guided her back to their chairs. Her curiosity had been thoroughly awakened though..

"But why would they do something so awful?"

What a rhetorical question to ask, even coming from her. "Because the strong prey on the weak, Saya," Uta told her, his hand pulling her close until she fell into his lap. "Don´t worry about this, it doesn´t concern you." It really didn´t, anxiety made her pretty face distort. His index finger trailed lightly on her forehead thus dispelling her frown and bringing her face closer to his, he captured her in a kiss. She conceded to his physical request, appearing less timid than the first time he tasted her. When Saya broke off the kiss, she looked at him with inquiring wide-eyes.

"You said we would take everything one step at a time."

"I tend to say many things when I´m with you and somehow, I end up disobeying all my restrictions," Uta smirked. He kissed her again, thoroughly enjoying her scent on his skin and the way her fragile body fit into his arms. If it weren´t for her, Uta would have never known how rewarding it was to wish for someone to that extent.

It required grand effort for him to retract his hands and allow her to retreat to the safety of her chair but he managed to do it in the end. As a promise to himself, he focused on the verbal part of their afternoon, exchanging opinions about art supplies and sketching more, each taking turns in experiencing each other´s craft. Even parting with her had become harder than he remembered but undeniably necessary. He also stood up when she announced she had to go, fully intending to take her home but after tenths of well-presented reasons as to why he shouldn´t, Saya explained she would rather risk taking a cab alone than have him parading with her in her residential area. They kissed again before she left, this time Saya being the one to initiate the kiss, building up courage and recharging for the time she would spend away from him. She said her goodbyes and left the studio before dark ascended completely, her assigned cab seen at the horizon, driving closer and closer to her. She reached out for her phone, certain it was full of missed calls from her brother who probably had plenty to admonish her about since her shooting practice was completely ignored for the afternoon but her fingers found nothing of the sort. She shrugged, figuring she had left it in the studio and went back inside in search for it but not before instructing the cab driver to patiently wait in the safety of his car.

* * *

She left and he remained alone in the confinement of his own studio. Uta thought it would be better after she was out of sight but his ghoul nature proved him the contrary. His hunger only intensified with her absence and as experience dictated, it would only get worse. Taking steps that resembled leaps, Uta made his way to the basement, to a securely shut door which he kept secluded from the rest of the world and pulled it open. Inside, a man squirmed on the floor, his hands and legs tied painfully with rope. Kneeling to his level, Uta grabbed him by his dirty collar and swiftly removed the tape from his mouth. Gasping for air and for anything that could prolong his life even by a second, the man pleaded in arduous sobs.

"Don´t do this, I beg you! Please, release me, I have people who care about me. "

"Don´t we all?" Uta inquired, the possibility of releasing the unfortunate human never crossing his mind. Mercilessly, his hand plunged through the man´s chest to extract his heart and therefore put an end to his suffering. In his earlier days, he preferred them screaming and running for their lives but **_she_** had been there just moments ago and that was the least he could do to honor their time spent together. Ever since he met her, his hunger had become insatiable once again – a direct result of his exerted self-control. He hadn´t imagined kissing her would have such a perilous effect on him. He felt he was only grazing at the surface, sampling a shell, licking the outside package of a bon-bon, forever forbidden to reach the core. It was overwhelming and unhealthy even and he was addicted to it, as harmful as it turned out to be. The first time he kissed her that evening, he had to go hunt for two healthy men in order to tame his hunger and preserve his temper, his inner ghoul taking over. And now he was doing it again. His teeth sunk into the man´s heart, tearing pieces of meat, swallowing them intact, simply shuddering at the thought of her. He wanted her so bad, in all possible ways, all ending with the same conclusion, explicitly him plunging his face into her exposed abdomen, warm with rivers of blood. He would love it and hate himself for it so much he would not know what to do afterwards. The only way to keep himself in check was to feed more, precisely after he parted with her, when his brain was intoxicated beyond measure. He was new to this, to the whole concept of loving a human being and it took incredible restraint to differentiate between love and hunger even though those two were rapidly morphing into the same thing. When his mouth was on hers he desperately wanted to nip her lips, just a bit, just to have a taste but he always stopped himself at the last second, understanding that once he drew blood, everything would be over and she would be no more. To Uta, it became clear why so few ghouls ever attempted a relationship with a human; it was insane, unsafe and ended in a bloodbath. Where would one even draw the line? He refused her the first time precisely for that reason.

But Uta was trying, struggling even to preserve their statuses intact. Saya was not food, she would never be food and he would do everything in his power to have her come to his studio numerous times in the future and smile at him in that way that rendered him speechless and unknowingly defeated at her feet. He was happy with her. Alive. Dare he say, in love. For that to continue, he would prey on the entire country if needed.

The man´s heart currently digesting in his stomach, Uta chose his arm as a main course, easily tearing it apart from the limp body. He had been so focused on his eating and conflicting thoughts that by the time he sensed her behind him, it was already too late. What was she doing back there? Had she returned to tell him something or retrieve something she had misplaced perhaps? It did not matter, he was covered in blood and she stood there traumatized. Her eyes traveled from the corpse on the floor to his bloodied hands and up to his face, her mouth opening several times and yet no words coming out. But her expression spoke plenty. Saya had entered a nightmare, sinking in a sea of red, an anchor tied to the feet that were to give away.

"What are you doing?" She managed to voice out, raspy and foreign.

"Nourishing myself," Uta replied to her pointless question, sounding a lot meaner than he intended.

"But…Kaneki," she gulped, fighting to find the right words, "Kaneki said you were an affiliate of Anteiku."

"Affiliate? That´s a rather strong word," Uta said, that answer sounding like something Kaneki Ken would say. It was no wonder those two got along well, their naiveté reached alarming levels. "They are my acquaintances, yes, but that does not mean I have the same lifestyle they do. I don´t sit around and wait for human scraps."

"Human scraps," Saya repeated, her body shaking in repulsion at how cruel the statement sounded. Kaneki told her she could trust him and so she immediately determined he was one of them, surviving on human flesh without tainting his hands with guilt and immoral crimes. She thought she was prepared for the thought of him eating humans but as he stood there painted in blood, appearing almost comfortable in it, adoring it, Saya felt sick to her stomach. He had killed someone brutally right after she left and he was finding no excuses for it and while that did make sense, it also disgusted her to the bone. What was worse was that she was still there, waiting for explanations she did not want to hear and he would not stop talking and the room would not subside in its reek of blood.

"Yes, human. When I am hungry, I hunt and feed, Saya. Or have you forgotten what I am? Have you also forgotten that while I am here eating, your kind is out there terminating the lives of my own? It´s the world we live in and you and I were supposed to be prepared for it, do you remember?"

"Yes, I do!" She cried out, confused by the unending chain of defiant questions. She closed her eyes, seeking inner willpower to get through the whole tragedy. "But that man, is he guilty of anything? Have you killed an innocent person?"

Uta shook his head, at a loss. Saya was missing the point and falling deeper into shock. "I don´t know, I don´t do a background check on my victims. If they cross my path then we can safely assume it´s not their lucky day."

"But killing him just like that, without even knowing…"

"Then why don´t you tell me? Here, give it a try," Uta prompted, presenting Saya with the severed arm. "See for yourself if he tastes innocent or not."

She stared at him awe-struck, unable to believe her ears. What was that side of him she did not know? That predator fragment looming at the back of his eyes, his long limbs which concealed brute strength beyond understanding, the blood trickling thinly at one side of his mouth, mocking the earlier feeling of safety she had around him – all of it was pounding Saya into the ground, weak and disoriented. He neared her, the bloodied arm raised to her chin and when she imagined that still fresh arm making contact with her skin, an old-suppressed instinct of hers kicked in and she forcefully slapped him. Her palm across his face, his head turned on impact, waking him up from his momentary distress. It was a pity. Only minutes ago he was congratulating himself for sustaining the situation under control and now had lost composure when the state of affairs was reversed. Why was it that humans always turned so hysterical and acted as if they were the only ones to get hurt?

"I´m sorry," she breathed out instinctively, momentarily fearing his reaction. She had prepared herself for retaliation since in that situation, provoking someone would come at a cost but he simply stepped away from her, an expression of supreme sadness compressing his features.

"Don´t look at me like that, Saya. I would never hurt you, that much I can promise."

Deep down inside, she knew. Saya believed him but no longer had the capacity to listen to him nor be in the same room with him for that matter. She sensed a feeling of deja-vu as she turned to leave, run actually, stumble outside into the open air whereas Uta released his frustration on the dead member he held in his hand, throwing it at the nearby wall. He drew in a long breath, taking a few seconds to calm down and tucking a strand of hair behind his pierced ear, he went to pick up the abused arm from the floor.

"It´s not like me to waste food."

At the exact instance, Saya jumped into the cab, stating to the impatient driver the address she was to be brought at. As the engine started and the car drove off, Saya burst into tears.

* * *

She was probably not coming. Suzuya had spent two hours staring at the ceiling seated on a bench in the silence of his assigned training room. He had been waiting and waiting and for once he made it in time for his task but no one showed up. Eventually, someone came in.

"Suzuya-kun, what are you doing here?" Inspector Shinohara asked, his hands crossed over his chest.

At the sight of his partner, Suzuya helped himself up with the aid of his elbows, his feet dangling lightly at the side of the bench.

"Waiting for Arima-san´s sister. We were supposed to practice shooting," the younger male answered in a tone of boredom. He hadn´t been exactly ecstatic about the news but he could not refuse doing a favor for Arima-san.

"Two hours ago. What are you still doing here?" The investigator inquired while taking his spot next to Suzuya, his tall built towering over Suzuya´s slightly modest one.

"Weeellllll, I thought she might show up. I don´t want to disappoint Arima-san."

"I see," Shinohara pondered. "Could something have happened?"

Suzuya glanced over to his partner who could swear saw a segment of delight in his eyes at the thought of that. "Probably not. I think she doesn´t like me, Shinohara-san. Too bad, I was planning to be extra nice to her today," the young man purred, causing Shinohara to doubt Arima´s judging skills. Suzuya was a good kid if you got to know him but still very raw around the edges and consequently daunting to someone as refined and innocent as Arima´s sister. Whatever that other special investigator was planning, Shinohara could not even begin to understand.

"She´ll come around," Shinohara smiled, genuinely believing in Suzuya´s power to make friends. "That aside, if you´re still waiting here doing nothing, at least do it while reading these," he instructed, placing a stack of files on the boy´s knees. "You need to stay updated on the binge eater case."

"Ehhh? But this is boring, Shinohara-san. More importantly, when am I getting my very own quinque? I can´t keep using knives on ghouls, it´s not that fun."

"That´s why you have to read the files, Suzuya-kun. The sooner you do, the sooner you´ll get promoted and rewarded with a quinque. It´s pretty reasonable, right?"

"How about this?" Suzuya suggested, leaning in and bumping shoulders with the older man. "You read the files and when we´re on the battle field you just point and I´ll go kill."

Shionhara sighed, his bear-size hand patting his protégée on the head with sincere affection."I know you hate this Suzuya-kun, but it doesn´t work this way." In order to show the boy he was not being left off the hook, he opened one of the files. "You need to be informed about everything that´s happening in our district and the rest as well. You have to be observant, intuitive and always be one step ahead of everyone or else we´ll never be able to catch this binge eater. Though," he paused, "she´s probably long gone from this ward."

From within the folder, Rize´s picture glistened under neon lights, reflecting tones of purple from her long, loose hair.

"How so?" Suzuya inquired, suddenly interested in Shinohara´s cryptic theory.

"I don´t know yet. Some things aren´t adding up."

Suzuya peeked down at the picture once more, noticing Rize´s smile. It reminded him of his Mama and of the same way she used to grin when he was a scrapper at her own slaughter house. Thanks to her, it was extremely easy for Suzuya to identify ghouls and all it took was precise scrutiny. Ghouls always appeared to be the most natural of them all, simply on top of the situation, with no care in the world.

They looked too sweet, too innocent. Too human.

* * *

**A/N:** Hello everyone! Here´s a chapter for you guys, featuring mostly Uta and Saya. A lot of drama with these two, eh? But really now, this is how relationships are, they have their ups and downs, right? Right? . And if we think about it, Uta eats humans which would be unsettling to people, or so I like to think. You can imagine it´s not something to deal with easily nor accept which is why it makes it even more difficult for Saya, who comes from a family of investigators, to be totally on board with it. If only her father knew she is in cahoots with a ghoul! And yes, I used ´in cahoots´, I love old-fashioned English! XD

To me, their nature is a big deal so I wanted to emphasize it in the story too.

And I suppose we have the power of love at play because from the way I see Uta, he would not have the necessary patience to deal with all of this. I would rather see him saying something among the lines of: "You know what sweetie? The hell with everything, this is too complicated! You stay put right there and after I finish eating this dude over here, I promise to make you my second meal for the day, oki-doki?" Oh Uta, you´re so crafty (see what I did there?). Ok, enough lame jokes for today XD.

**And I reached more than 100 followers and got myself 70 faves, whooohooo! Thank you everyone! *hands cake and needy hugs***

**And now for my lovely reviewers!**

**splitice:** Hello again! You have my sincere gratitude for stopping by again and reviewing, it means a lot to me to know my readers´ opinions. I hope you´ll stay with me and this story for the long run and may I see your name in my review box again. Take care!

**MuffinLord13:** Thank you! 3 I´m sending you love as well, see you next time too! Though….*cough….after this chapter, who knows? :))

**Pheles-sama:** Well, this time I updated earlier, I managed to find the time so you have no excuse to go to bed late missy! XD No, I´m kidding, you can sleep whenever you want. And they eventually had to kiss, all that pent-up energy between the two, I was glad to get it out of the way. You´re right, they need to be really cautious and be careful where they go and who they meet. Kishou did not see the kiss fortunately; if he had he would have shot Uta from the terrace XD so Uta dodged a bullet there. Literally. Anyways, it´s great to know Suzuya´s addition is appreciated, I like writing him though he is a bit challenging. But that only makes me write him more. Talk to you later!

**Chiharu-angel: **Thank you, my dear reviewer! How about this chapter, did it meet your expectations? I hope to hear from you again!^^

**Flatwaffles29:** I understand completely, even in real life some people are not what we thought they were so having the same outcome in a manga was a great choice for me. When I first saw Uta, I thought he was there in the story just to fit the cool character pattern so imagine my surprise in the end when I realized it was more to him than met the eye! You and me both, I think we like this version of him better! Glad to know you like how the story is progressing and thank you so much for the compliments, they warm my heart! I look forward to hear your opinion on this chapter. :)

**wlfchen:** Don´t be speechless, you have to tell me your thoughts about the latest chapter too! ^^ I thought Saya needed some training, especially after what happened at the party. Plus, Kishou is manipulating her, taking away the reasons as to why she can´t protect herself from a ghoul if the case arises. And you´re right, she´s not that naïve as the story portrays her, she´s just really trusting of people and never faced a crisis on her own since she has people around her to carry the burden. She will have character development and won´t stay as ignorant as she is today, I can promise you that. Thank you so much for your wonderful words, just as you´re waiting for a new chapter each week, I´m also waiting for a review from you in my mail inbox so once again, thank you!

**sherlaylay:** Aww, you´re perfect for being so honest and generous with your review! Many thanks, really. You´ve been with me since the beginning so I can´t tell you how happy I am to know this chapter was right up your alley! I was a bit unsure about how well I´ve managed to grasp Suzuya´s character his quirks and all but now that you and others have assured me it was good, I can finally relax :)). There will be some complications in Uta and Saya´s relationship but it´s no fun otherwise, they have to make some sacrifices if they want to be together. Fingers crossed you like this chapter too, milady!

**Megohime of Mutsu:** Hello dear, welcome back! :) Her brother is very worried, he is afraid some mean man is going to take his sister away from them though he has no idea that man is a ghoul. I guess you never think it could happen to you nor a family member so Kishou is not quite there yet, he´s not sure of what he really knows. And since they are siblings, Saya and Kishou share some common traits, though I want her to be more like her mother. Kishou learns and imitates what Adelisa taught while Saya subconsciously inherits it, if that makes sense? Oo. And yes, Uta scored that night! He can be both a gentleman and a dog! As for his eyes, it is never explained in the manga but I have my own theory which I will explain later in a chapter. I mentioned it in my story because I believe it´s normal for people to ask that sort of question, Saya would certainly want to know the reason why his kakugan is always active. And I do too! :)). Catch you later!

**VictoriaPie:** Can I have some of that pie to go with the review as well XD? Thank you for your thoughts on the chapter, I´m also happy to know you´re liking Saya´s character. And yay for Suzuya, I have big plans for that boy! Just don´t spoil the others, your predictions always turn right! *wink-wink Talk to you again and take care!

**keepitrel:** Hello there, welcome to the story! Uta is such a smooth operator, sometimes I get overwhelmed by how much freedom this character has. And Amon, well, life on the job is not that easy! And he´s going to have his hands full with Akira XD. Hope to see you again!

**SchokoDelphin:** Thank you very much, I shall keep writing! Please continue to support me in the future as well!^^

**Hikiri:** Greetings my new reviewer! We have more surprises on the way! And you´re absolutely right, these girls are so fortunate, it makes me wanna jump in the fanfiction world! Luckily for me you liked the kiss scene, I feel so awkward writing these! I want to make them classy and in the end I get lost in the process and when I re-read what I wrote I´m terribly confused. But if it did the job, I am pleased! May we speak again! Take care!


	8. Love is blind

****Disclaimer**:****** I do not own Tokyo Ghoul. This story is purely fictional.

* * *

**Chapter 8: Love is blind**

Keeping things as per usual was of utmost importance. In the several days that had followed the latest ´incident´ in Uta´s Art Studio, Saya did her best to act normal. She ate habitually, she socialized standardly and acted in conformity with her regular behavior. On the surface, nothing was out of the ordinary. On the inside, however, she thought she was losing her mind. Every waking second of her day was spent meditating on what had happened and on analyzing her reactions, his words, her tolerance to his black sense of humor and the manner in which the entire scene had unfolded. Saya´s body went about normally with her daily activities while her brain rotted with questions regarding her half-assessed determination and the uncertain bleak future that currently loomed over the two of them. In order to release some of her frustration she diligently attended shooting practice under the watchful eye of Investigator Amon Koutaru and while she was nowhere near acceptable, she was making a progress. If the target was immobile, she could hit it correctly on a good day.

It was not even necessary for her to go to such lengths to try and hide her distress since lately, her father and brother were barely spending any time at home. It seemed that from the moment Inspector Shinohara and Suzuya were transferred to district 20, a war had unleashed in district 11 from where said Aogiri Tree organization was pulling the strings and wiping out CCG members at an alarming speed. A state of danger had been spread around Tokyo and citizens were advised to exercise caution and keep away from exposed areas. Investigators from all districts were mobilized to collaborate and put an end to the unexpected rise against humanity, summoned to participate in regular meetings to discuss annihilation strategies and thus keep the rest of the people in the dark about what was really happening. That particular fact was causing Saya to feel like an even terrible person that she usually thought she was. She hadn´t even spared a second of thought to her family; they were out there fulfilling their duties, her father, retired as he was still contributing with ideas and her brother risking his life on the battlefield, trying to keep humanity safe and all she could think about was Uta and her feelings getting hurt. When did she become that person, absorbed in her life only and deaf to other people´s righteous teachings?

She walked over to her cheval floor mirror, her hands gripping its sides as she stared into it and miserably asked her reflection:

"Who are you?"

She did not recognize herself, moreover, she hated the blonde young woman that was gazing back at her in helpless anguish. That woman was not her. She was not someone to disregard her family´s wishes nor lie shamelessly to people´s faces. She was not someone to fall in love and then retreat at the smallest of troubles either. When the answer failed to reflect and the face on the other side gave no sign of illumination, Saya pushed the window backwards, the smooth surface breaking into hundreds of pieces at her feet. She did not even flinch though the breaking sound had been loud and sharp. She even hoped that some of the shards would rebound into her skin and wake her up from the deep sleep she so defensively fell into. But there was no such generosity from physics, only a wild storm of steps mounting the staircase as a female maid barged into the room to assess the damage.

"Arima-san!" The maid shouted in horror, taking in the confusing sight in front of her. Her employer´s daughter was just standing there in the middle of the room, passively looking down at the broken mirror. "Are you alright?!"

Saya resorted to silence, not struggling much to come up with a plausible explanation.

"What could have happened? Did you trip?" The maid asked, herself understanding that such an idea made no sense.

Saya watched how Maya, their loyal servant who had been with them for six years ran to her side, carefully inspecting Saya´s dress and hands for any traces of blood or cuts. Maya was such a kind-hearted woman, Saya had liked her from the first day she had been introduced to her, thrilled to have someone with a name similar to hers in the house. When she was younger, they even composed a song about their names, Saya wondered if her maid still remembered. She used to tell Maya everything but time polished her to act more lady-like and keep her troubles to herself. She wanted so much to tell her about everything but could she? How could she tell her that she was in love with someone who fed on humans to survive and who would devour her on the spot if given the chance? Just the thought of Maya getting hurt by a ghoul was unacceptable, she was a good woman, who had her own family and could not harm anyone, for no matter the reason. Yes, ghouls had to eat to survive but the ones at Anteiku at least tried to blend in with humans, adapt to their living style, even force themselves to eat people who were already dead and yet Uta was not one of them. He did not fast, he did not wait, he simply went and killed. Tomorrow it could be Maya. A friend from school. The librarian who was always nice to her and recommended only the best of books. What was she to do? Arrange a schedule so that she would never again walk in on him eating, give him a list with all the people that were off limits, or better yet, let him loose in a prison facility where murderers deserved to be livestock for ghouls? She understood the error of her ways but at the same time, she could not forsake him for it. Uta was different, her heart screamed it over and over again, covering the voice of reason. And to him, she was different too, wasn´t she? He never hurt her, she never felt unsafe with him. He risked his life to save her and went against his nature to try to be with her, no matter the sacrifice.

"This won´t do," the maid decided, inspecting the shards on the floor. "It´s best I take you downstairs and come clean this up afterwards. Alright Arima-san, come along and please watch your step."

Saya allowed herself to be guided from the pile of shards, toeing with tenacity over the harmful floor. Still holding her mistress´ hand, the maid accompanied Saya in the salon, calculating which broom would better do the cleaning job. Something caught her attention as she helped her mistress take a seat on the couch and thinking it would probably cheer her up, Maya handed her a bundle. Saya took the bundle with inquiring eyes.

"Someone brought this for you a while ago, Arima-san. It´s lovely, I couldn´t help but check, you know the rules," Maya explained, invoking the Arima house protocol which stated that all packages were to be inspected before given to the recipient. With graceful gestures, Saya removed the silk cloth to reveal a familiar object. Her eyes widened as she recognizes the mask she and Uta had crafted together. She jumped to her feet, urgently asking the other woman.

"Who brought this?"

Maya brought her finger to her chin, contemplating her answer. "Hmm, a young man, he was wearing dark shades so I don´t know if I´ve ever seen him before. He was a bit scary though, is he one of your acquaintances, Arima-san?"

Saya answered the question with an inquiry of her own.

"When did he bring it?"

"A few moments ago, miss. I was just closing the door when I heard something break upstairs and hurried over."

Without waiting to hear the rest, Saya ran to the exit, grabbing a coat on her way out. Distressed, the maid followed her until the driveway, shouting after her all the way.

"Arima-san, where are you going!? What am I supposed to tell your father when he returns!? Arima-san!"

It was already too late for Saya to elucidate her sudden leave, her feet had already put quite a distance behind her. All she knew was that she had to catch up to him. She had to reach him.

Saya had no idea for how long she ran or where she was headed but her feet kept going, chasing after an invisible thread. Finally, a few feet in front of her, a silhouette stood immobile, waiting. Hooded and armed with his dark shades, Uta removed his concealing items to face her properly. She stopped at a safe distance, gasping for air.

"Are you out of your mind?" She burst out annoyed. "What are you doing out on the streets in my own neighborhood when investigators are out hunting for your lives at this very moment?"

"I couldn´t stay away," Uta spoke, that calm, undeniable tone of his breaking through Saya´s offensive. "I tried for a few days but when I thought about you finding ways to cope with the distance and choosing to never see me again, I knew I had to come." Her heart skipped a beat at his answer and she took a step back, her body still trying to fight the battle her heart had lost. She had missed him so much. It took inhuman strength to stand aside, chain herself to the ground to prevent her impulse to run to him and embrace him, filling the hole that had been dug into her core. She had worried for the same reasons as well. Judging from the way matters were left off, Saya was conscious of possibly having lost Uta forever and that fact wrecked her from the inside. She had stopped herself from flying over to his Art Studio and apologizing more times than she thought reasonable but her conscience had stopped her, the one he was so skillfully corroding at remarkable speed.

"I thought about what you truly are to me Saya. I realized you were the exception from that first day you stepped into my studio and with that beautiful face of yours made me think that if I were human, there would be nothing stopping me from wanting to know you. I don´t understand how you did it but you crawled under my skin and now the thought of hurting you is unbearable to me."

She bit her lip as to block any disobeying words from leaving her mouth. Uta never held back on speaking his mind fact which brought her to the brink of shatters quicker than anticipated. He looked slightly worn-out, his shoulders slouching – a child confessing his remorse.

"And I have hurt you. With you, I can see it´s possible to hurt a human being in so many ways, not only physically, and for that I am sorry, Saya. And up till now, I have never been sorry in my entire life."

Saya was one to get emotional and affected by what was told to her and having him say those words delivered the finishing blow.

_What have you done to me?_ Saya wondered desperately. It took just one glimpse of him, one moment to ruin the fortress of reason she had built for herself and have him come crashing in, dragging her away in his tainted world. How weak she was; she used to credit herself with more strength in the past but he always managed to exterminate her reposting instincts. That weakness that people manifested in love only was so dangerous and so fearful, it changed people entirely. She had seen it in her university colleagues, in friends and even in her own father who was capable of bringing the moon to her mother´s feet when Adelisa was still alive. Was she now one of them too? One of those brainless people who favored their heart before their mind? She must have transitioned to their side sometime between selfish wishes and furious attempts to pluck him out of her brain. Her entire body trembled and Saya was certain he knew but he did nothing in that respect. For that, she took the first step in coming closer to him, the proximity blessing her with the needed will to speak.

"I am confused," Saya began. "I thought I understood and that I was able to get past the fact you feed on humans but I was wrong. I still find it difficult to accept. That image of you…" she searched for her words, her hands gesturing in the air aimlessly until she gave up on filling in that particular part, "it woke me up. It made me revise my own humanity and at this instant, it´s testing me to see how far I´ll go and I´m afraid of what I´ll find waiting for me. I…I don´t know how to face other people or how to live my life anymore. It´s no longer easy to spot right from wrong and I can´t even look at myself in the mirror without questioning my sanity."

She paused for a bit, glancing over to him. His eyes were slightly downcasted, deplorably listening to what she was saying. Her intention was not that of saddening him, the expression he had worn on that bloody night coming back to haunt her once again but she convinced herself Uta deserved the truth.

"I wish there were someone to tell me what to do. But I´m the only one who can help, I´m that person who can come up with an answer and that person is repeating over and over again that I cannot be without you. It´s too late for me to draw back and close this chapter."

Saya hoped her words could transpire at least a fragment of her sincerity and prove her pledge to stand by him as long as he also stood by her because that was all she could offer. For him she was betraying her family and human friends and disregarding common sense. She was turning blind to his need for human flesh and focusing on her greed to have him for herself instead. He must have read something in her eyes since his following action was that of closing the remaining distance between them and address her in a tone as serious as she had never heard him use before.

"I´m sorry. I have forgotten that I am not the only once making sacrifices in this."

"Is it problematic being with me?"

"No," Uta lied, avoiding to reveal the chilling thoughts he occasionally had when she was within arm´s reach. Encouraged by her lowered defenses, Uta placed his fingers on her neck, at the crossroads of arteries where blood pumped at its fullest. With such a fragile neck, it would take minimum effort to snap it and therefore end her inner pain but what purpose would that serve except for intensifying his own turmoil. "I´ll try to hold back from now on, at least until you come to terms with it," Uta found himself promising, amazed at how much she controlled his true self. She raised her head to look at him expectantly, reason why Uta stated something he never thought he would live to utter out loud.

"If there is someone in this world who is worth a lifetime of abstinence, it must be you."

Much like a curse that was lifted, Saya felt entitled to break free of her restraints and plunge into Uta´s arms, her hands grasping onto his shirt instinctively. It did not matter if he truly meant what he said or not, just the fact that he spoke such words aloud was enough to reassure Saya she took the right decision in offering her heart to him. Unfailingly, his arms also draped around her, pulling her closer into the embrace. She felt like home, finally, after a long, tiresome journey.

"I´m not going back yet. Let´s head downtown," Saya commanded, having seized the right to monopolize him for the entire day, if possible.

He had no option but to comply and follow her around coffee shops and popular dating places. He placed the shades back in place and indulged in her itinerary. She looked happy and Uta gave in to her every whim, certain she was trying to compensate for the lost time they had been apart in the last few days. At one point he entwined his fingers within her own, their hands connecting in heath and affection. Matters were not resolved yet but for the time being, Saya wanted that day to be her own. She was at ease once again having Uta by her side and there was absolutely nothing that could ruin her day. Nothing.

"Arima-san!" A voice rang through the crowd of people. Saya remained paralyzed in place as she recognized the voice, dread creeping into her heart as investigator Amon Koutaru made his way to them, his face ever so alert. She tried her best to shield Uta from his sight yet with said man towering over her with at least a head, there was no point to her effort.

"Amon-san, what a coincidence! Are you on your way to work?" Saya asked, attempting to sound jovial. Amon smiled politely, assessing the situation.

"As a matter of fact, I am. And you, Arima-san?" Amon inquired, sharp eyes already scanning Uta mercilessly. "Is he bothering you?" The investigator asked, certain that Arima´s sister would not be seen in the company of such a suspicious individual out of her own free will.

"Oh, not at all," Saya hurried to reply, expecting to hear that question from Amon. "We´re just strolling around," she explained but lost all hope of escaping the certainty of interrogation when Amon eyed Uta ardently, fully intent on deciphering him.

"State your name," Amon addressed Uta, adopting his emotionless face – the one he so often used at work for ghoul interrogations.

"Amon-san," Saya intervened yet Amon chose to ignore her.

"Uta."

"Uta and?"

"Amon-san…"

"Just Uta."

"What district are you from?" The nerve that man had, playing games with him. And what was it with so many tattoos and piercings, was that truly fashionable nowadays? It was because people like him were allowed to profane their bodies in such vulgar ways that society was going downhill. Did Arima-san like those types of men? Maybe that book he read last week in the train was not so far-fetched after all and women really did like bad boys the most.

"Please, Amon-san," Saya tried for what felt the hundredth time that minute, seeming to lose patience faster than Uta was. In fact, he appeared rather dispassionate, answering the questions with exercised ease, as if he had done it before and as if he was in no real danger though Saya knew better.

"Fourth ward."

"Your line of work?"

"Amon-san!" Saya shouted, finally losing control over Amon´s daring inquires. Both men turned to look at her, surprised by her lung capacity. She cleared her throat, going back to her softer, less startling tone. "I don´t appreciate you bothering my friends, Amon-san. Has he done anything to be so harshly questioned?"

"Ah, no, Arima-san, you see," Amon began explaining yet was briefly cut off by the young woman.

"Then it´s settled! We´ll go back to our business and we´ll let you get back to work," Saya deliberated as she grabbed Uta by the hand and dragged him away from the investigator´s sight. She could not risk having Amon catch a glimpse of Uta´s eyes and unmask both of them on the spot. "It was nice seeing you, Amon-san," Saya sent her goodbyes after which she merged with Uta into the crowd.

"Arima-san!" Amon called out to her, striving to catch a better look of that man. Something about him just rubbed him the wrong way and Arima Saya´s urge to leave as quickly as possible did not help.

_What was it that you said in these cases, Mado-san? Instinct, right?_

* * *

Most of the investigators were already seated in the conference room when Amon Koutaru joined the gathering, minutes before it started. He found a spot next to Shinohara who began briefing him on the details of the meeting, his attention distributed between the younger investigator and his partner, Suzuya Juuzou. Suzuya was also seated and Amon realized that such fact could be accomplished only due to Shinohara´s influence. Amon scanned the room carefully, pinpointing the center figures of the event. Despite the situation being dire, it was undoubtedly worrisome to see investigators such as Arima Kishou and Iwao Kuroiwa participate; their presence almost always inspired urgency. Locking eyes on Arima, Amon was reminded of Saya and of the questionable character she was with. Should he say anything to Arima? Was it even his business? His thoughts were interrupted briskly when Washuu Yoshitoki walked over to the front and declared the meeting open.

When Washuu stepped on the main floor, everyone in the room stopped their chattering and dedicated their full attention to their superior. A well-bred leader, Washuu earned his respect through memorable achievements and hard work, never once sullying his father´s name. As the son of the current Chairman of CCG, Washuu administrated the organization admirably. Before he orated to his audience, the Bureau Director stretched his neck in order to encompass the entire room with his eyes.

"Greetings. Firstly, I would like to thank you all for assembling here today," his noble voice resonated throughout the four walls of the room. "As you may have correctly assumed, we are currently gathered to address the disgraceful issue of ghoul infestation in the 11th ward."

At the sound of that, a few inspectors murmured in agreement only to be silenced by Washuu´s thundering exposition.

"We have underestimated the organization which goes by the name of Aogiri Tree and as a consequence, many of our valuable men have died in the fight to keep the ward at peace. Our inadequacy ends today." The director declared. "Our information on Aogiri had been scarce but with the helpful contribution of our team member, Special Investigator Marude Itsuki, we have established that indeed, this organization is led by none other than the One-Eyed King and presided by notorious ghouls such as Tatara and Noro. Jason is also part of their hierarchy which is why, as of now, we shall proceed with excessive care."

The ill-famed names of legendary ghouls stirred the crowd, many investigators discussing the truth of such news. Amon himself became restless, Jason´s name surfacing only bad memories. If only he and Mado-san could have succeeded exterminating him right then on the spot. He was biting more than he could chew, Amon was highly aware of that; Jason was not a ghoul you could kill off that easily.

"Due to recent events, I have decided to leave matters in the hands of Marude-san who will lead the liberation of the 11th ward and restore our dominance in the area. We shall hold another meeting before starting the operation and we shall spend the remaining days devising the best strategy for the highest success rate. It goes without saying that civilian evacuation is our main priority."

"How many men will be dispatched for this operation?" One of the inspectors raised his hand to deliver the question. Prepared for all inquiries, Washuu replied.

"One hundred or more, depending on our tactics. Many of you present here today will most probably be a part of it."

"Have the ghouls settled on a base?" Another inquired.

"They have, yes. The central mall in the district is, as of today, under their control."

"What do we tell the people? They will want to know what´s going on." Even more inspectors contributed.

"And they shall," Washuu said. "We´ll hold a press conference and inform the masses over the operation plans and advise them to cooperate by staying safe and clear of the afflicted area. Further questions will be answered by Marude-san. Please," Washuu invited Marude to take the stage and as he neared the board, Marude´s burning confidence took over, promising the success of the entire operation.

Amon was no longer listening. He leaned back in his chair, pondering over how risky that operation was going to be. It was the first time to experience a head-on war with ghouls and something told him this was only the beginning. Lives were sure to be lost in the fight, friends buried but never forgotten. However, Amon was intent on making sure the opposing side would lose more than what they were going to sacrifice and he would permit no troubling feelings to weaken his resolve the way they did when fighting that eye-patch ghoul. What was it that he said? Not to turn him into a murderer? What a strange thing to say. All ghouls were murderers. And he was going to pass judgment.

* * *

**A/N:** Hey guys! How are you? Thanks for the awesome reviews, I got so many for this chapter, you are all spoiling me. I´m lucky there is such interest in this fanfiction which is why I am doing my best to post a chapter regularly for you. This chapter takes place just before the raid in district 11, the one where Suzuya crashed Marude´s precious motorcycle if you recall XD. Fun episode, especially Marude´s reaction :)). And I just realized I screwed up Akira´s timing, I´ll have to go back to that chapter to fix it.

**Special thanks to my dear reviewers!**

**Megohime of Mutsu:** Hey there, it's so nice to see you here again! Thanks for the review, it's always appreciated, you have no idea how happy I am when I see reviews from my followers! And Saya had it coming, she only saw the pretty side of their relationship and I did not want to keep her in the dark for too long. I have "big" plans for this story and with this chapter, it's going back on track with the anime/manga, which, in my opinion, makes it really exciting. See you next time!^^

**Hikiri:** Hello and welcome back! Thanks for taking the time to write such a long review! You raise quite the valid point, we can't ask ghouls to feed off dead humans or deny their nature but then again, we neither can pretend everything is alright just because they are better life forms. Everyone has the right to fight for their lives. An important detail is that many ghouls, unlike humans who try to shorten the suffering of animals, actually enjoy the thrill of killing humans. In my opinion, this is why Mado somehow correctly assumed they don't have the same level of emotions that humans do (his wife's death played an important part in this).Your premise is very good actually and I agree with it but we can't apply it to Saya just as we can't apply it to everybody else because humans are different and they think about matters differently. I don't believe Saya is capable of such noble thoughts as yours, she's simply outgrown by her inability to stomach the facts and therefore acts accordingly. She is extremely conflicted at the moment because unlike regular people, she is there on the other side of the fence, in the front lines of ghoul extermination due to her birth in the Arima family. Yes, Uta has to eat humans to survive but Saya does not and this is where the relationship becomes difficult. I tried to show the challenges of being in a relationship with a ghoul and at the same time, I did not want to portray Saya as this brainless young woman who falls in love and nothing matters anymore. I wanted to add some depth to her. .

Once again, thank you for gifting me this detailed and challenging review, I had fun reading it and replying to it. Hope to talk to you again!

**Pheles-sama:** (This comment contains SPOILERS)

I'm happy you think this chapter was interesting, I gave it a lot of thought. First of all, I am a bit sad to see that so many people judge Kishou harshly. I don't see him completely emotionless when he's not fighting ghouls. One of my reviewers (AznPuffyHair, if I remember correctly) once commented that Arima is able to be so good at killing ghouls because it is his job and not because he hates his enemies and I completely agree! There is a certain calm to how Kishou dispatches ghouls, as if he has to do it but he doesn't enjoy it, not the way Mado did at least. I realized how melancholic and dutiful Kishou is when Kaneki saw him for the first time and he thought Kishou/the view before him was beautiful. Kaneki knew he was going to die but since it was going to happen by Arima's hands, he felt peaceful. I guess this is why I love Kishou so much and I can´t hate him for ending Kaneki. He just sees the bigger picture.

As for the scene between him and Saya, he is not very interested in her dresses but he wanted to check on her, something like: "I could care less about your dresses Saya but I care about you and this is why I am here joining your tea party. So that I can read you, see what you're up to and if you're doing anything dangerous". That's why I said in that chapter that whatever Kishou does, has "a manipulative trait to it". But don't worry, these cute scenes between siblings are practically over, the real conflict starts now! :))

But I seem to do it right with the date! Those two deserve time spent together or else the relationship can´t evolve. You imagined the date very well and you also understood Uta as a character, I have the same opinion about him as you do. Uta wears the real mask, that´s why his own mask does not have a face and he´s called No Face. Quite fitting for him, right? The fact that you considered necessary for Saya to have a taste of Uta´s real nature is very satisfying to me, it means I have achieved my goal of keeping him in character, for that chapter at least. Thank you again and I really hope to read another thoughtful review as yours! Take care!^^

**BabyShinji: **Hi there, it´s so nice to see a review from you! I´m with you on wanting to make those two interact more but Uta needs to keep himself in check or he´ll end up eating Saya and that´s bad. Very bad XD. And conflicted is good, welcome to my rollercoaster of emotions. Please come again! :)

**sherlaylay**: I´m so used to seeing you post reviews on each chapter and I still get excited each and every time! You´ve got Uta´s psychology down, you are already aware of his good points and bad points and that makes it even better for a fanfiction writer to see his readers are perceptive about every little detail, good job! Thank you for analyzing the relationship between Uta and Saya and bringing out what really makes those two tick. Reading your review made me think Saya is now a person of her own, a real character with her own needs and desires and for that I thank you! And fist pump FTW, you and me both! No matter how big the shock, she had to snap, Uta is no longer a stranger to her (well, not in the human-eating aspect). This chapter was about reconciliation. I gave them a few days off but not for long because Uta is selfish like that. It´s funny but, despite all that he is (in the anime AND manga) I somehow can still see him utter those words aloud to someone he would care about. I think I´m one of the few who sees that side of him but I hope I have managed to make it just a bit genuine. Let me know your opinion about the latest chapter. Take care!

**VictoriaPie:** I think I overate. So MANY pies! XD. Thank you for the review, those are my thoughts exactly! Quite often people fall in love with villains or ghouls in this case and they forget the bitter part of the deal. So happy to see you used the word ´reality´ for my fanfiction because I was intent on keeping a realistic feel to it. All relationships have their problems and one with someone from another species makes it even more challenging. Catch you later!^^

**(Guest 1):** Your review just made me blush, too much praise! :)) But I sincerely thank you. If I can make people excited for a new chapter then I am also extremely happy, there is nothing more I could wish for. It´s very considerate of you to notice the effort I put into my words and the time I allocate to post a new chapter, I´m very fortunate to have wonderful people like you be part of this. Your encouragement is well-received, believe me! Hope to get to talk to you again!

**wlfchen:** Welcome back! How lucky of me to see you in my review section again! I know how hard it is to juggle university assignments and job hunting, you barely have any time left for yourself so here, have another bonbon :))! Saya is a magnet for trouble and giving who she is, there will be problems in the future for dating that dashing ghoul but she just couldn´t resist! It was traumatizing for her to see Uta eat another human; it´s one thing to imagine it or think about it and it´s a completely different matter to witness it. My plan is to make her slightly stronger or at least not that wimpy, she´s always been this aristocrat who had no idea what´s going on around her. I think she would get along well with Tsukiyama if he were human, they might have some things in common. They both like Kaneki :)) As always, you´re very welcome to leave a review and share your opinion. Good luck with everything and get some rest when possible!

**Chiharu-angel:** Hi and thanks, as always! I´m also looking for your next review so hope to see you drop a line here again. You have my gratitude for your constant support!^^

**Cyleana:** Don´t worry about not being able to review, life catches up! Anyways, I´m ecstatic to see you around here again, thank you for taking the time. Suzuya is a troublesome character but I find his addition to the story refreshing which is why I wanted to add him in the fanfic as well. I have some plans for him too, we´ll just have to see how the plot works out first. I´ve analyzed this character plenty in the manga so yay for nailing his ´in-character´ properties! XD. As for their date, what better way to bring them closer than through their mutual passions? And I wanna see their crafts too! I would love to have a mask custom-made from Uta and a dress from Saya but since that´s impossible, I´m sticking with real-life purchases. Thanks for always being here to cheer me up and make my day with a review, I´ll continue to do my best from now on! And you know what? Uta DOES look like Miyavi! I never noticed, thanks for pointing it out :)). I went and searched images of Miyavi online and was shocked by how much those two look alike, hairstyle and tattoos included o.o Is Miyavi hiding something from us? Is he eating humans behind our backs? XD Take care and have a lovely week!

**SchokoDelphin:** Bonjour my dear reviewer, how are you? It´s a good day for me now that I know I helped your heart pound with excitement from my story^^. The effects are plenty, she has an identity crisis at the moment but thankfully, she found out she can´t leave him, even with all the gore included. Love really is blind, isn´t it? There are quite a few extreme cases in the anime and manga where humans sacrifice so much to be with ghouls and Saya is one of them, though, I wanted her to be a bit more cerebral. It´s rather interesting this way and it serves to show she´s not pointlessly related to Kishou after all. Let me know your thoughts on this chapter and many thanks for the health wishing, I value it dearly! The same for you!

**crayonx3:** Greetings and welcome! Don´t worry about reviewing later than my other mates here, you compensated with the sweet and thoughtful review. As a fanfic writer, I also have a sense of pride when I see such carefully polished reviews that express appreciation for my work, thank you! If the story flows well and the characters seem genuine then I can rest at ease. I do think about everything I add to the chapters, no line is useless or placed there for artistic effect, I have something hanging on it that is usually revealed in the following chapters so you can imagine how rewarding it is for me to have readers comment on the small details I hide in the fanfic. Before I created this story, I hesitated because OCs are troublesome and they never seem to fit well in a story. To top it off, Uta is also very hard to deal with, just like you have already stated, he is very chill and blunt about things and he can say the harshest of things in the calmest of voices, as if it´s the most natural thing in the world. That´s one of his main defining traits and I chose to develop that in order to keep him in character. I really wish to see you here again and read another review. Until next time, be well!^^

**Guest (2):** I know, Saya´s expectations were turned upside down. Well, not that drastic, but still, just enough to shake things up. Thanks for letting me know Suzuya´s in character, he´s so precious and adds spice to the story. Keep in touch!

**Flatwaffles29:** Thank you so much! I can keep going because I have so many people who are rooting for this fanfiction and who constantly welcome challenges and turn of events. Thank you for being one of them and for sharing some of your love with me. Take care and drop by again!^^


	9. Hurricane

**Disclaimer**:** **I do not own Tokyo Ghoul. This story is purely fictional.

* * *

**Chapter 9: Hurricane**

Accompanied by Noro, Tatara stepped into one of the abandoned storage rooms of the conquered mall in ward 11 where some of his other companions were waiting for his arrival. While Eto and the Bin brothers were sent away in reconnaissance tasks, Ayato and Yakumo Oomori, the one they so frequently referred to as Jason, had been ordered in standby until further notice.

Ayato, a talented child they had picked along the way to join their organization was silently leaning against the wall, eyes closed in contemplation. From time to time he would shoot a disgusted look towards Jason and his clown companion whom he tortured to the brink of pleasure. Jason would dig his fingers in Nico's neck until the feminine man would take it no more and would whimper in release. In return, Jason would heave with enjoyment, finding nothing wrong with the spontaneous source of entertainment. A rather private 'admirer' of the art of killing and torturing, Tatara himself was occasionally disturbed by Jason's twisted tendencies but most of the time, he permitted his quirks due to the fact that Jason's existence in their organization produced results and established Aogiri Tree as an overgrowing resistance force against the doves.

With swift, feline movements, Tatara neared the table Yamori was seated at, his glare commanding the other ghoul to end his aamusement spree.

"Jason. Have you secured the west wing?"

"I did," Jason replied, slightly ruffled for having his fun interrupted. "No scum´s gonna make it alive through there."

"Is that so? Somehow, your men seemed a bit decimated," Tatara sought an explanation, despite already imagining the answer.

"Some of them had an opinion. I just showed them I don´t keep them around for their brains." Jason´s wide mouth disfigured itself into a diabolical grin, fondly remembering the dismembering process of his subordinates. Tatara, however, furrowed his eyebrows threateningly, far from sharing Jason´s enthusiasm.

"You should limit your killings for the time being, we can´t afford to lose soldiers so early in the fight."

"With or without them, it doesn´t make any difference," the blonde ghoul counteracted. He openly disliked Tatara and loathed to take orders for him, nonetheless accumulate warnings from said man. Jason swore he would decapitate that particular Aogiri leader one day and impale his head repeatedly in his collection of metal spikes. Something about Tatara simply frustrated Jason; whether it was his stoic features or the effortless proud gait he carried himself with, Jason was always ready to be conducive to his downfall. "More importantly," Jason pushed aside his chair to stand up and tower over the entire room. "When do we go after that woman? After Rize."

Yes, there was the issue of that woman, Tatara remembered. Hardly given any instances to forget about it, Jason made it his mission to bring up her name unrelatedly, tenths of times per day. Even the way he said her name, emphasized with greed and violence, as if drooling after a forbidden fruit, could bring shivers down anyone´s spine. His first option in capturing Rize would have been Ayato, yet since Jason seemed to be so obsessed with that female ghoul why not send him away? Many of his subordinates would be grateful for his absence.

"As soon as possible," Tatara finally replied only to draw the defiance of a certain blue-haired ghoul who had refused to join the conversation up until the mention of Rize´s name.

"We´re going after Rize? Why not go after that Saya woman? We know she´s involved with a ghoul, it´s going to be child´s play to capture her," Ayato reasoned, exasperated by how his superiors were letting that golden opportunity slip past them. Tatara listened to Ayato´s additions, all the while observing Jason, the latter´s eyes almost popping out at the news of shifting victims. If looks could kill, Ayato would be lying in scattered pieces of meat all around the room.

"Heard that, Jason? Ayato doesn´t think it´s a good idea to pursue Rize. Whatever shall we do?" The ghoul teased in his monotone tempo, taking out a coin from his cloak pocket. "Shall we make this more interesting?" Tatara challenged, positioning the coin on his thumb and index finger. "If it´s heads, we´re going after Rize and if it´s tails, after the other."

They all held their breaths, mesmerized by the trajectory of the coin as it circled in the air and fell on the table a second after it had been released from Tatara´s fingers. It was tails.

Tatara smirked from under his half-mask amused by how much lady Fate herself had no intention of giving Jason what he wanted while Nico gasped, foreseeing a brutal reaction from the man of his dreams. And fair enough, Jason grunted viciously, slamming his hands against the table rhythmically, denying the result with animalistic strength.

"Heads!" He shouted, slamming. "Heads!" He went on, his movements intensifying with each turn. "Heads!" Jason continued screaming but the coin disobeyed, sprinting in the air but not once choosing to frequent the desired side. "HEADS!" Jason screamed at the top of his lungs, the impact of his hands breaking the table under pressure and causing the coin to roll off the wooden surface, circle for a few times and in the end rest on its other neglected side. The coin had given up on Saya.

"Heads," Jason uttered in what sounded like a confirmation and no longer an obnoxious demand and Tatara lost interest.

"We can capture Rize whenever we want but it´s not the same for that other bitch. She´s Arima Kishou´s sister, can´t you see we have the upper hand?" Ayato pushed forward, trying to persuade his superior. But it was always a living hell making them listen to him. How many more he had to kill or how many more successful missions he had to add to his repertoire for them to pay attention to him?

"Ayato-kun. I hope you haven´t forgotten that the goal of this mission is not to win the war but free all the prisoners in Cochlea," Tatara said, in a tone that suggested Ayato would be wise to drop the subject. Between a ghoul who thrived on madness and one who was too young to resort to adapting, Tatara did not have much to work with. "Our sources state Arima won´t be part of this operation and I don´t plan on inviting him for deliberately dragging his sister into this. No need to complicate matters."

Unfortunately, the answer displeased Ayato. He turned to face his superior, hands in his pocket, glare defying.

"Are you that afraid of Arima that you´re letting this chance go to waste?"

"And do you really think we are so weak we have to resort to such petty tricks to defeat a CCG investigator? Do you think I´ll acquire any satisfaction if I bring that dove to his knees by dangling his sister in front of his face? When I finish him, I´ll make sure to do it properly on the battlefield, no handicap for either of us."

Ayato drew back a few steps unconsciously. Tatara did not have to try much to be intimidating, the steel flare in his eyes sufficed in reminding anyone of his strength status and of the obvious difference in power between him and anyone else. Ayato was far from being content with Tatara's explanation but for now, it had to do. His superior was always scheming something behind the stage and his motives always had a secondary expectancy to them because Ayato refused to think pride was what was stopping Tatara from murdering the Arima wench. Pride was only for the weak, his father's death had convinced him of that and Ayato lived by the mantra that when the opportunity came to be, you had to strike with all your might.

Tatara allowed Ayato's slight insurrection blaming it on his youth. The boy was still too inexperienced to understand the ramifications of a good execution. It was not because of fairness that Tatara preferred to let this chance slip, on the contrary, it was because Tatara simply did not fear Arima Kishou. He loathed him to the point of losing control for having lost many important fellow ghouls at his hands and for having been overwhelmed in the previous encounters he had with the investigator but he would make sure to make Arima suffer well for it. When he would strike against him he would do it good, in such a way that he would lose everything at once: his father, his sister and his position. And when he would be nothing more than the dirt under his fingernails, he would waste the white-haired investigator. That was the reason why he left Arima Daichi live. As much as he wanted to break him bone by bone upon finding him among the resistance force, Tatara ordered his subordinates and even himself to let him live and thus send a message to his son. A warning even. The time of ghouls would come soon and no one would be able to do anything about it. His attention slipped to Jason again who was holding the coin like a child in love with their first toy. That man was nothing more than an ape in a suit. A strong one, however and he would be needed in the upcoming war against the CCG. He gestured for Noro to follow him as both leaders left, paying no attention to Ayato´s scrutinizing expression.

Jason let out a spasmodic laugh, bending the coin in two between his fingers.

"Nico," he said with excitement in his voice, "what do you think I´ll do to Rize when I get her?"

"I don´t know," the man in question replied, enamored by his companion. He lightly traced a finger on Jason´t chest, finishing the sentence seductively, "but I hope you´ll do some of it to me tonight."

* * *

"How could you let this happen?!" Saya exclaimed accusingly as she tried to keep up with her brother, both siblings racing on sanitized hospital halls in search for the ICU. Her question remained unattended, Kishou focused more on his surroundings than the incessant complaints of his sister. Saya was falling behind, realizing how such a simple task like matching paces with somebody was not as easy as she remembered but she persevered. She took a good look at her brother´s broad back, his rigorous frame exuding command and an eminence that could never be topped. Was that how Kishou´s team members felt when they were fighting alongside him? Were they intimidated, always on edge and desperate to rise to his standards? If they were, Saya was not surprised, her brother had that effect on her more times than she could count however, Saya was certain of one thing; no man would dare commit the act she was about to do. She shot her hands towards him, latching securely on his arm and brought him face to face with her.

"How could you?" Saya repeated. Any other disobeying hand as that would be thoroughly disciplined by her brother but not hers, she had earned her selfishness with him by right of birth. Kishou sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers and not pleased for having to explain himself. Saya´s own digits moved, better said, punctured Kishou´s arm through his sleeve, bombarding him with her demands. "What was he doing in district 11?"

"Aiding the CCG members regain dominance in the area,"

"He is retired!" She cried out exasperated, never thoroughly understanding the fixation these men had in dying proudly with their jobs around their necks. Her father's time in the CCG was long gone, it was not his place to keep fighting that war, they had Kishou now and from all the praises and titles her brother acquired, she figured he was proving out to be pretty damn swell at it.

"He couldn´t stay away. You cannot truly retire from this position," Kishou stated, speaking from experience. Once you attained the function of an investigator, you would only continue growing into it, becoming addicted and chased by the shadow of efficiency and responsibility or else people were going to die directly or indirectly by your hand. He understood the cause of Saya´s distress but he could not really relate to it anymore. As an investigator, you had a job to accomplish and retirement was not enough of an obstacle to deny one the right to re-enter the battlefield. In fact, Kishou had tried negotiating with their father to sit that one out. Ward 11 was never his district, his physical condition not as top-notch as it used to be and as harsh as it sounded, his father's contribution would not make a difference. Nor did Kishou's warning for that matter. But Saya had to inherit her stubbornness from someone and much like the poor result he was currently achieving with his sister, their father had left to join the fallen investigators against all odds.

"He could have died."

Kishou lowered his eyes to regard his sister. Yes, he could have, they were all risking their lives every day. How much more would it take for Saya to realize that the reason she was living so comfortably and out of harm's way was credited to the collective effort both he and their father were putting into their duties? Death was a given and life was a privilege.

She stomped away from him, put off by his composure. Saya knew it was precisely that composure that made Kishou the best at what he was doing but would it hurt him to breach his personal rules and console her? Whenever these types of situations arose, Saya had no one to rely on, no shoulder to cry on. And crying was precisely what she wanted to do. When a professor interrupted her literature class at university in order to inform her that her brother was waiting for her outside and she had to leave urgently, Saya's heart sank. She imagined the same grim scenario only with different circumstances. She thought her brother found out about Uta and was going to send her away on the first plane right after having dismembered said ghoul. But to find out her father had been severely injured in a mission was far worse than she could imagine. As she approached the room he was resting in, her steps became heavier and slower, afraid to step into the room and face a reality she had never considered. The accompanying nurse did the honors and opened the door to Daichi's personal salon, the siblings stepping inside. Their father, serene but unresponsive, looked as if he was sleeping and the feet of the bed, a doctor greeted them, a chart in his hands. Saya went past him, leaving her brother to deal with the medical explanations.

As she got closer to her father, Saya noticed that Daichi, connected to a variety of tubes and IVs, was somehow breathing normally. He had a painful-looking bruise on his left cheek and some plasters across his face, shielding skin that had previously ruptured to expose blood. He had come out of surgery for three broken ribs and a punctured kidney, the doctor updated on their father's condition, and was positive that if he managed to wake up from his coma, he would make a full recovery. But for now, all they had left to do was to play the waiting game. With shaking fingers, Saya took Daichi's hand in her own, begging to whoever was listening to bestow her with strength. Because of this war between humans and ghouls, people all around the world ended hurt or worse, dead. She felt fearful for her father and for Uta. Was this divine punishment for entering a forbidden relationship with a ghoul? Was this life's way of showing her she was committing a mistake? She did not know anymore. Her thoughts were with her father now and they all converged towards his recovery. Saya did not even want to think about Daichi not waking up. If that were to happen, she would die of grief, her entire being assured her of that outcome. In a way she felt partially responsible even though it was not her fault their father was lying motionless in that bed. Everyone was responsible. She stared at her brother until he attributed his attention to her. With tearful eyes, she chocked on the words that refused to come out:

"You should have stopped him."

Kishou did not respond, unyielding eyes staring back at her. Clearly no comfort there. Moreover, she felt like a fool. Unable to resist the image of her comatose father, Saya bolted out the door, leaving the room in silence once again, apart from the beeping sound of the heart monitor which proved their father was still there, still fighting.

* * *

She wasn´t healing as quickly as she thought she would. Ayato´s assault on her had been strong and due to her deviating eating habits, there was clearly a difference in strength. Touka´s stubbornness to eat human food was taking a toll on her and for once, she cursed at her weakness as she failed to save Kaneki from Jason´s claws. Her brother was right; she was weak, otherwise she could have put up a better fight but instead was crushed to the ground, watching helplessly as Kaneki was trashed and abused by that animal right before her very eyes. Touka cringed remembering how much blood she had to clean up from the cups, the tables and she was sure there was blood even in the crevices of the wooden floor where it would dry to remain forever. It was beyond her understanding why someone would come after Kaneki, he was kind, a bit naïve and never caused problems to anyone and yet members of Aogiri Tree now had him in their custody. Was it because of Rize? Most probably. She never really liked that woman. Touka knew she was trouble from the moment she arrived in their district; with her pretty face and twisted games, waltzing into their café shop as if she owned it, Rize was the epitome of danger. Kaneki wouldn´t last a day with Aogiri Tree and Touka would do anything in her power to get him back. Now that the Store Manager and practically everybody at Anteiku had decided to join in the rescuing mission, the only thing they had left to do was to devise a plan that would get all of them alive from that ghoul nest.

Touka finished drawing the blinds and locking Anteiku´s front door. She also moved the outside sign that stated their Special Coffee blends for the day, careful not to have her other wounds rupturing. Her healing rate was faster than that of a human but still not as proficient as that of a binge eater. Touka was almost done making the place as unavailable as possible to customers when **_she _**arrived. Touka turned around to face Saya. Yet another woman that spelled trouble.

"We´re closed, go back."

Saya stopped in her tracks, alerted by Touka´s warning tone. Alas, the girl was never too hospitable towards her but today she was quite rude. Saya only wanted to get away from everything, find a silent place where she could enjoy a cup of coffee and think. Since she had no one to rely on about her problems and going to Uta to cry about her father being hurt by someone from his species was out of the question, she thought Anteiku would be the key. Seeing Kaneki´s face would be enough to ease her nerves and she would have casual talk with him, anything to keep her mind off what was eating her from the inside yet, was this the sound of another door being closer straight into her face? Saya wanted to insist but on a closer inspection, the café did look out of order and was that broken glass on the pavement? Things did not look good and she immediately understood something was wrong.

"Did something happen here?"

"It´s none of your business," Touka spat back. She did not need Arima´s sister hanging around the scenes, poking her nose in unwanted matters. It was amazing how thick-headed she was. Touka gave her all the signals needed to return to where she came from but it seemed her deep frown and comminatory tone were not enough to convince Saya to make herself scarce.

"Can I at least see Kaneki? I would like to speak with him," Saya tried but that only spurred Touka far down into her resentment. It served only to remind her that Kaneki was not there anymore and she could do nothing to take back that mistake. She felt her blood boil, her tension rising into protruding veins around her eyes which turned red with fury.

"I said, GO BACK!" Touka shouted, charging at Saya. The other woman thought she was going to be dismembered if not for the store manager´s intervention. Fortunately, the older man materialized out of thin air and had placed a firm hand on the female ghoul´s shoulder, putting a halt to her irrational attack. Sensing his touch, Touka drew back, her eyes turning back to normal instantly, blinking away her rage.

"Touka-chan, control yourself," Yoshimura advised, releasing her shoulder as soon as she reverted to her more obedient side. "What happened to Kaneki is not Arima-san´s fault."

Saya saw Touka lower her head apologetically yet showing no intention of sharing the same remorse with her. Putting a hand on her chest to calm her beating heart, Saya conjured the courage to inquire about the newly-revealed fact.

"Excuse-me but, what is going on? What happened to Kaneki?"

Yoshimura looked back to her, sensible to her worry.

"I´m sorry Arima-san but it would be wise to leave," he told her and glancing behind the young woman, addressed the lingering silhouette. "See to it that she gets back home safely, Uta-kun."

Previously unaware of his presence, Saya discovered Uta was just a few feet back, drawing closer to the group. When both Touka and the manager disappeared inside the now closed Anteiku café shop, Saya spoke to Uta.

"What are you doing here?"

"I picked up your scent a few blacks away and followed. The real question is, what are **_you_** doing here? Isn´t your family keeping close watch on you in this time of conflict?"

Usually they would, especially Kishou but for the time being, her brother was in no position to worry about her. He already had his hands full with their father and the entire ghoul situation. But at the moment, she was not important.

"Forget about that, did something happen to Kaneki?" She asked anxiously, demanding the truth from Uta and was not disappointed to hear him deliver it.

"He got kidnapped by Aogiri Tree," Uta said, glancing over to the Anteiku establishment. "It was quite gruesome so you´ll have to stay away from the café from now on."

"What?" Saya asked, her breath stopping short in her chest. The same organization that had severely injured her father was also responsible for the abduction of her friend. Saya felt faint and searched for balance in Uta, her fingers curling at his chest in comfort. "Why would they kidnap him?"

Uta stared back at her and at how much her trembling fingers spoke of her fear and tumult. There was no easy way of explaining something as irrational as the Aogiri Tree to someone as black and white as Saya. "They don´t need a reason for what they do, this is the type of organization they are and there are not many who can stand in their way."

"Will they hurt him?"

Again, why hide the truth from her? Uta figured she knew that much on her own.

"Most probably."

Her fingers crumpled his top even more, tainting the fabric with sweat. Saya did not want to hear about such dreadful matters yet she did. She remembered Kaneki´s cheerful voice and pleasant disposition and realized it was unbearable for her to imagine him hurt.

"My father almost died. He fought them, Aogiro Tree and now he´s in a comma," Saya said, having no idea why she told him something so irrelevant.

"I see," he simply responded. No forced apology, no other soothing words, just an observation which sounded incredibly comforting to her. She really needed to tell him and now that she did, she felt the heavy stone on her chest disintegrating a little. His hand slid to her waist, resting there gently and his other one went to her chin, to raise it and render her attentive.

"Everyone at Anteiku is planning to go save Kaneki."

She looked hopeful almost instantaneously but her enthusiasm faded upon realizing how crazy everything sounded.

"But, Aogiri Tree is a vicious force, the entire CCG are having trouble subduing them."

"Which is why Touka-chan and the others are planning to strike on the same night the CCG are attacking the 11th ward."

"That´s insane," Saya whispered, realizing the plan was not that delusional once you really thought about it. This would be the perfect opportunity to get Kaneki back and actually return alive. "Are you…going too?" She asked Uta, clearly fearful.

"Do you want me to?"

She remained silent, dwelling in her conflict stage. He smirked, uttering the same words she was guarding in her mind: "I do but CCG are going to be there and you might get hurt."

She gasped, a bit annoyed for having the words stolen right from her mouth.

"Don´t underestimate the CCG."

"I´m not," Uta replied, caressing her cheek. "I´m more capable than you think, Saya. You´d be surprised," he added, not yet fully convincing her. "But don´t worry, I´ll be joining them. After all, Kaneki is one of my most important clients."

Saya nodded, trying to believe and trust in his survival instincts. He would not be alone, they would all watch out for each other and this was not the first time for him to escape the CCG. "You´ll come back to me in one piece, won´t you?"

"Yes."

That word was all it took. With just one word, the fog had been cleared. She wondered when she became that dependent on him. Regardless, Saya did not feel alone anymore. There was finally someone who could understand and cherish her with the stake of his own life. She raised herself on her toes, locking lips with his, capturing some of his warmth for herself. Out of the blue, her phone began ringing. She took it out of her pocket, exhaling a sigh when seeing the caller ID. It was as if that man knew exactly when she was engaged in something immoral.

"Kishou," Saya greeted, still comfortable in Uta´s arms.

"Return to the hospital," her brother ordered. "Father woke up."

* * *

**A/N:** Hey guys, sorry for the late update, I had a busy week at work. Happy Late Halloween too, here´s my candy for you guys. I thought it would be nice to show some of the Aogiri members and make it in such a way that Tatara has some sort of past with Arima? Dunno, thought it would make the plot more interesting and I´m alllllllll about that! Anyways, enjoy this chapter! And by the way, Cochlea is the Ghoul Detention Center and their motivation about that war in district 11 is explained in the manga if you all recall.

**Time for my wonderful reviewers now!**

**crayonx3:** Hello again! So happy to see you here *wink. I know what you mean, many fics focus exclusively on the OC and while that may be the point, it´s also a bit tiresome. Sometimes you don´t need to know everything the OC does, it´s good to find out about other characters´ thoughts and actions. Thank you for taking note of Uta´s lines, it´s a bit difficult to imagine him being in love with someone, especially after the entire manga fiasco but, anything is possible if you find the right motivation for it. I wanted him to be with Saya but not give up on what he truly is. To me a story is all about the plot and the twists! I can´t like a story unlike it has twists or makes the reader surprised. Even I´m surprised and get excited when I think of something good for the chapter, this just shows how much I love this story and Tokyo Ghoul. I´m also excited that I get to write more about Aogiri, they´re such an interesting bunch. I especially like Tatara, he´s such a great bad guy, must be the white hair! Who´s your favorite bad guy? XD Thank you for everything and see you next time!

**Chiharu-angel:** I know, sister! I´m scared and excited about it but I´m willing to push forward. Take care, as always.

**sherlaylay:** I thought about how to name that chapter and the answer was under my nose, nothing too complicated. Sometimes I´m envious of Saya, I wish I could be that naïve in love and go all out but things just aren´t like that for everyone. She does worry a lot and she needs to be a bit more selfish, you are totally right but I guess it´s not that simple and she´s not even thinking ahead, such as their life together in the future, if their love could last and if it does, if they can conceive and be happy away in their own little world. So many problems with different species. With her, Uta is both sweet and cruel, he just can´t shake off that double-edged personality of his but I think that makes it better for the relationship. And before you and I knew it, she is already being selfish, isn´t she? She was the one who chose this for herself so she´s starting to open up and live like a person. A person in love with a ghoul XD. Anyways, hope I´ll be able to keep you happy from now on as well and good luck at work! Until next time!

**Cyleana:** Oh my, you gave me the best compliment out there. Thank you so much for taking time to review, I know that it´s troublesome and people are very busy but it means a lot to me to know that people appreciate what I´m doing. I plan to keep writing, I already have the ending figured out so I´m just updating towards it. There´s still a long way to go so please stay with me until then^^. And you guessed it correctly, I do write notes! I have a lot of papers lying around on my desk with chapter drafts or character lines that I want to include, it´s a real plot business here but I enjoy it! I have to plan everything and always reference previous chapters to make everything flow better and create those twists you mentioned. Hope you´re going to see Miyavi live one day, concerts feed the soul! Take care and can´t wait for your review!

**Victoria Pie:** Thank you dear, I absolutely love character development. How can I believe, trust or even relate to a character if he/she does not react or think like a normal person? It´s hard already liking female characters, I know that when I read a new manga or see a new anime, I don´t have that many female characters that I like, which is too bad x.x, right? But in Tokyo Ghoul I always liked Rize, she has that extra something which sets her apart from any other cardboard copy female character in the anime world. Well, on with the chapters! Lots of love!

**iZUMi0715:** Thank you, this made my heart melt T.T. I´m glad you´re enjoying it so far and may you stick around till the end. Let me know more of your opinion whenever you have the chance. Take care.

**wlfchen:** You hit the spot, dear reviewer! Kishou is the perfect son and since Saya has always been in his shadow, she had to work twice as hard and compensate by being a good kid who did as she was told and remain shielded in her golden tower. Also, just as you have said, if her family would find out about the relationship she has with Utam they would never believe she is truly in love with him. They would see Uta as the enemy, someone who is taking advantage of Saya´s naïveté to get to the Arima family and kill them off. In a way, I understand them very well, it´s not that easy being sure of someone´s love and we all know that family always wants what´s best for children. Amon was about to ruin everything for Saya and Uta but luckily, they got away, I couldn´t let their love story end that fast :)). Have a nice week and talk to you once more, it´s great exchanging opinions with you.

**Flatwaffles29:** Thanks so much, here´s another chapter! Uta´s cannibalism is still a problem but they´re working it out as for the ghoul investigators, there´s no fun without drama, right? Yes, I did read the manga and now I´m reading the sequel, so excited about it! I miss a lot of the characters but we´ll just have to see how this goes. Plus, the main character reminds me of Kaneki *wink-wink. Take care and thanks for dropping by for my humble fanfiction.^^

**splitice:** Thank you as well! Just that one line of gratitude was enough to tell me I´m still on the right track. Hope to see you here again!.

**Guest:** Hey and thank you very much for the review! I know that some of you want more of Uta and Saya but the chapter was already too mushy for me to take it and I wanted to slow down on the bonding moments :)). It can get a bit nauseating reading about people being lovey-dovey all the time ir is this just me? XDXD Come back here again and have a great day!

**Hikiri:** Hello! Once again, your reviews are always spot-on, bringing out the essence of each chapter. I believe Amon also has great intuition, I suppose teaming up with Mado opened up a door of possibilities he could not see before so I thought it would be interesting to test him with Uta. He will have a part to play in it but I´m still considering it though. Slowly but surely, I´m getting back on track with the manga/anime and adding the right elements to blend it in and make it sound more believable. Uta´s betrayal will be addressed and indeed, it will be slightly explained, slightly logical or illogical, it depends on how everyone sees it. But it will be there, I intend to leave nothing ignored, that´s the beauty of it. And yes, I did read the manga and now I´m also reading the sequel, it´s going really well. In a way, this story is going towards that one and it will be connected to it in a surprisingly strange way. Please let me know more about your thoughts on this chapter! Bonsoir, my dear reviewer!

**HikariNoKage44:** Hi, it´s nice to meet you! Welcome to the fanfiction! Unlike you, Uta did catch my attention and when I read the manga, I also hated him in the end. But then I realized I hated him because he tricked me as a reader, betrayed my expectations. And when I understood that, I started loving him again, even more actually. The fact that you´re liking Uta because of my fanfiction is great praise, thank you very much. Please continue writing and supporting me, I´m glad to have all of you around me.^^


	10. Down Memory Lane

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tokyo Ghoul

* * *

**Chapter 10: Down Memory Lane**

Daichi was dreaming. In his state of numbness he had been transported back to his younger years when he had properly become an investigator and had been sent to Germany to the Research Institute and training facilities to acquire considerable knowledge about ghouls. Among all the countries in the world which were leading the combat against ghouls, Germany was, by far, one of the most important. A top-notch Research institute and deadly weapons delivered by the day, Germany was the perfect place to have a taste of reality.

It was there that he met Karl Rosenberg, specialist in Quinque development par excellence. While he was his mentor for a short while, Karl was also his host and in the comfort of his home, Daichi had met Margo and Adelisa. Like two Siamese cats, both women had piercing blue eyes and contrasting hair of black and blonde. Their personalities also clashed. Margo, tall and exuberant, clad herself in pearls and spoke loudly, fearlessly, whereas Adelisa, a tad shorter and possessing a grace of unmistakable nature, favored the act of observing her prey rather than overwhelm it with words. It was with Adelisa that Daichi instantly became love-stricken. There was something about her that made his heart jolt whenever he was in her presence. A certain strength and wisdom pooling in her light-colored eyes or maybe the foreign look of the beautiful woman assured Daichi that no other would shake his existence as Adelisa did. When she accepted him and agreed to follow him to Japan as his wife, he could not believe his ears and when he asked her why she chose him, Adelisa said it was his willingness to do anything for her that made her certain of his love and loyalty. Karl had not been pleased to see one of his daughters snatched away from him especially since deep down, he still rooted for his two offspring to follow in his footsteps.

'I had big plans for these two,' Karl would say to Daichi over a glass of bourbon - one of the rare times the eccentric researcher would open up and confess his sorrow with a tinge of amusement in his tone. 'As a parent, you always hope your children will become what you want them to be but they never do, they squash your expectations and make you realize that they're no longer yours to control and order around shamelessly. I know their potential and I wanted them to become quinque researchers and shake the world of ghouls with their weapons but what can you do when one dreams of becoming an actress and the other spends her day playing the piano and straying from dirty business?'

Daichi would smirk, admitting that the sight of Adelisa in a lab coat would not be that bad but knowing her bonding with a musical instrument rather than a surgical one would make him feel more at ease. Saya as well, had inherited her mother's musical skill and even Kishou himself took lessons in that respect, preferring the more grave and deep cello instead. The time spent with Adelisa, despite being short, had been blissful. His wife had been everything to him and her death nearly killed him too if it weren't for their two children. And now there she was again before his eyes, playing the piano and looking as unreachable as always.

Daichi took a step forward but was instantly stopped by Adelisa's voice.

'Don't come here, Daichi. Not just yet.'

'It's not my time?' The man asked bitterly, wishing to go sit next to her at the piano but remaining motionless nonetheless. She was just as he remembered her, even prettier and that made his heart ache with longing.

'Not yet,' she confirmed smiling.

'Haven't I waited long enough? It's been ten years since you left, Adelisa.'

The young woman rose to her feet, also keeping her distance. 'And you've been fine, my dear.'

'Because I had Kishou and Saya.'

'You still have them and they still need you.'

''They're all grown-up now.'

'We all need our parents, Daichi,' Adelisa said, indicating she knew precisely what she was talking about and Daichi was aware of it as well. When she was alive, his wife had struggled with the need to be close to her family but since distance was an issue it was not often that she could visit Germany. Daichi felt remorseful for thinking, even if for a second, about leaving the world of the living and abandoning their children by his own will. To him, Saya and Kishou were his pride and joy and his loneliness, as heart-breaking as it was, never amounted to the love he felt for the two.

'Did you truly love me, Adelisa?'

The woman blinked her eyes, for a while not understanding the question nor where it came from.

'You never asked me this question,' she said.

Yes, Daichi never did, despite telling her how much he loved her countless times and despite wanting to believe she loved him as much as he loved her, there was always that question at the back of his head, constantly belittling his existence in her eyes.

'It's important to me,' he said, locking his cowardice away. When she was alive, he had been afraid of asking her that question but all of a sudden, the answer did not frighten him anymore. Moreover, he felt entitled to know. He even looked at her straight, having nothing left to lose. Adelisa chuckled, pleasantly surprised to discover this new side of her husband. Almost instantly, she adopted a serious air about her, facing him with all the honesty she could muster.

'I loved you, Daichi. And I still do. Maybe I did not share the same love you harbored for me but I looked for something else in affection. I looked for stability, for unconditional trust and loyalty. I wanted someone who I knew would always be there for me and I was lucky enough to acquire him. I did not covet for a fleeting love Daichi, nor for an attraction that would erode in time but for a sense of completeness that would bloom to last a lifetime,' she confessed, grateful for having the chance to tell all of that to her husband. He now appeared to be so weak and frightened but nevertheless, accepting the answer with relief. 'But aren't you lucky too, Daichi? Aren't you fortunate that your love at first sight did not diminish but instead morphed into a love that resembles my own?'

Daichi nodded, trying to conceal the tears gathering at his eyes.

'We all love differently, my dear. And while I cannot write a romance novel about our liaison, you can rest assured that I would choose you again, Daichi,' Adelisa said, coming closer to her husband. Tears started rolling on Daichi's cheeks, all his pent-up feelings draining away from him. 'If this was my one and only life, I have no regrets and if I am to have one hundred from now on, I will always choose you, my dear.'

"It's been so hard...I miss you everyday," Daichi trembled, revealing his daily mantra. His wife had been the center of his existence and ten years later after her death, she was still the only woman in his heart.

'I know. Be strong. Harsh times are approaching and you need to be there for our children. Especially for Saya.'

Daichi blinked away his confusion.

'Will something happen to Saya?'

'Be there for her,' she repeated. 'For her and for Kishou, just as you have been there for me.'

'Adelisa...' he gasped, realizing that in mere seconds she would be gone and he would not see her again. He tried grabbing onto her arm but she was already white smoke before him, never his entirely.

* * *

Daichi woke up to the image of a bright light stinging his eyes, momentarily confusing his senses and assuring him that he was no longer talking to Adelisa. Instead, his son was right beside his bed, leaned over him, confirming his reversion to reality. Kishou had seen him open his eyes several times, moments in which he called his sister to return to the hospital.

'Father,' Kishou called out , wishing to make sure everything was in order with him.

'Ki...shou, The older man grunted, barely making himself audible against the obstructing oxygen mask over his mouth but conscious enough to relax Kishou's shoulders. His father woke up and recognized him and that was more than he could ask for.

'I'll go get a nurse,' Arima informed and when about to leave his father's side in search for medical help, Daichi raised his hand weakly, attaching it to his son's sack coat. Ignoring his son's protests, Daichi removed his mask and whispered in a ragged tone.

'Tatara was there. The bastard let me live just to tell you this,' Daichi said, his face darkening at that man's image popping back into his head, confident and overly strong. He did not stand a chance against him, wishing the ghoul would rather kill him than put him through the humiliation of waking up to taste defeat in his mouth. Adelisa's earlier words rang into his thoughts, the man briefly regretting being so quick to throw his life away.

'It's alright, Father. You just need to rest right now,' Kishou advised not ready to extract Tatara from his mind just yet. Along with the CCG he had allowed Tatara to grow too strong. While the opportunities had been plenty, that particular ghoul could always make it out alive, much like a cat with nine lives. But even a cat's lives would eventually run out and Kishou would make sure they would. He had to thank Tatara for his surprising sense of pride-one which allowed his father to lengthen his life span.

'Kishou,' Daichi whispered in a grave tone, drawing his son's attention. 'You have to kill Tatara. He's one of the leaders of Aogiri. Cut the evil from its root, Kishou.'

'Father,' Kishou voiced out, staring into the delirious face of his father. 'I am not assigned to the mission in district 11. I am dispatched to apprehend the One-Eyed Owl, do you remember? But rest assured, Marude-san will do everything in his power to rid us of Aogiri.'

Daichi exhaled heavily, letting go of his son and at the same time, of his hope. He looked like a child whose one and only wish had been denied. That hunt for the One-Eyed Owl removed Kishou from dangerous missions to plunge him into even more dangerous missions and while that pestilence of a ghoul had to be exterminated, Daichi continued to feel eternally displeased about it. Being an investigator himself, Kishou fairly understood his father's remorse yet only wished Arima-senior would share his own understanding.

He wondered about what to say next and especially how to say it but was spared by Saya barging into the room gracelessly, eyes full of tears and words of gratitude, a nurse right behind her. She extended her arms to catch her father in an awkward but affectionate embrace and started telling him about how relieved she was to see him awake again. Taking advantage of his relatives' reunion, Kishou exited the room into the hallway, where Marude Itsuki was waiting, face solemn and calm.

'Arima-san,' Marude greeted, his heart going out for the younger man's misfortune. In that line of business, having family members hurt was no rare occurrence, especially when they were as obsessed with their job as Daichi was. The news of having Ward 11 taken away from them had hit them hard but Marude was set on regaining their territory. That was half the reason he was there, for moral support and most importantly for making a promise he was intending to keep.

'Marude-san,' Kishou said back, bowing politely to his senior. 'Thank you for coming, my father will be happy to see you.'

'How is he?'

'Now that he woke up, doctors expect him to make a full recovery. He is a bit restless for failing his comrades but other than that, I believe he will be fine.'

'Arima-san,' Marude began, adopting a serious tone. 'I will do my best to make this mission a success,' the man assured, his fist tightening at his chest earnestly. 'You may leave this to me and focus on defeating that One-Eyed Owl. We will not lose. I give you my word and swear on my pride as a special investigator that I will eliminate those pests.'

'Thank you,' Arima offered his gratitude. They were all in good hands. There was no one more suitable than Marude to be in charge of this mission and his father could actually have his wish of seeing Tatara dismissed fulfilled after all. He shook Marude's hand, transferring some of his encouragement to him as well. Marude then retrieved his hand and looked past Kishou's shoulder.

'Arima-san,' Marude acknowledged Saya's presence. He wondered how long had she been standing there listening to them and if her brother had been aware of it. He must have been since Kishou did not appear surprised to see her behind him. Saya looked drained of power and impossibly sad, the recent events injecting her with a different level of worry.

'The nurse told me to wait outside,' she replied to Kishou's inquiring gaze. Saya heard everything there was to hear, from Marude's vow to exterminate ghouls to her brother's offered thanks to the other investigator. 'Can I come too? On this mission, I mean?' She asked, staring Marude in the eye.

'What do you think you're asking, Saya?' Kishou helped out Marude from his momentary distress. He had never thought he would hear the Arima daughter to request being taken to the battlefield. Marude cleared his throat, choosing the less direct method of refusing the girl.

'Arima-san, I know you want vengeance on behalf of your father but as I was also saying to your brother, you can leave matters in my hands. I will make sure to kill every last ghoul in district 11,' Marude promised with vehemence and it was precisely that vehemence that induced Saya into a state of distress. She bit her lower lip, failing to rise to such noble standards as looking to avenge her father when in fact she only wanted to join because both Uta and Kaneki would be there and she would not forgive herself if anything happened to them.

'I'll stay in the assigned vehicle, I won't move an inch,' Saya tried again, still trying to sensitize Marude for lack of better luck with her brother. 'Please.'

'Arima-san...' Marude said helplessly to the girl.

'Saya. You have no place on the battlefield. You're better suited to watch over Father while he is recovering, this is your mission,' Kishou supplied the girl with the alternative but she resisted.

'Stop treating me like a child!' Saya stated, not wishing to give up.

It was as if time stopped flowing at her outburst and she could finally see who she truly was. She never once shouted at anyone, never once acted selfishly and now she was doing all of those shameful acts altogether, in the face of someone who did not deserve them and who only thought about her well-being. Saya could not believe how much she changed on such short notice. Kishou briefly regarded her as if she was a stranger but she could not blame him for it. Even Marude felt uncomfortable, not wishing to stay in the middle of that quarrel any second longer. But Saya was afraid. She knew ghouls were going to die and while that fact did not personally affect her, she prayed Uta and Kaneki would not be among them. She had to be there. If push came to shove she would jump in front of Uta and protect him, no matter the cost.

Saya stepped forward, defying her brother as she decided:

"I'm going".

* * *

'So you're actually going to go on that Kaneki rescuing mission? Usually, you wouldn't bother,' Itori touted on Uta, placing another glass of red liquid in front of him. As always around that time of the night, they were alone in Itori's bar and whereas Yomo would sometimes join them, he was currently busy discussing the last-minutes details of the Aogiri Tree infiltration.

'It's not much of a bother,' the tattooed ghoul replied, gulping the entire drink in one go.

'Especially since you're hitting two birds with one stone,' Itori declared sneakily, her smile stretching wickedly from one corner of her mouth to the other. Uta dismissed the statement, shoving his empty glass in her line of vision.

'Did anyone ever tell you to invest in larger glasses? Now that's practical.'

'Why not take the whole bottle?' Itori suggested, bringing forth a bottle of the same blood type which he snatched and proceeded to empty.

'She's making you hungry,' the woman added upon witnessing his eagerness to feed himself.

'Very,' Uta agreed, suddenly feeling the need to see Saya again.

Itori sighed, watching him greedily. Years back the both of them would have drenched themselves in blood, spending an entire night on wasting human lives and pulling at each other till they felt they would die of amusement. Years back they were together and she could reach out to him and claim him without repercussions just as simply as he used to do with her. Itori had never been in love, she did not believe ghouls could truly feel that deeply towards someone but she was certain Uta had been her peak, her most wanted and cherished. He had been wild and ruthless, sparing no one and eating everyone, even cannibalize her if she weren't strong enough to put up a barely decent fight. She wondered why they ever drifted apart when they were so good for each other. Maybe they were too good, maybe they just had too much fun. For a brief second she asked herself what exactly he liked about that human girl. As pretty as she was, Arima's sister was Uta's complete opposite and she would never get to know his genuine self. It took all the frankness she could muster but she finally acknowledged she was slightly jealous of Saya. Almost afraid of what she could do and how far away from her she would take Uta.

'Ne, do you really like that girl, Uta?'

Uta glanced down at the lingering hand that had dropped on his arm, issuing caresses long forgotten and had realized it meant nothing to him. He looked up at Itori, whispering poison in her ears:

'I wanted to kill you during that time, Itori.'

'But you didn't,' she said, retrieving her hand disappointed.

'Because that is the real bother,' he supplied.

'You cruel man...'

'Whatever do you mean?'

Extremely cruel. And irresistible. But she knew. Itori comprehended everything from his glare, from the manner in which his exposed white skin glistened and the way the words rolled out from his mouth, how much that woman managed to etch herself into his being. Itori dreaded it. Were she to reach for him once again, he would tear that arm like it was nothing and then plunge in for her heart, bother or not. But maybe that way, they could truly become one.

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**A/N:** Hello everyone! I'm so sorry I'm late with this chapter especially since I went over 100 reviews just recently! Thank you so much for reading, for staying with me so long and for letting me know your thoughts! I had a rough time lately with my job and fighting a nasty cold but now I'm back in the game!

I am aware that not many of you are interested in Daichi and Adelisa but I swear, I'm setting the grounds for something, that scene has a purpose.

Thank you for the ones who are following and have added this story to their favorites.

**Special thanks to my reviewers!**

**Cyleana:** OMG, Happy Birthday! I hope you had a wonderful day and you got the presents you wanted. May you have luck in life and good health to accompany you. Sorry for the long wait but I'm so happy to have updated on your birthday, this way I feel like I have given you a present as well^^. Aogiri Tree is really crazy, they have so many challenging characters that simply turn a story into something spectacular, you just have to be prepared to face the characters, take them for what they are and throw them into the mix! As for Saya, even harder times are approaching but she'll manage one way or another. I plan on taking my time and spreading the madness XD. Plus, Kaneki is suffering more at the moment, that precious baby. T.T Sometimes, you need a lot of inspiration for the perfect plot so maybe one day, you'll get there. See you next time, yes! Love!

**Hikiri:** What a precise observation, thank you so much for the comment. To tell you the truth, this is what I've been aiming for, I always wanted to write a story where the characters themselves are wondering what's going to happen next. Maybe that's what makes it more authentic, I don't know. I think it isn't fun for main characters to always be in control, I can never relate to those sort of characters and while Saya is sometimes incredibly stupid and weak, she does have her strong points which will help her character develop more. Thank you for calling the story 'realistic' and for appreciating the effort I put into the lines of my characters, it was the greatest compliment ever. I hope to see you here again, you've all become indispensable to me. Take care!

**Chiharu-angel:** Thank you for the comment! It pains me to think about Kaneki being tortured and while I won't talk about it too much, I still feel so sorry for him. I think it's impossible not to like Kaneki, which is why even Saya can't leave him alone. Catch you next chapter!

**RainingCandy:** Oh, my, thank you! Nice to meet you! Such words of praise, I don't deserve them! However, I'm extremely happy to see you're liking the story so far and that you find the details a good addition. New characters come with their own sets of characters and circumstances so I'm lucky to have so many readers appreciate this. I will continue writing, please watch over me from now on as well ^.^

**Flatwaffles29:** Everyone loves Aogiri, don't they? XD Even I'm super excited about it, it's like I have so many things to choose to write about. And you're right about Jason, that's precisely why I wanted to include that scene, to show how obsessed he is with her. Plus, it would be a bit weird if word did not get around that Arima's little sister is dating a ghoul. Everyone knows except the human side of the conflict, that's more terrifying than Jason itself! Here's the chapter, let me know your thoughts. As always, see you next time.

**sherlaylay:** Ayato simply had to be in it, I secretly like him XD. Not as much as the rest of the dominant characters but who doesn't like a tough guy who still cares for his sister? Though, can I have a piece of his father? I have a thing for overly kind characters who also happen to look like THAT *drool. The new Kaneki will have a play in the following chapters, everything is settled and calculated so hopefully, it will be as exciting for you guys as it is for me. Please continue to root for the story and be pumped about it, I will also look forward to your review. Have a lovely week! (And you're my 100th reviewer! *hands cake)

**Shiro Arisu:** Thank you soooooooooooooooooo much! I'm bringing Uta love back, the bastard still hasn't left my heart. Welcome to the story and you have my gratitude for taking the time to comment and I really hope it won't be the last time. Unfortunately, I can't tell you what will happen in the end but I will make sure to give the best, logical ending to this fanfiction, taking into account the characters and their actions in the original story *wink

**Megohime of Mutsu:** It's ok if you didn't review, we all have lives and time is so short. I need more hours in a day and I'm sure there are many of you who vouch for the same thing! Thanks for the encouraging words, I'm also curious to see how you find Adelisa. And I'm also aching to write fighting scenes, next chapter shall help me work on description and action, to the point scenes will be extremely vivid. May we speak again! Love love!

**The Chocolate Cow:** Thank you, my new reviewer! Yes, some moments seem to pass a bit quick but that's because I don't want to bore my readers. Plus, this fanfiction is not nearing its end that fast so there will be opportunities to drag it on. But I'm fortunate to know it's successful and pleasing fans. Step by here again!^^

**wlfchen:** No worries, I got your review now and that makes me really happy! You said a very accurate thing, the story is connecting the dots and running in circles to both confuse and enlighten the reader. I really miss watching Tokyo Ghoul so writing this fanfiction is helping me cope with my loss XD. I hope to hear from you again. Until then, please take care! :)

**crayonx3:** Hey there once again!^^ Rize is also a favorite for me, she is true to her nature and does not deny what she is. I actually wanted to set out to write about Rize at first but in the end, Uta won, the rascal! Thank you for always reviewing and keeping me confident about this story, your words are always encouraging. Whenever I see your id picture, I get reminded of Suzuya! Do you know how much of a big part he has in this fanfiction? Nobody knows yet, just me so hopefully, I'll spread some Suzuya love as well. Have a great day as well and talk to you next time!


	11. Anyone but you

** Chapter 11: Anyone but you**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul nor the characters.  
**

* * *

It was all new to Saya. It was as if she had been living under a rock all those years and now she was out there in the real world for the first time. When she asked to be brought along on the mission to liberate the 11th ward, she did not expect for everything to be that overwhelming or better said, that frightening. Unbelievably enough, her brother had not insisted on stopping her and while that would be an alarm signal in other circumstances, this time, he probably credited her outburst to the recent incident with their father and had allowed her to be selfish for once. Saya was thankful to him but had wished he could have come along. She would never admit it to his face but Saya knew there was no safer place for her than besides her brother and while Marude was praise-worthy enough to be appointed her guardian, Saya still found it difficult to be surrounded by strangers in an unfamiliar and armored vehicle which had been parked far enough from the mall for their protection but close enough to be in the middle of everything.

'Keep your eyes on the radar, men! I want to know every move, do you hear?' Marude Itsuki barked, hovering above the beeping screens installed inside.

'Yes, sir!' The other three CCG men inside the vehicle responded while checking their monitors for any suspicious movement and keeping in contact with the soldiers outside who were ready to infiltrate the Aogiri Tree base.

Saya shifted in her chair, failing to understand their language code and not making much of what was happening outside. After all, she could not read the radar or interpret information and even if she could she would not - she was there to observe, not participate. She never imagined an investigator's job to be that complex. Yes, danger was a given but to be able to master various weapons, insert courage into strategy and handle time management was highly impressive. And everyone was the same, they had similar training and identical goals; they all blended with one another and gained each other's trust by cooperating in the darkest of scenarios. So many individuals that seemed to share the same fate; Amon, Shinohara, Suzuya - all gathered together with their team members in specialized combat vehicles advancing towards the 11th ward. And that's where the line between the two sides was crossed; the CCG members riding in tenths of cars, weapons at the ready and her, driving in another car, safe and shielded from the harsh sense of the battle. And then it finally began, the storm of gunshots.

'What's happening? How are we being outgunned?' Marude demanded, suddenly becoming impatient.

'The enemy is using kagune shields and scopes,' one of his men supplied upon observing the bullet exchange between their force and the opposing one.

`Former soldiers, huh?' The inspector questioned rhetorically, not liking the delay caused by such miscalculations. Without cue, he stood up suddenly and directed his attention solely to Saya.

'Arima-san,' Marude addressed her right before he exited the car to go join his main force.'You are to stay inside this vehicle at all times. Do you understand?'

'Yes,' Saya replied in a tone so serious it was absolutely impossible to read the wavering behind it.

'You are my responsibility and I would not know how to face your brother if anything were to happen,' Marude said, peering his eyes into her own. 'Remember, the main condition for you to join us was to stay put and not cause any trouble.'

Marude was completely different when in his CCG skin, Saya noted. While reliable and a bit too self-important, Saya always thought of Marude to be slightly goofy but the person standing right there before her was able to break walls and start a revolution. That person was not asking her to be on her best behavior, he was ordering her. And with good reason to, Saya was a small traitor at the core of it all. If only they knew she was there to try and ensure a certain group of ghouls would not be harmed.

'Don't worry, Marude-san. I won't move an inch from my seat.'

'Good,' the man nodded and shooting a warning look to the members inside, he left to join the other groups. His foot extended brutally to open the door, annoyed by how long such small tasks were dragging on.

`Damn it! You've gotta be kidding me!' Marude cursed, heading straight to the front lines. `Give me that!' He barked at one of his men, tearing the riffle from his hands and pointing it at the offensive row of ghouls. Wasting not one bullet in vain, the inspector fired steadily, quickly eliminating one of the best shooters in the group. Showing them how it's done, Marude ordered:

`Take out that insidious sniper nest immediately!'

`Amazing...did you see that?' His men commented in awe. Even inside the vehicle the event kept sinking in.

`Marude-san is so cool, there's no target he can't shoot, can't he?'

Saya agreed. So much her stomach churned with nausea just by thinking either Uta or Kaneki or any of their party could get hurt. She had to warn them. Saya had no idea how but she simply had to let Uta and his friends know that they were cornered or else there was truly no point for her to be there. Without question she was overstepping her boundaries and taking advantage of the people who were entrusted with her safety but she was there for a reason and she hoped to contribute with even the smallest of matters to ensure Uta and Kaneki's survival.

A chain of laughter erupted inside the vehicle, drawing Saya's attention to the men in charge of the monitors. Something had caused them amusement and while she was curious to pinpoint the cause she was also astonished by how well those people managed to act normal under the grim circumstances outside.

'I can't believe it!' One of them said between tears, trying to calm down his laughter. 'Did you see Marude-san's face? He was crying, crying I tell you!'

'I know, right? Well, I would be too if someone trashed my motorcycle that way. Good thing I don't own one,' another replied, drawing in breaths and shaking his head in stupefaction. 'But seriously, that new guy, Suzuya, is crazy. He doesn't follow the rules, does he? I have no idea how he got this far.'

'Obviously because he's good at it,' the third one who had remained silent finally joined the conversation. 'He might have sacrificed Marude-san's motorcycle but with it, he also wiped off the entire resistance front so we can now enter the building.'

The truth of those words weighted on all of them, encompassing the space in silence. It seemed that Suzuya had destroyed Marude's property in order to ensure entry in the abandoned mall. Based on what was said, Saya had to hand it to Suzuya, for the freak that he was, he was clearly proficient at his job.

'But still,' the solemn one leaned in, 'the look on Marude's face!' And that was all it took for the CCG members to break into laughter again and for Saya to take the opportunity to sneak out. It was now or never. With the men busy poking fun at their superiors, Saya somehow managed to slither to the door and exit the car unseen.

She knew it wouldn't be long before they noticed her absence which was why the moment her feet touched the ground, she began running in an unknown direction, anywhere that would take her far away from momentary imprisonment. However, just seconds into her escape, she began regretting her action. Saya had never seen a battlefield before.

There was dust everywhere, smell of gun powder and blood. CCG soldiers were running all around the place trying to monopolize the area, fighting off deformed humans that actually turned out to be ghouls, each side more vicious than the other. Bullets were flying everywhere, the sound of gunshots hurting Saya's ears and the thunder screams of agony and frustration made her realize she was not deaf enough. The human side was shouting out orders while the ghoul one was advancing profanities, making it difficult to understand which side had the upper hand. Saya saw brand new quinques used in battle and weapons she only heard of as they efficiently cut through flesh and dismembered adversaries. She saw people dying just meters in front of her, bodies which once belonged to humans gushing into fountains of blood never to be recognized. The earth trembled under her feet or maybe she was the one trembling, horror-struck by the unimaginable sight in front of her. She wanted to go back, to crawl into the CCG vehicle that had kept her ignorant but safe. Kishou was right, he was always right, she had no place on the battlefield. She would never be able to overcome the initial shock and now she was probably going to get killed due to her arrogance.

What was she imagining? That she would get out of the car and run straight into Uta's arms? She hid behind a tree watching the combat, her eyes searching for a familiar face. Anyone would do.

But there was no one. Someone did approach her though but his intentions were far from honorable.

'What's a tasty-looking girl like you doing here? Are you lost, perhaps?'

Saya cringed,the man's exposed kakugan casting no doubt over his kind. She took a step behind, bumping into the tree and therefore her dead end.

'Stay away. If you touch me, the CCG are going to stop you.'

'Are they?' The ghoul took a dramatic look around him. 'I see none paying attention to you, kind miss. Who's going to step away from their battle to come save a brainless little human like you?'

'Just let me go,' Saya tried, herself knowing everything was over for her and only a miracle would be able to get her out of that mess. A sharp kagune came straight at her, etching itself into the tree trunk behind her, issuing some splinters into the process. Saya screamed instinctively but remained helplessly in place.

'Don't worry, I missed on purpose,' the ghoul snickered, drawing closer. 'You see, I like hearing humans scream right before I devour them. You could call those my appetizers.'

Saya glared at the ghoul, gritting her teeth in order to prevent other cries from escaping her mouth but now her eyes were plaguing her with problems. She felt her eyes would water her cheeks soon enough as she foresaw her death with no one else to witness it or save her. Now that she reached that predicament, Saya regretted showing up to that mission with no real plan at the ready and the image of her father, brother and Uta crept into her head as she silently asked them for forgiveness. If she could, she would turn back time, stay obediently in the vehicle and play the part of the observant. Yet, as she closed her eyes expecting to feel the kagune which shot towards her the second time to pierce her skin, Saya realized she was lying to herself. She would do it all again.

In a way, it was as if the universe rewarded her for her sincerity. The kagune never touched her, not her anyway. When she opened her eyes to inspect the damage, she was left breathless at the sight of a red-cloaked man standing before her and acting out the role of a shield. The ghoul retracted his blue member, growling at the intruder. In the spare seconds they were given, Saya saw her protector take off his hood and regard her sternly.

'I can't even begin to understand why you're here.'

'Uta,' Saya breathed out, sensing her muscles relax and her heart diminishing its rhythm in relief. That man really did have impeccable timing, much like her own brother but this time, it was Uta's turn to intervene and save her. Unfortunately, that fact did not sit well with the other ghoul who was not about to retreat and let this opportunity fly by.

'Hey, I don't know who the hell you are but you'd better back off,' the ghoul addressed Uta, preparing himself to remove the uninvited guest. 'I saw her first.'

'I beg to differ,' came the aloof voice of his contender. Uta watched dispassionately as the ghoul initiated another attack, clumsy and barely intimidating in comparison to what he had in store for him. He lunged in for a fatal attack, not once bothering to activate his kagune unlike the other ghoul who could barely keep himself in check. As Uta finished him off, Saya turned to look away, unable to see another kill for that day. The struggle finally stopped and she exhaled a breath she kept supressed all that time.

'Well?' Uta inquired coming closer to Saya. 'Why are you here?'

'To...help you,' she replied with difficulty. His tone was as calm as ever, his expression unreadable but tempered and yet Saya was slightly afraid of him. It was less because of the man he had slaughtered right before her very eyes and more about what she saw nestling behind the read tinge of his eyes. He was displeased, maybe a bit angry with her and while she could imagine the reason, she felt he was being unfair . Yes, she had gotten in trouble when she was actually supposed to be miles away from this place but he was all she could think of and she would not stand losing him.

'To help me?' Uta repeated, his eyebrows rising quizzically, as if he had heard the most preposterous of things. His body had neared just inches from hers, an arm raised, resting on the trunk of the tree. 'How interesting. Just seconds ago, I was busy dispatching lives in the eastern perimeter when I suddenly catch a whiff of your scent. I thought I was hallucinating but even so, I rushed over to check. And here you are, knocking at Death's door. Helping me.'

While there was no mocking accent in his voice, the entire text of his speech was dripping with ironic notes. Saya knew herself she was of not much help but she hated being that useless.

'I know it wasn't a very bright thing to do, I know that but I needed to warn you. The CCG have the entire perimeter surrounded, there's no way of getting out now.'

'We've figured this much,' Uta replied, glancing at the battle in the distance. 'But we'll manage.'

´Will you really? Do you promise that?´

She was so fearful of the wrong things. The fact she worried more about him than her made Uta give up on his plan to ask retribution for her foolishness. It annoyed him that she did not stay put at home but given the recent scare she had experienced, it was expected of him to spare her the scolding. For now.

´We´ll manage,'he repeated.

´Kaneki...´

Uta shook his head for a negative answer. ´We haven't finished looking. And speaking of which, I should go back,'he said, lowering his voice.

´What is it?´ Saya questioned, sensing something was wrong.

´A human is approaching,' Uta informed. ´He'll have to do. Go with him back to your stationed cars and stay there. The perimeter is safe now but I can't bring you back, you'll have to stick with him.´

Saya opened her mouth to protest which gave the signal for Uta to pull out a knife he had picked up from one of the CCG soldiers he had incapacitated earlier and hand it to her. ´Take this. If he's not reliable, protect yourself.´

Saya looked at the knife and then back at him nodding mechanically.

´Just in case,´ he justified. ´When all of this is over, I'll come find you.

She looked after Uta, a bit anxious to be left behind but fully comprehending the risks of having him lurk by while a human was approaching them. She wondered who could it be; a regular soldier, an investigator perhaps, if lucky maybe even Amon Koutaru who would not spare her the sermons of straying from the protected area but would at least bring her back safely. She squinted her eyes as she saw someone emerging from the trees, an instant later wishing she'd be thrown into fire than having to rely on help from that person.

Suzuya continued walking in her direction, his face all but a sadistic grin. Whatever the reason he was happy, Saya was not certain she wanted to find out. He had traces of blood all drying up on his face and as she took a closer look at him, she noticed he was dragging something behind him. At first, she was uncertain about it but a few steps closer and the unidentifiable object finally revealed itself as a dead person, all but tattered and bathed in blood. Saya gasped, stepping back thus eliciting a dark chuckle from Suzuya's part.

'Don't worry about him, Arima-san. He can't hurt you, he's dead,' he gestured to the dead ghoul at his feet. 'This is Jason and now that I've given him a proper send-off from this world, I will finally receive a quinque.' He was _proud_ about it. He had killed someone, as his duty requested and he had enjoyed it thoroughly. She had never seen her brother take pleasure in killing ghouls, but clearly, Suzuya was a completely different species. That skinny boy had not only managed to kill a ghoul of that size but had also dragged him for who knows how many miles. It was beyond reason.

'It's not him I'm afraid of,' Saya finally said, hoping someone else would come save her, anyone really. That knife she got from Uta became awfully attractive all of a sudden.

Suzuya looked confused, tilting his head to the right, trying to decipher if there was any other meaning to her words. When nothing specific came to mind, he decisively put the statement past him.

'I've been meaning to ask, Arima-san, why are you out here? Weren't you supposed to stay put besides Marude-san's side like the good girl that you are?'

Saya hated his condescending tone, delivered in fragments of irony, precisely to point out that she was in trouble. Even a child would know she was not supposed to be there and as of now, she was to be penalized by Marude for her reckless actions. It was a miracle she was even allowed to accompany them on this mission but disobeying orders and extracting herself from the safety haven she was assigned to was ridiculous. Marude was probably in shatters by now. Still, it wasn't as if she hadn't had her own share of karma. From the moment she had stepped out of the car, she had been frightened to the core, harassed by a vicious ghoul, nearly escaped death and to top it all out, she was still in dire straits, Suzuya's presence accounting little to reliability. But there was always room for worse.

'It's complicated,' Saya replied, opting for the more ambiguous answer.

'Hmmm...I wonder about that,' Suzuya mused, having seen the dead ghoul murdered just meters away from them and finding it hard to believe said flesh eater had not been involved. 'Well, it can't be helped,' Suzuya chanted and extended a bloody hand toward Saya, 'I'll take you back to your watchdogs.'

The young woman stared at the tainted hand for a while, wondering if Suzuya was being serious or simply toying with her. From her brief experience with the bizarre investigator, it was most certain he was testing her, eager to inspect the reaction he would get but Saya was prepared to rob him of that satisfaction.

'Thank you but I can walk without attendance. Moreover, you already have your hands full,' she said, referring to the dead weight Suzuya was dragging around.

'Suit yourself,' he retreated his hand, still awfully pleased by the outcome and proceeded to move away from their spot in search for his group, Saya forcing herself to walk besides him, thus avoiding seeing the said deceased Jason. 'I had forgotten blood is not for girls. It's too bad because it is such a pretty red color, don't you think?'

'I simply hate sullying myself,' Saya disregarded his unnecessary additions.

'It doesn't seem like it.'

At that, she stopped in her tracks. Whenever they met, he always spoke as if he knew everything that was going on and this time was no different. Did he see her speaking with Uta earlier? He couldn't have, Uta would have noticed. Or maybe he picked up something from the circumstances or his intuition was highly-developed. Either way, he was right. She had sullied herself and continued doing it even now, lying and hiding matters of serious implications. Saya could no longer pretend she was innocent. As she saw Jason's disfigured face all muddled up and vacant, easily pulled away by Suzuya, she realized that some of the victims that were to come were probably going to be a result of her betrayal and she wondered how on earth she was going to sleep from now on.

'Arima-saaan,' Suzuya's voice brought her back to reality. 'If you don't hurry up, you're going to be left behind. You might even be eaten by a ghoul.'

'Somehow, I think that wouldn't affect you.'

This time, it was Suzuya's turn to put a halt to his steps. He turned his head to Saya, an eerie look gleaming in his usually dead eyes.

'That's not true, Arima-san. If they found out you got hurt or murdered in my company I would never get a quinque, right?'

What a cruel and primitive answer. Yet she deserved that and even more. Saya gulped down any misplaced retort that would make its way through the barrier of her lips and rejoined Suzuya in his return to the CCG camp.

'How is the mission going? Do we have someone in our custody?' Saya asked Suzuya, hoping to get some clue regarding Kaneki's whereabouts.

'Custody...' Suzuya repeated between giggles. 'Spoken like a true diplomat, Arima-san. Well, I guess there's this guy over here,' Suzuya indicated Jason, 'but then again, taking someone in custody implies the person is still alive. Think we do that often around here?'

'You didn't have to put it that way,' she said dejected, briefly forgetting about the annoying dragging noise perpetuating behind them.

'There's no other way to put it. Ghouls have to be killed.'

'Of course. Every last one of them.'

'You know something, Arima-san...Sometimes, I think you are a very bad liar.'

It took all the strength needed to keep walking in line with him, her facial muscles remaining motionless. He could read her. A bit too clearly. That strange boy could see it in her-the nest of vipers swarming in betrayal. And she envied him. She used to be like that too before she met Uta. She used to be an ally of justice, even more, a believer of truth only who could unmask any lie at any given time until she became a whole lie herself. She felt the urge to tell him everything, somehow hoping that his quirkiness would allow him to justify her actions. Maybe he could understand. Or maybe he would kill her right there, not sparing her a second glance for shaking the very foundation of their mission.

Whatever panic-issued thought she had, it dispersed at the sound of Marude's voice which pierced the air like an unforgiving whip.

'Arima-san!'

It was then that she realized they had finally reached their temporary base. Marude almost flew over to her, his strong fingers grasping onto her fragile arms.

'Thank Heavens you're alright! Are you hurt? Did anything happen to you? Why did you leave the car?'

Saya took in all the questions-one at a time-straining to find the right answer to each of them without avail. She simply kept looking at Marude defeated, silently blaming him for ordering the assassination of each ghoul in sight, wishing to make him spare Uta and Kaneki. A part of her knew they had managed to escape but the rest of her dreaded to see them behind Marude on their knees.

'It was you, wasn't it?' Marude detached himself from Saya to launch an even more brutal attack on Suzuya. 'You took Arima-san out with you, didn't you Suzuya-kun?'

Saya blinked, not understanding how the conversation deviated focus from her to Suzuya. If anything, the boy had brought her to safety,so-to-speak.

'Do you think this is a game, Suzuya-kun?' Marude insisted, his accumulated stress finally bursting out on the wrong person. 'A road-trip, perhaps? Do you think Arima-san here came to have fun and you appointed yourself as her guide? Is that so, Suzuya-kun?'

Bystanders also came into view, Marude's men being drawn in by their superior's loud voice and frantic body language as he tried to convey his indignation. Suzuya,however, remained silent, a wide grin slitting across his face, almost enjoying the misplaced scolding. His eyes shone with excitement, curious to see how far Marude would go before his face would reach alarming tinges of red and choke on his own breaths. It was either that or he was surprisingly covering for Saya -fact which made her sick to the core. She wanted to owe him nothing, no matter his intentions.

'What do you have to say for yourself, Suzuya-kun?!"

'Marude-san, it was not...' Saya started but was immediately cut off by Suzuya's unearthly voice.

'It's not good to shield little girls forever, Marude-san. Plus, I brought her back safely, didn't I?'

'You little...' Marude began, his fingers twitching in spasms from all the anger.

'Marude-san,' one of his men interrupted the investigator, 'it's not only Arima-san that he brought back.'

They all followed the trajectory of his pointed hand, staring in awe at the dead ghoul behind Suzuya. Marude took a better look, initially not believing his eyes. He thought it was just another ghoul the boy picked up as a sick trophy and not actually one of the CCG hunted heads.

'Jason...' Marude whispered, expecting the ghoul to rise up at any moment and kill them all in sight. 'Did you do this? Did you kill Jason, Suzuya-kun?'

'It was no big deal. He barely put up a fight,' Suzuya commented, remembering he was half-dead when he found him anyways.

Exclamations of admiration echoed through their ranks and it was mainly because of those that Marude refrained himself from reprimanding the younger investigator. He would not praise but he would at least keep his mouth shut for the moment,that boy did eliminate Jason as a threat.

'Come along, Arima-san,' Marude instructed solemnly, shooting one last intimidating glare to Suzuya and planning to bring Saya to safety first and deal with the aftermath later.

Saya decided resisting was not necessary and intended to follow Marude back to the vehicle but not without attempting to offer a fragment of gratitude to her questionable savior.

'Thank you, I suppose.'

Suzuya said nothing to that. Instead, he kept looking at her like she was a mouse caught in a cage. Saya too, sensed the danger and wondered why on earth he decided to cover for her. The implications for that had to be a bit worrisome.

'What about your quinque?'

'I'll still get it,' he replied, watching with great interest as two of his comrades were trying to lift Jason's body off the ground and bring him to their camp. 'You're not as important as you think, Arima-san.'

Saya gracefully took the hit of that statement and walked away, not once looking back.

* * *

**A/N:** And chapter done! I can't believe I finished this, I had terrible writer's block and NO TIME to work on it but now that I've crossed this dreadful chapter I can hopefully move on to quicker updates. I got sick of Saya in this chapter though, I need a break from her!

Is anyone still out there, though? It's been a while XDXD. Even so, I'm replying to you guys below, as always. And the surprising thing is that I'm still getting followers even though I've neglected this fanfiction for so long. It's time I step up!

Thank you to all of my followers and people who added this story to their favorites, it kept my interest for this story alive.

**Cyleana:** Hey again!^^ So you're from Germany? Ah, so much diversity on , it's amazing how reading can bring so many people together. I did choose Germany because it is mentioned in the manga and I thought it would make sense for Adelisa to be German and have a little story there. Glad you liked the addition. As for Uta, I can see him no other way, especially after the manga. I always thought he's a semi-safe card to play but boy, was I wrong! Oo;Never trust anime characters. Hope you're doing well Cyleana and hope we'll be able to fangirl again!

**sherlaylay:** How are you, still around? It would make me happy to know you haven't given up on this fanfiction. It's good that you still have questions about Saya's family, I can't have everything exposed right from the beginning but little by little, I'm getting there. And you know, I secretly think Itori goes well with Uta, especially giving their history and their nature. If there's a ghoul out there for Uta, from all the characters we've seen I mean, she's probably the one. They're both so despicable and if that's not a match well-made, I don't know what is. However, there's Saya and just as you've said, Uta could never have with Itori what he has with Saya and I bet that's the beauty of it. Please take care!

**AnimeFreak145:** Aww, thank you so much! If the chemistry between Saya and Uta is liked then I can breathe in peace, it's somewhat difficult to grasp love between two people that are so different and while I do believe opposites attract, that doesn't necessarily mean their relationship is without flaw so praise to you for spotting Saya's passion and willingness to try. As for the paragraphing, I'm actually trying to write this in the spirit of novel composition and this is why the paragraphs have such lengths so I'm sorry about that. To make it easier to read, you can copy the chapter in a text editor (Word for example) and format it as you will.^^ Please come back again!

**Catriona-Yagri:** Tips, hmm...there isn't really a magic solution for getting characters right and even I make a mess out of things don't deny characters for what they are, try to really think if they would act the way you imagine them to or if they would really say a line you have created for them. Visualize it in an anime setting and you are good to go. Good luck!

**SchokoDelphin:** Thank you for the wishing and praise! And especially for sticking with me, honestly. Congrats on finishing your exams and may all be well with your next ones! Hope to see you here again with feedback. Bye! :)

**wlfchen:** Hello hello! It's been forever, I know. I re-read all of my reviewer's comments and I can't allow myself to neglect this story anymore, especially since I have such attentive readers. Yes, it's my fanfiction the one where I mentioned Itori loved a human, I should have pointed things better in Chapter 10. In fact, I wanted to specify that of all the ghouls Itori had a relationship with, Uta was her supreme, as far as 'ghoul love' goes. I really have to go back and correct so many things, from spelling to formatting but it's gonna take a while but thank you for pointing it out to having Saya stand up to her brother was scary, even for me. XD Let's see what happens next in the Arima household. Please be well!

**crayonx3:** The deal with writing is that you have to have time and strength to stay committed. You have to love your story because if you start falling out of love with your ideas and your plot, the reader will sense it, will unmask you and then rightfully dessert you. I had a point where I felt I couldn't continue with this story and then I had to mentally slap myself to realize I still liked it and I wanted to bring it to its closure and share with you all what I thought is best to happen. So I'm glad you take strength from this fanfiction because I do too and so I won't let Uta go just yet. Suzuya is great and he deserves the spot I prepared for him in this story so I'm wishing you'll stick around to reach the end with me. In the meantime, I got another cold but now I'm recovering from it. XD Stay healthy and may we talk again!

**Guest:** I love you too for loving this!^^

**CoffeeWitch:** Ah, I love witches, so glad you could join us! It doesn't matter how you read it, I'm just glad you are. :)

**Blackwolf94:** Thank youuuuuuuuu! I can really feel the love.

**Hikiri:** I missed your critical eye and precise comments, reading your words again really does make me more enthusiastic about writing. Don't think too much about the Adelisa scene, I'm just planting seeds to make everything flow smoothly in future chapters. I can't write without foreshadowing or intense connections, everything has to have a purpose. And as always, you're right...Itori is a ticking bomb, she will cause something but not just yet, there are already too many detonators around Saya. In fact, she's one too. As for WoW...I soooo want to play games! I'm the type who would rather stay indoors and play a game than go out for a social meeting or party but that's mainly because I don't have the right people to do that with. Next time, invite me over for games! XD. I'll try to keep my ground and not fail so miserably.

**Lnyarg:** I have but I'm trying to stay away from the sequel because I want to stay anchored in this story, I don't want to change too much of my original ideas. I'm not even watching the second season of Tokyo Ghoul, it went south for me from the first and only episode I saw. XD Just...no.

**Becka3490:** Thank you for your fave, please return and let me know your thoughts^^.

**RuhGezgini:** It's funny how people haunt some sections of fanfiction without ever thinking they would read something, I'm actually the same! :)) So the fact that you gave my story a shot is a great compliment for me, thank you so much.

**Bleeding Of Life:** Hello there! Oh dear reader, I misspell so many things; when I go back and re-read, I cringe. Badly XD. It's because I hurry to update and I forget to do a final read like normal people do. One day, I promise, I'll read one chapter per day and correct everything. In the meantime, I'll take your praise, thank you for it and invite you to drop by and read again. Thank you and take care!

** .73:** Nice to meet you! It's great you're liking my version of Uta, he's a real chore to keep in character. XD But luckily for me, he's the type of character to stay silent when he has to and talk A LOT when the situation asks for it so I have freedom with him. Please let me know what you've thought abut this chapter.^^

**OfSilverandDice:** At this point, sentimentality has to come from side-characters, they always seem to express more in-depth wisdom than the rest which was why Daichi was the perfect option to set some things in motion and give some sweetness to this universe. And I know, right? Saya's just...wtf.

**symphonysiren: **Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! *hands cookies*

**sayatsukiyomi:** Bonjour! Toi, tu t'appelles Saya aussi? Quelle coïncidence! :) Le chapitre est prêt, merci pour ta patience.

**Kat Khaos:** So many thanks for following this story and giving each chapter a proper read! I'm sad too that not many people like to write about Uta, he's a character with so much potential. That's mainly why I thought about this story and came to the conclusion that an OC would not be so out of place if logically introduced in the story. And I precisely wanted her to be feminine. A high society girl who despite knowing how to discern good from evil, can't resist going to the dark side XD. And for that to be achieved I don't think I needed Saya to be extra strong or brilliant, just...genuine, afraid, weak and stubborn. I wanted her to grow in this story and don't worry, Uta will show his other side. There wouldn't be much of a story otherwise. As for a lemon story...I'm so not good with that. At all. I'm nearing towards a certain scene which keeps me awake at night and I hope I'll make it classy XD because I can't write fluff/love scenes for the life of me! XDXD You guys will be the judge of that.

**EdenMae:** Here I am, updating! Hope it lasts XD. Thanks for the support, my dear!

**BlackCatNeko999:** Hey there! Hope you're still thinking about this story and are willing to return to it. Thank you for your encouragement, it's really well-received.^^

**Guest2:** You and me both! Thank you.^^


	12. His bits and pieces

**Chapter 12: His bits and pieces**

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**Disclaimer: I don´t own Tokyo Ghoul.  
**

* * *

´You're not lying to me, are you? He's really alright?' Saya asked, uncertainly posted in front of an appartment door, Uta by her side watching her closely.

´He's alright.'

´Then why didn't he return to Anteiku?'

´Because sometimes you have to cut off your roots in order to survive.´

At the sound of that Saya bit her lower lip, her hand curling affectionately on the cold surface of the door.

´He was supposed to be saved, not exiled.´

´He chose that for himself. He knew what he was doing and there was no doubt in his tone, that I can assure you of.´

Saya nodded, trying to convince herself she was ok with Kaneki's decision to leave everyone behind and go someplace distant and unknown. Building up courage, she eventually pressed on the handle and entered Kaneki's one-room apartment. She remained in the doorway silent for a few seconds, grateful to have Uta accompany her in this foreign domain. A weight had been taken off her chest when Uta re-established contact with her to let her know he was alright and the rescuing mission was somewhat of a success. No one from their group got lethally injured however loss came to pass in Kaneki's decision to leave his human identity behind by burying the ties with Anteiku for a while. Uta said something about cutting roots but Saya could not relate to that, in fact, it was unimaginable to her why Kaneki Ken would opt for distance instead of union, especially in his delicate situation. Saya had wanted to see Kaneki come home and in lack of such proceeding, she had come to his place instead in order to feed her mind some closure.

Maybe the answer was in the dusted shelves of his bookcase which was generously harboring worlds on paper for everyone to see; maybe it resided in the neatly arranged sheets of his unused bed or maybe it dripped rhythmically from the kitchen tap, pooling at the bottom of the sink. Perhaps she could grasp his thoughts if she took a seat at his writing table or look out through the small window that shone light to nothing in particular. Saya looked around, accepting the silence that came with the place.

Compared to her house, this space was tiny and poorly lit yet she felt oddly at peace just by being there. The entire apartment shared stories of Kaneki; of how tidy and meticulous he was, how particular he thought about folding his clothes on top of each other inside his wardrobes and even how at home he felt eating his favorite food while reading avidly novels about characters who only inhabited pages. Unable to overcome the feeling of intrusion, Saya's hand trembled as she opened the fridge to see it still have casseroles of expired food and two bottles of unopened orange juice. The cupboards were a bit livelier; they hosted bowls and cups and chopsticks, tucked away, as if unused for a long time. Knowing his current existence, Saya felt constricted by norms. It was not easy imagining him human just as it was horrible imagining ghoul some time ago yet, traces of proof still lingered. There was a half-empty box of cereal forgotten in a corner and some of the smaller bowls were stained in soy sauce. His grill smelled like fish. His home breathed in and out humanity. All of that couldn't have been only for the sake of appearances. It just couldn't.

Eventually, Saya walked over to his bed, seating herself. Uta followed her example, continuing to stay quiet. He had allowed her to inspect the place in silence and satiate her questions. As an act of solidarity, Uta's hand fell onto hers gently, her pulse promising him there was still plenty to uncover.

´You don't need to worry about him,´ Uta said between her calm breaths, ´Kaneki Ken is not as helpless as you think.´

Saya shook her head, sighing with her whole heart. ´I don't even know anymore...We spend our lives looking at people and thinking we understand who they are. We categorize them, we put them in a box and when they free themselves from that perimeter we confined them to, the ground crumbles and we have no idea how to get back to our feet, how to reach out to them. We just realize we're really bad at reading others and nothing can prepare us for what people really are inside. Who is Kaneki, Uta? Who is he?'

Despite sensing the rethorical tinge of the question, Uta still felt bad about having nothing to answer with. There was not much he could provide her with in terms of revelations, some people were as they were. She looked up at him, searching for something and finding shadows to other thoughts, as if her words had struck a hidden chord in him.

´Was he really born human?´

What had triggered that question at such particular moment he wondered, but not long enough to delay a reply.

´Yes. Kaneki was human until recently.´

´But I don't understand...Is it even possible to change a human into a ghoul?´

´Apparently, it is viable through surgery.´

Saya weighted that fact, filtering her own feelings through those of Kaneki when said horrible transformation had taken place. It must have been frightening for Kaneki to one day wake up as someone new and at the same time, sinisterly unfamiliar. Did he suffer? Did it hurt to walk outside? Did it kill him to eat his kind? How lost he must have been. He would have surely gone insane if not for Anteiku. And maybe she wouldn't have been that forgiving either if not for the ghoul at her side who had not let go of her hand for one second.

´I can't believe such a surgery exists…´

´Does it interest you?´

´No,´ Saya automatically replied to Uta's question, realizing a second too late what a mistake it had been to hurry and easily dismiss a future where they could both be the same. She searched his face, afraid to find disappointment, sadness, surprise but there were none of the above, apart from an all-knowing smile.

´It's fine, Saya. I already intuited your answer.´

´I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…´

´To be sincere?´ Uta selfishly finished her sentence. ´I know you are capable of hurting no one, that is the main reason why I fell in love with you. Even us monsters are susceptible to hungering after kindness from time to time, like moths to a flame; since we have no need for it, we pretend it does not exist but we still recognize it when shines so bright,' Uta explained, clearly understanding the effect she had on him. ´In the end I chose to get close and have you as my reward…or my punishment, who knows?´

While pondering on the meaning of his latter words, Saya found herself voicing out a different question:

´If…if there was a reversed procedure to turn human from ghoul and live a normal life among people, would you do it for me?´

Neither of them got to hear the answer to that question as they both got distracted by the shifting noise at the entrance.

Touka stood posted in the doorway, feet planted thoroughly on the ground, as if to prevent her from entering Kaneki's apartment.

´What are you doing here?´ She addressed Uta and Saya, already sounding offensive.

´We're trying to figure that out too, actually,´ Saya answered, surprised to see Touka there.

Touka frowned, not liking the reply. ´You're trespassing.´

´So are you,´ Uta pointed out.

´It's none of your business.´

The situation could not be any stranger, Saya concluded. They were all there for the same matter but none were brave or inspired enough to say it out loud. Moreover, the one who probably longed for Kaneki the most was vehemently denying her motives. While she knew Touka was not much for words and disliked her for being an Arima, it was sadly disappointing to see her reject solidarity for reasons that did not even account for anything anymore. Consequently, Saya determined that a truthful approach would build a bridge over to her.

´We're here because of Kaneki. When people are missing, you usually go looking for them. And you start off with the places they are most connected to,´ Saya offered, hoping to somehow get Touka to cooperate. ´He's not here but…we can't really say he´s not here at all,´ she finished, referring to Kaneki's place which had his emotional prints all over the place. You could almost expect him to arrive home from his usual day at work.

´Why do you always talk as if you have all the answers? You don't know anything…´ Touka murmured bitterly, much to Saya's displeasure. She was about to try again when she saw it. That feeble tremor of her limbs as she rested against the doorframe. That was the defeated posture of someone left behind who had been spared of explanations and had been plagued with even more inquires than the ones Saya had. She recognized the lack of will to fight and sensed regret and above all, she understood that would be her in Touka's place if Uta were to one day go missing. She should have said something nice but instead, had plunged the poor girl into deeper misery.

´Touka-san,´ Saya began, rising to her feet, 'you may be the one to know Kaneki-kun's ghoul side but I know his human one.´

How cruel of her to say that, it sounded so distant and yet so precise in its damage, just something her mother would say in rare instances. However, it was not so far from her original character, after all Saya was never one to sugar-coat anything when matters got serious and Touka was certainly not one to serenely face the truth. She saw the girl's fists tighten at her sides, her teeth grinding in helplessness.

´We should go,´ Saya spoke, tugging at Uta's sleeve.

`What do you know, there is someone here! I thought I heard voices coming from upstairs.'

The three of them turned their heads surprised to look at the newcomer, Touka more shocked than any of them to see her senses dulled to the point of nothingness. Her decision to eat human food and not humans per say had altered everything about her ghoul nature and now even a 5o-year old man could sneak up on her when she was not paying attention.

'We're sorry, we mean no harm,' Saya assured, reading the air. Good intentions and all, they were indeed trespassing. `We're friends of the boy who lives here.'

The man's face lit with understanding, grasping a situation which he had imagined differently at first.

`Oh, you're friends with Kaneki-kun?

'Yes,' Uta joined in the talk, his shades already in place to avoid unnecessary drama. `The door was open and so we walked in.'

'It's open because I was preparing to move his belongings and clear out this place. You see, your friend hasn't shown up for a month now and he's behind rent, do you maybe know where he is?' The man, who they all now recognized to be the landlord of the apartment, said. He glanced at Touka upon asking his question who could say nothing to that except lower her gaze to the ground.

'We don't,' Saya replied, sparing Touka of more inquires. 'Kaneki has gone missing actually, we don't know anything about his whereabouts.'

The landlord hummed, rubbing his unshaved chin in contemplation. It did not take him long to realize he could say goodbye to his rent money and probably start searching for a new tenant as soon as possible.

'That's a real shame, Kaneki-kun seemed like a good boy. But I can't keep up his place anymore especially when you don't even know he's coming back. Anyways, I was either going to donate or throw out his things, are any of you interested in taking them?'

_Without doubt_, Saya immediately responded internally, unable to conceive Kaneki's book collection and personal belongings ending in the hands of strangers. Not to mention, Kaneki would need his things when coming back, it would be insensitive of them to not care for matters in that respect. She looked at Touka, expecting her to volunteer for the task since she seemed to be closer to Kaneki in a strange, one-sided romantic way but the girl never opened her mouth to speak.

_Take them_, Saya nudged inside her head.

_Just say you'll take them_, she intensified her glare on Touka hoping to make her react.

_Touka!_

'I'll take them,' Saya finally gave in, unable to put up with the silence any longer, yet feeling as if she had robbed someone of their rights. What was wrong with Touka? Saya taught she cared about Kaneki, at least enough to hang on to his things until he returned. Or was it that the female ghoul ceased to have such aspirations? Saya studied Touka's sad features, reading her disillusion but wanting no part in it. She had to believe Kaneki was not gone for good.

'Alright,' the landlord agreed to Saya's offering. 'Shall I pack them up for you?'

'No need, thank you. I'll send someone to pick them up later and if it's acceptable, I'll pay his rent as well,' Saya added, suddenly brightening the landlord's day.

'Oh, that's wonderful! Kaneki-kun has such great friends, I have no idea why he would disappear on you all. Pass by my apartment downstairs when you're ready to leave,' he instructed before relying on his good hip to leave them on their own again.

Indeed, Saya could not grasp the meaning of Kaneki's leave even though others, such as Uta and Touka clearly knew better. It was either they were withholding information from her or the reason was something that only ghouls could pertain to. No matter the reason, it was still unfair for people to suffer in silence. Touka had numerously proven she cared not about Saya and Saya herself had an instinctive aversion towards her however, they were both connected to Kaneki and that had to mean they were neither as antagonistic as they liked to see one another and that was precisely why Saya could not help but feel a bit sorry for her. She signaled Uta to leave and as they passed by Kaneki's small bookcase, Saya picked one out from the shelves. With that book tightly secured between her fingers, she went over to Touka and handed it to her. It did not surprise her to see the girl ignore the offering which was why Saya pushed the book into Touka's rejecting hands until they no longer hand the will to fight.

'This was his favorite. At least take this one with you.'

Touka's eyes fell onto the cover, recognizing it as Sen Takatsuki's high prized literature work and Kaneki's most loved books.

As Saya left, Uta following right behind her, she could not help but notice once again how difficult relationships between peers were. It was hard enough for her and Uta to be together and yet, there _they_ were, two people of the same species, one born and one recently turned and they could not reach out. She hurried her pace, wishing to get away from that place as soon as possible, Uta noticing her change of spirit.

'Saya? You're hurrying, no one's chasing us out.'

'I know. I just don't want to hear her cry,' she answered bitterly, already descending the stairs and fair enough, with his sharp senses, Uta could hear someone falling on their knees on the first floor and bursting into tears.

* * *

They ended returning to Uta's studio pretty late, Saya having expressed her inability to go home just yet. Her head was still in disarray, even more now that she saw someone who never left their guard down crumble at her feet. She had just returned from a mission to exterminate ghouls, Kaneki was nowhere to be found and her future with Uta looked bleak. She went straight for his room, calming down a bit in his sanctuary of masks. Unfinished projects were resting on his desk and even on his bed you could find pieces of unused materials waiting to be cut and worked on as soon as inspiration struck.

´What's going to happen to Anteiku now?´ Saya questioned out of nowhere.

´They will function as usual,´ he responded, placing his jacket on the nearest chair he could find. She was in that state again, in the grey area where she felt her loyalties tested and her thoughts consuming her with guilt. If matters were not that complicated, he would sell his studio and take her away with him tomorrow if he could. But neither of them actually wanted that. And they knew it so well.

´Will we function as well?´

´What other option do we have left?´

She avoided Uta's gaze at the sound his answer, loathing to imagine a universe where she would have to go through the same thing as Touka.

´Promise me you'll never run on me like that. Promise you'll talk to me about what's bothering you, about what you want, about anything.´

After a few seconds that counted as eternity for Saya, Uta finally voiced out his requested pledge:

´I promise.´

He came behind her and she granted him permission to overwhelm her considerably smaller frame with his own, fully drawing her in his arms. Her heart pulsed quicker, beating against her ribcage in disarming attempts to remind her that Uta's breath on her neck was preluding to something inescapable. He placed a kiss there, at the nape, keeping his lips pressed on hot skin and sealing his complete control over her. He travelled up to her ear, removing a lock of hair as he whispered:

´Turn around. Let me see you.´

Following the order, Saya repositioned her body to his wishes, feeling more helpless than ever yet afraid of nothing. Face to face with him, she once again thought about how love coexisted between them. He was so different from her, dangerous and torn away from pages she used to think of as fictive investigation reports and she was certain that in his view, she too was a mystery. Eyes of red poured into her own, having long decoded all that lingered within them. Saya used to wonder what color his human eyes were until she accepted there was nothing human about him and she actually ended preferring it that way, no need to continue lying to herself mercilessly. Uta was a ghoul, a living being who preyed on her kind and would not hurt her deliberately despite intuitively knowing how much he wanted it sometimes.

And yet despite not being human, he was still so much like one in every little aspect; his pulse also raced against her own, his hands searched for her warmth hungrily under her shirt, devouring kiss one after another while clothes were discarded one by one too. His eyes even asked permission for invading the territory of her flesh as he reached further. It almost made her laugh; for someone like him to reassure himself of her wants when the rest of his time was spent asserting control and denying others the right to survive one more day. He treaded carefully with her, he did not press to break nor did he grasp enough to bruise. He did not delay more than needed on one part of her body only, her took her fully in the cage of his chest, keeping frightening urges in check. Barely. Saya could feel it. The battle within himself to unfold this like a sacred ritual in which neither would get hurt. As if to test the boundaries, she lightly dragged her nails against his collarbone eliciting a forbidden groan from his part. Uta frowned at her, warning her of the dangerous game she was playing, it was already difficult for him as it was. He had never slept with a human before and he could see why, it was a survival mission, that of his partner of course. Her wrists could shatter easily, her neck snap at the smallest of caresses and if he was not mindful enough, Uta was certain her spine would crush if he held her just a slight tighter. On the other hand, everything about his body was murderous, Saya noted. The way his shoulders ascended as he inhaled or the way his jawbone pressed against her in moderating their kisses to safety levels. It would take so little for her to end in a pool of blood but in that moment, she could care less. Saya went in for another kiss pulling him above her on the bed.

Her fingers travelled on his bare chest, exposing all the tattoos she had never seen clearly before, echoing stories of the unknown and drawing some courage out of them as he no longer waited on her for every emotion to express itself physically. There was nowhere to run anymore and if she were to die that night she would probably deserve it. She hung on to him, welcoming the heat eagerly than usual. There was so much sweat mixing together and their rocking bodies pressed so close Saya almost wondered if the ink within Uta's body would transpire through and smear against her own. Or maybe they would somehow transfer on her skin, corroding her more than it was humanly possible.

´I want to keep you,´ Uta said softly breaking off a kiss. Saya smiled, silently congratulating him for the love confession.

´Can you?´ She challenged.

´I'll try.´

´Try harder,´ Saya teased one more time, liking the sound of his mean chuckle ringing in her ears. He embraced her again, this time indulging in the fading scent of her uncertainty.

_You should try harder_, Saya thought, _Never dare take me for granted, Uta_, she finished her internal plea, hoping that entire act of surrender could engrave those unspoken words in him forever.

* * *

She had arrived with Kishou in the morning. She had waited out in the hall patiently for the nurses to finish filling out his discharge papers and thus safely deliver him to the comfort of their car back to their house after months of recuperating in the hospital. She had been silent the entire way back home.

Daichi noted his daughter looked awfully pale. Tired as if lacking sleep and it was no wonder giving the horrible events she had experienced while he was away. When Daichi had been first told Saya was joining the CCG on that dangerous mission, hospital personnel had to restrain him from pulling out his IVs and barging out the door to search for his daughter in his indoor slippers. He had been against it and had contacted Kishou to ask him if he was still the sane person he knew him to be since there was no possibility for him to allow such a thing. Kishou said it was going to be alright, and even Marude gave his word but it was still not enough to reassure him of anything. Daichi had been afraid; not necessarily of what could happen to her physically because everyone would make sure she would return in one piece yet mentally, there was nothing anyone could do about it. He knew the implications of stepping into a battlefield and even shielded as she would be, in her innocence, Saya would still lose a part of herself, no matter how much time would pass. Unfortunately, what he had feared had come true, you can never really escape the things you are afraid of.

Seated in their living room and enjoying an afternoon just the three of them as a family to celebrate his hospital discharge, hours passed really slowly. His daughter tried to get in the mood but had remained mainly contemplative. Just what on earth had happened to change her so much? What was eating at her so much?

'Saya,' Daichi said, his hand falling on hers gently, 'is anything wrong?'

'No Father, why would you say that?' She replied, forcing a smile.

He did not even know which reason to mention first; her sad eyes? Her tiny frown? Her occasional sigh? He opted to squeeze her hand affectionately instead, mustering all the kindness he could offer.

'Whatever it is, you can always talk to me about it.'

'I know,' Saya said, truly believing his words but she figured not even her father could forgive her for falling in love with a ghoul.

'But I'm alright, just a bit tired. I didn't sleep much.'

'Yes, of course,' Daichi agreed despite sensing the lie. He resulted to one last cheering solution before deciding it was best to give her the space to figure matters on her own.

'Kishou, if I'm not wrong, there's a party right after the advancement ceremony at the CCG headquarter, isn't that so? Maybe you could take Saya with you? She needs to socialize a bit more, I'm afraid I'm not as entertaining as I used to be. Back in the day I was really something, your mother had no idea whether to be embarrassed or amused, ' he chuckled, pleased to see his daughter's eyes lit up a bit more.

'Yes there is,' Kishou validated, setting his cup of tea on the small table on the right of his armchair. 'You won't be allowed to attend the ceremony but the party should not be a problem.'

Saya waited for him to finish talking and then took a good look at him. She half-expected him to say something about her unruly behavior during these past months, not invite her to an establishment she thought she would be banished from forever. But then again, there was their father to take into consideration and they both knew his heart could not withstand worrying about her even more and so Kishou said not a word about it. As gratitude, Saya extracted herself from the CCG scenario.

'Thank you but I think it's best I take it easy for a few days. Rest a while.'

'As you see fit. If you change your mind, let me know,' Kishou said.

'Of course. Will you be attending it?'

'Yes. When investigators are promoted, it's mandatory for higher ranks to attend if not away on missions. Amon Koutaru and Suzuya Juunzou will advance in rank,` Kishou provided, the last statement delivered to his father. 'They have proven themselves worthy and have helped liberate the ward, Father. Suzuya-kun specifically, slew Jason.'

'My, my, that's admirable. You were right, Kishou, that child really does have potential.'

'He does and there is still plenty of time for him to grow,' Kishou stated, making Saya uncomfortable. She did not even want to think about a meeting between Uta and Suzuya, mainly because she had no idea which of the two would emerge victorious. Or better said, alive.

'Well, I'm going to take a long bath, relax and then go to sleep. Good night, Father.' Saya stood up and after delivering a kiss on her father's cheek and a nod to her brother, she ascended the stairs to her room, truly wishing to be alone between four walls. As the door closed behind her, she leaned on it, no longer restricted by the searching eyes of her family members who already knew something was wrong with her and blaming it on her exhaustion would not last her for tomorrow as well.

She had managed somehow up till now, with her father in the hospital and her brother constantly absent as he was assigned away on missions but now she had to face them quite often. She had to look them in the eyes and pretend she was not seeing a ghoul behind their backs. Or maybe they would not bother. After all, after the Aogiri Tree mission ended, the ward liberated and the survivors back in the cars driving home with her, she heard nothing about the outcome. There were casualties from both sides, that was to be expected but she just did not know who. Her heart sank by the minute, hoping both Uta and Kaneki were alright, their lack of contact worrying her even more. At that time, it frustrated her that no one cared to tell her anything but then again, why would they? She was just a young woman tagging along with no impact over the situation. There was no obligation to present her with a detailed report or explain to her anything. And that hurt her even more. Maybe she should go with Kishou to the after-party, maybe she could gather some bits and pieces and put some sort of conclusion together yet her instinct told her to decline.

Since the massive ghoul escape from the Kokurea detention center, raids increased in number and she had to be considerably careful about when to meet with Uta. Saya would go for days without talking to him and meeting was even more off limits due to the CCG´s constant surveillance. And that made her extremely exhausted. No matter where she went, she always had to look over her shoulder. She had to make sure to cover her tracks, never once affording to make a mistake. It was worth it in the end when she got to see him and rest besides him but for how long were they going to continue this way? Furthermore, despite living under the same roof with her brother, she had no access to information; she had no idea what the CCG´s plans were regarding their ghoul hunts and therefore no real way to warn Uta if something harmful was coming his way. It would have been better to attend the party but there were people there who could read her and she would rather not risk it.

The sudden buzzing of her phone reassured her it was the right decision. She clutched the phone in anticipation, thirsting after Uta's words. It was not him but that certain someone asked if they could meet tomorrow. Saya went to sit at her vanity table, her heartbeat subsiding and her frown dissolving little by little in the light of that possibility.

* * *

**A/N:** Hello everyone! I can´t believe people are still here, I'm so happy to see so many familiar faces. Thank you for everyone who commented and added my story, you're all great and it's always a lot of fun talking to you. *_*

Here's a love scene for all of you who were expecting it and, unfortunately, this is the best I can do, I just don't have the ability to write a steamy, awesome love scene. Sorry? T.T Still friends?

**For my lovely reviewers:**

**EdenMae:** Hello again and thank you for coming back to comment on the chapter! It makes me giddy knowing you like this couple, it's difficult making these two interact and sometimes it's not always interesting to connect them but I'm glad you appreciate them. They do make an interesting couple and I can see why you would want them to be ghouls together, it would make things a lot easier XD. Hope to see you again.

**Megohime of Mutsu:** OMG, a familiar name, welcome back! I almost gave up on it too but I recently started watching The Walking Dead and THAT made me remember I still had something to finish. It's good to see people are still reading this, so I will make sure to update properly from now on. I missed you too so please stay with me some more.^^

**Dancingtuna:** Hi there! Not giving up on this yet, I have plans for it and thankfully, Tokyo Ghoul:re walks right into my plot, it was as if this fanfiction was meant to be this way and hopefully everyone will see that at the end as well. If they do, then I will have completed my mission :D. And Suzuya just has to be the one to spite Saya, he does not even have to mean it, just play with her, like he plays with everyone. I'm so happy this character exists XD. Thank you for your words, and see you next time!

**OfSilverandDice:** I'm sorry for not updating in a long time but I'm back now! I'm glad you're digging the antagonism, there has to be someone to awaken Saya from her princess-like dream and who better do it than Suzuya? As for Uta, I do feel like he's a funny character sometimes, very laid-back and easy –going, he would 'jokingly' say serious things and actually mean them. Please drop by again! As always, I'll make sure to reply.^^

**wlfchen:** Oh, so many people who have not forgotten about Saya and Uta, thank you very much! And don't go back into your corner, come out, tell me what you think again! I have cookies, remember? XD I feel that as long as you're human, you're slightly alright around Suzuya, if you're sporting red eyes though….beware! Till next comment! :)

**BlackCatNeko999:** Welcome back! I had to skip the scolding but I did manage to squeeze in some alone-time between the two (Uta and Saya), it's as if they can never be alone without interruption :)) And you're absolutely right, Saya will get the chance to see Suzuya in another light but not just yet. It's easier for fans to love Suzuya because we know more about him than Saya does, at the moment he's just a creepy boy who can kill ghouls proficiently. Thank you for your time, Neko!

**Cyleana:** So glad to see you back here, thank you!^^ I've updated a lot faster this time, hope this chapter was to your liking. It was a risky operation to take Saya with them but I also thought it would be interesting to include her in a scene that would happen in the anime/manga and would not interfere with the plot visibly. It makes it a bit more plausible, I suppose. As for Suzuya, there are so many things he knows in general but we can't know for sure what those things are. He has that sixth sense, I guess. We can see it perfectly in that scene where he first met Kaneki and stole his wallet and then it hints at it throughout the manga. It's a pity not to include this character in a fanfiction, there are so many ways in which you can endanger characters and cause drama if you know how to use him right. Yes, I´m using you, Suzuya-kun, gomen! Hope to see you here once more and since you're reading this before going to sleep, good night!

**Arrix:** I agree, too bad the author likes to keep so much mystery around Uta. But you know, I guess that´s what makes him unexpected. Hope your crave for Uta is taken care of by this fanfiction. Thank you for your praise!

**M:** Thank you very much, your support is highly appreciated!^^

**Hikiri:** As always, thank you for reading and posting insightful comments that make me reconsider what I've wrote from so many interesting perspectives. I believe I have a better understanding of Suzuya than I have of Uta and maybe that's because I have more information on the former than the later and it makes it easier to contour him in the story. I also see Suzuya for what he is and I'm not afraid to put him out there with his quirkiness and slyness included. I also think there isn't much you can hide from him since he's like an animal with sharp senses that can smell fear so I'm glad to know you like my version of him. Thank you for pointing out Saya's small but important character development, bit by bit she is waking up to more realistic perspectives. In the real world, just like everyone else, she has qualities that can make her like enjoyable but in the ghoul world, being Arima's sister is all she has and that's why she's clinging so desperately to it, hoping that such vain title will bring some authority forth if CCG ever got a hold of Uta. That crown will fall apart, your intuition is correct. XD

Calling my OC plausible is the best compliment one can give me. Trust me, I've had my own share of anime and manga where the main character is a Mary Sue; it's more convenient to write your character as someone awesome and loved by everyone, this way the creator wants to ensure that even fans of the story/plot will love the main character but sometimes, it can mean quite the opposite. Despite having created Saya, even I sometimes think: ´Can't you be more useful?´ But then I remember she's human and she has her own personality and traits and she'll never wake up overnight to be this great person who can solve everything, it just doesn't work that way in my opinion. I'm more preoccupied of people appreciating the plot more than my main character and maybe that is the reason why people like her. Enjoy this somewhat romantic chapter :))

**DaK0Ta:** Here's another chapter, hope you're still around to let me know what you think. I'm glad people are still searching the Tokyo Ghoul fanfic section, good anime/manga can never die! Thank you and take care!^^


	13. Between right and wrong

**Chapter 13: Between right and wrong**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul.**

* * *

She was there; seated on the wooden bench of the secluded alley from her university park, patiently waiting under the oak tree. Just like he instructed.

Saya kept looking to her left at the park entrance waiting for a certain person to appear. They were not late, she had simply arrived too early, unable to contain her eagerness at home, hearing the clock filter time painfully slow. She could not believe her eyes when she saw the message, feelings of relief and confusion overwhelming her altogether.

A small gust of wind blew from the opposite direction, carrying with it rustling of leaves and dust and it was then that she experienced a warning sensation prickling at her skin. She turned her head abandoning her watch over the more lighted part of the park, understanding that he was coming from within the shadows. For a moment there, she thought she was seeing a ghost, one unearthly apparition that had lost its way in the world but perhaps, that was precisely what Kaneki Ken had morphed into. Saya watched him approach, gradually rising to her feet, her hand still hovering in mid-air, as if prepared to support herself if she were to lose balance. She had not expected this, yet, by the time Kaneki stood mere inches apart from her, Saya had took in his white hair, paler complexion and shadowed eyes. It was Kaneki and yet it was not.

Before she left for the meeting place, Saya's mind was full with questions and comforting statements but at the sight before her, she found herself more speechless than she had ever been in her life. Everything was blank, useless even. He must have noticed her uneasiness because he politely took her out of her misery by starting the conversation.

'Thank you for coming, Saya-san. I know it was not easy.'

'Of course,' she forced herself to reply, the words suddenly pouring without control,"you went missing and...we searched for you and...no one told me anything but I saved your things, you should come pick them up. You...' she paused, wondering if any of her genuine worry could transpire through her senseless utterances, 'Did you tell Touka you were coming?'

He smiled in bitter tones, the female ghoul's name bringing out no other reaction from him.

'No,' he said, 'you're the only one who knows. I wanted to see you, Saya-san, to talk to you, but first, let's sit down,' Kaneki gestured to the bench as he lowered himself on the wooden planks, Saya following his example. Unannounced, her fingers reached out to touch his hair, a wave of sadness surprisingly summoning the calm she needed to live through this encounter. That was not hair dye. It was the plague of shock and terror. She had seen it before in her brother's case and had wished to never see it again. What could have possibly happened to affect Kaneki to that extent? Whatever it was, must have been horrible, his own nails had turned black, she noticed out of the corner of her eye. It was as if with each time they met, he became even more inhuman.

'Are you...alright?' Saya heard herself voicing out.

'I am now,' he replied and she believed it not for one second. 'I need your help, Saya-san.'

She looked up to him, not understanding his question. Out of all people, why would he need her help and how could she provide that sort of aid? She shifted on the bench, peering at him with concern.

'With what?'

He did not blink as he delivered the already prepared words:

'With providing me with a list. You know very well that the latest ghoul attack was what caused all prisoners of Cochlea to escape and the CCG are in possession of every name and identity for each of those criminals. It would be a lot easier for me to hunt them down if I were to have that list.'

She frowned, not liking the sound of it, almost not understanding the implications, which was why Kaneki felt entitled to add:

'There are other ways to acquire it but I thought I could count on you with this one.'

It was unbelievable and truly beyond reason. She had no idea what exactly was that list he was talking about or where the CCG kept it if they really had it but above all, she failed to see why he was bringing it up with her. They finally met after all this time and his vocabulary still included words connected to danger. Hunt the ghouls down? Did she hear that correctly?

'I don't understand...why do you need that list?'

'Saya-san,' he began, already foreseeing a sermon he had no strength to debate. 'All those menacing ghouls are roaming the streets, attacking humans and destroying the little balance we have left, they need to be stopped.'

'I agree but...the CCG are doing everything in their power to capture them back and...'

'It was the CCG that was not capable enough in the first place,' he reminded her.

'Maybe,' she stubbornly insisted, 'but my brother is of another caliber, you can rest assured that he will...'

'Arima-san has no time for small fry. I do,' Kaneki stated, not afraid in showing his conviction by intensifying his tone.

'What are you talking about? You should stop doing such reckless things, Ken-san. You should just go back to Anteiku and leave all this nonsense behind!' Saya burst out, not eager to get herself interrupted again. In her agitation, she felt her breathing escalate, her mind compressing at dark scenarios in which even more people would get hurt.

'Saya-san,' Kaneki gently whispered, his hand on her wrist in an attempt to establish a truce between their opinions. 'look at me. Truly look at me and tell me, as I am now, if I still belong with Anteiku. If I can still go back to that life?'

She did as she was told and brought her eyes to meet his, her heart cringing at what she saw. There were still traces of the old Kaneki in him but there was also so much more of what she did not know. It was precisely that veil of black that revoked her right to continue with her premise.

'I don't know where you belong but...you should not be doing this.'

He closed his eyes for a few moments, relating to her words. There were nights when he would tell himself the same thing, that he needn't have to go through all this. He did not have to be the one to get himself involved over his head with this. But he had no choice, it was either he went hunting for them or he would be the one to get hunted. And he couldn't have that. Not again. And so, he went ahead with another approach:

'Saya-san...how long do you think your relationship with Uta will stay hidden?'

The young woman jolted at the question, briefly disliking him for bringing Uta into the conversation. He was not playing fair but his point was valid. She glanced at him unsure of what to say, not appreciating her coercion into thinking about such a thing. Half a year, a month, a day maybe? It could be revealed anytime and Kaneki knew she was walking on a landmine.

'It can't stay concealed forever, can it?' he asked, replying to his own question. 'What do you think will happen when your brother finds out or any of the CCG elite members, for that matter? It doesn't take much to figure out things won't end nicely.'

Saya continued to remain silent, mainly because she could find nothing to retort. Everything Kaneki said was the truth. Hearing it out loud only made it more painful to bear.

'Wouldn't you like to live in a world where both humans and ghouls could co-exist, Saya-san?'

It felt similar to a slap across her face. Out of all the things she heard in her life, that was the most absurdly blissful statement she had ever heard. No matter how much she wished for that, it still did not sound real to her. However, Kaneki persisted in proving her wrong.

'A world where you and Uta could walk hand in hand without having to look over your shoulder all the time. A place where we could all learn to share and survive. I think all of us would like that,' he said, visualizing the entire context in his head the whole time. 'I can do it, Saya-san. If we rid the world of these particular dangerous ghouls, I am sure I can find a way to reach out to both parties. I was born a human and reborn as a ghoul which makes me the only one to know the suffering of each race. Can't you see, Saya-san? I'm the only one who understands.'

That could be so but what could Kaneki do different than others who have tried before him? All the sacrifices, all that blood and war...Could that even be applicable? It could work if a human and a ghoul would be in love, such as she and Uta but apart from that...as simple friends...as neighbor...as strangers at a bus stop...

'It's not going to be easy,' she told him, crushing all tendencies of sounding hopeful.

'I know,' he told her, 'that's why I need all the help I can get.'

'You're overestimating me, Kaneki-san. I don't think I can get you that list, I have no idea where it is. No one tells me anything, I can assure you. Moreover, even if I were to know who has it, I lack the courage to do it.'

'No,' Kaneki voiced out gently, 'it's not courage that you are lacking, it's morality. You can't betray your family.'

'But I already have, haven't I?' Saya whispered, a sense of clarity remastering her will. All this time she was spending with Uta, she was lying and betraying the people who trusted her to know better. She owed it to herself to do something. 'I can't promise you anything but I'll try.'

'Thank you,' Kaneki replied sincerely. 'You are doing the right thing.'

'Don't misunderstand, I'm not as noble as you think. I am doing it for myself not for the world, it's all about being able to stay at Uta's side,' she admitted to herself. 'Also, you have to promise me something, Ken-san'.

'What is it, Saya-san?' He questioned the young woman, slightly alerted by the gravity of her tone.

'Whatever you do, you must steer clear of my brother,' Saya warned, her eyes staring into his own with utmost severity, 'don't cross his path or he will kill you, ex-human or not. Never doubt yourself of that.'

* * *

'It's quiet for now but they're going to rile up pretty soon. All of them, the CCG, Aogiri...it makes me sad we can't partake,' Souta complained dramatically as he flopped besides Uta, his clown mask still covering his face. The air was indeed fresher up there on the rooftop; he was slightly bored by Itori's red interior pub, the crammed place limiting his space.

'No one's stopping you. Go ahead and join them,' Uta told him as he leaned back, his hands supporting his weight.

'Tempting but I want to keep my head, thank you. This is not our fight and I see no other reason for interfering more than we already did. After all, we get to watch such a great show!'

'No doubt about that,' Uta agreed, his mind elsewhere, fact which did not go unnoticed by his companion.

'Are you thinking about that girl?'

'Occasionally,' Uta replied matter-of-factly, wondering if Souta was going anywhere with that.

'Are you going to eat her?'

'No,' Uta replied, glaring at his gang member, slightly offended for viewed as brainless. Heartless maybe but to go as far as eat someone he had gone out of his way to protect would waste all his previous charity. He made a mental note to avoid any meeting between Saya and Souta giving as the latter had a tendency of dining on his girlfriends.

'Whoa, you're scary!' Souta snickered, pleased to experience the fruits of his provocation. 'You should show her that look too, she might have second thoughts.'

'She saw enough.'

'I'll say,' Souta agreed, 'she's not easily scared if she accepts you with that constant kakugan of yours.'

'It's not as if I can suppress it anymore. And neither can you.'

Souta sighed, removing his mask - a privilege bestowed on far too few- and turned his head to study Uta's profile,his kakugan crimson in the night lights of the city.

'It's our punishment. We simply ate too many of our own.'

They both stayed silent for a while, looking down at the rows of cars below as each raced towards their destination. From that height everything seemed so little and fragile, humans crawling like tiny ants on the pavement, not realizing they could be squashed by some divine force watching from above at any given time. Uta thought back on those not so distant days when he had nurtured his hunger to grow in need and his cruelty to feed on gallons of blood as he bathed in flesh, ghoul and human. He had killed so many humans and digested countless of ghouls that he had reached his limit and had gone into shock; he had fallen to the ground, entering insanity as he realized his body was shutting down, preparing him for death. He was going to die for his insatiable hunger. And then, after hours agonizing on the floor, bleeding most of his life source, Uta fell asleep for days on the wooden floor and woke up to find himself alive. With a price. He could not conceal his kakugan and fighting with his kagune brought out an uncontrollable side to him he would use only in desperate situations. As a consequence, he put a leash on his recklessness, adopted a safer fighting style and used his passion for tattoos as an excuse for his active kakugan, calling it the result of injecting ink into his eyes.

'Speaking of eating,' Souta broke the silence, 'if Kaneki Ken wasn't such an important chess piece, I would have enjoyed taking a bite out of him.'

'After all you've been through, you'd still risk eating a ghoul?'

'Well, he is half-human...maybe I'll survive?' Souta suggested, shrugging his shoulders in the spirit of anything being possible. 'But I'm just teasing, he can't die yet, not now so far into the game. He has his little ghoul-hunting squad and his powers are evolving, eating our own as well. Do you think he'll turn into us?'

'I highly doubt it, he's not entirely ghoul. He'll self-destruct before going through the transition,' Uta provided his insight, remembering how talkative Souta got when there was only the two of them.

'You have a point. However, there might be one able to survive that.'

Uta frowned, guessing the identity of that person. Beside him, Souta got up to his feet to get a better look at the scenery below, his voice trailing off...'That half-breed...'

'You're talking about the One-Eyed-Owl, I'm supposing.'

'Yes. Or about the One-Eyed-King,' Souta enticed, a grin spreading across his face. 'Nico-san whispered something interesting to me about that King.'

Uta helped himself up as well, joining Souta closer to the edge. 'I know.'

Souta's eyes widened, sincerely surprised at the reply. 'Nothing goes past you, does it?'

'Has it ever?'

'No,' the clown said. He permitted his surprise to wear off as he thought ahead of all the things that were about to happen. 'That being said, I can't wait to have the last laugh.'

'Neither can I.'

* * *

She was appalled at herself. She thought she was going to change her mind on her way to the CCG headquarters yet there she was, stepping in the hallway, reeking of betrayal. Saya took in a deep breath, gulped down her guilt and advanced towards the elevators. People greeted her on the way but she was so anxious about the whole operation she could not be bothered to respond. The entire night she tossed in her bed, trying to convince herself that what she was doing had a good purpose and when she finally found her resolution, she discovered she still lacked the strength of mind to go through with it. She felt her hands shaking as she pushed the button at the elevator waiting for it to arrive. That list could be anywhere, stored in some guarded computer but then again, high-ranking investigators had access to that specific data base and what other better investigator to take advantage of than her own brother? Kishou was away on a mission and his office would theoretically be empty however, she had no idea if his laptop was still there nor how to log into that data base.

The doors to the elevator finally opened, people exiting in order to make room for her inside. Saya's heart jolted at the sight of Suzuya and Shinohara, the shock paralyzing her fear and instantly stopping her trembling.

'Arima-san!' Shinohara exclaimed, 'So nice to see you, came for a visit?'

'For gun practice, actually. Amon-san is already waiting for me upstairs to go pick up my practice guns,' she lied innocently, walking past the both of them in the elevator. She avoided Suzuya's eyes at all costs, not wanting to risk being exposed. Somehow, that brat could read her like an open book. She bowed to them as the door closed and the elevator started ascending.

'I see,' Shinohara replied, not giving it a second thought. 'Suzuya-kun?' The older man inquired, confused to see his partner staring at the illuminating floor numbers from above. The elevator stopped at one point and Suzuya pushed the button to request for it, the metallic compartment faithfully descending towards them.

'Is there something wrong?' Shinohara persisted.

'She got off at the fifth floor. The weapon supplies rooms are at the eighth floor,' Suzuya explained, unmasking the inconsistencies in Saya's words. ' Also,' he paused, ' She concluded her gun practice weeks ago.'

Shinohara forwned, his gaze already warning Suzuya against his meddling.

Suzuya only grinned.'Don't be like that, Shinohara-san, it was you who told me to pay more attention to details, wasn't it?'

At the fifth floor, Saya got off, the familiar hallway calling her directly towards her brother's office. She posted herself in front of the door, wondering how on earth she was going to get in since she had no unlocking card with her. If only they didn't keep their offices locked, she wished, her hand trying the door out of instinct. To her surprise, the door opened wide. She blinked in disbelief, not trusting that kind of luck. Still, there was no time to lose and with one more glance around her, she entered her brother's office, closing the door as she stepped in.

Fortunately, her brother's laptop was there on his desk, an ominous air surrounding it. Dismissing it as her own fear playing tricks on her, she went over to it and turned it on. As expected, it was password-protected. She tried all possible combinations of letters and numbers but nothing seemed to work. It was no use, she had no idea how to break in thus Kaneki would have to say goodbye to his list. Saya was about to try again when the door to the office opened wide, Amon Koutaru stopping in his advancement as he noticed the unexpected intruder. They stared at each other for a few painfully long seconds, both of them surprised by each other's presence. Amon finally reacted, stepping outside and closing the door in the process, allowing himself a few seconds to think. What was she doing there? He had been sent by Arima to retrieve some papers from his office and had realized midway that he forgot to lock the door which was why he hurried back as fast as he could but he had not been prepared for that. There was no reason for Arima Saya to be in her brother's office meddling with his computer, not especially when her brother was out of town. Something was wrong there, he was convinced of it. He would have to question the girl thoroughly, there were confidential files all over that office, not to mention his superior's laptop.

'Aaaa, Amon-san, thanks for letting Arima-san in!'

A light voice filled the air, preventing Amon from barging right in again. 'Suzuya-kun? What are you doing here?'

'Hmm? I came with Saya-san to teach her about some new ghoul types. Arima-san has some interesting research on his laptop so he suggested I'd give his dear sister a lesson. She's already inside, right?' He questioned, pushing open the door to witness Saya frozen in the same spot on the chair. ' I was worried I couldn't find the key card.'

'It was with me,' Amon replied insecurely. Arima-san did instruct him to leave the key with Suzuya after he had finished but something still did not seem to fit.

'Arima told you to tutor her?'

'Don't be like that, Amon-san, you're breaking my heart. I may not look it but I can be a good teacher, I'll make sure she remembers everything properly,' he reassured in a tone that made Amon's skin crawl. 'You're welcome to assist if you want to.'

'No, it's fine,' he said, handing the card key to Suzuya. 'Have a good day, Arima-san.'

'Thank you,' she managed to reply, bowing her head.

For the moment he would retreat but his sense told him something was off. Amon would need to report this to her brother when he returned.

As she watched him leave, Saya's shoulders refused to loosen their tension, after all, the other investigator was still there. Suzuya approached the desk in calm steps, his hands securely behind him, a weary grin hanging from his lips.

'May I?' He asked for permission while his body already leaned in, fingers dancing on the keyboard to unlock the computer. Saya's eyes widened in surprise, finding it hard to believe someone could crack something that easily.

'How...' she began, not even knowing how to phrase the question.

'You Arima siblings aren't as indecipherable as you think,' Suzuya told her, already heading towards the exit.

'Why are you helping me? Aren't you curious why I'm here or why I need to look into my brother's computer?'

He stopped midway, throwing his head back to look at her.

'You're harmless, Arima-san. Plus, why spoil the fun? It's more entertaining this way, especially since you're so desperate to find what you're searching for.'

'Will you tell him? Kishou?'

'I don't need to, the cameras in the hallway will,' he explained pointing at one that was visible from the spot she was sitting in. She had forgotten about those. Actually, Suzuya was the least of her worries. If he did not tell Kishou, Amon would do so in a heartbeat but by then she would have delivered the list and would have found a plausible excuse. Or so she hoped.

'I have to do this,' she said, as if trying to convince herself. Suzuya said nothing about that.

'Don't forget to return the card key when you're done Arima-saaaan,' he chanted and waved at her on his way out.

There was no need nor time to question his motives, all she had to do now was to transfer the information to her memory device and leave as fast as she could. As the list transferred on, she kept her eyes glued on the door, expecting someone to barge in again and this time arrest her. No one came though and she finished her mission without further interference. She finally stood up, turned off Kishou's laptop and eagerly headed towards the exit until she realized how quiet the room was. Just as Kishou would remain if he were to find out what she did. He would simply look at her and stay quiet because that would hurt her the most. At the last second, in that empty office, she whispered words she could never address to Kishou from now on:

'I'm so sorry.'

* * *

**A/N:** Finally updated, I'm not dead! Just overworked and tired all the time XD. But I am back and this time, I won't make any more promises, instead, I'll focus more on updating. The story is finally getting closer to what I have in mind at the moment so I'll work on it as I go along. I have stopped reading Tokyo Ghoul:re because it distracts me from the first plot line of Tokyo Ghoul and my story won't follow part two of the manga, it will be connected to it but I don't think I'll go as far as to introduce Saya in it. She will have a place in it but I won't dwell on it too much. It's going to be like an epilogue of sorts. We'll see!

Anyways, remember in the manga that Kaneki got that list with ghouls from CCG? They never really reveal how he acquired it though there are hints but since it was left unattended, I thought it would be cool to have Saya do it, make her a bit more involved. And yes, it would have been easier to hire a hacker or get in their database from home but she had no one to turn to (Uta was a no-no, asking a ghoul to do that would have been too much XD) and she actually figured she had better chances if she were to go there directly. At one point she thought she could even ask for the list it if push came to shove...oh Saya...what are you thinking? As for Kaneki, I know that many of you will say Kaneki would not ask Saya for that list because it might cause her trouble but I don't know...something did snap in Kaneki and sometimes...he's really cunning .That was apparent to me in the manga.

I did read that Uta claimed to have done scleral tattooing but frankly...I don't buy it. I already had a theory about it and since he never uses his kagune in fighting, I thought it would work this way and finally revealed it in this chapter. Please don't shoot me, it's not a very crucial addition to the plot so don't need to prepare your bullets!

I hope that everyone is alright, I would really like to see all of you still here because I miss reading about what you guys think. Please take care, good luck at school, at work and stay positive (I have troubles with that XD)! Bye!

**My lovely reviewers:**

** .73:** Hello! And thank you so much for your kind words, I appreciate you took the time to review! Not many people like my heavy dialogue,they think it's a bit difficult to read and sometimes obstructs the flow of the story but I'm glad you like it. Thank you again and please top by once more! :)

**C0smic:** Nice to meet you and welcome to my fanfiction! I'm really happy to read your thoughts, thank you so much! This story does follow the manga and that includes EVERYTHING about that characters too so stay tuned XD. Also, many thanks for liking Saya, it's the most difficult thing to write an OC that is not over the top but still interesting to read about. When I first imagined Saya, I knew I wanted her to be Arima's sister for dramatic purposes and it wasn't rocket science to figure out that she will resemble him a bit in grace and morals (some of them at least). Arima gave me the impression of coming from a well-established family and I though the money factor would fit in well with both him and Saya. And she had to be feminine, I thought the contrast between her and Uta would be challenging this way. I suppose many writers overthink their characters and they turn out the way you described them because they worry their character won't be liked. Let's face it, Saya does come out as boring sometimes and even annoying but you can't erase that part of a character completely, it's her background, her identity and what makes her human. As for lemon...dear...I would be sooooo bad at that. XD. Trust me. Hope to see you around here again!^^

**OfSilverandDice:** Hey there! I debated with myself whether to include this scene now or delay it a bit more but I finally decided it needed to happen now. Things are going to get complicated after this and it won't be any other right time to include it, though, this was depressing a bit XD. She needed to be comforted and she felt alone so Uta stepped in. Plus, I don't really see Uta waiting even more than that, he is not afraid to touch people and does not seem to be bothered by invading personal space...it had to happen. As for foreshadowing...hmm, that whole conversation had a purpose, it's like a puzzle piece that will be put back together when I will reach the end of this fanfiction. I'm actually dropping hints one at a time. But it is a bit confusing for now. You know very well who's text- messaging her XD. Until next time!

**Cyleana:** Aww, lots of hugs for you! Thank you and very very very late Happy Easter! XD This feels like such a long time ago. I actually liked how the scene in Kaneki's apartment turned out too, I really wanted to tribute his existence as a human and with Kaneki, we all feel he did not deserve what happened to him. I thought Touka would find ways to keep herself going but suffering really does push you to visit the places you've been with together with a person that is no longer in your life. And telling me that my scene made you feel more sorry for her than the actual manga...wow,great compliment, thank you. Really. In writing you do have time to pay more attention to their feelings and you can actually describe them. It seems many people appreciated the simplicity of the love scene which is great because I was really worried I would be crucified for ruining this for the fans. This just shows how mature and graceful my reading audience is and for that, I am most grateful. :) Take care!

**iZUMi0715:** Thank you! My day is also complete when I read sweet things such as these. Come by again!

**SoaringOnWings:** It was about time, wasn't it? XD Mission complete!

**wlfchen:** Hello, welcome back! *helps you crawl out* Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and I am so very sorry to hear about your cat. I have been away from fanfiction for too long and my comforting comes late, I know, but I hope that by now, you are coping better with your loss. I know how it is to lose a pet, my heart is with you. Anything you need let me know. I hope this chapter comes out at a better time. Saya is starting to choose sides as you can see, she's not exactly a spy secretary but something similar. I think you described her very well by saying that 'she is not able to hide her guilt'- that is very true and she is starting to be a bit stronger, at least about what she wants. Please look forward to the next and stay well! (Happy Easter too, yes we celebrate it here as well!) ^^

**crayonx3:** Hey hey! Whenever I see you reviewing, I always get reminded of how much I love Suzuya! He just likes tormenting Saya because she responds to it, she is afraid of him and she knows that she can't be safe around him. I believe Suzuya knows a lot more than he lets us see and that is obvious both in the anime and manga. While he does act childish sometimes, his cruelty speaks of a maturity that leaves you speechless. He will have a more important role in the near future but I will get to that. ^^

Saya does not want to be a ghoul, even if she finds out the surgery is possible she will not do it because she can't be anything else except human and like you already said, if she were a ghoul, Uta wouldn't have given her a second look. It does sound superficial but this is how the world works, sometimes circumstances are everything! I am not very up to date with Tokyo Ghoul:re, I stopped because it distracts me from my own story and I don't want to start changing things. For now, it's following the original manga. Take care and hope to see you reviewing again!

**M:** Thank you very much, M! You're a dear for saying that, I am flattered! *blush* Sorry for the wait, my job is really demanding but I'm slowly finding a way to get back to writing by not sleeping! XD And Saya getting pregnant? That would be a disaster! I don't even want to think about the complications but it's possible! XD

**BlackCatNeko999:** Thank you, I'm fortunate to have such understanding readers who appreciate some mystery! XD. Love scenes seem so silly to read about, but in this case I was lucky to write more about their thoughts than their action because, to me, connecting with someone on that level also affects your mind. You give that other person the liberty to step into your territory and that represents a deep psychological decision (and not all the time, sometimes you just have to do it!) XD. Have a lovely day!

**Zoorzh:** Hello! It's a great feeling for a writer to hear that a reader actually gave his/her story a chance and then got engrossed in it enough to change their initial opinion. Thank you! I couldn't help but read the manga, to me, manga is always superior. Not to say I don't like watching anime, no, not at all, but manga has that silence, that blank space that can only be filled in by the reader and this is exactly what helped me understand the characters better. Saya has time to grow and she will, I promise you (not enough to save the day since I want to keep it as if she was secretly part of the manga but her side of the story was never presented), only that I have to do it wisely. She comes from a good family, she had been sheltered by her father all her life and she was never in a situation where she needed to sacrifice or lie so much. That is why she can't be badass, she wasn't born like that and getting to such a stage requires experiencing some life-changing circumstances but you are already aware of that, I read between your lines, yes I did! Suzuya is also one of my favorites so I will include him some more, not to mention he will play a bigger role as the story progresses. Thank you for your review once again, please continue reading if you have the time! :)

**SchokoDelphin:** Many thanks! I'm aiming for realistic characters so I guess I'm on the right path!^^ Don't worry about not reviewing as often, we all have lives, I understand that! And since Netflix is in the house, I have some serious competition! XD Tell me more about cosplay, I love looking at pictures, everyone is so talentedand and works so hard to make their own costume! Who did you cosplay as up till now? Take care too! :D

**ishiputatakemore+plswriteutakefic+utakeutakeutake:** Hello there! I'm guessing you're the same person so I added all 3 IDs together. From your words I can see you're a Suzuya fan, so am I!^^ I'm sorry if Saya's actions towards Suzuya upset you, sometimes when people are put in situations where they have no control or they are afraid, they act like that and trust me, as much as she denies it, Saya is a bit afraid of Suzuya so this is why she acts like this. Suzuya was not exactly nice to her either so it was to be expected. If I were in Saya's situation and Suzuya would have told me that, I would have started crying. Really XD. Anyways, I never hinted that Saya is bright or intelligent but the only reason she joined the mission was because she was afraid Uta would get caught and she thought he would have a better chance at surviving if she intervened to spare his life, at least momentarily,until the rest would figure out how to save him.

As for the sentence 'because they are fragile and they break'...I don't see that as sexist...Let me explain. I am 26, I am in a managing position (as my job) and I am quite independent and yet, my father still thinks I'm his sweet 10 year old girl and even now he continues to tell me to be careful not to cut myself when I eat or to watch my step when I walk. That is not because he is sexist or because he thinks I can't handle myself or that I'm weak but because he loves me and wants me to need him in my life. It's his way of showing he cares about me. This is what Arima expressed. To him, Saya is still fragile, she is his precious sister and the only way to explain that to Suzuya (who does not make a difference between genders and would hit/injure a woman as hard as he would a man) was to appeal to their fragility. Sorry you got so disappointed in the characters and the story :( but thank you for stopping by and reviewing! :D Take care!

**Hikiri:** It's nice to talk to you again, I feel our opinions on the ghoul matter are quite similar and we kind of do see the story flowing in the same direction. I believe you won't be surprised by how the story will resume but you'll just have to read and see for yourself XD. As for Saya being pristine...hmm, I have second doubts about that too, I wavered about this part of her and since I could not decide, I wrote it in a way she could be either. It makes sense for her to be untouched but at the same time, I did mention she dated before in one of the chapters I believe so I'll just let that to everyone's imagination, everything works. I agree about what you said, Saya really trying to grasp what humanity means to her. I'm guessing anyone would try to find out where their place is in this entire contextis and since she is supposed to be neutral, her affiliation with Uta and Kishou are pointing at the opposite. It's the worst possible situation to be into and I pity her sometimes. I started watching Defiance lately and while the plot has nothing to do with Tokyo Ghoul, they show the challenges of living with other races, it discusses the survival of the fittest and where to cross a line at killing people. I got reminded of Tokyo Ghoul immediately and it made me think about the morality of this aspect more. I really enjoy exchanging opinions with you so I hope you are still here, reading. Stay well!

**Sarah:** Hi there, thanks for your words, Uta is an awesome character! You never know what his intentions are :)). Thank you for supporting my fanfiction!^^

**SkyPumpkin:** Thank you! I'll try to get more chapters ready and update faster but it is challenging. I won't be able to do it weekly but I'm setting a ghoul to update every two weeks so stick around ;)

**pearl246:** Hi again! I can't believe someone drew fanart for this, this made my day! Please do show me your work, I really appreciate for taking the time to do that! It's good to know my writing is easy to read and flows, I'm doing my best to insert my plot in the original manga to make it more interesting. Once again, thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Al'-chan24:** I'm so happy, thank you! Reading requires time nowadays so it's quite an honor to see people dedicate a few minutes to reading my words. Here's another chapter!

**534667lc:** Thank you for following me! Please tell me what you think about this chapter! :)

**animefairy299:** Yes, I will. I won't let it go that easily, promise!

**Biscuit1997:** Thank you for liking this story enough to stay in your head even after such a long time. I really started smiling when I read your message, thank you! Hope this chapter will count as some repayment.

**ewaa:** Hi there, thanks for reviewing! Hmm, I don't think Uta would follow her because he is not the type to hide or be afraid of anyone. He has tattoos all over his body, his kakugan is always active (he said he injected ink in his eyes but I don't believe that) so he attracts a lot of attention. Someone who does that is not afraid of being discovered, at least that is my opinion. I am sure the CCG already know about him and his whereabouts but they leave him alone because he's apparently neutral so him worrying about Saya and going as far as to follow her is not in his character. But that's the beauty of fanfiction, everyone imagines characters differently! And 'fallen for her' is a bit too strong, maybe a bit infatuated, fascinated even. I don't actually believe Uta could love a human as much as a human could love him. Saya is the closest he ever got to that feeling...but again, that's how I see him. Thank you for stopping by and take care! :)


	14. Fragile secrets

**Chapter 14: Fragile secrets**

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tokyo Ghoul.

* * *

Saya had not heard news from Kaneki in a long while. After providing him with the list, he thanked her and told her to stay safe after which he disappeared back into the shadows where he seemed to belong as of late. She heard snippets of conversation between her father and brother and had stocked up on information from various newspapers as they avidly described incredible events such as the exposure and termination of the ghoul restaurant in the 7th ward or the mysterious killings of ghouls who had previously escaped from Cochlea. While the entire Japan wondered who was responsible of such a feat, Saya was certain she knew their identity. His, to be more precise.

She was worried about him; after all, he was risking his life every day and yet, all she could selfishly think about was how lucky she was that Uta chose to stay away from this conflict. His involvement would have complicated matters considerably, not to mention the strain it would put on her heart. It was already excruciating enough dining at the same table as her family, trying her best to act normal. Ever since that day she sneaked into Kishou's office, she could not bring herself to look him in the eye. Even breathing the same air was suffocating. _If only Kishou knew what she had done...he would_...She stopped in mid-sentence, her brain suddenly empty. In all truth, Saya couldn't come up with a continuation to that sentence. She did not know what her brother would do...how exactly would he react? Would he lock her inside the house? Would he send her away to Germany? Would he...hurt her? The possibilities were numerous and as much as she thought she knew her brother, she could not see a clear answer.

Or maybe… he would stay silent, waiting for the right time to strike. She looked at him from across the table as he enjoyed his non-alcoholic drink and shuddered instinctively. In that moment, Kishou put his empty glass down, his eyes suddenly catching hers. She flinched and looked the other way.

'Are you going out today?' He asked her steadily.

'Yes,' Saya replied, still avoiding his gaze. 'My friends and I are meeting up for a cup of coffee.'

'That's good. You need some fresh air, lately you've been spending too much time in your room.'

That, she was. After her last talk with Kaneki, Saya decided it was the right moment to put a stop to her ignorance and borrowed as much reading material as she could from the library and her father's study, all ghoul-related. When she was not out meeting with Uta or attending university classes, Saya locked herself in her room and studied about different ghoul types that existed; she perfected the knowledge she had over specialized terms such as 'kagune', 'RC cells' and 'kakugan', not having touched her drawing pad in weeks. Up till now she had been absolutely clueless, believing that all ghouls were the same; after absorbing so much, a new universe opened to her and indeed, she learned there were offensive and defensive ghoul types that each manifested according to their biology. They were no longer grotesque monsters who fed on human flesh, Saya could now categorize them, ascertain their level of power and comprehend how they functioned. In between her readings, Saya finally realized she did not know what kind of ghoul Uta was and promised herself to ask him the next time they met.

She also read about quinques, about extraction methods and resistance degrees; Saya was undeniably her grandfather's descendant, her curiosity and absorption skills reaching alarming stages. Bit by bit, the possibility of Kaneki's operation being plausible emerged in her head as well, slightly understanding how to go around it, her head hurting just by imagining the process. Everything was incredible.

´I've been working on my sketches,' Saya lied.

Really, everything she said to her family was a lie, lately.

Kishou nodded, not dwelling much on the truth of that fact and stood up.

´I'll see you tonight,' he offered instead of a goodbye. As soon as he left, Saya also abandoned the dining table and headed upstairs to change in preparation for her so-called friends reunion. She needed to hurry, Uta was waiting.

* * *

He actually wanted to arrive at Anteiku earlier but now it was impossible to enter, not with two doves casually drinking coffee inside. Uta saw them push the handle to the café's door just in time he came round the corner. He kept a short watch on them from outside until he affirmed their peaceful intentions and crossed the street to the other side, prepared to spot Saya from his vantage point the moment she arrived. One of them was tall and well-built while his partner was white-haired and considerably younger. The taller one's face was familiar however the latter one brought no particular name to Uta's mind and that rose some suspicions.

A few minutes later, Saya arrived and upon seeing him signal over to her, she marched in his direction, her face pale.

´What's wrong? ´ She inquired, already feeling there was a problem.

´We can't go in just yet, ´ Uta revealed, pointing at a certain window from Anteiku. Saya followed the trajectory of his finger, her eyes resting on the two last people she wanted snooping around the café. Her hand instinctively latched onto Uta's sleeve, drawing closer to him.

´Those are special investigators Shinohara and Suzuya. Why are they here? ´

Shinohara's name rang recognition in Uta's ears as he remembered hearing that name plenty on the news and seeing his face in his early confrontations with inspectors. Catering to Saya's question, Uta complied.

´It's no surprise they finally traced some facts back to his place.´

It wasn't. In fact, they should have done so a long time ago, Anteiku had been sheltered longer than anyone would expect however it was blood-chilling to see investigators walking straight into a ghoul's nest without having a clue of who exactly was under their noses. Everything seemed calm inside from that distance, even pleasant; just two customers enjoying their coffee and having a casual conversation with the staff.

´It's alright. It's going to be alright. They're not trouble, I promise, ´ Saya vouched, more for Shinohara than that white-haired brat whose unpredictability reached heroic peaks. If everyone played their cards right, they would stay safe by the time the investigators would leave. But that was not certain. What was certain was that now the CCG had established a link between this place and ghouls and that could only mean they were getting closer to uncovering Kaneki's identity and lastly, her own affiliation with him and Uta. She waited alongside Uta, prepared for anything that could trigger a tragedy and found herself arduously praying internally for everything to go well or else she would have to stop Uta from charging into Anteiku to defend his friends, or worse, deal with casualties she did not want to think about. To their relief, the inspectors left sooner than later, Saya exhaling a breath she had kept in for a while. Just a few steps away from the café as Uta wanted to lead them towards it when Saya grabbed his arm again and stopped it in his tracks. She replied to his inquiring look with a worrisome one.

´Not just yet, let them get further away. They might be human but they are not to be underestimated.´ _Especially not Suzuya_, Saya added silently, having experienced the young inspector's sharp sense more than once. She was sure he could _smell_ them somehow.

Until the moment Saya could see no trace left of the two investigators did she loosen her grip on Uta's arm and began walking next to him towards Anteiku. She expected spirits to be high after the unexpected visit of the CCG but everything seemed to be normal, no tension befalling the room whatsoever, as if they were cleaning up after regular customers and not their nemesis. Touka was behind the counter drying off cups alongside the Manager while two other members of the staff tended the tables. They were greeted as soon as they entered.

'What did they want?' Saya dove right into the matter, taking a seat at the counter, Uta following her example. He had a feeling this was no longer going to be a date but an interrogation. How much like her family she was and she did not even realize it, Uta thought, somewhat amused. Touka however, did not seem to share the same positive outlook as she glared at Saya, blatantly blaming her for anything negative that happened to them. Fortunately, the manager encouraged an opposite behavior.

'It seems you have spotted the two gentlemen that left a while ago.'

'Uta did, I was about to charge in. There's no safe heaven left, is there?'

'There has never been one, Arima-san. We've just created the illusion of one but all things come to an end and it seems Anteiku is breathing its last.'

She ignored the melancholic expression on his face, pressing the issue further.

'It's worrisome that they came here. I know them very well, they work closely with my brother and they're excellent in...their field of work.'

'Oh, I'm sure of that. They're also quite polite which is why you need to maintain your calm, Arima-san. They only came here to inquire about Kaneki.'

Saya's eyes widened, panic beginning to strangle her every fiber.

'And what did you say?' she questioned, aiming the inquiry at everyone behind the counter. She hoped the moment investigators came in demanding information on her college friend would be delayed for a bit longer but in the end, it was exactly as the manager said, this place was probably dispersing into shadows, much like Kaneki himself.

'What else was there to say, Arima-san? We simple spoke the truth. Kaneki was a part-time employee, a college student at the finest institution in the city who helped around at the store and never caused any trouble. Lately, he seemed to be burdened by something and eventually stopped coming in to work. Nothing less, nothing more.'

Saya nodded agreeing with the information, trying to discern if there was something that sounded off in Yoshimura's testimony. Nothing. In fact, it was perfectly reasonable. And yet, why did it still bother her?

'Are they suspecting something?'

'What do you think Arima-san?'

She looked up at Yoshimura, guessing the answer beneath the condescending tone of the older man.

'Of course they are,' she whispered under her own breath, 'or else they would not have come here. They know this place is connected to ghouls and it won't be long until they understand in what ways.' And then, she will also be exposed and her relationship with Uta threatened. Saya's fingers curled on the bar top, instinctively gazing at Uta as he calmly sipped on his freshly brewed coffee and conversed with the ghoul called Nishiki. As always, there was no trace of worry on his face. At times, it seemed nothing could pull him out of his casual disposition, not even alarming moments such as the one they were currently experiencing. She felt frustrated dealing with that fact. Unlike him, she constantly worried about their relationship. She feared the consequences almost as much as she enjoyed their moments together. She treasured each moment and prayed it would last, at least until she would come up with a solution to safely justify their bond. But Uta...she shivered internally for the second time that day as she realized she did not know much about him despite their relation. What was going through his head was a complete mystery and even the information he chose to reveal to her sometimes seemed fabricated. She felt he loved her but how could you truly love someone without experiencing the fear of possibly losing them? Was he truly not worried?

'Arima-san. It's going to be alright,' Yoshimura reassured her, having seen the expression of deep anxiety she probably had creeping on her face. In addition, he placed a small plate of strawberry shortcake in front of her. From personal experience, Yoshimura remembered sweets would always make humans feel better.

She thanked him for the cake with an uneasy smile, not entirely convinced. After a moment of silence, she asked:

'And Kaneki? Is he still in touch with you?'

'He meets up regularly with Hinami-chan however, he does not seem intent on returning to Anteiku,' the store manager supplied, both him and Saya looking at Touka from the corner of their eyes.

On the surface, she did not appear to mind the topic yet the roughness with which she rubbed dry the glasses seemed to indicate the level of her insecurity. Whether Touka liked it or not, she and Saya shared the same fear when it came to their significant other though, while one lost, the other was yet to lose. As a result, Saya reasoned it was best to abandon the Kaneki subject for now instead of refreshing some wounds in Touka's heart. Unlike Saya, Uta did not forget he was supposed to be on a date and taking the tiny fork from her plate, he pressed it in the cake and picked out a piece with a strawberry on it. Saya watched how the fork came flying gently towards her mouth and in lack of better choice, she opened her mouth to munch on the bite.

'You were frowning,' he explained. 'No one should frown with such a pretty slice of cake in front of them.'

Saya sighed as she chewed on the crumbly texture, instantly feeling better. The majority of ghouls usually hated the sight of food but being an artist, Uta took the time to appreciate the craft of preparing food. She wished she could do the same and feed him cake but that was an impossible idea. Fortunately, that was compensated through his will to put an end to the gloomy atmosphere and instead, try to take advantage of their time spent together. She gave him a smile and gestured for him to continue feeding her the cake, which he complied to diligently.

When they finally prepared to leave, Saya rediscovered her initial sadness. That could be the last visit to Anteiku for all she knew. As matters were progressing, that place could be closed down any day now and she would lose the only public place she could go to and relax with Uta without having to worry about his identity being discovered. There would be no more thoughtful conversations with the manager nor any cheerful laughs from the staff, not even the more or less subtle bickering with Touka. In a way, that all ended with Kaneki's departure from the cafe store and it was in that moment that reality sunk in completely. Saya sent her goodbyes to everyone and as she bowed respectfully to the Manager for the last time, she realized how much a lowered head suited her right now. In the past months, she had spent more of her days with ghouls than with humans. But it was alright. No one hurt her but then again, she was sure no one could, especially with Uta at her side. With that conviction in mind, she exited Anteiku with Uta only to come face to face with someone she had never seen before. A well-built, white-haired man whose eyes peered into her own with piercing intensity.

'Yomo,' Uta greeted, and something in his tone made her understand Yomo was a ghoul as well. She did not like the way he was looking at her and neither did Uta probably since he grabbed her arm and took her to the nearest cab parked outside the store.

'I will call you later,' he told her, placing a quick kiss on her lips and gesturing to the cab driver to start the car. Slightly confused, Saya forgot to ask anything else and watched as Uta remained behind to talk to Yomo, not being able to discern anything else as the car drove away from them at full speed.

'Did you really think I would hurt her in plain sight?' Yomo asked when the car was no longer in the vicinity.

'I didn't want to give you any ideas.'

Yomo frowned at Uta, slightly disappointed to see his friend doubt him to that extent.

'You can stop worrying, I won't touch her.'

'You have every right to. After what Arima did to your sister, it's only divine justice, don't you think?' Uta questioned, opening up old wounds. Yomo's eyes remained downcast instead.

'Maybe. But just like my sister, that girl has no blame. She is no threat to me and I am no threat to her,' he assured, remembering that fateful day when Arima mercilessly killed his sister thus cutting off any other blood ties Yomo might have had with anyone else in the world. 'In fact,' he stressed, 'you're the real danger here. How do you think this is going to end? Do you think that girl is going to be passive for much longer?'

Uta smiled, simply shrugging his shoulders.

'Like you've said, she's no threat,' the pierced young man delivered as he walked past his friend, gently patting his shoulder. Yomo followed him with his gaze, turning to retort.

'Uta...if you love that girl, even if just a little, then let her go.'

Uta did not pause in his steps. His reply never came but his turned back gave Yomo all the answers he needed. He peered inside the cafe to see everyone gathered around the bar and took a few minutes to think before entering and greeting. He actually fantasized numerous of times getting back at Arma by killing his sister and when word spread that his friend was involved with her, he summoned herculean restraint to resist the temptation. His sister would not want that, she raised him better than that and he learned matters could be settled in a different manner. And now that he saw her, he understood he could not do it. She did not look like her brother but she reminded him of Arima. They were clearly siblings and one of them would kill the entire ghoul population with his bare hands if he ever found out the other was corrupted. Better said, _when_ he would find out. But before that day came, they had other pressing matters. And until then, he hoped Arima-san would fall so much more in love with Uta that she would forgive him anything.

For all their sakes.

* * *

It was not out of the ordinary that investigator Mado Akira would remain in the office long after the meeting would end. She browsed through the plans of Kanou's impressive number of estates, trying to figure out where did the cunning doctor acquire the means for purchasing such expensive property. It so happened that this time, investigator Amon kept her company, himself engrossed in various thoughts. Finding Kanou was not the only priority, but also locating Kaneki Ken whose existence had been rendered crucial due to his friend's help, Nagachika. The theory, as absurd as it sounded, was that of a surgically altered human with ghoul organs, a reality that could either be shattered or sustained by the urgent apprehending of Kaneki Ken.

Amon sighed, grasping the cross pinned at his tie, thinking about the right way to approach this theory. If this turned out to be true, how would they even judge such an existence? Was Kaneki Ken going to be judged as a ghoul even though he was born and lived as a human for years? Could they actually blame someone for something they did not ask for and would have to withstand the consequences for the rest of their lives? That was difficult to digest. It would turn the world upside down and it would cause people to do crazy things, wouldn't it? As crazy as breaking into a relative's office and searching for top secret information, Amon thought to himself as he remembered the recent incident with Arima Saya. He was aware that both she and Kaneki Ken were attending the same university but to go as far as to say they were friends and Saya was looking for a way to help him was quite far-fetched. There could be millions of other reasons for Saya-san to be in her brother's office and yet, Amon could not get her eyes out of his head. They were guilty. And frightened.

'Well, for now this is the only lead we have,' Mado said as she threw the files on the desk, tired of examining them so closely. When she got not reply, she re-addressed Amon. 'Kanou might be hiding there after all, isn't that so, investigator Amon?'

'Yes,' Amon replied absent-minded. Upon seeing his reaction, Mado opted to stare at him curiously, leaning forward on the table and resting her chin on her hand. As expected, it did not take long for Amon to land back on earth.

'Mado-san,' Amon began, suddenly remembering she was there, 'if someone sees something they're not supposed to, should they tell?'

Mado blinked at the question, half-surprised to see her partner open up to her to that extent. Her first answer would have been that of offering a sharp, logical statement but she found herself sugar-coating her retort. It was not a good moment to dismiss Amon's trust.

'That depends,' she finally said.

'On what?' Amon asked, genuinely interested.

'On whether keeping silent causes more trouble than speaking up.'

He never thought about it from that point of view. As expected of Mado's daughter, she was one to extract the core of the matter and divide it precisely whereas he was still wavering about it. 'I see,' he retorted simply at which Mado exhaled in frustration.

'If it makes you so conflicted, you should most certainly tell.'

'Ah...I did not say it concerns me,' Amon hurried to add.

'Really now, who are you trying to fool?' Mado Akira challenged, her hands already reaching out to tidy the files on the table. She hated seeing things out of place despite being the one who caused the mess in the first place.

He smiled slightly, giving up on the pretense. 'But if I were to follow what you said Mado-san, I would betray a person,' Amon revealed, Saya's face popping up into his head with even more frightened eyes.

'And yet we betray people every day of our lives,' the young woman said and stood up. She placed the files in one of the drawers that were kept under fingerprint activated lock and added: 'We betray them when we tell them we're alright and we're really not, when we tell them the things they want to hear and even when we force ourselves to show them we care when we simply just care about our own well-being. I have no idea what this is all about, Amon-san but let me put this in simple terms. I believe it's far more tolerable to betray others than betray yourself.'

That was absolutely reasonable. That was the definition of an investigator right there. Personal matters would never have to intervene in making the right decision and nothing was more important than the greater good.

'I judge you as someone practical, Amon-san. So what will it be?' Mado questioned the older man, waiting for him in the doorway.

He also stood up, a new conviction gleaming from within his beeing. This was no context for misplaced kindness.

'It seems I need to speak with Arima Kishou-san.'

* * *

**A/N:** Aaaaaaand done! Whew, I thought I was never going to finish and publish this chapter but I've been scolding myself for not doing the things I like. And I like writing very much, it's probably the only thing that keeps me happy and healthy. Anyways, things are heating up, investigators are getting closer and Saya is gonna be in big danger, like you are all already guessing and probably wishing! Hehehe, I secretly wish for her to be punished too XD. Yes...is there anyone left here? Still? If I am getting reviews even after such a long time, I will most certainly reward all of your with a properly updated chapter that does not take forever to appear.

So please, if anyone is still there, let me know! I appreciate the love/criticism! ^_^ Take care and stay healthy everyone! On to the lovely reviewers!

**lizy2000:** Hello there, thank you for dropping a line! Here's a late review! And yes, her brother is capable of doing that, I see Saya in a lock down as well. Come back again ;)

**EdenMae:** Hello again, I'm glad to see you in my list as always! We're drawing closer and closer to drama but that makes me excited too! Uta and Saya have a really complicated relationship and as you can see in this chapter, Saya is losing sleep over it and also over Kaneki. It's shocking to see a colleague turn into this new, strange person that opens a door to possibilities. I do try to give Uta and Saya more time together but I also need to push forward the action so I'm sorry there are not as many as one would hope for. Hope to see you again, dear! 3

**M:** Greetings M! I did not get jumped by ghouls, I'm actually hoping they're reading this fanfiction over a hot cup of coffee as well and taking sides :)) Thank you for liking my chapter, I'm glad you picked up on Uta's clown affiliation, I plan on staying true to his character, Uta is no fun otherwise. You never know what his true intentions are and I am all for that in my fanfiction or else he does not feel like Uta. Thanks once more and may you stop by next time too!

**Al'-chan24:** It makes me happy to know people are still reading, it doesn't matter if it's manga, a novel or even fanfiction, it's just good that reading is still pretty much alive so you have a big thumbs up from me for finding the time to read even my humble fanfiction and also review. Thank you for saying Saya fits into the story, writing a relatable character is a spur of luck sometimes but fortunately, we have other characters to play with such as Uta and Kaneki and they are the ones that make this story. Let me know how you've been!^^

**1234dorothy:** Thank you, thank you! Here's another chapter and please tell me what you think. *wink

**wlfchen:** Hey there! I hope you still remember you account data, it would be a pity to lose such a faithful reviewer like you T.T Anyways, how are the kitties now? I bet they're all grown up and somehow making you remember Schnucki fondly. ^^ Saya is not a great spy, she's not made for this. To be in this line of work you need cold blood and a questionable conscience or else you can't make your lies believable so even if she does come up with a story...not many will believe her XD. I love making Suzuya toy with Saya, she's like playdough in his hands and I like seeing them interact because their backgrounds really show how different they are in relation with each other. But suspicion time is over, if you know what I mean XD. Take care and drop by this time as well!

**SkyPumpkin:** Hello! I feel the love, thank you for the review. Have some from my part as well! 33

**Cyleana:** Hello dear friend! Don't worry, I won't drop this, I can't leave things unfinished, this fic is at the back of my head all the time XD. And hopefully, you're still here and surviving your exams like a true hero! Not like Saya, her balls are for nothing, like you said, she has the certainty that her punishment can't be that big since she is Arima's sister but still, it was not an easy task, especially with Amon and Suzuya's addition to the scene. When I think about Uta and how everything is so secret about him...I just have this crazy idea that he's frickin' strong and we're all gonna be really shocked when we find out in the manga. He's way too laid back to be just a regular ghoul, I can feel it. And so do you, that's why you like him so much, my dear! Please stop by again and take care ;)

**Hello:** Aww, thank you! I hope you still check this from time to time, I won't drop it so you can find an update. I'm glad we're on the same page with the kakugan theory, that is too obvious not to spark debate and ghouls who have it activated like that are certainly 'special', Yoshimura included. But from all of them, I still think Uta takes the cake! Let me know your thoughts about this chapter again. Stay safe and healthy!^^

**VictoriaPie:** Banzai! It's finally getting dramatic, huh? XD I think everyone loves Suzuya, he's a character that takes risks without carring too much and is just unpredictable, just like Uta which is why it's perfectly normal for Saya to change after interacting with them. Thanks for noticing that part with Uta and pointing out his reasoning, I went for that intentionally. Thank you for the review and your warm thoughts, hope I'll be able to feed your Tokyo Ghoul addiction for a bit longer. *wink-wink

**Guest:** Hello there! Thank you for passing by and leaving your input, much appreciated. Well, sometimes you have to coordinate a story and think of everything from all points of view. Your opinion on Itori is spot-on, she is exactly that kind of person. Maybe Itori would be yelled at and Kaneki beaten as you say but Yoshimura was there and he is one of the most level-headed persons in the anime. It wouldn't have been in his best interests to agitate spirits when Arima's sister was there and also, it's Uta who brought Saya in the equation, not Kaneki and I don't think anyone dares to pick on Uta XD. As for Suzuya, oh yes, he certainly can smell ghouls but he's too much of a weirdo to act accordingly so I see him as someone who likes to watch as people take the fall, if you get what I'm saying. He's not the only one who knows Saya has been hanging out with ghouls, for now, he's waiting for someone else's reaction. So stay tuned! ;)

**Hikiri:** I am so happy to see you still around and I hope I'll continue to be lucky in this regard XD. I remember reading your review almost two months ago and thinking that this was such a great review. I read it again today and indeed, it is one of the best reviews out there and I don't even know if my story is up for such an in-depth analysis from your part. Thank you for really understanding the characters and transferring your knowledge you have of them from the anime/manga into this story. I thoroughly enjoyed writing that part with Uta and Souta; like you said, I see them having that connection and challenging each other, one directly, the other more passive-aggressively. As for the eye theory, it makes sense to me even now and I believe the moment when the truth about Uta will be revealed, it will be legendary so in a way, I'm trying to match up to that greatness XD.

Many thanks for understanding the character that Saya is. Quite some characters and reviewers misunderstand her or would want her to react differently but since she is a product of the Arimas, it proves a bit difficult to leave behind the shackles and charge into happiness like a fool. She is selfih, I'm glad you saw that and understood the reasons for it. She is not as noble as one would think because she can't say she's doing what she's doing for humanity but rather for her own benefit so in a way, betraying her family would be the last drop. It is a tragedy and even though I know perfectly well how this is going to end, I'm going to allow Saya to be swept away. Thank you and may we talk again, old friend.

**Anarima:** Hello and welcome to this story! Thank you so much for your kind words and for your patience, I promise to update and not leave this story unfinished or it's going to haunt me for the rest of my life! XD It doesn't matter if you read this later, everyone is welcome and I care about my reviewers equally. The best part about this story is that I get to discuss it with great readers and debate our favorite characters like there's no tomorrow^^. You have my love as well and I'll be waiting for another share. Take care! ;)

**sherlaylay: **Thank God! I'm grateful to know you're still loving it and even trying to keep the spark by re-reading the other chapters. I hope you're still around sher, I miss reading you smack my characters across the face when they do something wrong XD. Lots of love! 33

**Guest 2 (?):** Yes, excitement is in the air! When I started writing again, I remembered how enthusiastic I was about the chapters that are to follow XD. You're right, Uta and Saya's relationship has to be exposed, it can't stay hidden anymore and it's not going to be pretty but it has to happen sooner or later. I get giddy just when thinking about it! But this will have its good parts as well, the action will move forward, intentions will be proven clear and people will discover what really matters to them. See you next time? ;)


	15. Black Sheep

**Chapter 15: Black Sheep**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul**

* * *

**Warning:** From here on there might be spoilers from the manga, read at your own risk.

* * *

Quite some time had passed before Yoshitoki Washuu had the chance to meet his father again, none other than the chairman of the CCG and renowned Ghoul Investigator since the creation of the revered enforcement branch. It seemed he only managed to see him when crisis seeped through their fortresses but that did not bother him as much as the heavy pressure crushing his skull whenever he was in a room with him. In fact, the bigger the room, the stronger his father's presence was and he was certain Marude felt the same, cursing at him for making him join him to see the chairman. But Marude and him were friends and he had promised Yoshitoki he would be there to support him, no matter the case.

They had been invited in a large office where Tsuneyohi Washuu was waiting for them at an imposing desk, much like a minister in a church waiting to pass judgement on the unfaithful. High ceiling, cold floor tiles and stern walls were crushing disobedience out of the two grown men as they approached, stopping at a reasonable distance away from the desk. The Chairman acknowledged their presence by fixing his sharp gaze on them and both men bowed politely.

'According to the Special Class Investigators' Report, we have found the Owl's hiding place,' Yoshitoki went straight to the point, highly aware of how much his Father disliked others dwelling on empty talk. 'We request your approval for an 'Owl Counter-Measure Team' as well as to seek permission for the 'Owl Execution plan'.

'The objective being?' Tsuneyoshi demanded.

'20th ward-Cafe Anteiku,' Yoshitoki replied, both men frozen in their submissive positions. They reclaimed their posture when they heard the Chairman rising and stepping away from his chair, Tsuneyoshi finally managing to get the first good look at his father in months. His hair still as white and long as he remembered, while his face was stoned in a contemplative, serious expression.

'Very well,' Yoshitoki agreed, 'you may proceed with the operation.'

'Yes, sir,' Marude respectfully accepted in Yoshitoki's place. 'We have plenty of units deployed in the ward and we are prepared to apprehend him this time.'

'So be it. Keep in mind to remain focused, this attack will be sure to awaken the interest of other interfering ghouls. '

'Understood,' came the short reply. His father was of course referring to Centipede, the other life-threatening ghoul that appeared not long ago in the 20th ward. It was his playground after all, it was probably not unexpected for him to get involved and while that would mean hitting two birds with one stone, Yoshitoki was not that sure they were guaranteed success. He dreaded the casualties that were to come and the loss that accompanied it, especially when he understood he could be one of those casualties himself.

It was going to be a monumental mission and fortunately, CCG had its own share of strong allies:

_Marude. Shinohara. Arima. Kuroiwa. Amon. Even the new one, Suzuya_. They were all putting their lives on the line and sometimes Yoshitoki wished they did not so he would not have to ponder on their life spans.

If his father were to hear the thoughts crossing his mind he would be most certainly disappointed. Truth be told, he was disappointed in himself as well; after all these years, he was still afraid, denying the gruesome reality they were living, at least until he approached the battlefield and gave the order to attack. After that, a calm would instill in his entire body and his mind would be governed only by reason, like a true Washuu. Would this time be the same? Even with all those formidable adversaries?

It had to. As his father's son, he inherited the shoulders to withstand that burden.

* * *

'I've never been here before!' Saya shouted over the music as she swiftly made her way through the dancing crowd with Uta, her hand holding his, following his lead all the way to the bar.

'We needed a change of scenery,' he replied when they finally reached the bar. He ordered coffee for himself and a cocktail for Saya.

'Maybe I shouldn't drink,' she voiced out her concern. Saya knew very well that her resistance to alcohol was close to none, which was why she avoided drinking when she went out. Uta however, dismissed her worry with a grin and pushed the pink-colored glass in her direction.

'It's fine, you need to relax. Plus, I'm here. I'll take care of you.'

As reassuring as he wanted to sound, Saya could still pick up the indecent note in his tone, the glass already at her lips, trying to hide her embarrassment. He was right, though. She needed the distraction. Lately she was tense and paranoid and incredibly depressed at everything. Not even Uta's presence could calm her completely since she felt everything could explode at any moment and she would end up losing him. Who knew how her family would react? After debating it with herself, she finally concluded that they would immediately send her to Germany to her grandfather until matters would be taken care of and by that, it meant Uta would be hunted down. And even if somehow he would manage to survive, what certainty could she have regarding their reunion? What if he would never search her out again? As much as she wanted to trust in the opposite, the more she looked at him, the more further away from her he seemed. And she could not understand why.

A few girls passed by, all of them eyeing Uta.

'Did you see that guy?'

'How could I not? He's like a beast! Where was he when I was single?'

'I don't think that matters really, you're clearly out of his league,' one of the girls said, the entire group bursting into laughter.

'You little!'

Saya smiled inadvertently, no longer able to hear the rest of the conversation as it got inhibited by thumps of electronic music. Thanks to those comments, Saya realized that indeed, Uta was a lady-killer in that irresistible bad-boy kind of way. She wasn't sure about whether she was in his league or not but she knew he did not fit the profile of boys she had dated in the past. Suit and tie, clean-cut, extremely polite were her preferences mainly due to her upbringing and the genre of men she had been surrounded by from a very early age. She would have never imagined herself dating someone like Uta even though the first time she saw him, she became interested at once. Along the way, the contrast between them became a matter of fact since they were two completely different species to begin with and she already associated him with a forbidden fruit she stubbornly allowed herself to have. The difference between them was already there only that it did not particularly limit itself to appearance, music and clothing choices. It went beyond those matters and that was the reason why everything else paled in comparison to their identities. But she could understand an outsider's point of view. Looking at them, one would say they were opposites and in a way she liked that. She had tried mimicking his style, at least for that night. She had nothing in her wardrobe that would accommodate her in a club but luckily, he picked out her attire and clad her in black ripped jeans, leather jacket with protrudent epaulettes and a tight, lace corset. He had personally adorned her with chains and earrings, taking great pleasure in tainting her lips red as to contrast with her loose blonde hair. For that night, she allowed him the liberty and the outcome pleased her more than she could have thought. They were a set now, somehow connected to the same world though she knew better than anyone that no matter how much she clothed like him, she would never be like him, just as he could never be like her.

They were in a club so his eyes did not stand out too much, however everything about him was simply breath-taking. The line of his collarbone, the broad and strong shoulders, the way he carried himself. Those murderous lips that sheltered that gentle voice of his. The way he looked at her, constantly contemplating to consume her but never crossing any of the limits. Saya was so much in love with him, it hurt deeply.

She took another sip of the cocktail and then gulped it all down, feeling the alcohol starting to kick in. The music was loud and yet she swore she could hear him breathing, his touch on her leg hot and controlling. If only she could have him forever. That sounded immature though. Especially when he just seemed to live in the moment, without focusing on the future. _Their_ future. He never talked about it with her, never had a proper conversation. Was he just accepting the fact that it could end one day? She looked down at his hand, her eyes trailing upwards to his arm, neck and face. She had touched every inch of that body, memorized his tattoos and welcomed his dominance and realized that was all she knew about that man. Only the exterior. And still, she was in love, so it had to be more than that.

When did she start having these thoughts? Was it when the CCG started getting closer and he showed no signs of alarm? Maybe when she saw how superficially practical he viewed Kaneki's circumstances? Or maybe when he left Anteiku with her and never looked back...

Uta suddenly drew closer to her, probably sensing her intensifying heartbeat and she acknowledged the severe influence he had on her. Out of nowhere, Saya heard herself asking:

'What kind of kagune do you have?'

´What?' He asked almost instantly, traces of a frown conjuring on his forehead.

Time was short for her to be horrified at the courage she had for asking such a question nor repeat it to his face since two men interrupted them shamelessly.

'´Hey Uta! Haven't seen you around this place lately. How have you been?'´

He tore his gaze away from her and focused on his interlocutor. Saya wondered if Uta's reply was for her to repeat or clarify her question even though, deep down she understood she challenged him unintentionally.

'The usual,' Uta said shortly.

'I see, I see. Still with the mask studio?' The other asked.

'It keeps me busy, yes.'

'That's good. You run a pretty beneficial business, Uta. Best mask I ever had came from you.'

'Glad to hear that.'

'Your girl for tonight?' The older of the two inquired, finally noticing he was with someone. She did not seem familiar and upon closer inspection, the girl was human.

'My girlfriend,' Uta declared, pointing at Saya politely.

'Eh? Girlfriend? This human?' The two exchanged looks, visibly confused by the information. She smelled like a human no doubt, even though it was hard to tell in a club mingling with other humans.

'So I take it your friends are ghouls?' Saya joined in on the conversation, not liking the dumbfounded expression they were leveling her with.

'Yes, they're alright, don't worry,' Uta told her and helped her come down from the tall stool. 'We'll go dance a bit, see you another time,' Uta cut the conversation short, while the two men were left on their own with nothing better to do than follow the unusual couple with their gazes. Eventually, one of them addressed the burning subject.

'I guess it's not that impossible for ghouls to be in a relationship with humans…'

'Yeah, but that's Uta, man, Have you ever seen him with a human before?'

'Hmm...' the ghoul scratched his beard, trying to rack his brains for an answer, 'well, he did have the occasional human woman he took home for the night and then ate but haven't we all? I mean, it's the usual take-out scenario but no, never seen him with a human more than one day.'

'Nor one that lived. Must be because she's pretty,' one shrugged.

'But I guess he's gonna eat her too in the end, right?'

'What kind of questions is that? He's a ghoul, ain't he?'

Music roared in their ears as they danced along with the crowd. In that conglomerate of bodies, you could not know for sure who was human and who was not, which was why there were so many ghouls out, blending in with the defenseless. Saya tried to enjoy the evening but it was not easy, fact that did not go unnoticed by Uta.

'What's wrong?' Uta asked her as he pulled her closer.

'Your friends from earlier. They're still looking at us.'

In response, Uta turned his head to glare at them, both men averting their gazes immediately. 'Try to ignore them.'

Ignore them? How many other things was she going to ignore? She pulled his arm towards a different part of the club, near the bar, where music was not that loud and they did not have to scream in order to get the message across.

'Is it that strange we are together?'

Uta blinked at her, not understanding where all of this was coming from.

'It's not common,' he said simply.

'Then have you ever been with human women before?'

'Yes,' he admitted. _Men too_, he added internally. 'It did not work out.'

'Why not?' Saya asked pointlessly. She was smart enough to know the answer.

Uta sighed, displeased at Saya for making him come up with the least offending replies. How could he make it verbally acceptable to admit he ate them? And not only that, but he enjoyed it. Both the sex and the after meal. He did not have to come up with excuses, that was who he was and he did not find it morally impeding to deny his right to live just because he had to kill humans for it. He failed to understand that part of human nature; ghouls were independent, they did not care about each other's well-being but humans...they were born in solidarity. Everything had to be justified and at times, even that was not enough. She was not one of those humans, she was not going to be eaten, why couldn't that be sufficient for her, Uta had yet to comprehend.

'Fine, don't answer that,' she said, taking his silence as a refusal to reply. 'Instead, tell me why it's working with me.'

'You're full of questions tonight,' Uta remarked, hinting at the first dangerous question that launched her attack that evening. 'Maybe it's because I did not like them as much as I like you.'

Her heart clenched at that reply. It must have been hard for a ghoul to admit to that, especially to someone like her who at the end of the day was still Arima's sister. That was all she wanted to understand and it somehow made her feel better to hear she was higher in comparison to others than receive the unrealistic hypothesis that she was the only one. It was strange, how the more you loved someone, the more worried and doubtful you became about them.

'I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me tonight...'

'Maybe we should have stayed home after all,' he said, wrapping his arms around her in a forgiving embrace.

'Well, look who's here!' A feminine voice broke in. Saya peeked at whoever was the intruder from within Uta's arms, slightly discontent.

'Itori. It's nice to see you,' Saya forced herself to smile. Ever since her last conversation with Itori, she felt she could not trust that woman. The female ghoul gave the impression she only acted in her best benefit, no matter who she hurt in the process and while that was a terrible thought, Saya sensed she was not that far away from the truth.

'Likewise. I see you're still tagging along with Uta,' she said, laughing along with the human man she had her arms draped over. He was drunk, confused but eager to please her and probably had no idea that Itori was not the safest choice for him that night.

'He hasn't complained yet,' Saya replied, letting the redhead know she had accepted her challenge.

Itori's grin wavered a bit, not ready to surrender just yet. 'Uta prefers to act first. Trust me, you won't see it coming,' Itori whispered in Saya's ear, clearly winning that round. The last part appeared to sprout concern in Saya's face, almost surprising Itori. She was under the impression Saya believed nothing bad could happen to her but even the most ignorant had their doubts. Itori glanced at Uta who had stayed silent throughout the verbal exchange however, his eyes spoke plenty. He was demanding for how long was she going to indispose them and she suddenly started missing the instances when they both went out hunting for humans and teased them until they broke down. But those times were over. Long before Saya came along, Itori accepted maturely.

'Here, this is on me,' Itori offered a newly-brought cup of coffee to Saya thus ending the dispute.

'Thanks,' she said distracted, causing Itori to finally notice whom she was looking at. Saya was in fact analyzing the man at Itori's side, trying to discern his fate. Even in these conditions, she still had morality issues. She sighed and reassured the other woman.

'Don't worry, I'm sending him home safely.'

That was all it took for them to be on less offensive terms again as the blonde woman smiled at her and even took a sip of the black coffee she was offered a few seconds ago.

'Alright, I think we should head home now, I'll go take our coats,' Saya told Uta as she bowed to Itori and left their side.

Taking advantage of their brief time alone and of her companion's deep state of insobriety, Itori leaned in.

'Aren't you going to say anything?'

Uta smiled, his hand traveling alongside her waist, inclining his lips to her ear to whisper:

'If only eating you wasn't deadly.'

He retreated shortly, the traces of his poisonous voice reflecting in Itori's body quiver even after he left.

'Too bad, I was hoping I could come over to your place tonight,' the young man at Itori's side commented, referring to her earlier statement, not minding the earlier exchange.

'Don't worry,' she purred and wrapped her arms around his neck. 'I lied.'

* * *

He had been granted the audience sooner than expected but there was no room for complaints. As he stepped into Arima Kishou's office, Amon could not deny he was nervous. Arima had the presence of a god in their headquarters and while he preferred to carry himself with dignity and privacy, one couldn't help but bow lower than usual to that man. Matsumoto, a trainee if he recalled correctly, who seldom acted as Arima's assistant had just handed him a file and upon noticing Amon's arrival, had swiftly taken her leave.

'Arima-san,' Amon bowed deeply, 'thank you for receiving me.'

'Please, have a seat,' the white-haired man invited, skipping over the pleasantries yet bowing his head as well, in sign of acknowledgement. 'You have something urgent to tell me?'

'I am not entirely sure,' Amon said, observing how clean and organized his superior's office was. 'But I decided it's best to inform you, at least before we begin our Owl-hunting operation tomorrow. We...I,' he corrected himself, 'don't know how matters are going to conclude tomorrow.'

'I understand,' the other man voiced out, providing Amon with the confidence to speak up.

'It concerns your sister, Saya-san,' he finally opened the subject, all the while looking at Arima directly in the eye. Amon truthfully respected Arima and his work at CCG which was why he was not going to lose his conviction and instead spoke with determination. 'Two months ago, I have witnessed Saya-san trying to access your computer in this very office and while that could have been on your orders, something in her demeanor at that time told me she was not supposed to be here.'

Arima's features remained unperturbed, as if he did not even register the information communicated to him. In response, Amon continued.

'Also, prior to that, I have seen her downtown accompanied by someone suspicious. They seemed a bit close and again, it bothered me.'

Silence befell the office, Arima finally leaning into his chair and breaking eye contact with Amon.

'It might be nothing, I am aware, but I thought it was wise to alert you,' Amon told him, somewhat discouraged by Arima's lack of participation. He expected at least a frown, this was his sister they were talking about, the person he thought he cared the most about. _If not even for her then fo..._

'I already knew about her unauthorized visit to CCG.'

It was now Amon's turn to remain silent. Speechless, actually. In a way, it made sense Arima was aware of it but then again, Amon did not see nor hear anything related to a penalty for Saya-san. It was one thing to know and other not to act upon it. Surely Arima-san must have pressed more into the matter, fact which was confirmed a split second after.

'She came to acquire the list of escaped prisoners from Cochlea,` the white-haired man informed.

`The Cochlea list?! What on Earth could she need that for?` Amon bursted out loud, realizing a bit too late that he was overstepping his boundaries yet thankfully, Arima did not seem to mind.

`To pass it on to someone.`

Hardly succeeding in accepting the newly revealed information, Amon gripped at his chair, slowly putting together the puzzle.

`Someone…who is connected to the recent killings of said prisoners?`

`I find it logical,` Arima gave the affirmative answer.

Investigator Amon gulped down any incoherent lines that were about to escape his mouth. This was beyond unexpected. No, this was inconceivable. Saya-san would have to be the last human in contact with ghouls so why would she go to such extremes to provide an enemy with that list? Indeed, it resulted in many threats being eliminated however, sweet Saya-san cooperating with ghouls…left quite the bitter aftertaste. It summoned confusion and indignation and still, Arima was as collected as ever. Amon was about to launch his first set of questions when Arima spoke again, about to disarm Amon for good.

`As for the man you mentioned,` he said, opening the file that was brought to him earlier and picking out a photograph from within several others depicting the same person, `is this him?`

Amon looked at the image of a heavily tattooed and pierced man, instantly replying:

`Yes, that's him, exactly.`

`I see, ` Arima retracted his hand, currently being the one to stare at the photo. `Do you know who this is, Investigator Amon?`

`I'm afraid I don't,` the other retorted. He did not look like anyone from their database.

`I suppose you wouldn't. His codename might change your mind,` Arima said, placing the photo back in the file, his eyes fixing Amon. `No Face.`

That brief, simple reply was all it took for Amon to jump out of his chair, eyes wide with panic.

`That SS+ ghoul?!`

`Recently promoted to rank SSS.`

`Arima-san!` Amon Koutaru cried out, as he felt himself submerging in terror. Sweat began dropping off Amon's forehead, throat dry and sore. Even his arms started trembling uncontrollably at his sides. No Face was a top-tier ghoul, in the second most dangerous class after the one belonging to the Owl and now he was suddenly revealed to be of the same level and loitering around Arima's sister? He was there that day, right in front of that menace and he did not even know how exposed Saya-san was. It filled him with irritation and what was more, with disorder.

`Please take your seat,` Amon instructed.

`However…`

`Please,` Arima insisted. Amon complied, collapsing in the chair.

`I'm sure there is much information to process but you will be filled in on the details as soon as you return from the mission,` the investigator reassured him. The higher-ups had already decided that Amon was going to be promoted again and supplied with additional top-secret information since he and Akira Mado were to be selected for A class missions from that point on. Had he not been confronted by him with Saya's matter, Arima would have avoided the above conversation but now it proved necessary or else things could risk falling off track.

`As you are already aware, No Face has caused us quite the trouble in his earlier days, at least until he transitioned. At the moment, he's quietly running his studio mask in the 13th Ward with the occasional victims but he's not particularly offensive which is why we are closely monitoring him.`

`Monitoring?` Amon raised his voice. `We know his location and identity and we're just leaving him be?`

`I shall repeat myself then; he is docile currently and we have no confirmation whether he is affiliated with Anteiku or Aogiri Tree, which means there is no rush to provoke him. Not now.`

Since Amon was making a sour face, Arima decided to ask him the question that would put matters into perspective. `We have our hands full with two Owls, do you believe we could stand up to 3 SSS ranked ghouls as we are now, Investigator Amon?`

His silence served as the obvious response. As much as he thought Saya was the priority for the man in front of him in this ordeal, Amon admitted that Arima was right; one wrong step could destroy everything and throw Saya in the middle of it all. His info on No Face was limited and Arima would know better than him what to do. Still, to receive this hit right before an important operation was worrisome but Arima was quick to pick it up.

`For now, focus on the mission and I will solve the other problem.`

Amon nodded yet inside, he was uncertain. How was Arima going to solve it? How connected was Saya-san to the ghoul world? And most importantly why?

`I would have made my move if I considered my sister being in any immediate danger,` Arima told Amon. He must have seen his expression of turmoil, clearly.

`Yes, no doubt,` Amon hurried to add. `But….is Saya-san…?`

_Involved with ghouls?_ Arima filled in the question Amon never had the courage to. '`Most likely. She has no idea what she is doing, that girl. With that being said, I would appreciate it if you kept it to yourself.`

`Of course,` Amon gave his promise. He had been already privileged with the Shinigami's trust, he would never do anything to betray it.

`Best of luck to you tomorrow, Investigator Amon.` the other man ended the conversation.

`Thank you.`

Amon got up heavily. He bowed to the other and took his leave in silence. Outside the office, he paused, looking down at his shoes. They were his good shoes. Tomorrow, he would have to leave the fancy clothing behind and take on his battle attire. Tomorrow he would have to give his best and kill off as many ghouls as he could. The more he killed, the less chances they had to prey on innocent people. He wondered how he'd react if Saya were his sister. Amon figured he'd already be knocking down No Face's door, engaging him in combat but…that could end in his death and leave his sister defenseless. No good. He was glad he did not have a sister. In exchange, he had comrades and for them, he would die tomorrow if that was meant to happen. His head hurt, reason why he decided to focus on what he was intended to do as a soldier and therefore forget all he had heard earlier. Arima-san would have to handle the rest.

Inside the office, Arima had locked the offensive file in one of his drawers and opted to stare at the family photograph resting on the desk. Saya was smiling warmly at him, as she should always do.

`You have exquisite taste, don't you?` Arima bitterly asked the girl trapped inside the frame. `Out of all the ghouls, you went ahead and picked a troublesome one.`

Tired of the one-sided conversation, Arima glared at the blank paper in front of him for a change. They were to write a will, everyone at CCG who would participate in the mission. As always, he gracefully enclosed the empty sheet in the assigned envelope, never once having written a will. After all, he was not planning to die. Not that soon.

* * *

She was on the roof and she hated waiting. Uta blinked at the ceiling and eventually got up from his bed but not before covering Saya's bare back with the covers. He grabbed the pair of jeans he had discarded on the floor earlier and while buttoning them up to his hip line, he made his way to the rooftop. Purple cape fluttering in the wind along with the loose bandages she always wore, the young woman stopped humming an opera song as soon as she saw the male ghoul approach her.

`Why the sudden visit? Are you that desperate?` Uta asked Eto.

`Desperate?` she giggled, gazing at him with her odd eyes. `I haven't been desperate since I was a child living in the 24th ward and barely managing to cannibalize low-lifes.`

`But look at all the good it did you, my Queen,` Uta said, pointing out her status.

`Don't you mean `King`?`

`I believe that title is reserved for men only. Which is why your father hurried to snatch it away.`

Eto's expression remained serene even at the mention of Yoshimura though Uta considered it a well-constructed act.

`Hmm…just because you're mesmerizing Arima's little sister doesn't mean you'll be sheltered forever, No Face.`

`That's not why I'm with her.`

`Really now? Are you perhaps in love?` She asked, the absurdity of that thought widening her grin.

`Are you perhaps envious?` Uta bit back calmly. `That unlike you, someone loves me?`

The air suddenly got heavy and Eto's face twisted in irritation.

`Let's cut the small talk. Are you taking sides in this?`

Uta shrugged. `Have I ever?`

`No. But you can't stay neutral forever.`

`On the contrary, I can. I'm not joining your daft little group, everything you do is boring and lacks artistic sense. There's no fun in it and that puts me off. I prefer observing, for now,` Uta told her, himself approaching the edge where she stood. His skin glistened strangely in the night light, changing the shape of his tattoos altogether.

`And somehow…you lent a helping hand to Kanou.`

`For an entertaining cause,` he justified. `We all wanted to know if the operation would be successful.`

Yes, there was that. Even Uta wouldn't say no to such a feat. Rize's kagune implant into Kaneki Ken was premeditated and they cooperated nicely for it.

`Does this have anything to do with her?` Eto cunningly asked.

`Hardly.`

`Should I go downstairs, chop off her head and convince myself?`

`Think you can?` He confronted her. `I hope you do remember that the only reason you're maintaining some sanity while in that ugly form of yours is because you're half human. I doubt you would have survived if you were entirely ghoul.`

`Unlike you, you mean.`

`Exactly. That's why I can do whatever I please.`

In the many years she had known him, he had done whatever he wanted. He had been surrounded by many allies and had formed groups easily, people following him without the promise of anything. Uta was a binge-eater, a chaos ruler himself and a ghoul she had underestimated for she had failed to foresee him transition. And he was minding his own business, as if bored by all the power he got, unmotivated by all that he could do or achieve. No matter, as long as him and his group of clowns would stay out of her way, she would not be minded by his existence that much. Despite her prior experience however, she was willing to underestimate him again. Eto was certain that apart from their difference in control, her degree of power exceeded his. Entirely.

`You know…for a clown, you have awful humour,`she teased, reverting back to her usual self. He stayed silent, choosing to show off that all-knowing smile of his. A level beneath them, they could sense movement.

`She's waking up. Shouldn't you run along, now?`

`Ladies first,` Uta commented, waiting for her to leave. Just out of sheer play, she extended her kagune swiftly to attack yet, as expected, he blocked it with his bare hand, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

`I don't advise it. You need to be in top shape tomorrow.`

`Hmph!` She retorted and vanished just as subtly as she appeared. A second later, the door opened to reveal a freezing Saya marching towards Uta.

`What are you doing out here?`

`Taking a breath of fresh air. Let's go back to sleep,` He instructed, pulling the robe Saya casually threw around her shoulders tighter. She complied, choosing not to ask him about the female voice she heard earlier nor the blood-stained piece of bandage she saw laying on the ground from the corner of her eye. There was a right time for everything.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, this chapter was released faster, right? That's thanks to the great and many reviews that I got, thank you very much guys! I'm really busy with my job so it's nice to take a break and immerse myself in another universe and talk to fans of the manga/anime. Not many anime/manga fans in my city so I don't really have whom to talk to about all of this so hearing from you guys is really helpful! 33

Also…I made Uta an SSS ghoul because of the dramatic effect though it might not be that farfetched. Since the mangaka is leaving us hanging, I decided to spice things a bit. I thought about it really well and you know, Uta has a mask studio. Wouldn't that be the first place investigators would go to? At least to go collect information. So I'm assuming the CCG know about Uta and his studio and yet they're leaving him alone….I wonder why? Hmm? Please discuss. XD.

**Character reminder:**

**Tsuneyoshi Washuu:** Head of the CCG (I don't know if he appeared in the second season of Tokyo Ghoul, I'm mainly following the manga's storyline here).

**Yoshitoki Washuu:** Tsuneyoshi's son and the Bureau Director of CCG's Main Office (He DID appear in the anime, I know for sure).

**Matsumoto:** OC that appeared in chapter 5 – is a CCG trainee and followed Saya's trail earlier in the fanfiction if you all remember.

Ok, done! Now on with the reviews!

**BlackCatNeko999: **Hello, your words reached me, thank you so much! 33 I know sometimes chapters are a bit short but I believe this one is longer than usual maybe? . The grand battle is here already, well, next chapter some things are going to make me faint but I still need to plan it. I do know what chapter will contain but I need a structure and a certain order to make sure everything fits so please stay by my side and let me know how it works. I'm really glad you like it and I hope to read your reviews again!^^

**Megohime of Mutsu:** Thank God! I was worried for a second there. I'm really pushing it with these updating gaps, it feels like a manga release, we all know which ones I'm referring to -.- Please take care and see you again! :D

**codename00guest:** You got that right! Especially now that we found out Kishou knew everything all along but just waited, like smart predators do. Please let me know how you've liked this chapter! ^^

**lizy2000:** Hey lizy! Yep, Amon went ahead and let the cat out of the bag. Not much of a surprise for Saya's brother though. Now everything is getting serious, stick around! ;)

**VII:** Nice to meet you, thanks for reviewing! It doesn't matter if it's your first time reviewing, I am happy equally so please continue letting me know your thoughts from now on as well. No need to be an expert at reviewing, just your sincere opinion matters and as long as people are having fun reading, that is all that matters to me and it's great when people let me know. Take care and see you here again! :D

**M:** A familiar username, yay! I agree with you, I don't see Uta as a Koukaku either, just not really his style? XDXD Anyways, we'll find out sooner or later and I probably won't be disappointed. There's so much mystery built around this character, it just has to be good. And Uta will stay true to his character, I never intended to change him, this is how I imagine him in these circumstances. I mean, when I read that last manga chapter featuring him, I wanted to kill him. But then, I liked him even more for how much he managed to break everybody's heart. *sigh Hehe, it would be nice for Arima to catch Saya and Uta in the act but unfortunately, he already knew. He started investigating since the party, when he saw that footage and now….poor Saya. Fortunately, Saya won't get pregnant, she is responsible and a baby would interfere in many ways. In many dangerous ways….don't even want to think about it, XDXD. Please review again and talk soon!

**KrazyKeKe:** Welcome to the Tokyo Ghoul fanfiction family! Uta is…a passive bad guy, I guess? By not doing anything and just choosing to watch he somehow causes more damage if that makes any sense. I hope you will continue enjoying this story and let me know if you're still here. Who is turning out to be your favorite character for now? ;)

**Cyleana:** My dear, you're never late! So happy to see you're still here and hang on with your third semester, it's going to be alright. Just breathe in and out and take it one step at a time, oki? :D You were right about Arima, he does know everything. I mean….just look at his face. His eyes are like `I am God. You shall not hide anything from me.` But I had to build it up to this moment, Kishou knows very well what a thin line Saya is walking and he needed more information before tackling this issue. I like Uta and Saya together as well, their contrast is wonderful and extremely tragic and that makes a relationship easy to exploit in writing. Uta baffles me even now with his confusing attitude but that is where his charm is coming from. Talk to you soon and good luck with your studies! ^^

**0kami/wolfchen:** Uhhhhhh! Long time no talk, how have you been? Great to see you again! I wanna see your kitties, I bet they are adorable.^^ I'll keep updating so please return and post your thoughts, it means a lot to me. Take care.

**Addicted-to-GazettE:** Hello again! Woah, I used to be a big fan of The Gazette, somehow your username made me feel so nostalgic. I used to love listening to Guren and Taion…Happy to see a fellow fan reading my fanfiction, thank you! I know it took forever to update, but everything had to be planned carefully…someone needs to contact Ishida-sensei and tell him the story is way too complicated XDXD. As for Uta….I can't tell you much but anything can happen at this point. It all depends on how you see matters. Yes, confusing but I'm sure that no matter what I do, it still won't satisfy everyone so this is why I will try to keep it as realistic as possible. We'll see how things turn out in the end. Love 3

**EdenMae:** Glad to see you're liking where this is going! And very good observation about Saya's place in the fanfiction. It's a bit difficult when you have a character that is not an original and you somehow still want to tie it in the plot but I'm trying. In a way it helps that she is Arima's sister because Tokyo Ghoul is mainly Kaneki's story and his point of view, if it were said from Arima's point of view then….we'd have a completely different perspective. As a character, she needed to be connected to Arima because if she were any other character, she would have limited choices but this way, she has other characters (canon) that can do those things for her, so in a way, her character is supported and supplied by others (for example Arima and Kaneki). Uta's mind is hard to read, sometimes I dread going there and trying to pry beneath that surface of his. I even have one-sided conversations with him to try and figure out what he wants…heh, not weird at all, right? XD As for Saya….I am educating her. XD Anyways, see you next time and let's continue this conversation!*wink

**Hikiri:** Round 14 huh? It's been a long way and chapter 15 is finally out. XD I'm glad as well that you're seeing Saya's flaws. I really wanted a character that is completely human since she is involved with a ghoul. This adds up to their contrast and makes the relationship more interesting. Plus, I like dramatic characters so I would rather write someone that has flaws instead of too many qualities. She is imperfect and not entirely likeable in my opinion, frankly, I think everyone here likes Saya more than I do but that is because I am judging her a lot and as you all, waiting for her to become stronger. Don't discard any theories just yet, anything can happen. Uta's attitude is supposed to be confusing and make everyone wonder if he truly loves her or not, I sometimes have a hard time dealing with that fact as well but that is just the kind of character he is. As for Amon…well done. Both opinions work and he could have gone with any of the two and it would have characterized him. If this were the real manga story, I believe Ishida sensei would have made Amon tell as soon as possible but then again, Amon is someone who thinks a lot and would not want to bother his superiors before making sure of something himself. There is a scene similar to this when he withholds some info from Akira because he wants to ascertain it first and I think I referenced that when I made this choice. And I needed this particular timing so I guess I compromised a bit on his character. Anyways, I hope I balanced matters in the latest chapter. Also gave Uta a darn high level cuz I can and because it made sense to me. It's impossible for the CCG not to know who or where he is so what are they waiting for? Anyways, I'm keeping everything from the manga so we'll get to see pretty soon if Uta's gonna shed some tears or not XD. Hopefully I will see you again pretty soon! I already started structuring the next chapter. Best to you this week and take care! 3

**pancakes21:** Hi hi! It's always good to see fans debating characters and loving/hating them when they discover other sides of them. I hope you'll continue liking Uta regardless of how he acts or what his choices are, he is brilliant as a character! Which is why I am very grateful for your support and for appreciating Saya as the person that she is in this story. You described her very well, I think that might be her summary as a character! Let me know how you liked this chapter, Uta's interaction with Eto and your wishes for what's going to happen next. Until next time, take care! :)

**Angry Pencil Wielder:** I actually miss that Saya too! But everything has to be well-paced or else it won't make sense anymore. I already did say Saya is not a soldier so she will not become this badass gun wielder I'm sure many of you are hoping for but she will evolve, don't worry. :D She will have a wake-up call and she will realize that some of her fears were reasonable and that instant is approaching quite fast. You have quite the interesting theory with Yomo's thoughts, he might actually consider it that way subconsciously but Uta was attracted to Saya before he knew who she was. Thank you so much for stepping by and reviewing, I know it takes time and dedication so you have my gratitude! I hope to see you here again! :D

**sherlaylay:** I was actually waiting for your review as well, something told me you did not leave me here completely! XD Welcome back! Saya did change little by little, didn't she? She has her eyes a bit more open, her mind filled with new ghoul knowledge and her senses alerting her of the upcoming danger. This is it for this chapter, hope it was to your liking and may we chat again, as always! Lots of love! 33


	16. The ghoul's den

**Chapter 16: The ghoul's den**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul. Not my creation.**

* * *

Saya had slept throughout the entire day. Inner turmoil eventually took a toll on her and she had to rest to regain her strength even if that meant waking up at sundown. She slipped into something more formal as she planned to go downstairs and have an earlier dinner with her family. Lately, her time had been spent apart from them in the company of Uta and while sharing a meal with her father and brother could not even begin to account for her absence, she felt the need to do so. She missed them and matters finally calmed down. It had been too long since she even had a proper conversation with them.

Downstairs, Kishou was already seated at the dining table waiting to be served the first course. He glanced up at her arrival, faintly amused.

'I was beginning to think you would skip dinner entirely and wake up tomorrow,' he teased her as he extended his hand to pull the chair next to him and make room for Saya to sit down. The young woman took a seat, herself surprised at her greediness for sleep.

'So did I, but I guess hunger won in the end,' she said, picking up her eating utensils in anticipation. 'Isn't Father joining us?'

'Not today. He still has matters to attend to at the office.'

'Oh...' Saya trailed off a bit disappointed.

'How is university?' Kishou shot a question of his own, picking up some food with his fork.

'The same. Work?'

'The same,' the man replied.

In vain she tried to read any undertones of that statement, there was nothing that could hint any upcoming potential danger to the ghoul population. But then again, it was not as if Kishou was one of the easiest-to-read individuals thus she had to find other ways to make sense of his expressionless face.

'Maybe we should go on a trip. You, me and Father. Somewhere at the beach, bask in the sun for a while and leave this cold weather behind,' Saya suggested out of the blue. 'You certainly need some colour,' she laughed softly at his pale complexion, herself knowing better. 'I know you can't take days off that easily but even a day or two away from all of this would be good,' she persisted when seeing his lack of reaction.

'It's a good idea,' the white-haired man finally agreed, much to Saya's surprise.

'I wish we could go tomorrow,' she secretly tested but her mischief faded completely upon witnessing Kishou avoiding her eyes.

'I don't think that's possible.'

'I know, it was silly to think we could go that easily. You have your responsibilities, Father is still very much a pillar for CCG and I wouldn't even know what to pack. I would need new clothes and maybe a bathing suit and...' Saya stopped mid-sentence, finally paying attention to the TV in the dining room. It was simply there as background noise but the headline caught her attention. Her heart skipped a beat as she laid eyes on the highlighted letters that read: _CCG attack on the 20th Ward. A cafe shop had been discovered to have harboured ghouls!_

Everything felt surreal, to the point of madness even. There she was enjoying her dinner while ghouls and humans alike were being slaughtered in the ward that had become her sanctuary. She felt hypnotized by the television, hundreds of thoughts running wild through her head. Was Uta alright? Was Kaneki there? Did everyone in the cafe get captured or worse, killed off by the CCG already? How was she going to find the answers to these questions? And why was Kishou still home? It was a big-scale operation, wasn't it?

Kishou...For the past minutes he had said nothing. But Saya could feel his heavy gaze on her. She was certain her expression was mortifying which was why she did not dare turn to look at him. In distress, she grasped the sides of her chair, fighting off the impulse to stand and reveal everything; her brother would cut her off immediately. She tried to relax as much as she could, prioritizing her actions. Firstly, she had to excuse herself from the table without risking too much suspicion and afterwards go upstairs and call Uta. Saya needed to confirm his safety no matter what. If the ward was being pressure by such a large-scale operation, not many ghouls had a chance and even Uta would be in imminent danger.

'If you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom,' Saya finally mustered the voice, offering the least-inspired excuse she could come up with. She stood up and was almost out of the Kishou's line of sight when his words restrained her on the spot.

'Are you going to call him?'

And that was when it hit her. He knew everything. Everything she had tried so hard to conceal. His tone could not be more obvious. It shouldn't have come as a surprise. Did she actually think she could outsmart him, the Shinigami of CCG? Saya almost laughed out loud at her stupidity. But for a moment there, she thought she was safe. She thought she got everyone fooled because no walls came tumbling down and Kishou never confronted her with anything. He had allowed it, for what reason she did not understand yet but maybe it was all because she could come up to him and admit it herself. The mistake she never wanted to believe she made.

'Call who?' the young woman feigned innocence, strongly wishing to extend the lie.

'Saya,' Kishou warned.

In response, she exhaled, her heart feeling light and heavy at the same time. 'Since when have you known?'

'Since the beginning.'

Of course. He probably knew more than she did. And they were both calm about it, at least on the outside. On the inside, Saya was dying little by little, unable to resist the tension.

'You didn't do anything nor say anything. Why?'

'I waited for you to mend your errors.'

Saya finally turned to him, her face twisted in sadness. There was no safe path to make Kishou understand what she felt but she could at least try to keep some dignity in the matter.

'How could I? Even I know what I'm doing is wrong but ... I can't stop. Not anymore. Please understand...'

She deserved a slap for her words, that much she knew but nothing of the sort came. Instead, Kishou left the comfort of his chair at the dining table and went over to his sister. Somewhat frightened about what he could do, Saya backed away a few steps but not enough to escape the now steady grip on her arm. He pulled her towards him and they both hastened on the stairs, in the direction of her room.

'Kishou, what are you doing? Let me go!'

'You're going to call him, that is your intention, isn't it?'

She shuddered at the thought of having to confront that type of scenario with Kishou by her side and tried to free herself again, no success whatsoever. His fingers were simply not uncurling. His head faced forward, manoeuvring her like a doll. When they finally reached her room, Saya witnessed helplessly how her brother went over to her nightstand and picked up her phone, extending the object to her. She eyed at as if it was on fire, denying her instincts.

'Please, Kishou, don't make me do this' Saya pleaded. The young man did not wait to be asked a second time and placed her personal phone in his pocket. She expected him to scold her, to drag on the painful reprimands she always imagined him to throw in her direction but Kishou chose another route. He left her standing in the middle of the room as he inched toward the door. Upon realizing he was about to leave, Saya voluntarily attached herself to his arm, her voice trembling with emotion.

'Kishou, where are you going?!'

Once more he greeted her with silence, his eyes cold, distant. As if he was looking at something other than his sister. As if he was in the presence of something lesser then human. Saya's fingers dug deeper into his arm, bent on stopping him.

'You're going to the 20th ward aren't you? Please don't go, Kishou, please. You're making a mistake, they're not dangerous ghouls, they don't hurt people anymore. They don't kill for their food and they're peacefully co-existing with us, there's no reason to consider them a threat, please!'

Kishou remained poised still, barely not recognizing the frantic woman in front of him. Internally agreeing with him, Saya couldn't recognize herself either, going to such lengths to conserve her happiness. But Uta was certainly there, fighting alongside the others.

'You're delusional,' he concluded, losing interest in her fit of despair.

'Please don't kill them,' Saya whimpered. _Please don't kill him_.

But he slipped away from her hands. And she stood there almost defeated.

'Kaneki Ken.'

That name was enough to stop Arima Kishou in his tracks. It was Saya's last hope but she went with it anyways.

'He's a university colleague of mine. He's a really good kid and he was born human,' she began, her voice fading, strangled by how desperate it all seemed. 'He underwent surgery recently and someone made him half-ghoul...I know this might appear stupid and please believe me, I know how it sounds but he has no fault in this and you would be killing a human, Kishou. It's not his fault he is the way he is now and he should not die for it, it's not right, Kishou...It's not right...'

That too fell short of compassion because Kishou advanced in his steps and closed the door behind him. It was only when she heard the door's lock into motion did she truly start to panic. Saya was currently locked in her room, her brother expecting her to wait patiently until the whole ordeal would be over. With no cellphone and no way of exit, she was completely disconnected from everything. She looked out the window but the fall would come with an injury and what good would that do? And so she went to the door again, banging on it, shouting for Kishou to let her out. Saya must have knocked and cried out for what seemed like long hours until she heard someone working the door. She backed away, prepared to make her way through whoever was outside but had to stop upon seeing her father.

His face was livid. Saya's motivation died out as soon as she locked eyes with him. So much could be read in them; disappointment, detachment and above all, exhaustion. He must have mulled over the same thoughts she had had and more. He must have driven himself tired until he could no longer pretend to understand the reasons behind her choices. Arima Daichi looked defeated and the only other time she saw him look like that was when her mother died. The thought of having died herself in her father's eyes was sufficient enough to make her obedient. She would not run. Not anymore.

'Father,' Saya started and saw him flinch slightly at the title. She continued nonetheless. 'I know you must hate me right now but...'

'I don't hate you, I could never,' Daichi interrupted her softly. 'I simply don't understand how matters could have gone so wrong...I did educate you on the dangers of the world and provided you with reasonable explanations. I repeatedly told you why we have to rid the world of ghouls and why we should never let them take advantage of us and still...why did you do this, Saya?'

'I didn't mean to... it just happened. I met him by chance and I could no longer stay away from him,' she said, naively thinking that would be enough of an explanation. She knew otherwise. If only she could explain her feelings better and somehow make him understand that she never meant to hurt anyone even if she selfishly gripped onto bliss at the risk of losing everyone. But things were not that simple. They could have been, if only Saya were to explain her relationship with someone human such as herself but she chose to nurture affection for the very being that threatened human life and all she knew.

'He's not like the others, Father. I promise you,' she begged, 'he's changed for me. He isn't killing anyone and he cares for me deeply. He would never hurt me,' Saya appealed to his sense of parenthood, hoping to open his eyes on the subject at hand. Wasn't this all a father wished for his daughter? To find a man who would protect her and cherish her for as long as she lived?

Daichi smiled bitterly at his daughter, a sigh exhaling along with his words:

'My poor little girl...Come with me,' he gestured. Saya blinked in confusion, wondering about her father's utterly calm behaviour. He led her downstairs into his office where she hardly ever entered but secretly wished she could. For the first time in years, he allowed her to sit on his chair and turned on his laptop. Saya suddenly felt restless, remembering that while she indulged her father in his intentions, the cafe she loved was being destroyed and Uta was being threatened.

'Father, there's no time to read, we have to stop...'

'That's enough!' Daichi finally snapped and slammed a stack of file papers on the desk. With Saya silenced, he could now access the restricted CCG data base and select the information he desired. Two passwords later, numerous files addressing 'No Face' popped up on the screen and detailed his actions and deeds since the first year he had been intercepted by the CCG. Daichi was about to open the paper files as well but noticed Saya had already seized that task, her hands trembling as she browsed through papers with names and photographs familiar to her.

'Is this...?' she trailed of, almost afraid to utter Uta's name in her father's presence.

'Yes. His code name at CCG is No Face.'

For a brief moment, Saya lost interest in the files and directed her attention to the laptop screen, reading the information provided. There was much to read, Daichi knew it perfectly. Ever since he found out about his daughter's relationship with No Face he had obsessively read everything on that ghoul, shuddering at the thought of Saya being corrupted by that savage.

'I will let you read,' Daichi told her. The man made his way to the exit, his heart constricting harder than usual. 'And I will not lock you in, you are free to do as you please, Saya.'

His daughter did not reply. She was far too focused on her read and far too lost in her discovery. Daichi meant what he said. He would not stop her. He truly believed that what she read would make her accept her errors and seek guidance. And Kishou would be there for her.

He took one last look at his daughter, admiring her perfect posture. Much like her mother, she was breath-taking. Her graceful profile tilted down at the papers again, lips parting to announce the horror of what she read. In a way, he could understand why that monstrous ghoul would look at Saya and see something more than flesh for consumption. But he would not allow it anymore.

He could almost hear Adelissa rolling in her grave.

* * *

He could not ignore what was happening even if he wanted to; despite what Yomo had told him, Kaneki left the safety of his room and would plunge into danger to help his friends. He had left Anteiku, yes, but he would never forget the good that was done to him; the Manager's hospitality, the protection of his co-workers and even the smell of coffee that made him feel at home could not be disregarded.

Earlier, he stood perched on top of a building looking down at the cleared streets stretching below. Yomo told him to lay low because the Manager had it under control and this was a sacrifice that they had to make. He also said the shop could be rebuilt but they all felt it could never be the same again. Even if they would somehow survive and meet once more after it, who knew how many things would be different…

'Kaneki-kun…will you please not go?' Tsukiyama pleaded in tears, his tattered body numb on the ground, next to a disgusted Nishio.

Kaneki took a few moments to think it all over again. His decision had been made and no one could change his mind. Nishio had joined him on the roof even before Tsukiyama arrived to try and sway his thoughts but with no results. He truly had good friends and that was mainly why he could not allow them to get hurt. Even Tsukiyama in his rage to stop Kaneki shooting attack after attack at him was simply trying to protect him in his own way.

'I'm sorry Tsukiyama,' Kaneki said, bending down to retrieve his mask, 'I appreciate you coming to stop me but I'm done with not being able to do a thing.'

Anteiku needed him now more than ever. This entire operation was beyond a punitive expedition, it was an extermination. He saw so many dangerous faces in the crowd of doves, their numbers overwhelming attack forces dispatched in previous missions. Amon, Marude, Shinohara and possibly other high-ranking investigators were participating in the mission, armed to the teeth, prepared to the bone. They knew the Owl would appear and they were prepared to die for it. Kaneki, on the other hand was prepare to live through it.

He had promised Touka and had mutually agreed so with the Manager. He would not end up like Rize and would not permit the world to fall into even more despair. Things were changing. Ghouls were changing. And he was finally strong as well. This time, Kaneki had to make a difference. He had to.

He smiled at Nishio and Tsukiyama one last time and charged towards the flock of doves, four red wings of his own sprouting out of his back.

* * *

Tokyo in its entirety was aware of the attack on the 20th ward and Uta was no exception. Whispers had been going around and his own informants consolidated the rumour. Yukimura must have known as well that his sanctuary had no more walls surrounding it and the attack would happen sooner than later. Adding the last touches to a commissioned mask, Uta went and turned off the TV. He did not need to see the broadcasting of the event, he knew all too well what was going on and also, it seemed he had a very special guest that night.

He could sense them from outside the shop, waiting. Since they were not planning to enter, Uta decided he would extend the invitation personally. He made his way up the stairs and opened the door to look at the man posted in front. He had never met him before but he smelled like her and so he understood he was in the presence of Saya's father. She did not look like Arima Daichi but her demeanour was much like his, Uta concluded.

Daichi, also, never met Uta before that moment. Everything he knew about that ghoul was from files and reports and luckily, he had never had the pleasure. Not until tonight. While he did manage to make his way to his studio, Daichi's feet did not allow him to cross the threshold of his little shop, opting to wait for the ghoul to appear on his own. And now that Daichi finally had him in front of him, his heart suddenly felt weak. The tenths of pictures he had seen of that man could not prepare him for the real deal. But he summoned the courage. He opened his eyes well and tried to see what his daughter saw. He was tall and well-built, skin pierced and covered in tattoos. Easy-going, almost passive but the line of his jaw proved otherwise. His kakugan was active, defying secrecy. All in all he was easy on the eyes; maybe he could understand why Saya was tempted. After all, he was so different from all the men she had met and what could be more irresistible than someone who could easily end your life but would choose not to do so?

Daichi glared at those long limbs of his, shuddering at the thought of his tentacle-long fingers touching his daughter while she would look into his dark-red eyes and naively believe his intoxicating words.

'We haven't officially met,' Daichi forced himself to start, 'My name is Arima Daichi.´

'Pleased to meet you Arima-san. I imagine it's pointless to introduce myself at this point,'Uta replied calmly.

_What a serene voice_, Daichi thought to himself. One that would make you believe everything it entitled.

'I would like to ask you, what are you doing here, Arima-san?'

'My daughter,' Daichi revealed, 'leave her alone.'

Uta raised his eyebrows at Arima's request, childishly curious.

´Have you talked this through with Saya?'

'Don't speak her name,' Daichi warned, fingers clenching into tight fists. He hated it coming from his lips, as if it belonged only to him to utter. ´She's a silly child, she doesn't know what's good for her. But I do. And I want you to stay away from her or I'll be forced to take some measures.'

Hardly intimidated by Daichi's words, Uta took a step forward, gaze darkening.

´Measures?' The ghoul repeated. ´I'm afraid you're confused, Arima-san. You're not allowed to touch me or have you forgotten that I am placed under CCG protection for the time being?´

Daichi did not forget. On the contrary, that was the only reason why his quinque was not at Uta's throat by now, draining his worthless life for corrupting his daughter. Uta was a key informant to the CCG. In exchange for his cooperation with the organization and submissive behaviour he displayed in his assigned ward, he would be allowed to peacefully run his business without having to hide from top investigators. That ghoul had earned his immunity and had been spared of the hunt due to higher orders which Daichi currently felt he could disregard. Why else would there be a visible mask studio allowed to exist in a world where ghouls' identities were concealed by masks? Otherwise it would be the very first place investigators would raid.

´Do you think I care?' Daichi challenged. ´The moment you involved my daughter, you lost all trace of immunity to me. But even I'm not as stupid as to charge blindly. If my daughter likes you then there must be some sort of sense in you and I have come to appeal to it. Therefore I am asking you again. Please leave Saya alone. Let her go.'

´I can't do that.´

He said it so simply. Directly, without taking seconds to consider circumstances. Somehow it made Daichi even more frustrated, hating the course of this meeting. He did not expect it to go smoothly but he at least hoped his presence would give second thoughts to that ghoul. But it was as if nothing changed. It was obvious No Face was not afraid nor was he interested in Daichi's threat.

'Why?' Daichi questioned just as simply. 'What are you planning? Do you think you'll strike back at CCG by hurting Saya? Is this why you're so stubbornly suffocating my daughter?'

The bastard dared to chuckle in Daichi's face. The investigator gaped his mouth at him, wondering what could possibly be so amusing to him. Ghouls were truly vicious, they had no regard for a parent's love, that was undeniable.

'Suffocating…you're saying it as if I am the one pursuing her, Arima-san. Has it ever occurred to you that the chase is mutual? That maybe we're in love and I have genuine affection for her?' Uta suggested.

'You don't love her,' Daichi stubbornly declared, sickened by the idea of it. Daichi was cognizant of what that man was capable of, he had followed his vile actions since the beginning. When Kishou confronted him with the fact that he was involved with Saya, Daichi could not even look at his daughter for the entire day. He even went as far as to avoid her as much as possible until he could accept the situation and therefore find a solution to it. He would not allow his daughter to be tainted by a member of the Pierrot. In the end, she would be hurt so deeply, she would most likely never recover from it. And yet, if people are not a little bit hurt they don't understand, which was why he had to show her the truth about him.

'I think you're even denying the possibility,' Uta told him nonchalantly. 'Is it that hard to accept the fact that we're content in each other's company? Or does this complicate matters for you? Because if I were to let her go as you say, she would end up hurt and hate you no matter what? In this case, I think it's better to let her have her happiness.'

'How dare you? You might have fooled her but not me. A parent takes one look at their child's partner and they immediately know. And you….you don't love her.'

While situated in a generally remote part of the 4th ward, people and ghouls alike had gathered to stare at the confrontation. There was no doubts about Arima's identity, the man simply looked too much like an investigator to pass as a regular business man and Uta did not exactly look like your usual youth. Questions were bound to appear and the commotion would gather even more spectators which was not what any of the two particularly wished for. Uta sighed, realizing there was only one solution left. His hand extended and pushed open the door to his studio.

'I think it's best we change locations, Arima-san. We won't be bothered in my shop.'

Daichi's reluctance could be read all over his face. It would be a colossal mistake to step into his shop, especially when he had let no one know of his whereabouts. Picking up on his hesitation, Uta challenged him:

'Your daughter,' he pressed, making sure to avoid voicing out her name again, 'had stepped into my studio numerous times by now. I don't want to believe her own father is lacking in courage.'

Daichi gritted his teeth, suddenly more aware of the gun he had hidden inside his coat. Generally, he would not be stirred off that easily but when it came to his children, he would lose all reason. As a result, he walked over to the entrance accepting that what he was about to do was a necessary evil and he did not need an audience for it.

'I will never let you have her,' Daichi warned as he passed by Uta inside the shop. 'Never.'

Wisely, Uta preserved his silence. With one last look outside his studio, he locked the door behind him and he too disappeared into the darkness below.

* * *

**A/N:** And done. Well, this fanfiction is slowly coming to an end, now that I have finished this chapter, I feel excited XD. I looked back at the date of my first published chapter and I can't believe it was such a long time ago. It would be great to see people that first review still be here and accompany me in this journey. I think my writing style changed and maybe now I would pace this fanfiction a bit differently but then again, it helped me meet so many fans so I don't regret any of it.

Reviews help a lot and I want to thank the people who took some time to message me from time to time to remind me that they are still waiting for new chapters. Thank you, it means a lot to me. Immensely.

And by the way….I'm loving Takizawa in the :re manga….a LOT. .

**For my lovely reviewers!**

**lizy2000:** Thank you for the review! Well, Arima doesn't seem like someone who would get shocked that easily. I mean, I think Sesshoumaru (from Inuyasha) had a wider range of expressions if you know what I mean XD. Plus, he also had time to mule over everything, he doesn't get emotional, that's why he's so good at his job. And yes, Saya and Uta are awesome:D

**Cyleana:** Congratulations on passing your test! (waaaaay overdue) I hope you will pass many more tests from now on successfully! Thank you for your lovely review, you pointed out the great parts of this chapter which were incidentally my favourite :D. I think Saya should have more questions but you know how love is, you don't want to destroy your happiness with little things. I feel sorry for this pairing as well. Uta sometimes seem like he can be capable of such gentleness but then you see his real side and that makes him a true monster. Luckily, there are people who can put a stop to this 'illusion' and bring Saya back to reality and yes, Kishou is one of them. He would never get emotional, he holds the Shinigami title after all. In a way, he's very similar to Uta and vice-versa. Under other circumstances they would get along pretty well, I think. Thank you for being here, I hope you still are. Take care and talk to you again!

**Hikiri:** Hello Hikiri! Been a while, right? If I were a published writer….releasing a new book quicker would be an issue. Anyways, so glad to talk to you again and comment on chapters and characters. Don't feel terrible for not thinking that Arima knew, that is the beauty of a story! I personally like to be confused and not know what's coming next, it makes a story delicious! As for Arima, he is a contradiction, he's one of the hardest characters to read along with Uta. They are both so complex even though at a first glance, they seem really simple. His opinion on ghouls is probably not that black and white, I think he too has morality issues and doesn't find that much justice in his job. I think keeping Kaneki alive proves it, just like you said. Anyways, I will play it in the story as well and hopefully it will turn out the way I want it to. And thank you for the Uta comment, I think he too would not care about gender. He is that type of character and I am glad we see eye to eye on this matter. I really wish you are still here, I'll just have to wait and see. Take care!

**codename00guest:** Ahhh, congrats, this comments sums up Uta and Saya's relationship as a whole. I am so happy you got off that vibe from their relationship- that was exactly what I was going for. I truly wanted people to be confused about Uta's real intentions just as I have been from the manga. I wanted Uta to be the same bi-polar character that never shows you his real self. That's his charm, in the end. Well done. And also, what an interesting comparision between Arima and Sherlock Holmes. If I think about it…he is analytical and poised, just like the great detective. Makes sense. I love my reviewers, they are always so creative and nothing escapes their eye! May we talk again! Stay well. J

**ChaoticDiamond:** Hello! So nice to meet you. You have never reviewed but it's never late, thank you so much for showing me your appreciation. Here is a new chapter, I hope it still suits you and you are still interested in Tokyo Ghoul! :D

**Catriona-Yagri:** Thank you so much! I'm so glad to see this chapter awoke in you so many emotions. Suspense is good, it makes a story so much better, I agree! You flatter me truly but what I am most happy about is the fact that I get to talk to you about our common love for Uta and Tokyo Ghoul! And you can go ahead and be arrogant! If you see something you don't like or don't understand, no need to hold back. I like discussing story issues and writing techniques. There can't be better writers, just different perspectives so never put yourself down! Take care!

**BlackCatNeko999:** Hello again and thank you for your input!^^ I know many readers are excited about the battle but I can't really include Saya in there since it's not her stage. Even if this is written from her point of view, I saw no real reason to add Saya in the final battle, she would have no place in it. She will be connected to it and it will change everything, don't worry, I will touch on that subject plenty. But for now, Kaneki, Arima, the Owl are the most important. Also, thank you for appreciating my take on Amon. A little secret, I like writing this character, he's so fair and interesting, wish I could have included him more. And thank you for liking Saya. To this day it shocks me that I have somehow managed to write an acceptable female character. Hope to talk to you again!^^

**NecroPriestess:** Wow, all in one day? That is such a great compliment, thank you! If this story draws you in and makes you associate it with the authentic universe then my job is done. XD I tried to base Saya on a normal character…maybe what Rize could have been if she were human? I loved that elegant attitude of hers and it transferred over to Saya somehow. Hope to see you again, it was a great pleasure! :D

**Hello:** Hello back! You're not a terrible reviewer, I believe you truly said what you thought and that is also very important to me. You're right about Uta and his circumstances but I already had some explanation for why he's still allowed to mingle free but I kept it especially for this chapter since I have a structure I need to keep. As for the other Arcs….I know what you mean, I should have added more backbone but I get the feeling people are starting to get bored with this fanfiction already and so I'm trying to spare them. Also, it's difficult for me to include Saya in scenes that she has absolutely no purpose in though, I will admit, it could be done so I agree with what you said. After I finish this story, I will go back to it and fix parts about it, in grammar, structure and even lines. I see it differently now that almost two years passed. But thank you for your words, I hope to see you here again! :D All of you!

**0kami:** Hey there! Omg, I searched for pictures of Cornish rex cats online and they are absolutely beautiful! I never saw this type of cat before but I sincerely think they look amazing. They look like royalty, trust me. So no matter what people say, don't pay attention. They are your companions and if you like them that is all you need to care about. :D Yes, Saya has to be really careful what she does now. Because not only Arima knows but Saya just found out who Uta really is so things are not that greyish anymore. She will either have to accept it entirely or side with her family for good. I like torturing this character a bit too much. Please review again and keep me posted on your cats! ;)

**pancakes21:** Welcome back! And thank you for the raw review! Eto is always very intense and in combination with Uta, I expect sparks. They are both 'leaders' of their own organization, it was bound to happen. And I truly laughed when you mentioned Saya being eaten by Uta, even if just a little nibble XD. It wouldn't be completely out of the question, Uta is known for having done really surprising things but I don't think it would be something Arima could not control. I've done some explaining in this chapter in this regard. And don't need to feel bad about poor Saya being manipulated, she kind of deserves it. You the readers and me the writer know who Uta is and we expect bad things to happen but Saya is clueless and she just wants to live happily with her boyfriend, as silly as that sounds. Heh, catch you later, friend! ;)

**EdenMae:** You know, I read many reviews and I see so many opinions of Uta but the common thing that everyone understands about him is his undertone. I just love how each and every reviewer wants to desperately believe that Uta can be different with Saya. That he will not betray her and that he likes her enough to shelter her from harm. You said something very important: 'I love you described Uta's tendencies to never give a crud about his actions but he wants to appear different for Saya or save her from his past actions'. Yes, that is true to some extent and it's the main thing that handicaps their relationship together. You are right, my friend, everything in this fanfiction is foreboding, I am so glad to see you understand it and accept it wisely. May we speak again about this latest chapter, I'm curious to see what you think will happen. J

**M:** Hi M! Long time no talk, right? ^^; Eh, back now with another chapter. I know what you mean, I like sadistic characters the most too. Something about them makes it really interesting to analyse and keep track of. Jason was a real masterpiece. He had raw cruelty and was necessary for Kaneki's awakening. As for mind game ideas…hmmm…I think it depends on what you want your character to do. You have to be sneaky yourself and then think of a way of tricking the characters into believing something different. That works for me, maybe it will be some sort of help to you too? Take care!

**sherlaylay:** It's so good to write to you again! Have you been well? You're focusing on what matters the most, as always! The real problem will be how Saya will react when she understands what kind of ghoul Uta is, you're absolutely right! It's going to be like a revelation, she's finally going to get where her uneasiness comes from, why his distant behaviour is second nature to him and why everything unfolded the way it did. Thank you for not abandoning the story, especially now since it's drawing to an end. Stay healthy and well!^^

**animefairy299:** Thank you so much! Please review again, it helps to know people are waiting on this! :D

**Not logged in/Stillnotloggedin:** Hello there, nice to meet you!^^ I know, Uta is a bit different in the first two chapters but that is mainly because when I first started writing this fanfiction, the manga was not over yet and Uta's true character hadn't been revealed so I had to change a few things in his character. It still wasn't going to be a happy ending for them though. And yes, that is correct, Marie Antoinette syndrome is the correct answer. J As for Uta and him injecting ink into his eyes, yes, that is what he claims but I don't believe that. It does not make sense to attract so much attention to himself, it is as if a thief would write 'thief' on his forehead and let others know of his nature.' I personally think he's playing with us; if he would have injected ink to make a 'kakugan' why wear sunglasses? Why hide them if he went to such lengths to ink them? Nah, I think that's just an excuse and he can't actually make his eyes go back to their 'human appearance'. But I appreciate the input, **I also mentioned that fact about Uta's eye tattoo at the comment section**. You can go ahead and read that as well, many readers have interesting opinions, I'm sure you'd like them! Take care!

**SKYSPRITE:** Hello there new reviewer! Thank you for your comments, it makes me happy to see people are still interested in Tokyo Ghoul.^^ I am well aware that their 'love' evolved quickly but you know, this is anime/manga we're talking about and I wanted to keep that unrealistic fact about it. If I were writing about characters in a book or even written something of my own, matters would have progressed differently. Nevertheless, I am accepting that critique, I could have taken it slower in some regards. But with fanfiction, going slow also has its downsides and people lose interest when you focus so much on realistic aspects. I went for a different approach with this story since Saya is the romantic and Uta is well…interested in playing the game? Come round again, I would appreciate it. :D Over and out!


	17. My darkness in the light

**Chapter 17: My darkness in the light**

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**Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Ghoul.  
**

* * *

A veil had been lifted off her face, that was exactly how she felt. Saya leaned back into her chair, eyes glued to the ceiling, a million thoughts haunting her mind. There was still much to read but she simply could not go through it anymore. She felt sick to her stomach and her head hurt by all the thinking. However, some sort of calmness set in. A blankness even. Clearly, the man she knew was nothing like what those files described. It was as if she was comparing two different people altogether yet…Saya found herself believing every little thing that was written about Uta. In the end, she did not know him very well. She finally admitted she fell in love with a safe image he constructed and she stupidly thought that was enough to maintain a relationship.

There had always been so much mystery around him mainly because of his refusal to answer the few questions she dared ask him but nothing could prepare her for his true character. He was a trickster. A deceiver. Enough to be part of the Clowns and play god with everyone he encountered. She had no idea he had been such a ruthless killer in his past; she had no idea he still was but began hiding it better. She did not know he was involved in so many documented CCG events and played major parts in destroying so many lives. Up till then, she never heard of the ghoul named Rize, or professor Kanou or their connection with the Clowns. Or that Uta's involvement made Kaneki into the hybrid he was today. Or that he still killed numerous humans and ate them despite having promised her to do otherwise. Given all she had found out, it would be no surprise for him to have had a hand in exposing Anteiku as a nest of ghouls to the CCG; he was, after all, placed under their temporary protection. Everything made sense now and she hated how well the puzzle pieces fell into place. It was understandable why his studio was allowed to exist and why her brother did not chop his head off yet. They still had many benefits from him and his group of Clowns.

Saya so desperately wanted to cry. She went as far as to push herself to do it but nothing happened. She hoped it would make her abandon that weary state she was in but it was pointless; her eyes burned with something other than tears. Saya wanted to avoid the main issue at hand; she did not want to battle with the whole purpose of her and Uta's relationship especially since, as of that moment, nothing could convince her Uta ever loved her the way she had not long ago imagined. No…there was no love in that relationship from his part. He used her. To suit his means or maybe take her as leverage against the CCG should they consider dropping their protection…or even for sheer fun, he was notorious for taking actions without any specific reason, it seemed.

It hurt so badly…but what gnawed at her even more was the fact that deep down inside, she must of realized he was wearing the greatest mask of them all. There had been hints at his true character, she witnessed them all. That aloofness when dealing with Kaneki's disappearance, his superficial views on some matters and most of all, the relaxed outlook he had on their relationship. Still, Saya was in love and had wanted to trust him even if that meant she had to close her eyes at the things that bothered her internally. And that had been her mistake. She knew all along and knew nothing altogether. It became impossible to separate those two images of Uta; Saya tried focusing on the person he was when around her but to no avail. He was becoming one and one only and it was not something she could so blindly accept anymore. There was no more trust, no more credence only her broken heart that dwelled in conflict, indecent enough to still care for him in spite of everything.

'Arima-san,' a soft voice almost made Saya jump out of her skin. A servant had entered her father's study and while she was certain the woman must have knocked, Saya was too lost in her thoughts to hear anything. 'There is someone from CCG waiting for you outside.'

Saya stood up, her feet wobbling. It seemed that night would be cursed with shock after shock. Did they finally learn of her connection with Uta and were going to imprison her and make her suffer the consequences? Or maybe her brother finally snapped and figured it would be best to keep her under CCG protection until the operation would be over? Either way, she had to stop imagining scenarios and face her mistakes.

'Oh and one more thing, miss,' the woman made Saya pause in her path, 'your brother told me to return this to you,' she said and placed an object in the girl's palm. Saya stared at her phone, remembering Kishou's impassive face. He trusted her to make the right decision, even after destroying everything. Did he not think she would be naïve enough to disregard all and run into Uta's arms as if nothing had changed? Apparently, Kishou did not believe so and that made Saya think it meant some of his faith in her had been restored. There was still the matter of CCG and when she went to see who it was, her heart clenched. Matsumoto was the one waiting for her, a displeased expression plastered all over her face.

'Evening,' she greeted first. 'Please come with me, Arima-san. You have been summoned to headquarters.'

* * *

The car ride had been silent for the most part. And while that would normally suit Matsumoto, this time it pissed her off. Arima's little sister always had this superior look on her face that would make women envious of everything she represented, Matsumoto included, but this time, matters were different. The young woman took her coat silently and followed her into the backseat of the provided car, an expression of supreme loss threatening her features. It was annoying.

Matsumoto voluntarily did not like Saya. Reasons aside, she would protect her no matter what since her superior meant everything to her but she did not have to act nice around her. Especially when Arima Kishou was not present.

'Lighten up, it's not as if they're calling you there to be executed. Our chairman, Tsuneyoshi-sama needs to have a word with you,' Matsumoto explained, unconsciously trying to sway the mood.

'Executed…' Saya trailed off, her head hanging downwards in melancholy. She deserved to be punished in some manner. She would welcome it without protesting. She wondered what the great leader of CCG wanted with her or if Kishou knew of this meeting but even so, even someone as clueless as her could understand it was serious. Saya tried to convince herself she was ready but in fact, she was scared. Scared of looking into that stranger's authoritarian face and receive reprimands and maybe a severe sentence. She was afraid of all the shame she would cause her family and the helplessness of her situation. Who was there to protect her now?

'You might not realize it but it's a great honour to meet the chairman,' Matsumoto said, hoping to instill some respect in Saya for the great Tsuneyoshi-sama. 'I haven't even seen the man yet! But I suppose I am not as special as some of us,' Matsumoto freely observed, watching the girl from the corner of her eye. She thought that at least would trigger a reaction but she was being too generous.

'Special…' Saya repeated, still caught in her inner war. Matsumoto was not aware that Saya was a different kind of special and she should not thrive to match it.

As expected, Saya's passive response further ticked off Matsumoto who could no longer keep herself in check.

'Excuse-me, Arima-san?' Are you by any chance experiencing brain failure? You've been repeating random words for a while now.'

That seemed to finally work. Saya's head whipped into Matsumoto's direction, expression half appalled at her rudeness. She inspected the woman for a few seconds and then her eyes clouded again which made Matsumoto worried for a second there.

'What's wrong? Are you sick, maybe?'

'Yes,' Saya accepted the conversation, 'but it's not something that can be treated with medication.'

Matsumoto was baffled. Where did that proud and sociable woman she saw at the CCG party go? What could have possibly happened to make her change to that degree? It was a pitiful situation and Matsumoto was stuck in it. She was good at apprehending ghouls and picking up info; consoling depressed women was not something she had experience with and neither did she want to acquire any but as much as she disliked Saya, she hated that side of her even more.

'Look, I don't know what happened,' Matsumoto spoke, allaying the issue the best way she could, 'but there are bigger problems in the world than whatever you're going through. Not trying to be mean here but while you and I are sitting in this car away from all the danger, my colleagues from CCG are risking their lives in the 20th ward. There will be many dead, from both parts and yet my mentors went there to protect the likes of you and other civilians who can't do anything against ghouls. So for that thought alone you should stop acting like this is the end of the world for you.'

Saya blinked surprised, her attention fully on Matsumoto. She had pegged that woman wrong. She was far more mature than her initial impression of her and properly thought things through. It made sense why she was under Arima's supervision, her brother saw something worth-while in her and suddenly, Saya could see it as well. While well-intended, each of Matsumoto's words stung, Saya feeling guilty for her past actions, realizing that her brother was also there fighting and all she could think before matters transpired was Uta's safety. So many lives were going to be lost that night and she would have continued to remain blind at the bigger picture if not for her recent discoveries.

'You're right,' Saya agreed, silence encapsulating the inside of the car for a few long minutes. 'Were you not allowed to participate in the mission?' Saya found herself asking a short while after.

'Of course not. I'm just a trainee, I would only be in the way,' Matsumoto reasonably replied, surprised at herself for having a proper talk with Arima's sister.

'I suppose so. But I'm sure you would have wanted to be there by my brother's side,' Saya observed with admiration.

'And is that wrong?!' The other woman demanded, not liking where the conversation was going. She was doing her best to keep her feelings for Arima Kishou secret, she did not need his little sister ruining her composure. 'I want to be there on the battlefield but I know I can't do it as I currently am. All we can do is stop being so melodramatic and patiently wait because you and I can't make a difference, Arima-san. Not yet, at least,' Matsumoto silently added, mainly referring to herself.

How right Matsumoto was, she could not help in any way, Saya realized. If there was something she could do, then that would be doing nothing at all. It would mean to stay away from Uta and find a way to make amends in time. But maybe that was why she was called to the CCG headquarters. Maybe Tsuneyoshi-sama was going to be her judge and give her the sentence she deserved.

The car finally pulled in front of headquarters, another CCG member waiting for Saya at the entrance. She understood this was where she was going to part with Matsumoto which was why she bowed sincerely and thanked her for accompanying her this far. Matsumoto returned her bow, her politeness back in check. Matsumoto's gaze lingered on Saya for a few long seconds. She used to think it was such a waste for her to be Arima Kishou's sister since she was simply there as décor; she was there to be pretty and pampered while her family did the rest. She would have imagined everyone in the Arima family to be part of the CCG battle force and help exterminate as many ghouls as possible but not everyone was made to be part of that world. It was far too late for Saya to be anything other than a sister anyways. She had never had the early proper training and her mental state was fragile, she saw it today. Matsumoto felt guilty for blaming her for her selfish reasons and understood why Kishou was so bound on protecting her.

Saya proceeded to follow the other CCG member into an office of grand proportions. That was not an office, Saya corrected herself, it was more like a throne room and in the centre, Tsuneyoshi Washuu, head of the CCG organization was waiting for her. She walked on the intimidating aisle up to what she considered a reasonable distance from the man's chair and bowed her head, waiting to be acknowledged. If this was a throne room, then Tusneyoshi Washuu was most certainly the king and Saya was simply a peasant. Never in her life did she feel such tension and such fear for a man and this was someone whom her brother faced every day and followed their orders. Her brother was a really incredible person, no doubt.

'I apologize for summoning you so late in the evening, Arima Saya-san but I wished to take advantage of tonight's mission and invite you over for a small meeting.'

'There is nothing to apologize for, Tsuneyoshi-sama,' Saya said, raising her head. Despite his words, there was no hint of apology in the man's tone and face whatsoever. She adjusted her features subtly, hoping she did not look like a deer in the headlights.

'My informants tell me you've been consorting with a certain high-level ghoul as of late,' Tsuneyoshi dived right into the subject.

Saya felt paralyzed. Her eyes remained fixed on his face and it was simply incredible how still she remained, frozen in her terror. Her mouth simply did not open to deliver a response but that did not impede the CCG commander to go on with his exposition.

'As you can imagine, I have already confronted your brother on the subject matter and I must say I am pleased.'

Another round of silence from Saya. The mention of her brother was enough to conclude her demise. If her brother was also summoned, then everything was in the open; they all knew she was a traitor. A naïve woman who thought that it was alright to disregard all her moral values for the sake of love – that was who she was. It was far too much, everything was disintegrating at an alarming speed. Not only did was she to cope with Uta's true character but she also had to endure shame and whatever sentence was in store for her. But she did hear the word 'pleased', she finally realized. What could he possibly be pleased about?

'Initially, I was against involving civilians with ghouls but Kishou made it clear that you were only keeping No Face under supervision. Your role was not as minor as I'm sure you believe Arima-san, in fact, due to your help, we were able to determine the connection between No Face and doctor Kanou. You have the CCG's gratitude for that.'

Saya's eyebrows furrowed, realizing his words did not make sense. If she truly heard correctly, then Kishou…covered for her? Her brother took upon himself her shame and camouflaged it into something honourable. Of course the CCG would find out about her connection with Uta and of course Kishou would protect her; she was his sister and he would do anything for her. Her mother had made sure to instill in him that level of protection in regards to her. In a job where the possibility of death could turn into reality every day, it was no surprise you would turn to your family more than usual people would. It took great efforts to hold back her tears. Her brother loved her to that extent and she could not even muster the courage to tell him the truth from the beginning. He had to pull it out of her and she had to play the victim in all of this in order to be able to sleep at night.

'I don't deserve your gratitude, Tsuneyoshi-sama,' Saya said, eyes down casted in shame.

'And your modesty is unnecessary,' the old man remarked. 'I will remember your contribution, Arima Saya-san.'

She tried moderating her breaths. Her contribution was in the negative sense and while a small number of people knew about it, she prayed to God Tsuneyoshi-sama would never find out about it. For a second there, she considered confessing everything to the man, hoping this could elevate her in her family's eyes but she was simply too afraid and reckoned it would waste her brother's efforts to keep it concealed.

'However,' Tsuneyoshi Washuu paused, 'I would like you to retire from this supervising position. We have already obtain the information we needed and I do not wish to risk exposure. Do I make myself clear?'

'Yes, Tsuneyoshi-sama,' Saya replied almost immediately, convincing herself that a refusal was not something that man was lenient towards.

'That is all. You have someone waiting for you outside to take you back home,' the CCG leader cut the conversation short, suspicious to see how obedient Arima's sister was. No one was that obedient and while Kishou was known to follow orders impeccably, there was always that dormant yet defying gaze in his eyes that promised more.

'Would it be possible for me to remain here tonight, sir? I won't be able to stay calm at home,' Saya dared to ask him. She was not ready to face her father again. Not before she could hear how the mission had gone.

Tsuneyoshi Washuu did not deliver the response too quickly. He regarded Saya with precision and only after he was satisfied with his examination, did he comply.

'Very well. You can wait in your brother's office.'

Saya thanked him and exited the room. On the way to her brother's office, she informed her escort she would rather wait in one of the unlocked conference rooms she passed by. Somewhat undecided, the CCG trainee conformed to her wishes and allowed her to step inside. Finally alone, Saya took out her phone and called her Father. She had to at least let him know she would not be coming home tonight, there was no need for unnecessary worry. She rang until she reached his voicemail and he still did not pick up. She dialled her house number but the servant who picked up told her father had not arrived home yet. She rang again and again. He always picked up his phone. It seemed that this time, he was really upset with her.

* * *

At one point, Saya had dropped her head on the desk but she hadn't managed to doze off, not even a little. It was impossible for her to sleep. It was actually impossible to live. With herself. She thought hard about how things escalated so quickly and what she could do about it to make it somehow bearable but other thoughts plagued her, such as who would survive after this night and how this operation would change the course of hunting ghouls within the CCG.

She heard voices outside of the conference room. Footsteps were thumping loudly announcing the arrival of troops. Through the half-opened door, Saya could recognize some familiar faces – of investigators that she often saw at social events but none of the closest to her and that was a shock in itself. She forced herself to have courage and exited in the hallway, witnessing the depressed faces of everyone passing through. No one paid her any attention, they were all tired and unsure if they were truly alive or not. She wanted to ask questions but her courage ran short, especially when she saw her brother right in front of her, advancing towards the chairman's office. Her face relaxed a bit, so relieved to see him unharmed. His expression remained in place, halting in front of her. They regarded each other for a few instances until Kishou finally spoke:

'Are you not going to ask me about him?'

Saya smiled bitterly. Even she would not be so insensible as to inquire about that person's wellbeing before that of her own family.

'No. He wasn't there anyways. He wouldn't be. I know that now,' Saya replied, finding it difficult to look her brother in the eyes. 'How are you? Are you alright?'

'I'm fine,' Kishou said, adopting his usual neutral tone.

'The others?' Saya asked looking at the few investigators that made their way in.

'See for yourself,' the answer came. Not bent on offering any additional information, Kishou walked past his sister, leaving her trembling in the middle of the hallway. She would see for herself indeed, Saya convinced herself as she made her way downstairs, to the private hospital CCG had for their employees. She had never seen a hospital in such a frenzy before. Everyone had been mobilized for emergency surgeries, treatments and tests; there were tenths and tenths of trays pushed on the hallways, all carrying injured soldiers, all whimpering in pain. Nurses were running, doctors were escorted to sterilized rooms and spirits were high; so many voices and cries, it was too much for her to handle at once. Saya glued herself to the wall, making room for everyone that was hurrying to save lives. There were people who had lost limbs or had perforated organs; many who were fighting death and suffering and an unknown number of investigators who had died. It was that number that lurked at the back of her conscience, stabbing her heart repeatedly.

No one paid her any mind. It was as if she was invisible, a ghost. She walked freely on the corridors, witnessing loss of such proportions it could scar her for as long as she would breathe. She heard devastating news such as the death of so many CCG members and the disappearance of Amon and Takizawa. She even saw Marude's disheartened face looking at his diminished unit of men as they fought for survival on hospital beds. And in the end, she laid eyes on investigator Shinohara. His eyes were closed and his breathing, artificial. He was connected to a life support machine and administered a substance she recognized as methylphenidate through an IV. Monitors were keeping his heart rate in check and various other sensors were inducing constant cortical stimulation. She gazed inside that room remembering and recognizing so many things she had fought so hard to forget. Her grandfather had persisted in teaching her anything medical-related and despite her refusal, her brain had absorbed all information like a dry sponge. But she had ignored him as time passed by; after all, her mother was her idol and she wanted to grow up dressed in pretty dresses not white lab coats. But at least now she knew what she was looking at. Inspector Shinohara was in a coma and his chances of waking up were minimal. She could not believe it; not long ago they had talked when she finished her shooting practice sessions and now he was …lying there. Two doctors came inside the room and closed the door behind them for privacy issues, Saya again isolated in the hallway.

Another room further down had stopped her in her tracks. His state shouldn't have affected her to that extent but she could not help wrap her arms around her frame at the sight before her. She shivered slightly upon noticing his severed leg and even more prominent dark circles under his eyes. Eyes that usually dug into other people's souls were now soulless. His usually energetic self was currently obedient and his expression was no longer mischievous but simply lost. Tired. Somehow regretful.

'I'm sorry, he's not allowed to receive any visitors yet. He just got out of surgery,' a nurse had appeared in Saya's face.

'Yes, of course,' she said, preparing to take her leave up till she heard Suzuya's voice coming from the bed.

'It's fine.' His voice was weak but his eyes opened more, indicating to the nurse she wanted the young woman there. Not entirely sure, the nurse hesitated before she allowed the two of them to be alone.

'I'm sorry….I didn't bring any flowers…' Saya whispered helplessly.

'You look terrible, Saya-san.'

Saya looked up at Suzuya, bitterly amused. That statement was for her to utter not the other way around.

'Thanks,' the young woman replied. 'You…are missing a leg. I'm sorry.'

'Sorry?' He asked, genuinely confused. 'It's not your fault, Saya-san.'

It wasn't, but she still felt guilty. Guilty at her lack of tact and foolishness for trusting things could never get this worse.

'They say they will replace my leg with a prosthetic and I will be able to participate in missions again. Limbs can be replaced….people can't.'

Saya bit back on her words for she was about to mention how sorry she was for Shinohara but realized that maybe she was not the right person to talk to about his fallen partner. Her impression of Suzuya had changed drastically. If she had not seen him in that state she would have continued to think of him as heartless and cruel, to the point of enjoying other people's suffering but maybe he was indeed just a broken child with no blame and she was the one who despite her healthy childhood, had ended up rotten.

'Yes…' she picked up on his last line. 'Many people lost their lives last night.'

'They did. I almost died too if it wasn't for…' Suzuya stopped himself at the name, unable to hear it from his lips so soon. 'I was scared. I had forgotten how it felt like,' Suzuya whispered like a child confessing to their sins. 'Ne, Saya-san, do you ever feel afraid?'

His question was sincere. No hidden thought behind, just sheer curiosity. He gazed straight at her, as best as he could from his resting position, urging her to give a frank answer as well.

'Almost every day.'

Surprisingly, Suzuya smiled at her. 'Then that means you have many people who love you, Saya-san. I realized it not long ago that true fear is when you are on the verge of losing the people you care about.'

Even someone like Suzuya could understand the meaning behind those words. Even he would be hurt if his loved ones suffered. Even he was able to have an awakening in that regard. He looked so vulnerable and incredibly young that she could not stop herself from walking over to his bed and placing a gentle hand on his head.

'You're going to be alright, Suzuya-san.'

'I know I will,' he said, somewhat surprised to see such reassurance from her part. 'And so will you, Saya-san.'

She wanted to believe that as well. But not until she saw Uta. Not until she could look at him with newfound determination and see for herself the person he really was. Beside her, Suzuya fell asleep again, most likely knocked out by painkillers. Saya quietly pulled out a chair next to his bed, and sat down, listening to the sudden dead silence. Maybe it would whisper to her.

* * *

**A/N:** Another chapter done! Quite quickly if I may add, in comparison to the previous one I mean XD. Anyways, this story is starting to feel so refreshing to me. Maybe because I can finally leave behind the romance part of it and dive into drama muahahahahaa! Ahem, alright, back to the chapter. I wanted this chapter to be an awakening to Saya. Sometimes people only see the pretty parts of life and when they are faced with the ugly ones (in this case, the hospital scene and the collection of lies Uta has constructed around himself), people start realizing that there is a bigger picture out there and true guilt strikes. Let's see where this takes us, shall we? :D

_Also, thank you so much to my reviewers! I know this is not a very good story since not many people review but I am doing it for the ones who still stick by me and take precious time to write a few words of encouragement and critique._

By the way, quick question. If I were to write another fanfiction, which anime would you be interested in? I would like to keep your opinion in mind when I make my choice.

**For my lovely reviewers:**

**Jackie Frost123:** Hello and thank you for reviewing, it means a lot! I know, this is finally starting to spiral down and the tension is rising. I already wrote the main outline of the rest of the chapters in my trusty notebook and now I just have to fill in the colours :D Hope to see you here again!

**lizy2000:** I knoooooow! Too long. Happy to see you here again *wink. Her dad really is overprotective but mainly because he knows who she's dealing with better than anyone. If I were in his place, heck, she would be half-way gone to Germany, no daughter of mine is foolishly wasting her life away. XD But they somehow had matters under control. Take care!^^

**Cyleana:** Your presence here brings me back to my first chapter. I appreciate you being here more than you imagine. I have great respect for people who remain loyal to a story and want to finish what they have started. You guys are my inspiration to continue this story till it reaches its end^^. I mean, you even read it so late and so tired. Thank you. I thought about what you said, about this story having a 'bad ending'. It will have…a different kind of ending. But I'm not changing it because this is what makes sense in my head. I even wrote down the last lines of the chapter and maybe I'll have an epilogue…will see. Still, I know that you will be here at the end supporting me and discussing the details and I'm looking forward to that! Take care :D

**codename00guest:** Ah, no problem, you can go ahead and poke fun at my updating rate J), I really don't mind. Life gets in the way and I end up writing this story really late at night and then I'm sleepy all day long at work. But I have succeeded with another chapter! Kishou does take some of what Saya said into account because what she said is true and he along with the CCG know about it, if you've read the manga, you know exactly what I mean. However, him 'sparing' Kaneki in the manga was not for Saya (in this fanfiction), oh no, but for research purposes. I will make a connection to Tokyo Ghoul:re in the last chapter of my story to smooth things out properly. Well done on the analysis of the Daichi-Uta scene. This was a dangerous and stupid thing for Daichi to do but let's face it, he hoped this could bring his daughter back, no matter the cost. Thank you for stopping by, as always!

**ChaoticDiamond: **Thank you for stopping by. Really. It might not seem a big deal to readers but to a writer, reviews are the main elements that encourages them to write. This reassures us the story is read and we get more motivated to update faster, so thank you! And it seems telepathy works because you decided to come back to the story exactly when I updated so I'm looking forward to seeing you here again :D. I know this story is coming to an end but it was a great journey for me. I will miss writing about the Arimas and talking to the Tokyo Ghoul fandom L

**BlackCatNeko999:** Hi there Neko! Yes, finally things are getting gloom for Saya and she's now living in the real world. I don't think there's a way out for her, she's far too deep and whatever happens in the end, she won't be able to go back to how things were at the beginning. I'm so happy to hear this story is still keeping you interested, may we chat again! :D

**M:** Hey hey! No problem, though I'm not entirely good at advice. Just trust your instincts and read everything again the next day (I hardly do and I should follow my own advice). You can see things clearly after a good night sleep. You need characters that speak to you, they don't need to be forced because characters which you need to embellish at all costs to be interesting are, in fact, not very natural. Thanks for liking this chapter as well. Many readers thought Daichi's decision to confront Uta was stupid but they all want it to go downhill XD. Oh well, I'll have to play it in nicely because I don't want to go into detail about that. You'll see what I mean by the end of this fanfiction…Take care!

**Sysa:** Welcome to my commenting section! Aren't meetings with in-laws always problematic? XD Especially when daddy's involved. And daddy was not very wise this time. Or was he?

**Megohime of Mutsu: **You're back too! Thank you! ;) And I am liking a certain character indeed, so fascinated with him since his transformation was so drastic! I like him more this way, shhh, don't tell anyone. Also, I am IN LOVE with Hanbee Abara, kyaaa! When I saw him, I instantly felt an urge to write about him..just….must contain excitement! And it's very flattering to hear that an OC is not annoying and in fact, likeable enough to be part of the manga universe. Thank you so much! Hope to be together with you guys till the end because this was a great experience and Tokyo Ghoul deserves more love.^^ Talk to you later!

**0kami:** And I missed your comments! :D And you checked every month…aww….thank you. When I read your comment, I just knew I had to update faster this time, it's only fair to all my loyal readers. Thank you for taking the time, especially when you are so tired. I hope work has gotten easier, I know how staff meetings are, but luckily for me, they're not as often in my case since we don't have the time XD. Lots of love to you and your cats! 3

**NecroPriestess:** Hey there! You know, I thought about this scene carefully before I sent Daichi to confront Uta. Daichi gambled on this action of his and while it is stupid, it has a seed of redemption in it. There can only be two options with this, just like you have already mentioned, but I thought about a third and that was the main reason why I even wrote this scene in the first place. I will have some explaining to do but I will try to merge this with the action in the following chapters. Well done on assuming Saya's change of heart. There will be changes and since I plan on writing the last chapter based on Tokyo Ghoul:re, I will show how Saya is affected by the passing of time, as well. We will see her in a new light and that will be a good-enough finale for this story. To me at least. Catch you later? ;)


	18. Feel free to scream

**Chapter 18: Feel free to scream**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul.  
**

* * *

Outsiders would comment the operation was over. However, veteran CCG members knew better than anyone that this was the trigger to other strategies of attack. Results were to be discussed, casualties weighed down and new methods brought into play. It would never be truly over until every last one of ghouls would be eradicated.

Kishou took a seat at the conference table next to surviving colleagues of his and other superiors that were going to discuss the turn of events. His and Yoshitoki's meeting with Chairman Washuu had been brief; they had reported on the events and had been left to deal with the aftermath as a group. Contrary to other operation meetings, spirits were not as high. Everyone seemed to carry a solemn expression on their face, as if avoiding to acknowledge their dead and mourn their loss. They would do it afterwards. For now, there were still so many issues to consider. Such as how this operation could not be evaluated as a complete success. They had known the Owl would make an appearance; they had anticipated two of those wretched birds would join and even so, the CCG destroyed the nest of ghouls in the district but at what price exactly? So many members had been killed or worse, MIA and they did not manage to apprehend the Owl. Neither of the two. And while the opposing force had suffered its share of loss, they were not as decisive as the CCG had wanted it to be.

'For last night's operation we can report a percentage of 99,99 ghoul extermination in the 20th ward. We have exterminated the ghoul café threat and have managed to confirm there are two Owls activating in Tokyo,' Yoshitoki Washuu began the meeting, eyeing each of the present members. Around twelve special investigators were gathered in the conference room and while the number was to be greater in size, some of the lucky ones were still receiving medical treatment.

'And yet, we were unable to suppress that most important one percent,' Kuroiwa spoke, referring to the Owl.

'We're being greedy,' Yoshitoki proclaimed. 'We were prepared to face the Owl, not apprehend it. Let us remember that the main objective of this mission was to defeat the 20th ward Owl, not the One-Eyed King.'

'We at least managed to handicap one of the Owls and injure the Aogiri one thanks to Arima-san,' Marude joined in the discussion, his burrows furred contemplatively. They all knew that if it weren't for Arima, the mission would have taken a different turn. In times like these, it was important to admit to everyone's contribution and while it did hurt Marude's pride to voice it out loud, Arima had been the decisive factor in the Owl's retreat. He had impaled the Owl and had cut off one of its arms-that being more damage in a few minutes than the rest of the CCG members had done in years.

'But we lost Investigator Shinohara in exchange. This was a big blow,' one of the other investigators added. 'If only Centipede hadn't showed up, Arima-san could have arrived earlier and maybe more of us would be sitting at this table.'

'However, we have caught Centipede. There is one less threat in our wards and that should be enough for now,' Yohitoki said.

'It's clearly still not enough,' another man contributed. Matsuri Washuu, son of Yoshitoki Washuu leaned in his chair, fingers positioned in a contemplative pyramid. 'I believe last night was clear proof of our shortcomings and if we continue to blindly charge in these missions without realizing that we need more than just a few veteran investigators then we'll never have a real victory.'

'Oi, Matsuri,' Marude warned, not minding his informal manner of addressing the younger investigator. 'Each and every one of us is risking their life and you're saying it counts nothing?'

'I am saying,' he emphasized, 'that ghouls are evolving, getting stronger and we're stagnating. We need to move forward as well.'

'And what do you suggest?' Yoshitoki asked his son in an attempt to disperse the tension.

'You know very well what I think we should do,' he replied looking in the direction of his father and afterwards at Arima. 'This mission brought a good opportunity to explore how ghouls evolve and what they're capable of. We have the chance to transform our offensive forces. We shouldn't let this opportunity go by.'

Arima pushed his glasses against the bridge of his nose, realizing what Matsuri implied.

'Measures have already been taken and permission was granted by the chairman,' Arima responded and that was all it took for Matsuri to settle for a very mysterious grin as the discussion took another course, everyone choosing to ignore Arima's previous statement. No one else was aware of what exactly the Chairman had to specifically agree to but they understood they were not to speak of it. Not yet, at least.

As the verbal confrontations continued among the members, Arima's thoughts fluttered back to Saya. She did not look well. More importantly, she did not look like herself anymore. Her eyes were pools of regret, confusion…and all the other things Kishou hoped she would never experience. A great part of him wanted to comfort her but his rational side convinced him it was better to leave her to herself. They had made a mistake in raising her, both he and their father – Saya had always been sheltered. She was never alone and she always had people around her to protect her. In return she had been obedient but had not realized that ignorance could hurt her more than anything she could have imagined.

It took immense restraint to keep him away from No Face's studio. Matters would have been easier if he had just decapitated that ghoul from day one but not even Kishou could assume everything would escalate so quickly. He briefly wondered if Saya could come back from this experience unhurt but as he looked at everyone across the room, he understood it was not possible. Saya's biggest challenge would be that of understanding herself and what she really needed to do next. However, when her decision would be made, Kishou would remain there for her. To him, there was nothing more important than his family and his duty as a CCG investigator and if he had to juggle both in other to maintain balance, he would gladly do so. And if his support would not be enough, Kishou hoped that the person who was about to land in Japan soon would do a better job at it than him.

His attention back to the discussion, Kishou tried to push back further thoughts of Saya until the meeting would resume.

* * *

Yomo had tried to warn her but she would not listen. She could not leave just like that. Touka had to see what was left of Anteiku before she could move on.

As soon as they arrived round the corner, Touka understood why Yomo was so adamant to coming here once more; the entire place was a wreck. Touka viewed the remains of the place with a broken heart, inhaling dust and stepping on debris that had been carried even as far as they were posted. A team of construction workers were busy cleaning up the place by carrying away the bits and pieces of the café and securing the area with traffic cones.

Touka looked at the place and couldn't recognize it anymore. This used to be her home. The sanctuary that had made her forget that good things could come to an end and nothing was certain in this world. Anteiku had meant so much to her; it was beyond a protective space, most importantly, it was where the store manager and her precious colleagues worked and where she could find kindness beyond limits. For a short amount of time, it was that utopic place where ghouls could peacefully coexist with humans, no harm done. And now it was all gone, buried under a pile of broken parts.

´It appears that café was ran by ghouls,´ a passer-by told his accompanying friend.

´For real?!´ The shocked reaction came.

´Yeah, if you went in carelessly, you could have been eaten.´

´Scary. Thank God the CCG destroyed the nest,´ the friend continued but the rest of the conversation couldn´t be heard anymore since Touka and Yomo remained in their spots and the respective humans walked away. She pondered on what those humans said, a nostalgic smile crossing her face. This was the last place you could get eaten. No one practiced harsh treatment on humans there. Everyone was reformed and wanted to live a better life. A life where they wouldn't have to hurt people anymore and simply ensure their survival. But they couldn't have known that. The kind store manager had become a monster when his true identity had been revealed. Every ghoul in that café had lost their right to defend themselves.

Even Kaneki. _Stupid Kaneki Ken_, Touka added.

She had made it obvious she disliked him at first but at the same time, she could not let him be. He had been so weak and so kind, it made her angry. Angry because humans like Kaneki were so innocent; there was nothing evil about them and therefore it made it so incredibly hard to hate and hurt them. Little by little, Touka had gotten so attached to him it had become impossible to live without him at her side, both working at Anteiku and finding their role in life as a ghouls. She had felt betrayed when he left Anteiku. It felt as if he had betrayed her as well. She could not understand him nor the choices he made and had been afraid of the person he had become. And afterwards, she had resented him for not being a coward anymore and going to the store manager's help and getting himself killed in the end. If only she could have reached out to him and changed his mind. If he had listened to her, they could have both left and would be both alive today.

´Let's go, Touka,´ Yomo told her, lost in contemplation, himself mournful over the entire situation.

Touka looked around at the passing people, hoping, praying she could see _him_ one more time but she could not find him in the crowd.

´He got lost going back to Anteiku,´ Touka shared fragments of her thoughts. ´That's why he lost his place of return.´

´I tried to stop him,´ Yomo told her. ´But he was set on helping. You know how he is. When he believes something is wrong, not even his own past self can stop him from doing what he wants.´

´He really is so stupid…´

´He is,´ Yomo agreed with affection.

Touka pulled her hoodie over her face, trying to conceal her tears.

´But I,´ she said,´I have faith in him. I know that he will return to Anteiku.´

Yomo looked down at Touka, deeply touched by her words. She believed he was still alive, despite everything. Maybe that was her way of coping. Maybe it was for the best. And maybe Yomo believed it too. He had been the one to train Kaneki and had seen for himself the tenacity that boy had in moments when he thought he could not stand up anymore but would prove him the opposite. For them, Kaneki Ken could never die. Anteiku could be rebuilt elsewhere. And perhaps, one day, they would all reunite for a good cup of coffee.

* * *

Unlike the sombre atmosphere reigning in the entire city, Uta's studio was in a celebratory mood. The Clowns had gathered for a feast, finishing the last remains of the humans they had hunted down for their victory.

´So what happened to Kaneki in the end? Did he die trying to save the shop manager?´ Roma asked, shoving one last piece of meat in her mouth.

´According to my information,´ Itori revealed, taking a clumsy sip from her glass of blood, ´the objective of the CCG is now total annihilation. It seems like there are no longer any prisoners in Cochlea.´

´Hmm….how boring! That he'd meet his end that way, that is…´ Roma hadn't managed to finish her sentence that Souta began tickling her, his mask still on.

´Roma, you like Kaneki right?´ Souta asked her, his fingers busy teasing her waist.

´I like Kaneki as well,´ Nico stated in between Roma's laughs, speaking again only when she was allowed to take a breath.

´I do but I want to see a much more depressing scene.´

´Nowadays, tragedies aren't popular,´ Uta finally joined in the discussion, playing with one eyeball in between his fingers until he finally decided to give it a taste. ´Why don't we have more fun?´ He encouraged his group of clowns, taking his own mask in his hands.

´No point in living…´

´…if things aren't interesting,´ Souta finished Roma's sentence.

´I'm growing a beard,´ Nico randomly said scratching his chin.

´The ones who get the last laugh…,´ Itori initiated.

´…are us the Pierrot!´ everyone chanted in unity.

In that orchestra of laughs, Uta heard her approach. He was the first one to sense her and when she got close enough, everyone´s voices faded into silence. Her steps were disciplined and light and the hand that opened the door to the studio-steady. Saya had stepped inside, not particularly shocked to see Uta have company.

They all took in her presence, Nico and Souta finally seeing her up-close. They concluded she was indeed a beautiful human. First-class. High-quality. A shame to kill but a sin not to. Just like her brother, Arima Kishou. She briefly regarded them for a fraction of second before she settled her gaze on Uta.

´They should all leave,´ Saya instructed, no longer surprised at her unexpected surge of bravery. They all stared at her for a few seconds wondering if they had heard her correctly. She did not budge and her glare did not waver therefore all was as she had commanded. Itori scoffed checking Uta's face for any sign of complicity but there was none. No one could get away with ordering them around adopting that kind of attitude but it seemed Uta allowed her that privilege despite his rotten reasoning in regards to everything else. It was in moments like these that Itori questioned Uta's true motives.

In response, Uta nodded to Saya's request, all clowns standing up without complaint. Itori frowned as if still not convinced but had to comply as well when Uta turned his head at her, stalking her expectantly. In the end, she also rose and joined her comrades, unable to resist shooting a death glare in Saya's direction as she made her way out.

´Saya,´ Uta greeted standing up from his armchair and walking over to her, hand extended to cup her face gently. His fingers did not reach her cheek because her own hand had latched onto his wrist to stop his action mid-way in the air. Tactfully, she dragged down his arm, her eyes never leaving his.

´There was an attack on Anteiku last night. You weren't there,´ Saya said.

Her fingers had released Uta, only then realizing how cold her skin was. Uta had not said anything. He expected her to come to the studio after finding out about the operation but under different reasons. He imagined she would arrive looking for comfort, not answers. In fact, Uta thought she would feel relieved knowing he had not been present. He wondered what had prompted her change in character for he had never seen her in that light.

´Why weren't you there?´ Saya asked the lingering unspoken question and it was then that Uta realized that something crucial had changed. It was as if he was not looking at that same clueless girl who hung on to his every word. Uta unconsciously leaned back in defence realizing he was gazing at an authentic Arima. Her eyes were the same as that of her father and that of her brother; resolute, clear and in control. Since the first moment he found out about her identity, Uta had never associated her with anything worthy of caution; she was simply a part of that family of investigators, never a danger herself and yet, in such a short amount of time she had proven how strongly blood spoke. That was why Uta found humans to be so fascinating; you could never see this in a family of ghouls but with humans, their kin was what represented them the most. In human families, when the right moment came, every member resembled each other in spirit, much as if each was a different flesh version of the same person. How could he miss it? How could he have failed to see that despite how well he had her wrapped around his little finger, she could not deny her true nature just as he could not deny his?

´It's slightly complicated,´ Uta told her, overwhelmed by a new-found feeling of wanting to kill her and protect her at the same time. There was nothing intimidating about her but his senses tingled.

´Is it?´ she asked. ´I don't think it's complicated at all. As their friend, you were supposed to flee to their help but you didn't. You chose to remain here…with your Clowns,´ Saya accused, signalling to Uta that she had higher knowledge than before. ´If the situation had been reversed, everyone from Anteiku would have come to help so why didn't you?´ Saya demanded.

They regarded each other in silence for a few moments, neither prepared to speak again. Saya knew the answer would not come but she also could not allow her turmoil to run out on her.

´Oh, I'm sorry, I'm stupidly assuming things, aren't I? They're not your friends, are they? They're just your …playthings to move around as you please and vapidly laugh at when they break in tiny pieces with the rest of your group,´ Saya continued, sensing her tone rising in intensity along with her frustration.

´What is this all about?´ Uta calmly asked, himself unable to keep quiet and not appreciating her assertive tone.

´I know about you. I know everything,´ she admitted, a bit disappointed to see his face still impassive even after such a confession. ´I know how you trick and deceive everyone together with your Clowns. I know you had a part in last night's Anteiku annihilation and that you are also involved with Aogiri Tree. Imagine my surprise when I read the files on your latest victims while I childishly thought you had stopped hunting humans just for me. I couldn't believe how many people you've hurt and continue to do so as if you're above everyone else. As if you're entitled to toy with people's lives at the cost of destroying identities and wrecking this world even more than you already have. How could you allow them to do that to Kaneki? How could you do so many horrible things? How could you…how could you lie to me?´

´I wasn't particularly trying to hide anything,´ Uta replied nonchalantly while internally hypnotized by her outburst. Who knew humans could be riled up so easily? He could intuit what her verbal flare was building up to but he could not convince himself to do anything about it. It was the first time they were both truthful in front of each other. They could both be their real selves and admit they were opposites and that nothing could be more important than that moment when Saya was about to claw at his skin till reaching flesh and bones and maybe pull out what he truly felt for her.

´How dare you!? How dare you say that to me?!´ She screamed in his face, her arms flailing in disgust.

´I could ask you the same question, Saya. Have you been in any danger with me? You yourself know that if it were you there at Anteiku last night, I would have come for you.´

´Yes,´ she laughed bitterly, ´but just to suit your dirty intentions. Because I was simply another mari0nette for you to handle at will. Tell me….did you enjoy it? Using me like you did? Playing with my heart in such manner? Did you laugh at me in your head? Did you?´ Saya expelled the words, her voice chocking in her throat, reaching her limits. Her skin crawled, refusing to be defeated by her emotions but her entire body shook with shivers of doubt.

´You should sit down,´ Uta advised, sensing her weakened sense and ignoring her questions.

´I don't want to sit down.´

´Then what do you want?´ The ghoul asked, visibly interested. Saya felt she was being mocked, even under these circumstances. She was the only one being affected, as always, just a hysterical, exaggerating damsel.

_I don't want this to end_, she only whispered it in her head. _I want you to tell me you care about me_, she lied to herself. What good would it do? This was over. Even if he did love her, she could never go back to those times. She could never love him in the same way. She could never live with herself.

´I loved you. Maybe I still do…´She felt she could run into his arms at any time, leaving behind everything but her humanity pulled her back, stronger and fiercer. Saya had went there in the hopes of finding something other than answers; she had wanted to see Uta defend himself and promise her that everything was a fabrication and that the only thing she should trust was his love for her but there was nothing of that sort present. He didn't deny anything; on the contrary, he had accepted her words, levelling her with that gaze of his that proved she was the one at fault for not seeing how matters were right from the beginning.

_Who is this person? Just what are you?_ Saya asked him in her head, no energy left to actually voice out the questions. She wondered how a few days ago she could feel so comfortable around that inhuman creature who continued to look at her as if she was unreasonably hysterical. But maybe that was how she really was; she was losing her mind after all.

He disregarded her wish and turned away from her to go pull up a chair and Saya lowered her head, eyes searching for solutions on the cold floor. And her solution came. Her gaze had reached under Uta's desk in a box of discarded masks where she discovered a familiar small and shiny object. In a trance, she walked over and bent down to retrieve the object. As she rose to her feet again, her strength was replenished in rations of dread.

´My Father was here, wasn't he?´ Uta heard Saya ask in a conflicted tone. He whirled slowly to find her staring at Daichi Arima's gun he had discarded earlier.

´Yes,´ the ghoul admitted, finding no reason to conceal the truth.

Saya flinched at his honesty, her fingers running over her father's initials carved into the RC annihilation gun.

´What did you do to him? Did you hurt him?´ Saya demanded, sensing her voice extinguishing in her throat.

´I did nothing of that sort,´ Uta replied, understanding matters could go in an undesirable direction.

´You're lying,´ Saya decided. ´My Father would never leave this behind. What did you do to him?´ she repeated.

´Nothing. Your father came here to have a civilized discussion and in order to achieve that, he disarmed himself.´

´I don't believe it. I don't believe anything you say,´ Saya said, pointing the gun at him in desperation, fighting off her tears as best as she could. Here she was, almost weak enough to crumble at his feet and he had most certainly hurt her father. She did not want to think of anything worse that could have happened to Daichi. She couldn't. But she could do the right thing for once.

´There is no reason for me to lie. Put the gun away.´

´No,´ she told him. ´I won't,´ Saya confirmed and steadied her grip on the gun despite her increasing trembling. How ironic everything had become; in the past, when she had shooting practice, she used to tremble at the thought of something like that hurting Uta but now, she trembled because of how much she wanted to hurt him. If he could go as far as being a threat to her family, what more could hold her back?

´Where is he?´ Saya asked, thinking he might still be there in his studio, waiting for help. She looked around the place suspiciously, searching for something that might point out her father's location. It was her fault he had come here. If only she had listened to her family's teachings, she would never have ended in this situation. She had driven her father to do such a foolish act as that of walking into a ghoul's territory and had plausibly suffered the consequences.

´He's not here,´ Uta continued to deny the implied accusations, watching her intently. Even though he knew she would not shoot, the sight of that particular gun still held him on edge on an instinctive level. And even if her entire body was shaking, her hands were steady, with a mind of their own. Much like her body knew exactly what to do and it slightly agitated him. If by who knows what occurrence Saya were to shoot, how would he handle it? If it were any other human he would end it quickly going for the throat but she was a different case altogether; he secretly wanted to pin her down and let her struggle under him until he could decide what to do with her.

´Liar…´ Saya whispered despite already realizing her father was not there. Uta was smarter than that, at least that she knew about him. No matter what she did, she could not pull the answer out of him but she felt incomplete leaving with no resolution.

When did things deteriorate so quickly? Why did she forget they were two different existences? She used to think she was a bright girl, at least that was what everyone around her said. Her own grandfather had told her when she was younger that she would do great things in the future but apparently, he hadn't foreseen this type of deviation from her course of greatness. Saya had thought that this relationship, as difficult as it was, would greet obstacles from the outside, not the inside. She had never thought her real enemy was the one standing in front of her. Not him. Never him.

The gun suddenly felt better in her hands as she remembered Amon's teachings during their practice together, his precise words ringing in her ears:

_´To make sure you kill a ghoul with this type of gun Arima-san, you need three bullets to distribute wisely: One for the kagune.´_

_So that he won't be able to hurt me_, Saya now added mentally, her gun wavering at Uta's torso area.

_´One for the heart´_, Amon continued in her mind.

_So that he will have nothing to associate his false love with._

_´And one for the head.´_

_So that he will no longer remember I was present in his life. Or maybe that bullet should go to my head?_ Saya wondered, gun now positioned at his face.

´Did you at least like me a bit?´ Saya found herself asking him, the words leaving her lips with no remorse.

He parted his mouth to deliver an answer and Saya realized that it was too late anyways. There was nothing left that he could say and make this better. She no longer wished for him to whisper his poison. And so she pulled the trigger.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, that's quite the cliff-hanger, huh? XD Oh, I dreamed about writing this scene, I can't believe I finished it! It feels a bit bitter-sweet to be honest. At one point, I actually believed in this couple but that is because we all saw things from Saya's point of view. It would have been interesting to see more of Uta's point of view but that would have ruined the plot and there's no fun if we know everything from the start, right? D

Thank you for the fanfiction suggestions, they're very interesting but man….they're even more dramatic than Tokyo Ghoul. Attack on Titan is already too much for me XDXD. Do you want me to torture you guys with sadness? Is that it?

On to my lovely reviewers who take precious time to drop me a line and make sure I am not forgotten. Thank you. Truly.

**lizy2000:** Hello lizy, thank you for the review! I'm so happy you're supporting the Saya-Suzu relationship because it will grow in the future due to their common loss and suffering. I actually had it planned from the beginning which is why I had Suzu interact with Saya so much so look forward to that, I have a special place for him in Saya's heart ;) And I hope you had your full of Uta in this chapter. XD

**NecroPriestess:** My mission is done! I wished to make Saya's turmoil transpire through the screen so kudos to you for picking up on it! You're right, she will be deeply affected by this entire turn of situation and I had to make her meet with Uta as soon as possible while also keeping it in the manga timeline. The bitterness is coming and it will be shown in the Epilogue I have planned for this story. See you next time, my Priestess!

**CharitinaX:** Aww, thank you so much for that wonderful review. It means a lot to know that my story can make Tokyo Ghoul easier to enjoy, thank you! I hope this chapter continues to be of interest to you and may we talk again, it's always a pleasure to meet my reviewers! J

**M:** Thank you for the encouragement, M! I'm sure that it's very tedious for readers to post a review, it takes time and some are even shy to say something but as long as I still have even one person reading and reviewing, I can go on writing. Thank you for considering my fanfiction the best, it's a wonderful compliment but I assure you, if you browse around, you'll find even better creations, the world has blessed so many people with writing talent. As for the ending of the fanfiction, I have it planned right from the beginning and it still hasn't changed. I'm actually looking forward to it because I can redeem Saya a little and have things fall into place as they are currently in the manga. At this point, Saya can no longer go back to Uta, especially after this chapter but I believe the ending I have planned will be satisfactory. As for Deadman Wonderland, I have only watched the anime so I guess I have to read the manga and refresh my memory but I do remember it was extremely sad and hard to grasp. That's a tough one. (As you can see, I'm completely ignoring Attack on Titan here XD). Take care and see you next time! ;)

**ChaoticDiamond:** So I'm taking this as a yes, you do want another fanfic from me? XD I used to watch a lot more anime two years ago but recently everything is harem and I'm just not…into that as much as others are :/ For now, I am watching ´Sakamoto desu ga?´, ´Bungou Stray Dogs' and reading ´Noblesse´. I need more time :))

**sherlaylay:** So glad to see you here again! Thank you! I know you feel for Saya, I think you are one of the reviewers who like her a lot and actually want her to be happy so that makes me happy too. I can't give her that happy ending because she was supposed to be a puppet for a very long time L but I am constructing this in such a way that there will be something good to come out of this as well. I hope this chapter made you understand the Uta of this story better. Talk to you next time, my dear!

**codename00guest:** And THANK YOU for appreciating that Saya has a naïve side and is stupid when in love. I think it's important to give a realistic aspect to every story, that's why I emphasized her weaknesses and made her remember who she is actually in love with. I've read a few fanfictions myself and this fact is always overlooked or worse, romanticized. There is nothing romantic or noble or even forgiving about eating humans the way Uta does it (excluding the Anteiku bunch that has my respect and sympathies). Also, you have my thanks for liking that part of Arima. I have not read much of Tokyo Ghoul:re in order not to get distracted but I have discovered that Arima is exactly how I imagined him. His relationship with Haise is endearing and there are so many parts of Arima that are human and that can be explored. It makes the Arima in my fanfiction so much more believable and likeable since many people found him to be so heartless at the beginning in the anime/manga and did not find my rendition of him very accurate. Of course, I will never truly grasp his character as well as his true creator but I am glad he was given a softer side as well. He's not a robot, after all. Take care and hope to debate this chapter as well with you! ;)

**Megohime of Mutsu:** :)) I actually thought of making them run away together but…that is not very realistic, as you have already pointed out. They are both very…rooted in their identities so it's not easy for them to throw everything away even if it is for the sake of love, especially since their ´love´ is different from both their perspective. And the CCG experiments are coming, Tokyo Ghoul: re manga shows plenty of that and I shall explore them as well a bit in the upcoming chapters. I am sorry that I can´t give you your wanted ending but I promise, it's not as bleak as everyone imagines it to be. I dare say you're going to like it? Though the way this recent chapter ended…well…*cough. Stay well and let´s see where the next chapter brings us, shall we? Love! :*

**Cyleana:** Uhh! Drawing?! I would love it if you could make a drawing related to this fanfiction, it would be an honour! You're right, everything is out and Saya can no longer pretend she does not know. She also finally decided what she wanted to do and the confrontation with Uta had to happen. Thank you again for believing Saya's reactions and seeing her as a human/character with flaws, I tend to overthink how she should react. It's hard for me to put myself in her shoes because if I were to be part of Tokyo Ghoul, I would stay away from all that and I would actually be the cleaning lady in the CCG chairman´s office, you know, safest place in Tokyo XD. So yes, sometimes, I write her and I´m like….´Woman…you´re craaaaazy.´ But glad to see I´m still doing a decent job, thank you so much. And Arima is a sweetheart, he does love his sister after all and he's always watching out for her. Scratch the cleaning lady part, I´m going for Arima! XD. See you again and ganbatte for your drawing!

**BlackCatNeko999: **I know, I live for drama! That came out a bit wrong but you get my point. XD The hospital scene destroyed me too. I wanted to make it simple and heart-felt and consolidate the relationship between Saya and Suzuya. I hope the confrontation scene between Saya and Uta was acceptable, I can´t wait to hear your thoughts so let me know. Until next time take care!

** .73:** Hello hello! I´m glad you enjoyed the tension, the Washuu family is really intimidating. I mean, I bet the Chairman can finish off ghouls with his icy glare O.o As for Arima covering for Saya, it was the right thing to do. Family has to take care of each member, it's one of the few truths I believe in in this life. Sorry the story is moving fast but I did not want to dwell on events that were already presented in the anime and had nothing to do with Saya, it would have been a bit pushy. And yes, well done on your Saya-Suzu assumption, I´m taking their connection in that direction for various reasons. Talk to you again!

**0kami:** Don´t worry about being late, dear. What's important is that you're here supporting this story and for that I thank you. Hope the drama aspect of this chapter was right on the spot for you :D Sometimes, a happy ending is not what's most important but an awakening, maybe? I really like Uta as a character despite being such a bastard but I can´t see him living happily ever after with someone even if that someone is Saya. I thought about how he would react to her if Saya really did exist in the Tokyo Ghoul universe and I think he would treat her more or less in the same way. Oh well. Haikyuu is really awesome, I would write a fanfiction about the Dai Oo-sama! XD Greetings to your lovely Aimi and Kiba as well! ^^ Meow.

**jymmie00:** Hello there, nice to meet you! Thank you for finding this story and reviewing, I am really grateful. Uta is also one of my favourite characters, he's just irresistible to me. Hope to see you here again and sorry for not being able to update sooner! J

**weeboread:** Hahaha, don't worry, I´m not into Saya either. But I´d take her over any other over-powered female character that is out there any day. I wanted someone that is Uta´s opposite so I went with this type of character instead but it's perfectly fine if you don´t like her that much and you are more invested in the story instead. Thank you for your sincere review and for taking the time, really. It's great praise to hear that my writing pulls you in and makes you forget that this is just a story. Also, I am glad you appreciate the love scene, that is exactly what I wanted for them-something that suits them and does not tarnish their image with a new light. As for Juuzou, thank you! I like Suzuya so much I really try not to distort his character that severely so your words are much appreciated. I hope this chapter is also to your liking, make sure to drop me a line again! 3

** :** Hello, so nice to meet you! And yay for drama! I´m a bit sad the romance part ended though, it was fun exploring it but my main goal was of reaching these chapters. Some characters need their development and it was finally Saya´s turn. Take care and see you!^^


	19. Leave me dead but wake me up

**Chapter 19: Leave me dead but wake me up**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Ghoul**

* * *

**Warning: This chapter has spoilers from the Tokyo Ghoul:re manga! Read at your own risk!**

* * *

Saya's bullet missed his head and they both knew it was on purpose. Shooting a moving target continued to impose some difficulty on her but when it involved an immobile mark, her aim had become impeccable by the end of her lessons. Uta had not moved, trusting she would most certainly not pull the trigger and yet she did and yet he had remained unharmed.

In fact, Saya had not missed at all. She had shot someone else instead. Someone who was staring back at her behind Uta's shoulder. Only when she raised her gun to his head level did she see her own self reflected in the well-positioned mirror behind him. For a moment there, she thought she would never discharge the gun however, the image looking back at her from that mirror disgusted her to her very core. Saya had never seen herself looking like that; she was a sad mixture of desperation and mindless fragility. Only yesterday morning she smiled and laughed but looking at this face now, she doubted she could still remember how to do it anymore. Such doleful and insecure eyes; she had been reduced to nothing by that man and while she knew he deserved to be shot for it, she decided the one in the mirror deserved it even more. Saya couldn't stand seeing herself like this, it was as if her entire mistake was blooming on her visage captured in that forsaken mirror, which was why she shot the image right in the centre of the forehead, setting it free. The image had distorted into tenths of cracks, some fragments of mirror falling to the ground. Saya's face was unrecognizable, only parts of hair, skin and eyes being visible in the vortex of reflective glass. That was a faithful rendition of how she was feeling inside; broken and no longer like her past self. It felt good. As if she had pulled the plug on her dying self, acknowledging her own end.

Uta's eyes widened at the impact, looking back to see what the gun had actually hit. It was rare for her to see him perturbed but she had managed to finally show him she could be unpredictable just as well as he was. Amidst the silent chaos, she found motivation to speak:

'I may not be able to shoot you,' Saya said as she lowered her arms, 'but I am sure you're aware I have plenty of people who would do it for me. I trust you will keep that in mind the moment you dare try to approach me again.'

Uta turned to her again, eyes downcast in what she would identify as sadness in the past but now were highly proof of indifference. He understood this was over and it was probably his regret that her stupidity had not extended any further. That had to be it, she would never allow herself to be fooled once again.

'I'm leaving the studio and it goes without saying that I will not return. I will exit this place for good and I will have the courage to turn my back to you as I do so because I know you will not hurt me,' Saya revealed, placing her father's gun into her small purse. 'Not because you care about me as I used to think, but because it's beneficial to you for me to stay alive for now, that much I understood from the CCG explanatory files that I have read.'

All this time, Uta had not uttered a word. He had listened patiently and had raised his eyes to look at her gradually as she spoke. He took in all her details; her fair skin, the dark circles under her eyes which accentuated them even more, her icy tone and aristocratic-like posture. To Saya he resembled someone who was taking a last good look at a departing lover and it almost shook her again.

'I shouldn't have come here the first time. Actually, I should have never returned,' the young woman began. 'This is my fault as well and I resent myself for it. I did this to myself. I asked for it knowingly. And now I am paying for it,' she continued. 'I resent you too for what you are but I can't blame you entirely. You're a horrible existence and you have made me forgive you and accept you when there was nothing to even consider accepting and for that I shall repent for as long as it takes. And one day, hopefully, I will look back at this like on a rite of passage and while nothing good could ever come out of it, I expect to have become a better human being because of it.'

As she finished speaking, Saya did as she said and walked away from Uta. He had not chased after her nor called after her. In fact, he had not even moved. In a way she was grateful to him for that; she needed nothing to taint her determination. But in another way, it burned her on the inside. This was over. No more hearing his voice, no more feeling his touch, no more corrupting her with his lies. She was free but shattered, just like the mirror.

* * *

'Sir, do we have permission to enter the premises? Please confirm,' a female voice transpired through Arima Kishou's communication device.

'Hold your positions,' Arima instructed.

'But Sir, a gunshot was distinctively heard. At this rate, your sister could be in danger!'

'Matsumoto,' Arima said simply and that was all it took for Matsumoto to realize she had crossed her boundaries.

'I understand. We're holding our positions, Arima-san', the young woman affirmed as she signalled to her squad of CCG investigators to remain in their places. Matsumoto was on edge, ever since Arima Kishou put her - still a trainee- in charge of an experienced CCG battle force to back her up should there be any danger surrounding Arima Saya. Apparently, she had gone alone in No Face's studio and it was Matsumoto's duty to make sure she would come out alive. The young woman frowned, leaning over the monitors inside the CCG truck to see if there was any suspicious movement but there was none. Frustration started to get the best out of Matsumoto as she understood there was not much she could do; they were posted outside but they could hear nothing and see nothing from the inside. All they could do was charge in if the situation became dangerous but even then it might have not been enough, not to mention seconds ago they heard a gunshot and they were not allowed to move. What was Arima-san thinking? And what was his sister thinking, going into such a dangerous place? Maybe Matsumoto did not know Saya very well. Maybe she was part of the CCG world after all and acting as a secret investigator. She shook her head in disbelief, not trusting that woman could have fooled everyone so well. In the end, Arima-san would tell her the truth if he considered it necessary but for now, Matsumoto would focus on her mission.

In contrast, Kishou was not as alarmed as Matsumoto due to the fact that he could perfectly hear the discussion between Say and Uta through his ear piece. It had been a wise choice of his to bug Saya's phone in the short amount of time he had it in his possession; as well as he knew his sister, it was difficult to intuit what she would do under these extreme circumstances. She would be angry at him for listening on this private conversation, he knew that very well but there was no other choice to protect someone as stubborn as her but from within the shadows. Unconsciously, his heart skipped a beat when he heard the gunshot and while he was sure she did not shoot him, he only felt at ease when he heard her voice again.

She had been so brave. Braver than any of them. And it pained him that she had to go through with this and sacrifice this false happiness for her own forgiveness.

A sudden hum of the wind obstructed his hearing and it was then that Kishou understood she was finally outside and it was now alright for him to turn off his ear piece. In his other ear, Matsumoto's voice rang with confidence:

'Arima-san, she is outside at the moment, safe and sound. Awaiting your orders.'

'Retreat. You've done well,' Kishou said simply and turned off the other communication device.

'Operation over. We're retreating,' Matsumoto announced the news to her team, internally proud because of Arima's short praise. She looked at everyone gathering their things and relaxing their posture and felt she could finally graduate from her trainee status. It had been tough at first, she even expected jabs at her inexperience but everyone conducted themselves with professionalism and whether it was because that was who they were or because they could risk a confrontation with No Face, Matsumoto was nevertheless thankful. She had completed her first unofficial CCG mission successfully. She took one last look at Saya's silhouette entering a taxi and gave the signal to their driver to start the engine as well.

As Matsumoto took a seat next to the driver and the taxi carrying Saya drove past them, Matsumoto could not help catching a glimpse of Saya in the back seat of the car. The operation was over, yes, but there was still the issue of the gunshot. What had happened inside there, Matsumoto could not reason and while it was improbable that Arima's sister could have killed or hurt someone as notorious as No Face, the expression on Saya's face proved that indeed, someone had died.

* * *

Suzuya woke up to find the other Arima watching over him. He prompted himself up with the help of Kishou as best as he could and smiled in greeting. But then, he remembered how unsightly his performance in the mission had been and erased that instinctive smile off his lips as quickly as possible.

'You took the time to visit me, Arima-san. That's very kind of you.'

'How are you feeling?' Arima asked.

'I'm alright. I'm still alive,' the younger male replied. 'I wonder….if that's a good thing.'

He was still young, Arima concluded. Still so very inexperienced and confused about human relations and he could understand it somehow. He had started this job at a young age as well and had never known how to interact with people properly either but somewhere along the way, he chided himself to learn. It was the human element that made him still attached to the Arima name and to his family.

'If it weren't, someone else wouldn't have taken your place,' Arima Kishou told Suzuya, the boy's eyes clouding with tears, understanding what he meant.

'I want to see Shinohara-san…'

'You will,' Arima reassured him. 'As soon as you're able to get out of this bed, I will make the necessary arrangements.'

'Thank you,' Suzuya offered his gratitude.

Right after, nurses stepped into the room and Kishou had to usher himself out for privacy reasons. In the corridor, Kishou found Saya waiting.

She only raised her head to look at him when he voiced out her name. She looked different. Exhausted and dead on the inside. It made Kishou tired as well.

'I went to see him,' Saya told him, her tone implying who she was talking about.

Kishou sighed, despite already knowing what she did. It felt even more dangerous coming out from her lips.

'You foolish girl,' he accused her gently.

'I had to!' Saya replied in defence. 'He's a liar and a murderer and he …he broke me,' she concluded miserably, her trembling tone matching her regret. 'I wanted to hurt him too but I couldn't do it. I couldn't do a thing…I'm still so pathetic and useless that it hurts just to breathe. I don't know what to do…' the young woman trailed off conflicted, her eyes pouring into Kishou's for answers.

'You know what to do,' Kishou encouraged her. 'Don't think about him anymore. Try to erase his existence from your life little by little and never do something as stupid as you did today. You can't kill him Saya and no one expects you to. I don't expect you to, do you hear me?'

She shook her head slowly, eyes tearing up.

'But Kishou, I think he hurt Father. I found his gun there, you know, the one he always keeps with him. I know he did something to him, he wouldn't have let him go just like that and he's not picking up his phone. I kept calling and calling and Father is not answering…'

'Listen to me,' Kishou told her, his hands grabbing her shoulders securely, 'Father is alright.'

'How could you be so sure?' Saya asked, not yet quick to be contaminated by his confidence.

'Because I know Father, and so do you. He's not one to be defeated so easily. He's alive and alright and he's going to return to us when he will be ready.'

'This is my fault too,' Saya whispered, sensing her knees weaken by the second. 'Will you ever forgive me, Kishou? Please say you will,' she pleaded, her body already leaning into his arms, searching for an embrace.

'There is nothing to forgive,' Kishou told her, allowing her to encircle her arms around his frame and cry to her heart's content. It had been so long since Saya had willingly stuck to him in that manner. When they were children, that was a common occurrence but as she matured, she began keeping her distance, behaving more and more like a lady but as he hugged her back affectionately, Kishou felt as if they had gone back to those days.

'Saya,' Kishou said, his hand now placed warmly on her head, 'you are my family. I will never push you away and I will always protect you. Even if one day I won't be here anymore, I will not leave you alone. I will make sure to surround you only with people who care about you and who will protect you the same way I would.'

'Stop talking as if you're dying,' Saya scolded him between subdued weeps.

'You're right, we're already sad enough,' he agreed, noticing an approaching Matsumoto from the corner of his eye.

'Arima-san, Rosenberg-san is requesting your presence,' she said, visibly surprised to see Saya with red eyes, searching comfort in her brother's arms.

'Thank you. We will be there shortly,' Kishou agreed, sensing Saya's frame tensing up.

'Grandfather is here?' She asked Kishou, rubbing her eyes.

'Yes. Let's go see him, shall we?'

* * *

´There she is, my beautiful granddaughter,´ a voice greeted them just as soon as Saya and Kishou entered one of CCG's main laboratories.

Karl Rosenberg came waltzing right into view, his long limbs drawing his granddaughter into a tight embrace. Saya returned the hug, grateful to see another member of her family in the midst of all that chaos. Her grandfather looked just as she remembered him; tall, always in a good mood and looking far too young for his age. He truly was a remarkable man, an eminence in his field of work and a well-acclaimed researcher in ghoul genetics. Saya sometimes forgot how important he was and what a great pillar of support for humanity he represented. It made her feel so proud and yet so pressured.

´Grandfather, it's so nice to see you. What are you doing here?´

´Grandfather was invited over by the CCG,´ Kishou replied in Rosenberg's place.

´More like courteously begged to come,´ the old man laughed with tinges of mockery. ´But I'm not really surprised. The CCG always hurries to contact the German Institute as soon as they need something or encounter problems they can't handle well.´

´I don't understand,´ Saya admitted, drawing back from the man's embrace. 'Why did they call you over?´

´Oh, you'll see,´ Rosenberg smiled in conspiracy. ´Now go disinfect your hands and put on a lab coat. Go now. Quickly!' He ordered, sensing Saya's hesitation. Saya frowned, not sure why he needed her to assist him with anything when the lab had so much staff at his disposal. However, not wanting to argue with her grandfather, Saya did as she was told and went to procure her lab coat. In the meantime, Rosenberg walked over to a covered tray, Kishou following closely by.

´I shouldn´t have left Saya with all of you in Tokyo. I should have kept her with me at the institute. That girl has talent, I've seen it in her from a very young age,´ Rosenberg told Kishou, sounding somewhat regretful.

´Adelissa insisted,´ Kishou reminded him.

´Yes,´ he agreed, ´she insisted on many things. Adopting you into the family being one of them.´

Kishou's eyes rose, meeting the stern ones of Rosenberg.

´I believe it didn't turn out to be such a poor decision,´ the young investigator said.

´I wouldn't have allowed it otherwise. I am the one who made you and took you out of the Garden. If you were to turn out a menace, I would have terminated you immediately,´ Rosenberg assured Kishou.

´Of course,´ the other agreed, making sure to prove he understood his position, even after all these years.

´It was a gamble taking you in and assimilating you into my family but it was for the better, I have to admit. You did as you were told and hopefully you'll continue to do so for as long as you have left. I've seen your medical charts and there's nothing to worry about at the moment. But soon…there will be nothing I can do.´

´I am aware.´ Kishou's health was degrading and his eyesight already started to deteriorate but there were still many things left to accomplish. He had lived a good life up till then and had had the opportunity to grow up in a family environment and for that, he had to thank Adelissa. He remembered the day he saw Doctor Rosenberg on a visit in the Sunlit Garden accompanied by a beautiful blonde woman. At one point, the woman kneeled down to him and told Rosenberg she wanted to take that boy home and somehow, her wish had been granted. He remembered being brought back to their house, meeting Daichi and a three year-old Saya and being told that this was going to be his family from then on. Adelissa had then placed her hands on both of his cheeks and had told him:

´Kishou, this will be your home starting today. I hope that you will learn to cherish it and appreciate it because not many orphan children are blessed with this type of chance. That girl over there is my daughter Saya. I want you to protect her, Kishou. I want you to remember that every decision you make, has to for her well-being.´

He looked away from that kind woman's face down to the child named Saya who had already latched herself to the hem of his pants, grinning widely, and had thought to himself that that was a really small price to pay. At the time, he wouldn't have thought that he would grow to love both Adelissa-in the short time she was with them - and her sweet loving daughter. He wouldn't have thought there would be moments when he would completely forget they were not really his family and that Saya knew nothing of the truth. He was an Arima just as much as he was a Rosenberg and all that he had done had been indeed for Saya. He had been created for destroying ghouls but Kishou felt that a small part of him had to be dedicated to the people who steered him in the right direction, always holding on to his humanity.

'Grandfather,' Kishou began, internally appeased by the man's permission to address him by that title. 'It might seem difficult for you to believe since we are not blood-related, however, I did care about Adelissa and I care about Saya very much. I have never once taken for granted the chance that has been given to me.'

'I know,' Rosenberg responded simply, his eyes glued on his approaching granddaughter now clad in pristine white. 'You've done well, Kishou.'

At the sound of that, Kishou exhaled, eyes closed. Content. He never would have thought that something as small as that man's approval could add to his feelings of completion. He never imagined he would obtain it and yet, there he was, closer than ever to the idea of family that he had always cherished. He had been lucky. So fortunate and blessed and while he did not have that beautiful blonde girl's blood running through his veins, he had become something more important than that. If only he could remain by their side forever, maybe then his debt would be repaid.

'You look awfully pale,' Rosenberg commented, subtly examining Saya's complexion. 'Must be the fact that you've been spending time with the wrong species,' he added, Saya's face draining of even more colour. She turned her head at Kishou whose apologetic expression said it all; while he could protect her from the rest of the world, there was no way they could hide things from Rosenberg.

'No matter,' the acclaimed doctor reassured, this will change as of today.'

'What do you mean?' Saya asked suspiciously.

'You'll be joining me in the laboratory from now on. No more silly thoughts about design school and whatnot, it's time to get serious. I would like to retire early but how on earth am I to do that if I have no one to pass on my knowledge to. Really now, it's a shame to let a talent like yours go to waste.'

Saya stared at her grandfather wide-eyed and fearful. She remembered promising him she would follow in his footsteps but that had been a long time ago, before she decided she wanted to do something else in life, something that did not involve research and imply staying in a lab for the majority of time. She had loved medicine and had learnt so fast and well but that was not who she was anymore.

'No worries, you will be assisting me in the beginning, just like the old times. We will start with figuring out how to deal with this one here,' Rosenberg said, lifting the sheet off the immobile body on the tray. As soon as she looked down at the person, Saya's legs gave up on her, Kishou being there to support her back up.

'Kaneki-san...' her voice trembled, unable to look away from his bloodied frame. His eyes were pools of blood, no trace of an eyeball visible and he did not seem to breathe life anymore.

'Heard you were attending the same university classes. It's a shame,' Rosenberg proclaimed, throwing the sheet back on Kaneki's face. Saya's mind flooded with thoughts; she did not know Kaneki had died. She had been so wrapped into her own little tragedy that the real one had somehow been pushed back. Her nightmare was simply not ending.

'Now don't be like that, child. It's not as if there's really nothing we can't do for him, just push the tray into the operating room and we shall begin,´ Rosenberg instructed.

Saya looked up at him, not really understanding.

´Well do you want to save your friend, or not? Push the tray.´ This time, Rosenberg's order left no room for defiance.

With no longer any power left to disobey orders and a small glimmer of hope sprouting at the tip of her fingers, Saya's hands grabbed onto the cold metal handle and pushed the tray towards the operating room. This was probably it, she thought to herself. The beginning of her atonement. And if she had to give her whole life to it, she would do it.

* * *

**A/N:** And the last chapter is finished! Adelissa was quite sly, wasn't she? 'Raising'a bodyguard for her daughter :D. An Epilogue will follow after this and then a small section of me replying to further replies if there are any. I'll wait 10 days for comments on the Epilogue and then close the topic completely. The epilogue will take place some time after and will fall in place with the manga :re, showing how everyone is and how they adapted to the new situation so look forward to that. I had an important reader of mine (codename00guest) recommend me to read the latest manga chapter and many things were revealed and explained about Arima which is why I slightly changed this chapter to tie it into the manga.

For a next fanfiction, I think I will settle for Kuroshitsuji. I read the last chapter recently and there was a small cameo (less than that) of Cloudia Phantomhive and well, we know she was somewhat involved with the Undertaker so this fanfiction will be about Ciel's grandmother and the Undertaker. There will be no Ciel in the story since not even his parents were born yet but I will add a bit of Sebastian there with a new *cough* master, he needs to eat after all. Speaking of a great Kuroshitsuji fanfiction, please read my friend **VictoriaPie**'s fanfiction if you're interested. You can find it at my favourites so give it a try ;)

**codename00guest:** Hey there! This is actually the last chapter and the Epilogue will follow hopefully soon. I did plan the whole chapter name thing but while it would have been better to name this one 'Feel free to scream´, I felt it would go better with the previous because it had the 'break-up´ scene between Saya and Uta. It had continuity in this manner and it complements the first time they met. But congratulations for noticing, that was a great catch! Also, thank you for recommending me I read the latest Tokyo Ghoul chapter, it helped me wrap this story a lot better and I could understand so many things about Arima. It was really sad though and I thought that Saya would be so sad after the inevitable happened. I love the fact that you said Saya is ´in-between stages´ because that describes her the best at the moment. Luckily, she will have no more time to do stupid things because her grandfather has returned as an authoritarian figure in her life and well, she's going to be part of the CCG whether she likes it or not, only that she will be in the medical field. She's actually the one who made created the whole Quinx thing along with Rosenberg. Again, good job for noticing they were discussing about that during the meeting, I swear you're my most perceptive reader! Talk soon!

**Jackie Frost123:** Aaaahhh! Thank you for commenting, here is the chapter with plenty of love!

**lizyeh2000:** You're welcome! Thanks for the comment! And yes, she did not shoot him, she just couldn't. She really liked him….*sniff

**jymmie00:** Hello hello! Was this soonish enough? .. Thank you for leaving a comment, it really means a lot!

**BlackCatNeko999:** Thank you so much for liking this chapter!^^ Well, Uta's not gonna hurt her, he can't do it either, because of various reasons kekekeke. But I never intended to make her shoot him, it's not in Saya's character to step all over her heart in just 2 days. And she had back-up, only that she did not know about it. Kishou was not going to let her roam freely without supervision, he's just that kind of brother^^. Hope to talk to you again since this is coming to an end. Take care, Neko *wink

**0kami:** Hello back! Hi there Kiba, Aimi!^^ There won't be a happy ending, I'm sorry….the manga did not have a happy ending because there are many risks at stake and since it's Uta we're talking about, I just don't see him the type to leave everything behind for the sake of love even if he did care about Saya. I'm really glad you liked the development and that somehow everyone came to turns with their impossible happy ending even though everyone was wishing for a them to stay together at first. Thank you for the support and encouragement, as always! ^^

**sherlaylay:** It was hard for me to write this chapter despite saying I couldn't wait to get to it. I did grow a bit attached to this couple and I did saw them together in my head for a while. Of course, I knew where this was going so it never really felt that truthful to me but at one point, everyone falls in love with the idea and Uta did as well. I will explain it a bit in the Epilogue. She did not shoot the wall but the mirror but you were kind of on the spot, leave it to you to guess correctly! XD Thank you so much my dear, I really hope to see you again for the finale. Take care!

**Arces:** What are you talking about, cliffhangers are the best! :) Anyways, hope this chapter was to your liking as well! :))

**M:** Well, if I left you speechless, my mission is done! :)) Kidding, I know I still have a long way to go. Thank again for taking the time to comment, every word counts a lot and they become my fuel to write. See you for this chapter too! Love.

**IveGoneCompletelyMad:** It's so nice to meet you, hello! Let me begin by telling you that I am very happy to hear you have enjoyed this story and even commented on it, thank you. I actually like sad endings better than happy ones because they feel more real to me. One of the main reasons I decided to write about Tokyo Ghoul is because I connected with Kaneki's suffering and his thoughts really resonated with mine so I appreciate the fact that you are accepting of this bittersweet ending as well. It's going to be exactly like you've said, neither happy nor sad just…bittersweet. Also, thank you for noticing my effort of focusing on other characters too, I like reading stories that explore all characters and expand the universe in all ways possible so it was important to me to show you how everyone else was contributing to the story. Have a lovely day/night and may we speak again! Love to you too!


	20. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tokyo Ghoul and have no rights over it. I thank the mangaka for creating this wonderful story that inspired so many talented writers to contribute to the fandom with their fanfictions.

**Warning:** There are **spoilers** in this chapter from the manga. Please keep that in mind if you decide to read!

* * *

Matsumoto had just finished her one-team mission in the 8th ward and thus returned to CCG headquarters to file in her report-a task she had eventually become accustomed to ever since she had been appointed a full-fledged investigator. She officially graduated shortly after the Anteiku operation and it seemed that everything changed pace with the completion of that tragic day. New investigators were promoted in the place of the deceased or missing ones, operations were expanded to a larger, more dangerous scale and advanced approaches to battles were brought into play.

For the moment, Matsumoto had nothing to worry about, she was hardly included in those types of missions but she hoped that by working hard, one day she would be fighting in the first ranks. That would also give her the opportunity to see investigator Arima Kishou more often, she thought to herself. After the Anteiku operation, Arima was no longer her mentor and Matsumoto had to be paired up with a fairly experienced investigator and form a team of her own. She did not welcome the change at first, but she realized it was simply another step she had to take towards her personal evolution. With those thoughts in mind, the female investigator headed for the elevators, picking the one that went up. Another silhouette made its way towards her, this person choosing the elevator that went down.

'Arima-sensei, good morning,' Matsumoto greeted the blonde woman with a short bow.

'Good morning to you too, Matsumoto-san,' Saya responded with a bow of her own.

As they waited for their respective elevators, Matsumoto could not help but inspect the other woman from the corner of her eye. By far, the greatest change that had taken place had been the addition of Arima Kishou's sister to the CCG organization, specifically to the research department. Overnight, Karl Rosenberg and Arima Saya were put in charge of a new research project that had eventually given the CCG the highly controversial Quinx squad. They had come up with the concept and resources to implement Quinque cores into normal humans and therefore create some sort of hybrids that were capable of battling ghouls on equal ground. While Matsumoto did not particularly know the specifics, she was aware of the importance of that result; the outcome had been handed to Akira Mado who became their group leader and Arima Kishou took upon himself the role of their supervisor. Still, even with Arima Kishou keeping them in check, everyone was still very much weary of that squad. They were not humans but they were not ghouls either. They were weapons, deadly ones and that somehow made Matsumoto question Saya's intentions. She used to think that woman would never be capable of doing anything to help and yet, she was at present a frightening existence. Doctor Rosenberg had left for Germany a long while ago and with his absence, Arima Saya had become the new head of the CCG research department. Matsumoto could not believe it yet looking at her now, she could not deny it either. That woman had changed. In such a short amount of time she ascended to her current crucial position and had transformed herself into someone that did not need to demand respect to receive it. It finally felt to Matsumoto that those two were related to each other; brother and sister-both eradicating ghouls in their own respective fields and while Arima Kishou surely represented a terrifying sight, Arima Saya, in her pure white lab coat and dawning that petite smile of hers she used to display whenever she encountered anyone somehow seemed even more intimidating, Matsumoto quivered. She witnessed that woman crying once. She saw her broken and now she saw her…pieced back together into another person. Whatever happened to Saya it must have been traumatizing enough to reshape her into that unreadable, distant pillar of grit. Naturally, Saya's elevator arrived first and the young research doctor stepped in, metal doors closing after her. As soon as Saya was out of sight, Matsumoto relaxed, exhaling a breath she had been unconsciously keeping trapped in her chest.

Saya on the other hand paid no mind to Matsumoto, there were other pressing thoughts plaguing her. She hurried out of the elevator and went directly to her lab, automatic doors opening at her arrival.

'Good morning, Saya-sensei,' a young investigator greeted her. He stood seated on one of the examining beds, investigator Akira Mado posted right next to him.

'Good morning, Haise-kun, Mado-san,' Saya returned their greetings, placing her chart on the table nearby. 'I'm sorry I'm late, I rode with Marude-san and you both know how that is.'

'On his motorcycle?' Haise asked curiously, having a hard time imagining the dignified doctor holding on to her life at the reckless speed investigator Marude usually used on two wheels.

'As if I'd allow that,' Saya withheld a chuckle as she proceeded to shove an examination flashlight into Haise's eyes checking for any inconsistencies.

'We arrived early because this one here can't exercise proper patience,' Akira Mado exposed Haise, herself amused at Saya's previous statement. 'He has a mission later on with Arima-san and he always gets really impatient.'

'He's quite the fanboy, isn't he? He wouldn't dream of disappointing my brother,' Saya joined in the fun, putting away her examining instruments.

'Mado-san, Arima-sensei, please stop talking as if I'm not here!' Haise pleaded quite flustered, cheeks flaming red at their words.

'It's your fault for being too easy to tease,' the female investigator accused.

'Privileges of your superiors,' Saya added. 'Don't worry Haise-kun, I'm actually glad you get along with my brother. He's treating you well, right?'

Haise's head snapped up, eyes wide. Honest.

'Yes! He's too overprotective sometimes but I appreciate everything he's done for me. He's almost like…my family,' Haise shyly admitted, inspecting Saya's face for any sign of disapproval. Fortunately, there was none.

'That's good,' Saya affirmed. _Kishou initially protected you as a favour to me but now I'm sure it all comes out as very natural since he most likely saw for himself what a kind-hearted child you are, Kaneki,_ Saya reflected, realizing she still could not stop herself from calling Haise by his former name. How could she, when he looked so much like him and every gesture of his was reminiscent of her once friend and university colleague. His white hair had begun to grow black roots and his personality had brightened up to such an incredible extent, it made Saya almost burst into tears just by seeing him laugh once again. It made her feel worthier of every breath she took. Finally, something good came out of her hands.

'Well, I checked everyone's charts, the tests came out negative,' Saya changed the subject, turning to investigator Mado. 'Shiba-sensei ensured me that everyone's RC cells are currently below 1000 which means you can send the Quinx squad on their next mission whenever you are ready, Mado-san.'

'Perfect, thank you for the info Sensei,' Akira said. 'Haise is below as well, I conclude.'

'Exactly, he's within normal parameters. Unless…' Saya trailed off, locking eyes with Haise again. 'you're not feeling like yourself lately or you're experiencing some type of pain you'd like to tell me about.'

Haise pondered for a few seconds, wondering if there was something worth mentioning and eventually replied:

'Not really, Sensei. I feel great, actually.'

Saya held her gaze on him intensely, wishing to prove she did not take well to lying.

'Very well. However, Haise-kun, if you start experiencing any pain or mental unbalance, I expect you to let me know as soon as possible. Whether you tell Kishou or me, you have to speak up, do you understand?'

They were supposed to be routine questions, Haise understood, but something in Arima Saya's voice gave him second thoughts. She was always worried about the squad and monitored each of them carefully with extra measures regarding him and while that was commendable, it was also a bit distressing to see her so focused on each potential thing that could go wrong. It made sense to be worried, a small miscalculation could backfire in many unpleasant ways but because of it, Haise himself stood on guard stricter than usual. He would not press into the matter though, his instincts told him it was better to stay away from that subject for now and the last thing he wanted was to upset her. After all, she was the sister of his treasured mentor and the first person he saw when he opened his eyes in the hospital bed and that made her more important than he would ever let her know.

'I understand. You're being too overprotective as well, Saya-sensei,' Haise smiled at her, exchanges glances with Mado.

'I can't help it, my patients are very important to me,' Saya replied, avoiding his gaze. If only he knew half of what had transpired before he had been reborn as Haise Sasaki and the sacrifices that had to be made to ensure he could live a different life, he would see her in a completely different light.

'AAAAHHHHH!' Haise suddenly exclaimed, startling both women with his reaction.

'What's wrong?' Akira inquired quickly, Saya already taking her stethoscope into her hands, certain something medical must have happened.

'I'm late, my squad is going to kill me!' Haise explained, gathering his things.

'Oh for crying out loud, was it necessary to scare us like that?' Akira demanded, abstaining herself from smacking the young man.

Haise bowed apologetically twice, his hand rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.

'Sorry, sorry. Thank you for always having me in your care, Saya-sensei. Mado-san, I will see you later. Please, excuse-me!' He threw the words in a hurry and headed for the exit as swiftly as possible.

'Haise!' Saya called after him, succeeding in stopping him for a brief second. 'No running in my laboratory!'

'Yes, ma'am!'

'That brat,' Saya muttered watching him run out of their sight. 'How dare he, we're the same age!'

Saya heard Akira giggle next to her and turned her head at the investigator expectantly.

'I'm sorry,' the woman said, halting her small laughter, 'it's just good to see you more relaxed. The first time I met you, I thought you were not capable of smiling,' she added, remembering the day she first saw Saya. She had heard about her from Amon so she had expected to see a radiant girl not a hollow shell. It was only after the Quinx squad was formed that Arima's sister starting looking people in the eye and Akira finally witnessed a different side of her she could actually trust and admire.

Saya remembered that day too. Her grandfather had made her cut into Kaneki's chest and fill her hands with his blood as they conducted tests and contoured their strategy to deliver a reborn Kaneki Ken. She threw up so much those days and could not fall asleep due to constant trembling. With that, Saya had been reborn as well.

'That's because I did a terrible thing before I came to CCG and I had to make up for it but I still don't know if it was the right thing to do…,' Saya finally admitted to Akira. 'I remade that boy…and I dread the day he will remember everything. It's inevitable and I don't want him to hate me, I couldn't stand it.'

Akira listened intently, careful not to pry into what terrible thing she did before joining the organization and focused on Saya's contributions instead. She went over to her now friend and confidant and sat them both down.

'Saya,' Akira said, calling her by her first name now that they were alone, 'your research delivered us hope. This Quinx squad you and Rosenberg-san created have given us a new force to battle ghouls. We're not as helpless as we used to be and the fact that Kaneki Ken is breathing again is something to be proud of, not hesitant. You gave him a second chance. Why would he hate you?'

'Because I couldn't let go, Akira. I just couldn't let him rest in peace. I had to be selfish and drag him back to this unfair world and give him this new, unfortunate life.'

'Does he seem unhappy to you? Do you really think he would blame you for bringing him back?'

'If he remembers, yes,' Saya affirmed with conviction. 'And I'm not confident enough to prevent that from happening, his kagune is just too strong. Stronger than anything I've ever seen and that is precisely why he will remember.'

Investigator Mado sighed, realizing there was no use to console her with traditional methods. Whenever Saya got an idea into her head, she stubbornly stuck to it. Her perseverance was what made her into the researcher that she was today, after all. Moreover, it was impossible for Akira to find a way to reach the other woman completely when she herself was not in possession of all details. In defeat, she looked away from Saya's pensive face and around the lab, inspecting the many tubes and machines at work, a thought crossing her mind.

'I can relate to your anxiety but I am not worried.'

Saya's eyebrows rose, truthfully interested in what her colleague had to say.

'Because I know you'll be ready. When he remembers, you'll also have an ace up your sleeve, you're not an Arima for nothing,' Akira smiled, internally pinpointing the many similarities between the blonde woman and Kishou. 'Also, I'm sure you're already working on something that will revolutionize our world.'

Saya matched her friend's smile, steel eyes warming ever so slightly. 'Leave it to you to intuit correctly.'

'Of course.'

'But you know, Akira…it's either going to be a success or a disaster. There is no middle ground.' _And I'll have to dirty my hands so much more than other, _Saya added internally, not completely comfortable of admitting that part to Akira just yet.

'Whatever it is,' Akira gently spoke, no longer afraid of what the future could bring, 'I'm patiently waiting for it.'

Without notice, the lab doors opened to reveal a nurse stepping in.

'Arima-sensei, we're ready to begin.'

Akira rose to her feet, bowing to Saya in the process.

'I kept you far too long when you're so busy. I'll see you later, Arima-sensei.'

'No worries, Mado-san,' Saya finished the conversation. The moment the investigator was out of sight, Saya followed the nurse in another part of the laboratory where her own medical staff was waiting for her. As she accepted their greetings, Saya took a look at the few giant tubes hosting ghouls gesturing towards a middle-aged one.

'We'll take this one today,' she said. The staff made the necessary preparations while Saya disinfected herself and put on her surgery attire, a few minutes later posting herself in front of the operating table.

'Time: 09:28 am. Test subject number 24. We shall now begin the operation,' Saya announced, her scalpel cutting into the first layer of skin, the sight of blood almost comforting her. No matter the sacrifices that had to be made, Saya diligently worked towards the day where an initial surgery such as that of Kaneki could be reversed and ghouls could be turned into humans. When that day would come, Saya would personally drag every last one of ghouls on her operating table and pluck out wickedness out of their flesh.

* * *

Itori woke up to the sound of Uta sleeping next to her. She opened her eyes and was greeted by his bare back, his tattoos coming into focus as the haze from her sleep gradually wore off. Content with herself, she stretched her legs and continued to look at him peacefully. It had been so long since she last was in his bed. She could not even dare approach the subject of them re-engaging in their physical activities due to the fact that Arima's sister had been in the picture longer than expected. The redhead had accepted the new situation at first and had waited heroically for Saya to be discarded but things were not advancing as quickly as she wished. She hoped Uta would have his fun with her and then focus on his Pierrot persona however, while he did continue with their plans, Saya had remained at his side.

She knew the woman did not mean much to him but somehow, she continued to be worried. There were times when Uta genuinely looked delighted by her presence and the extra care he took around her was deemed unnecessary by Itori. If she had not known better, Itori would have thought the male ghoul had actually fallen for her; whenever Itori would approach the Saya subject, Uta would cut her off right from the beginning, asking her to stay away from that matter. It was such a frustrating thought, especially since whatever Uta did affected all of them and having that woman in his life presented more disadvantages than it did advantages. And even so, he chose to keep her. He chose to be nice to her and give her Itori's spot in his bed. He decided to touch her far too much, meet her far too often and gaze at her far too greedily. The way he conducted himself around her had been painful to watch, even if it was supposed to be an act.

Itori exhaled in frustration, trying to push those thoughts away. It was over now, that woman was no longer in their lives and no more under his protection. She had been just a speck of dust in Uta's book that was blown away by reality facts. With an agile leap, she got out of the bed, wrapping a silk robe around her body and heading for the bathroom. She went into the hallway and as she walked towards the end of it, a door caught her attention. Uta told her beforehand never to step inside since it was his private working space and while she passed that door thousands of times before, today something stopped her from ignoring it. The lights were still on in the room, she could clearly see a fragment of glint seeping from under the threshold and when she pushed the handle, she understood it was not locked. As soon as the inside had become visible, the female ghoul wished she had never opened that door in the first place.

Itori entered the room, bare feet guiding her on the cold floor to step into what she soon realized was a shrine to that woman. She whirled around on her toes slowly, horrified by what she saw. There were pictures of Saya everywhere. Drawings and paintings of her on different mediums such as paper, wood and even glass. Photographs were hanging from strings while the walls were decorated with charcoal sketches of that woman from every possible angle; Saya sleeping, Saya smiling, Saya running her fingers through that cursed golden hair of hers. The colours of paint were so vivid and every stroke of pencil or brush was at times precise whereas other instances it was warm and even endearing. In the centre of the room there was a glass case protecting a mask Itori had not seen before and above it, there was a cut-out from a newspaper, displaying Saya's photograph and a headline that read: _Arima Saya has been appointed as of today the new Head of Research Department at Tokyo CCG._

Itori could not understand, she felt she could not breathe. If Saya were in front of her right now she would claw her eyes out. She would cut her into million pieces and smear those walls in her blood. She would end her life for infecting theirs. And if matters were not already bad enough, footsteps were heard behind her. Without giving him any chance to speak, Itori turned around furiously, angry words directed at Uta:

'What is the meaning of this?'

'I remember telling you never to go into this room,' Uta replied, keeping himself collected.

'Oh really? Why? Were you planning to keep this room a secret? Two more drawings of her and you would have started occupying the hallway walls anyways!' Itori shouted, unable to control her reactions. She looked at him desperately, demanding answers. In return, he preferred his silence which agitated the redhead beyond her limits.

'I don't understand! Why is…why is she here!?' Itori questioned, her arms extending to encompass the entire room. 'Do you still want her?' She asked, that thought suddenly crossing her mind. 'Is that it? Do you still want her?! Well, I have news for you Uta, you can't have her anymore! You drove her away, remember? You yourself deceived her and made her leave when she found out she means nothing to you and yet here we are; you sanctifying her like some sort of royalty and me, unable to grasp this insane situation!'

Never in her life had she spoken to him like this, especially on that tone. It must have been all those months of frustration which have piled up ever since Arima's sister appeared that were now ordering her to speak her mind.

'You're a Pierrot, Uta. You have goals to achieve. Our goals!' Itori reminded him, hoping to appeal to a higher purpose.

'And when have I given any reasons of worry regarding my contribution?' He counteracted as he sighed, aiming to shorten that pointless conversation. The whole reason why he indulged Itori was because she never complained and never required explanations however the state she was in right now exceeded even that of a jealous human woman.

'That's not the point,' Itori said, not liking the way he handled the subject. 'It might be a reason to worry about in the future, it's not excluded, especially now that I've seen she's not entirely gone from your mind. But…you have to let this go, U-chan. You have to…' Itori commanded, walking over to the article piece. 'Look at her. Do you see who she is now? She's one of our main enemies, a peril to our kind. You should have killed her then, Uta. Regardless of the consequences, it would have been better to rid the world of a threat like her.'

In a matter of seconds, his eyes darkened while his body deceivingly maintained his relaxed state. Itori was in danger, she could sense it in every fibre of her skin but she could not stop her mouth from running.

'You can't have her anymore, I understand that and you don't. But that's alright, I'll help you. As always, I'll be here for you,' Itori reassured him. 'First, we have to get rid of these,' the woman said, her trembling hands already crumpling the many drawings of Saya.

'Itori,' Uta warned, motionless in his spot.

Itori ignored him, beginning to frantically tear down the paintings and photos of Saya, stepping on them as she moved on to the next.

'Itori,' Uta repeated, his tone softer.

Itori shuddered. She knew him better than anyone and she was aware that the softer his tone got, the more severe the punishment would be. She was ready to take the risk, her fingers busier than before and even though she worked quickly, it did not seem like she made any progress. There were just so many pictures of that woman it drove her crazy. She dragged and ripped and lastly avenged her anger on the glass case, throwing it on the floor, breaking the glass and damaging the mask. That must have been the last drop. She felt herself grabbed from behind, Uta's hand violently pushing her face into the adjacent wall, a sound of cracking bones emerging from within. She felt her jaw dislocate and when she pulled her head out of the debris, blood gushed out from her broken nose. Itori could not believe it.

For his part, Uta had lost interest in her and walking over to the fallen drawings, he began carefully collecting them one by one. Itori raised her hands to her face to inspect the damage, bloody eyes fixed on him. She took a step forward but his voice stopped her.

'Get out.'

She simply had to obey or else he would truly kill her this time. The step taken forward was taken back and as she exited the room, Itori understood something that maybe Uta himself could not understand yet; he was longing after Saya. She had no idea why or how it happened but he must have lost something the day she left and he was trying to put that piece back within himself by drawing her as much as he could. Remembering her.

Itori took a few napkins and wiped off the mess, sensing her ghoul blood already regenerating her broken face. She snapped her jawbone back in place and got dressed, exiting the studio angrier and hungrier than ever. She spotted two humans up ahead and went after them, a thought eating her from the inside; as long as that woman was alive, Uta would never stop thinking about her.

* * *

The air was chilly that evening but she would rather feel cold than warm. The cold always brought a state of clarity to her mind and helped her reflect on matters better, especially at high altitudes. If there was something Saya had copied from that ghoul she used to love, that had to be the need to stare down at the city from rooftops and CCG's headquarters provided quite the impressive height.

Kishou's composed voice reverberated through her phone right into her ear with tones of consideration:

'I won't be able to join you for dinner tonight, the mission is proving to be more challenging than we estimated.'

'Will it be alright?'

'Yes, no reason for alarm,' he replied to her question.

'Good. Well, I won't be coming home tonight either so it works out just fine,' Saya explained. 'How is Haise performing? His tests came out perfectly.'

'I was told. He's doing a satisfactory job and he has you to thank for it.'

'For now,' the young woman specified as she came closer to the railing.

'Yes. We can only focus on the present, that is all we can do,' Kishou said, referring to her private worries.

They had become even closer since the Anteiku Raid keeping nothing hidden from each other. Almost nothing. He still could not tell her they were not actually related nor that he was only half human. But Kishou figured she had her own secrets which maintained balance in their relationship as long as they remained uncovered.

'Saya,' Kishou began, 'if CCG loses its control or matters get out of hand, you have to take refuge in Germany. The Institute will protect you.'

'I thought you were supposed to protect me,' Saya reminded him, comprehending the whole point of that conversation.

'You know what I mean. We may never know what tomorrow brings which is why it's beneficial to have a solution for everything, as best as we can. You have people you can trust here but your destination has to be Germany, do you understand?'

'I understand,' Saya agreed, looking at the file she had been holding in her hand. Her eyes graced the words that were printed on the cover _Arima Kishou: Sunlit Garden test subject number 56 _and sighed loudly_. _'I simply wish you could be more sincere with me, Kishou,' Saya said.

Silence followed, hinting at Kishou's momentary wordlessness. In the end, they both knew but perhaps it was not that necessary to voice it out anymore.

'My feelings are sincere, Saya. No matter what happens, I ask you to remember that I care about you.'

'As you have proven numerous times before,' Saya voiced out affectionately. 'There is no one else I would want for a brother, Kishou, I hope that you will remember that as well.'

On the other side, Kishou closed his eyes serenely. Sounds of explosions and gun shots were heard in the background as his squad dominated the battlefield but all that Kishou could hear was her voice telling him the words he had always wanted to hear. Many times before he had considered leaving everything behind and taking her somewhere far away from all of this but he would always remember the reason he was created, the sacrifices he had to make and his own understanding of what the world had to become in order to bestow true safety to his family.

Haise's voice could be heard in the background calling after Kishou and they both assumed the conversation was over.

'I'll call you when I'm done,' Kishou told her instead of a goodbye.

'Good, I'll be waiting,' she said, placing her cell phone in her lab coat and looking up at the wide starry sky.

'I miss not knowing anything,' Saya whispered, thinking about the many secrets that had been unveiled to her from the first moment she arrived at CCG; the nest of vipers this place was, her brother's affiliation with independent groups and his own identity, the cruel tests that had been done within those walls in order to grasp command and even the heartless researcher she had suppressed into herself before her grandfather had set it free. She only wished her and Kishou could have been more truthful to one another, given the fact they were family regardless of what DNA proved. But that was who he was, private and always taking everything upon himself. Saya supposed she would be the last to find out about his death if that were to occur. He would give no warning and no farewell, instead, she would most likely be presented with a white corpse, a will that would no longer be blank and condolences from his colleagues who had witnessed it all. And she would weep and accuse the motionless shell for leaving her behind and she would never be the same again.

Saya ultimately made her way back into her office, not ready to face her laboratory just yet. She went on to turn on her desk lamp to lighten the dim room even just a little and was not surprised to find a female ghoul sneaking up on her, puncturing a knife at her back.

'It's been a while, Itori-san. I don't believe I deserve this type of greeting, especially since you entered my office without invitation,' Saya told the redhead, handling the situation in a calmer manner than the other had initially imagined.

'Shut up!' Itori barked. 'I'm not here to chat.'

'Well I can't say I'm disappointed about that. Our common topic revolves around someone I'd rather not discuss with you.'

The blade suddenly felt harder against her back; Itori clearly did not appreciate Saya's verbal additions.

'Don't worry, Saya, I'll make it so that you won't discuss anything with anyone ever again,' Itori let her know decisively, the knife raising with the intention to hit her neck artery when Saya had the nerve to speak again.

'Maybe you should reconsider.'

The female ghoul's hand stopped in mid-air, finally seeing it for herself. The glistening blade of a scythe came into view, targeting her own neck. Due to shock, Itori dropped her knife, her kakugan activating for battle mode but she failed to react quick enough just as she had failed to sense someone else had entered the office and had stalked her as prey to kill. The scythe hit the side of her shoulder, blood gushing out of her flesh for the second time that day. She fell on the floor, unable to move freely as a young CCG investigator positioned himself on top of her, his hand now clutching her neck. Itori gasped for air, staring at the investigator and instantly recognizing him by his weapon of choice, by his unfocused eyes, his no longer white hair and visible stitches.

'Good work, Juuzou,' Saya praised the investigator, leaning on his shoulder and looking down at an outraged Itori. Saya's suspicions had been confirmed as she was currently certain there was a traitor in her staff – the same who had probably led Itori straight to her office undetected by the security system. She would work on it later, for now, there was that woman that had to be dealt with. She used to reason Suzuya was being paranoiac by frequently tailing her in case of danger but after he had lost his leg, Saya had visited him often during his recovery and ever since that time, they had become inseparable. The boy searched for her company actively and usually was the one to bring her new subjects for her tests and somewhere along the line she began enjoying his presence more than anyone else's. Her brother had indeed surrounded Saya by people who would protect her if anything were to happen to her.

'Thank you very much, Saya-san. I saw her sneaking in your office an hour ago but I wanted to wait; I thought it would be more entertaining this way,' Suzuya grinned at Saya.

Saya mutually beamed as she nodded her head in approval.

'It is more fun when you play with them, I agree. Plus, Itori-san is a special guest, she deserves a proper reception.'

Suzuya lessened his grip on Itori's neck, not wanting her to lose conscience just yet. Next to him, Saya took out a syringe full of RC suppressants which she always kept in the pocket of her lab coat, spurting some of the liquid out. At the sight of it, Itori started squirming and resisting, the blood loss preventing her from fully activating her kagune.

'Don't worry Itori, I won't kill you,' Saya said as she stuck the needle in the woman's eye. 'I just need you to be docile while I take some samples. I need them for some very important tests, you see. And afterwards, I'll let you walk out of here alive, I promise.'

There was no use fighting back anymore, that damn kid was just too strong and the serum had already kicked in, rendering Itori helpless. She had come here to kill that woman, she had even called Uta to tell him she would erase Saya's existence if he couldn't do it on his own and instead, she had been the one to be defeated. She glared at Saya hatefully, voicing out the one thing that might give her the upper hand under those circumstances.

'He has forgotten all about you, you know? You're nothing to him and you never were!'

Saya stood in wonder for a few seconds, not anticipating that type of retort from the redhead. Her facial expression regained back supremacy as the words sunk in and she delivered a war declaration of her own.

'If that were really so, you would not be here in my office trying to kill me, now would you?'

Itori froze, realizing that what she initially said might have done exactly the opposite of the expected result. She was here precisely because Uta hadn't forgotten about her and now she gave Saya the ultimate proof. Itori had been so hypnotized by that woman's face that she had failed to notice Suzuya take out a knife of his own.

'So we're not going to kill her, Saya-san?'

'Not today, Juuzou. You have to cut deep enough to reach the kakuhou but make sure not to damage it. Just like I've taught you.'

'Understood,' Suzuya said, his knife ripping apart Itori's dress to reach flesh.

Amidst Itori's screams, Saya's cell phone vibrated in her lab coat pocket. Curious about who could be contacting her at that late hour, her heart almost skipped a beat laying eyes on the sender's number as she read their message:

_If you have her, let her go._

Saya smiled cryptically, writing a message of her own and after pushing send on her phone, she threw it nonchalantly on the table and returned to help Suzuya with the excruciatingly loud process.

Within another ward, in an equally dim room, a phone vibrated on the desk. Accordingly, a heavily tattooed arm reached out for it, red eyes reading the illuminated large screen:

_Come and get her._

* * *

The end

* * *

_Mentions:_

\- _Shiba Sensei is the one who apparently created the Quinx squad in the manga, I changed the facts a little and mentioned him here as well;_

\- _'__kakuhou' is the organ sack that stores RC cells in a ghoul._

**A/N:** And it's all done…T.T. I can't believe I've reached the end and that I'm so sad I won't be able to write about these characters again but at least I can say I closed this chapter the way I wanted to. I'm sure that everyone who is up to date with Tokyo Ghoul:re has noticed many bits and pieces that I have added throughout this epilogue to tie the fanfiction in more nicely, I thought it would work better this way.

I will write a section of replies to comments after posting this so make sure you come back for that as well, I want to properly thank and say goodbye to each and every one of you who joined me in this almost 2-year mission. Also, if there are any questions regarding characters or anything else you feel hasn't been addressed in this chapter, feel free to ask, I will give a detailed answer about everything. I believe the biggest question will be 'Did Uta ever love Saya?' and the answer is somewhere in the middle but I'm not saying anything for now, I'm just letting the epilogue sink in.

**P.S:** I apologize to all Itori fans for her treatment in this chapter. To tell you the truth, she was one of my favourite characters from the manga/anime since I have a thing for redheaded women but as I read the last chapter of the manga, I disliked her the most and saw the kind of character she really was. :(

**To my lovely reviewers: **

**animefairy299:** Thank you! I made sure to update quicker this time since this is the epilogue and everyone was waiting for it eagerly. Thank you for commenting, even a few words make me really happy J

**lizyeh2000:** And thank you for your comment! It was a sad moment and no matter how heartless Uta is, he did not expect for it to end so quickly and dryly. While he did know himself this was not going to last, in the end he wanted to drag it as much as possible. Take care!

**Megohime no Mutsu:** Somehow that says everything XD. I hope this chapter helped you sort out your feelings and come to terms with how this ended. It's not a particularly sad or bad ending, right?... just …different.

**Arces:** Hello and don't worry, I wasn't going to let this story end like this, I had the epilogue in mind as well. I can't focus on everyone because the story is more or less written in correlation to Saya and I did not want to put her in the middle of everything because that does not feel authentic to me. If you have extra questions about characters, please don't be shy! :D

**Jackie Frost123:** Thank you so much for stopping by! I don't know what to think about the ending myself. Is it heart-breaking? Void of any hope? I like to think of it as a new beginning. Saya is a new person now and Uta is not so indifferent to her as he used to be. Even I don't know if they will ever be together again but I did leave an open door. It all depends on Uta though and on what he chooses to do in the future with his choices *wink

**BlackCatNeko999:** As always, thank you for your encouraging words, Neko!^^ I hope the epilogue put a satisfactory end to this, more or less. And thanks for appreciating the :re spoilers, they really had to be added since Saya was going to be part of the CCG. I never wanted to make her an investigator because you need years of physical training and a bit of talent to become one so it wouldn't have been plausible and I don't see her as such. She had the basis of a researcher due to Rosenberg's influence and the immense talent for DNA modification so this was going to be her path. Sometimes you need a good push and for that we can thank Uta and Rosenberg :)). See you in the comments section!

**CharitinaX:** Don't turn to alcoholism, my dear! That was not the end, the epilogue is and there are good things here! It's not exactly a happy ending but it's not as if it's completely over between Uta and Saya. Anything can happen and depending on Uta's behaviour, they might cross paths again. What I can tell you though, if they restart their relationship in the future, matters are going to be slightly different; Saya will have the upper hand in everything and Uta will have to be the one to keep the relationship going because she would never make the same mistake again and she would always be ready to flee once he makes another mistake. But you're right, I should have added the 'tragedy' label as well but I thought that people are not going to die in my fanfiction so there was no need to add that drama categorization. I truly hope this Epilogue gave you a bit of closure…pretty please with a cherry on top ;.; ? Sometimes relationships don't work even when true love is involved…I mean, Yoshimura had something real and it did not end well, now did it? And he truly loved the mother of his child. Uta did not love Saya from the beginning, he was simply fascinated with her. He likes pretty things and Saya is pretty and she was also Arima's sister. There was some sort of ego of his involved. But not anymore, he's being tortured for his arrogance now :D:D That's good, right?

**codename00guest:** She is trying to salvage a piece of her old self, exactly! She's also trying to make amends and do the right thing by creating Haise, I'm so happy you noticed. Saya needed that tough lesson to grow. She never made any progress the way she was and walked through life as someone who had to be protected but had nothing to protect of her own. I wanted her to develop as a character but in order to become who she is now she had to be betrayed, shocked, scared and disappointed. Her parents wanted to keep her away from this world but from my part, that was wishful thinking especially when her own father and brother were working at CCG. She's not exactly a good person now either. She learnt cruelty and decided she could also play with people's lives and while that does not make her someone great, it does make her an interesting character that has the potential to break Kaneki's throne when the right time comes, if you know what I mean…With this throne thing and in this fanfiction, Arima Kishou gave us two sides of a coin; when one will be near self-destruction, the other will be there to balance everything out. Have a lovely day and let's discuss again!^^

**M:** Thank you so much, M! I was hesitant to add that part because it is a spoiler and it was quite a shock to me. I mean, I knew he was too good for a human but I always imagined him …from the same species XD. But that explains a lot and it makes the relationship between him and Saya even more captivating. Hope to see you at the end!

**palimpalim:** Hello there, so grateful to see you comment! Don't worry, I appreciate critique as long as it's thoroughly explained and argued and yours was a positive example! You were right, I did hold back but mainly because all along, I knew Uta did not love Saya. I sneered from the shadows at her ignorance and felt really pleased watching Uta realize he felt something towards her when she left. It's good that you felt their romance was fabricated or not strong enough to make you feel heartbroken, it means you picked up on Uta's deceit. Uta can fool you really easily, I mean, I was tricked by him as well and everyone was, so him falling in love would be a very unconventional thing for him to do especially with someone like Saya. Things changed by the end, actually quite at the end, when he saw a side of her that he could really not get out of his mind. But I get your point, sometimes I wish I worked more on their interactions to make it feel more real even though it was not quite so. You stated a really interesting thing….you said you are a fan of Saya despite disliking her as a person and that makes for great praise towards me. Thank you again.

**ChaoticDiamond:** It's good news for me that you're liking where this story is ending. ^^ I believe everyone was hoping for a happy ending and yet somehow everyone knew it was not going to happen, I have such perspicacious readers! I'm sad it's ending too but I'm secretly happy you're on board with the Kuroshitsuji fanfiction because that means I will see you there as well so this is not really goodbye T.T

**sherlaylay:** You have been here since the very beginning and I'm sad too, not necessarily because this story is over but more importantly because I will not be able to talk to you all again and debate Uta's character XD. It's good that you're relieved…sometimes, there are stories that don't have to have a happy ending and I think 'Off limits' was one of them. Saya has evolved; she still can't shoot a gun but she's doing much more than that and I think she finally has a purpose to work on. I expect great things from her, heh. I do read every review and replying to everyone brings me much joy. I work a very busy job and I don't have time to interact with people outside my workplace anymore so this is a nice escape. Every review is important and if I had 1000 reviewers, I would reply to each and every one of them. Take care my dear and see you in the last comment section. Love

**0kami:** And I will miss replying to you, trust me! You're right, Saya did shoot herself-that version of herself that was selfish and made so many mistakes. Her new job and even the Quinx squad are her own way of atoning, that's really the only way she can erase some of the guilt and even forget about Uta. Please do give Kuroshitsuji a try, you will love it! You can watch the anime (only the first season, the second season seemed to stomp on everything Kuroshitsuji represents and it was not even in the manga) and then pick up from where they left on with the manga! The drawing style is very beautiful and the action is packed, mysterious and has an elegant air to it. And maybe then you can come on over to my Kuroshitsuji fanfiction! *wink-wink I'll say my goodbyes to you in my next comments! Take care.


	21. Comments

**A/N:**

Hello everyone! Here is the promised section of comments. First of all, I would like to say that I am not tagging this fanfiction as complete just yet because I plan to rewrite and correct many things about it. It is a very special story to me so I will take the time to give it the right consideration, no matter how long it takes. When I finish, I will 'complete it'. Many of you have requested a sequel and while I don't intend to write one for now, I will never say never XD. Meanwhile, I have started my Kuroshitsuji fanfiction, if you have the time and energy, please give it a shot! I wanted to write about Claudia Phantomhive and the Undertaker but someone recently posted a similar story so I went with a reader's suggestion instead, hehe.

Secondly and most importantly, thank you everyone for sticking with me for such a long time and reviewing this fanfiction. Thank you to my special reviewers and to my followers. And thank you for favouring the story!

**Xavier Rall:** Thank you so much, Xavier. I try to write what I want to read and I always wanted a believable heroine so the fact that I have succeeded even just a little makes me really happy, thank you for such praise! I'm really glad you liked it and I hope I will see you in the comment section of my new fanfiction, I will be keeping an eye out for you. Take care!

**L. :** Hello and don't worry, better late than never! Uta is really complicated and often I would get really frustrated when I had to write him because I started off with an idea and he always managed to break it and remind me there's not much I know about him. Sometimes he seems like a brat who just likes to see the world burn *sigh I went with the realistic approach because a happy ending isn't always satisfying and in this case, not really believable. There were just too many lies and many masks so I can't see Saya forgiving him that easily. Or forgiving herself for that matter. With that comment I left an open door because the manga is not over yet so I can't know for sure how Uta is or what plans he has for the future. A little secret for you, he won't go after Itori because Saya will let her go before he even considers it. Also, Uta is still not entirely ready to face her again, I believe he's more afraid of his reaction than hers XD. Thank you for commenting, I enjoyed discussing this with you!^^

**Megohime of Mutsu:** Aww, I'm not really cruel, I promise….T.T I imagined not many people would like the ending but I thought it would be more satisfying to stay true to the nature of characters. I tried so hard to keep everyone in character and I really did not want to destroy everything right at the end. This is how I see Uta, I'm sorry. But hey, I promise that when the manga :re is complete, I will come back and write about what happened to Uta and Saya :D Thank you so much for all your comments and thoughts for these past two years, I feel like I'm saying goodbye to a friend. Please take care and drop me a line from time to time, I would appreciate it! Love.

**lizyeh2000:** Thank you my dear! I haven't marked it complete yet because I'm going to correct the lemons out of it! XD It deserves it. Thank you for staying with me after reading, for commenting and favouring it, it means so much to me! Bye. For now. ;)

**BlackCatNeko999:** I'm so grateful for your words, Neko! So glad to see you here at the end and liking the ending! The fact that you appreciate my writing style really motivates me to write more so hopefully, you'll give a try to my Kuroshitsuji fanfiction, it needs your love as well! : Thank you for all the encouragement and support, you're very sweet. :D

**XxXxMuseXxXx:** Hello, so nice to see new faces here even at the end :D Yep, Uta realized he wanted her when she was gone. In fact, he wanted that version of Saya that almost shot him, that dangerous and strong femme fatale. Well, he does not have the opportunity to go after Itori so they won't meet very soon. But they will one day and since there are so many reviewers who demand a sequel, I will write something short when the Tokyo Ghoul: re manga gets complete. Thank you again and take care!^^

**codename00guest:** She has become cruel and tougher than even she imagined but everything she went through contributed to her growth as a character. Everything, from first meeting with Uta, her betrayal, the lies, the contact with flesh and blood and her grandfather's influence. It was little by little and she needed this. I needed this too! XD Ahh, I wanted to write about a strong Saya so bad! Thank you for your presence here, it gave me all the support I needed. Hope to see you reviewing again!^^

**sekera:** Hello! That's amazing, translating my story? Wow, sure, you have permission as long as you give me credit and link your translation back to this story. Also what language are you translating it in and where can I see your translation, it would be great to see! :D

**M:** Yay, you're here! Saya did not change completely, she's still an idealist and it's her own vision of turning everyone human because she wants to eradicate the nature of a ghoul completely. It does seem like something almost impossible but I'm following the manga and I'm curious to see how Sensei tackles this issue as well so everything is possible at the moment. I mean, look at Kaneki's identity now XD. And Itori does strike me as a very jealous individual, this scene was overdue and now Saya had the guts for it. I really hope to see you in my other story as well, if not, you have my goodbye and so much gratitude for everything, really!

**IveGoneCompletelyMad:** Thank you as well for reading and staying hooked. It seems you are in the 'pro realistic ending' team, yay XD. Since Uta is still such a mystery I had to keep this ending open, it made more sense this way. I wanted a happy ending too don't get me wrong but since I have nurtured these characters, I had to give them what they needed. Thank you for your kind words and for staying with this story, it makes me extremely happy to know that there are people who profit emotionally from my writing. May we talk again in other comments! Love.

**0kami:** Hello my dear, greetings to you and your lovely cats! Yes, no one can change completely, they will always have a part of them they keep preserved. That's what so interesting when writing about humans and Saya is no exception. I'm glad I had the chance to write about a strong Saya, she's one of the characters that needed to grow the most. Glad you enjoyed this story and that we could fangirl about this manga/anime. And when you have the time, please do give Kuroshitsuji a try, it's the perfect anime to watch in the evening after work :)). Good luck with your work and everything in your life, children really do drain you of power! Hope to talk to you again, it's always such a great pleasure. ^^

**StarmillSKnight:** Hey there sweet happy banshee! So much love from me for all your comments and for your courage of reading this so quickly in such a short amount of time. I don't know about a sequel but I have given my word to write something as a conclusion after the manga ends completely. Thank you so much for your input and for sending me your appreciative words. Please take care and come back again :D

**Guest:** I agree with the creepy part, Saya has morphed into something kind of scary but circumstances forced her to become this way unfortunately. I know what you mean about humans being so individualistic and proud and Saya is no exception, that is why she would like to eradicate ghouls completely. Thank you for giving this fanfiction a try despite not caring much about the Uta character. As for Saya's father, he's currently on a mission of his own. He also uncovered the fact that CCG has some infiltrated ghouls that are eating the organization from the inside so he needed to go missing for a while. He will return in that 'possible sequel' I will eventually write since so many people are asking for it XD. And I enjoyed writing about Aogiri as well! Such a fun bunch :D Talk to you later ;)

**palimpalim:** I see where you're coming from, with Saya wanting to disconnect from all that ghoul stuff however, she currently feels it's her duty to stay involved. There is also the issue with Kishou and if you read the manga, you will understand what I'm talking about. She does feel guilty, that feeling will take a while before disappearing and the only way she can get over it is by becoming this type of soldier. Saya is a bit crazy thinking she could reverse the ghoul process however, she would rather work on that than substitutes for ghoul food because not many ghouls would give up on the privilege of eating humans. Even if they did, they would still remain a danger due to their kagune. Hehe and congrats on picking up on the Saya-Suzuya spark there. In the future, Suzuya will be quite the serious contender for Saya's heart, watch out Uta you fool! There are many things that Saya and Suzuya have in common at the moment so it's only natural they would get really close. Thank you for reading, for reviewing and for being here. From all my heart love and may we talk again!

A special thanks to **sherlaylay, ChaoticDiamond, CharitinaX, Cyleana, NecroPriestess and Hikiri** \- the people who have not managed to say their goodbyes to me in this last chapter but have been here since the beginning supporting me and encouraging me to write. You helped me get through a lot of doubt regarding this fanfiction and your presence motivated me to write more. I hope you are all alright and I am sending you my warmest goodbye. ^.^

**Over and out!**


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